Today I took out the saw. Both in the literal and metaphorical sense.
The first time it was intentional. I literally went to the garage, got out Hubbie’s saw, and took to the task of pruning old branches from my rose bushes with focus and determination. I knew what I had to do. I had been planning to do it for months. I took joy in the process.
Sawing. Cleansing. Removing the old to make way for the new. A new stage was emerging. Soon the dry leafless branches would be filled with green foliage and ravishing ruby red roses. 🌹
Tonight… again the same.
But instead I took out the saw… metaphorically.
This one wasn’t planned.
I didn’t go into it with purpose. It was something I had been kind of putting off.
But yet like the rose bushes, it was something that needed to happen.
I paused. Hesitated. Sure I knew what HAD to be done… I had known for years. I didn’t accept it though. Recently, this year I knew I had to take out the largest tool in my figurative shed, and rid myself of the negativity, the anger, the frustrations and deep-seeded hurts that had planted and manifested themselves in my body.
You would think letting go of such harmful things would be easy, favoured, wanted even… but often we hold onto our hurts, because they are so familiar. They are all we know. Sure moving on is most beneficial, but it requires starting again… and then there is forgiveness.
The thing that has struck me most about forgiveness is this: you don’t forgive for those that have hurt you… you forgive to lighten your heart, soul, mind and body, and give yourself the freedom to live your life unweighted by unnecessary hurts.
I always knew this… do you think it was easy to implement, in spite of the sadness?
No. This glass half-full gratitude girl has been struggling for YEARS.
But tonight, a change. I took little steps… and maybe the fruits of my labour won’t show themselves for a little while… they won’t sprout green leaves and red roses like my cherished flowers as soon… but there is sign of life.
Seedlings have been planted, and my saw has taken to the old ways with understanding and gentleness.
Yes, you can be gentle with a saw.
Really, there is to be no more.
Remember… do it for yourself. You are the one that matters. The saw is in your hands.