There’s been an ongoing question brewing in my mind for the last few months. A kind of on-and-off one that I tried to ignore, which just became a no-brainer earlier today.
As I squeezed into my skinny black jeans, I noticed how difficult they were to zip up, and also noticed the little gap that was left on the top. I also noticed just how tightly they gripped my tummy, so much so that I had skin sticking out on both sides.
I’ve always been skinny, and even when pregnant I only carried baby girl in my tummy. After birth my tummy went back to normal within a few weeks, but it’s not because I did anything special: that’s just the way my body is. There is nothing to be revered or celebrated about that, because that’s it, I did nothing. The women who put on heaps on weight during pregnancy and then find the strength to lose it, are the ones who should be applauded. In fact, if you still have excess weight a year after your child has been born, that is also ok. The first year of a child being born is such a rollercoaster ride that all Mums need to be cut slack in ALL regards, and let to do what they can and want when they can and want, in their own time. Weight, can wait. I know it can be a health issue, but seriously? Fuck off. A woman has just brought a little human into the world. The weight will work itself out in due time, when she has due time.
I digress. So I’ve always been skinny. And when I saw the flab sticking out of my tight jeans, as if it were about to burst, I wasn’t impressed. My baby girl isn’t a year old. She’s 2 and a half.
‘But you’re a busy Mum!’ You may cry in my defence. And thank you, that is true. I am very busy. I have so much on lately, that I don’t know where my head is at. My mind is so full with details, and events, and story ideas, and things I need to buy, and that person’s birthday, and I forgot to email that guy back, and oh shit that bill, but Hubbie needs me to drop off his suit….
Yeah. That happens, and then I find myself in this random lull, where I just stop what I’m doing and stare, my head going blank for a moment in an effort to force a temporary break from the ongoing cycle of my life. And then I blink and go ‘what was I doing?’
Despite my busy-ness, it does not excuse the fact that certain things, like exercise and health, especially at this stage of Motherhood, should not be ignored. Also, what should also not be ignored, are all the pastries and chocolates and cakes and croissants I splurge on when having coffee.
I have coffee pretty much every day. If I have one sweet thing (or two), with my coffee, and then I have something sweet later in the day, that’s up to 3 sweet items a day. In a week you’re counting approximately 21 items of cake/pastry/chocolate that I’m ‘treating’ myself to.
Add to that my carb-addiction, and the realisation hit me hard today.
I’m still skinny. But my tummy is starting to show. And how could it not.
So, thank you skinny black jeans. I’m not going to diet. I don’t believe in them, as I believe moderation in food and exercise are key to a healthy lifestyle, and you need to allow yourself your favourite foods and treats. But it has to be balanced. I’m not having anymore sweets with my coffee, only on days when I’m with Hubbie. Which might be 2 days a week. Also, I’m watching my carb intake. Instead of filling up a 1/3 of my plate with it, I might just reduce that to a 1/4.
I might do some at-home Zumbo too. Even if baby girl wants to join in and jump around with me, all the better. It’s not for losing weight, it’s for being healthy and also for getting her onto the right path for her future. I can’t control what she does later. But I can control what I expose her to. And that needs to be healthy and positive things that promote well being and optimum happiness for mind, body and soul.
I’ve always loved my jeans, but today I’m holding gratitude too.