#81 Cafe Solitary Coffee

Today, I had coffee – nothing unusual there, I have this most incredible of caffeinated beverages at least once a day.

Today, I had a solitary coffee  – again, not too odd. Many times I will put baby girl down for a nap and enjoy some peace with my favourite ground coffee bean.

Today, I  had café solitary coffee…

Now wait… what?

What I did today was go out by myself, sit down by myself, in a café by myself, and drink a coffee on all my lonesome… by myself.

As I thought of the idea today prior to heading out to the shops, I was excited. I had to do some bits-and-pieces shopping, and hubbie was going to stay home and nap, while baby girl also napped. I said it as a joke “I’m gonna get a coffee.” I said this because hubbie and I LOVE getting coffee out together. So when he said rather un-enviously, “why not?”

I thought

‘Yeah, why not?’

Hours later, this

2016-05-15 15.36.53

It was smooth and creamy, ideal. I sat there in a booth, facing out towards the people walking by in the shopping centre. I instructed myself: ‘Just don’t think. Be in the moment.’ I pushed thoughts of what I had to buy out of my mind, escaping the route I was planning of the shops I was hitting next.

A mum walked by with her about 5 year-old daughter, and I heard her say to the adorable blonde girl “you are so clever!”

An elderly couple dressed in their Sunday’s finest walked by, the woman’s bright pink lipstick catching my eye.

A boy trudged behind his basketball-towering Dad, and his Dad stopped and turned to him, encouraging him along.

A 40 year-old rounded man pushed a trolley as his son and daughter walked behind him, sharing a chocolate.

A lady walked hand-in hand with her daughter, and they spoke to each other without meeting each other’s eyes.

I swirled my cappuccino around with a spoon, watching the froth sink into the brown liquid, with it myself falling deep into the depths of the cup.

I was so appreciative of my time alone, with my coffee. I can’t remember the last time I sat like that – I don’t even know if it’s ever happened before. I’ve always been go-go-go, even before baby girl arrived on the scene.

It was soothing. It was peaceful. It was necessary. Time stopped. I am grateful I had that moment.

But I’ll tell you a little secret… even as I was driving up to the shops, before enjoying my café solitary coffee, I felt a little sad.

And after having my coffee, I knew my feelings were justified.

I think, I like the madness.

For some crazy reason, counting sugar sachets with baby girl as we wait for her babycino, and then helping her drink it, wiping the chocolate powder from her face, and trying to restrain her from eating all the dessert, while I get frustrated that hubbie is half-way through his latte while I’ve only taken a sip of my cap… I missed it. I missed them.

It’s insane, I know. I’d still like to occasionally have a solitary café coffee… but I’d much rather have it in several big gulps, with my loves around me, getting cranky at them for not letting me have it in peace… than actually be in peace.

That might change in the future though. They might make me crazy with their coffee presence and then I’ll be hanging for some alone time…

So maybe I’ll take my lonesome coffee shop caffeine while I can.

 

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