I am grateful for these: in particular I speak of the unfavourable ones.
I don’t know what, I don’t know why, but for some reason, despite the usual excitement and relief over impending days off, I was feeling quite sad and depressed this afternoon.
I had picked up baby girl from her Grandma’s. Baby girl was adjusting to the new arrangement fine.
I was done with work for the week.
I could sleep in tomorrow!
I had many plans and things to do and organise in preparation for baby girl’s upcoming birthday, which usually keeps me happily occupied and in anticipation.
And yet I still felt down.
I persevered with the ‘maybe’ negative thoughts that were circling in my head.
With the absence of my parents babysitting, I felt awfully removed and distant from them.
I was in a foreign situation, and still getting used to picking up baby girl from her Grandma’s.
I was tired, from all the extra driving and entertaining baby girl after picking her up.
I was just flat.
Then, a shift. Not instantaneously. Hours later. I suddenly realised ‘there is nothing to be sad about.’
How had this shift occurred? Had I unknowingly been active in my persistent thoughts of all the great things that were coming up? Had I been passive, and just grown bored of my forlorn thoughts?
I still have no idea. All I know is, I’m grateful I’m looking forward again.