I can say with much confidence, that as a Mum, I have always been the flavour of the month.
Week. Day. Hour. Second. You get what I mean. And I don’t think it’s anything special about me… it’s just a Mum thing.
A Mum thing that is even deeper, because I share a special Mummy-Daughter bond with a fellow 3 year-old cheeky monkey princess.
That’s just how it is, and I think for many (not all, but many) Mums tend to be closer to their kids because in most cases, they are the ones with them the most, raising them, teaching them, playing with them and making memories with them.
The Dads are there too, doing ALL of those things and much more. But alas, the Dads sadly miss out, since they are usually (not always, but usually) the breadwinners, and while they are bringing the bacon home, the Mums are getting all the delightful smiles and whines, hugs and tantrums, kisses and tears.
Mums cops all kinds of attitude from their young brood. And consequently they get all of their sweet love and attention too.
I feel for Hubbie. He and baby girl have a great relationship. He is the big prankster, and in typical Dad/guy mode, will deliberately rev her up, antagonise her and stir up trouble just to get a reaction, smiling at the mess he’s made, thinking ‘this will toughen her up,’ while baby girl yells running from him, screaming “no!” because he has picked her up when she didn’t want it, roughed up her hair as she was playing lego, or just plain spoken to her when she was not in the mood.
Our girl is 3 going on 13, by the way.
He thinks it’s hilarious, while I stand referee, telling the both of them to calm down, exclaiming “I have two kids! I have two kids!”
It’s fun and games, ALL DAY LONG.
She’s always run to me when hurt. In trouble. When something is bugging her. I’m the one to put her to bed, I’m the one to take her to the loo. Even when we are enraged with each other, yelling and screaming, we come back to one another within seconds, both crying and apologising profusely, kissing and hugging each other and promising we won’t ever get to that point again.
Yes, I apologise. It kills me when we argue. I know not many would agree and say I need to be tougher, and in other areas I am, but… I love our bond. She is learning love from me. And I wouldn’t change our relationship for the world.
But lately, I see her relationship with her Dad, changing. And I think it is the sweetest thing.
Just today there were three events which showed plainly how much she is relying on Dad for comfort, fun and support. She got upset when he went to have a shower, sad he was going to be missing for 20 minutes, something she always does with me; she sat on his lap as she drank her nightly milk, again something she sometimes does with me; and as I took her to bed, she had to go upstairs and kiss him goodnight one more time, and see him off for the night. As he was headed up, she followed and I called out “someone has a fan!”
It is adorable. I think it’s the best, and am not in the least bit envious. This is my husband for goodness sake. As much as a daughter should be close to her Mum, it is just as important for her to have a role model and look up to her Dad – because it is from him that she will learn how to regard herself, and it is from him she will learn how she should be treated by others. There are many important lessons the Daddy-Daughter relationship will teach a young girl, and seeing the strengthened bond tonight, makes me excited and moved, by what is to come.
I am supremely grateful. 🙂