#191 That I have a daughter

I know, that many, many months ago, one of my early gratitude blog posts had me grateful to my daughter. I mean, I’m always grateful to her, for a multitude of reasons: her cheeky laugh; her addictive personality; the way she looks up at you through her lashes because she knows she will get away with whatever she has just done; her clever character. I love it all. I love all of her.

But today, this is slightly different. I am grateful that I have a daughter, full stop. A daughter, in and of itself. A daughter that will care for me and look after me when I’m older, a daughter that will worry when I’m not okay, and a daughter that will try and make it all better.

I know that to be true, because already, at the beautiful age of 3, tonight she was tending to me.

For some unknown reason, my back did this weird thing today. I was pushing a trolley at the shops, and my back kind of spasm’d. And continued to throughout the day. I was pushing her in this trolley, actually groaning out loud, saying “what is happening?” It was all so random, and the spasms would actually make me tremor. It has since slightly settled, but still tonight, doing certain things, bending over or leaning a certain way, made that sudden achy sensation come back.

I really needed a break. I told Hubbie to change her into her pjs, something I do every night. She didn’t like this: she wanted Mum to do it, as per usual.

I sat sighing on the couch: “Mama is bo.” We use ‘bo’ as an expression to mean hurt. She looked at me, sussing out my face all wide-eyed, climbed up beside me and planted a big kiss on my face. Then, a huge arm-enveloping hug.

Awwww.

Then later again. She came up to me and hugged and kissed me repeatedly, studying me in the face quite seriously as I assured her I was alright: “Mama just needs a break.”

But, it was priceless. Seeing her care, her concern, her love…. awwww.

Just ‘awww.’

I feel very lucky and blessed (and grateful) to have a daughter like her. I’m grateful I have a daughter. I felt it the first night I held her in my arms, and I still feel it more than ever now.

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