#1366 Moving on when shit gets hard

Ohhhhh.

It’s been one of those days.

I have been to the vet more in these past 6 weeks for our cat Mister F, then I ever have been for the 11 and a half years I had my childhood cat.

We’ve had Mister F for only 7 months now.

Lately, it feels like shit just keeps getting thrown my way.

Smile. Nod. No, things are getting better…

Shit.

Breathe in. Deep sigh. Step forward…

Shit storm.

Hold my head high. Shake the shit off…

MORE shit.

So there comes a time when you just go ‘enough is enough.’

I am going to whinge, and I am going to be cranky.

I am ALLOWED to be.

It’s been one of those days.

But then again, I laugh to myself (sarcastically of course)…

It feels like it’s been one of those weeks.

Months.

Shock horror… years even.

NOT JOKING.

Despite my hissy fits and bitch-fests about life today, I actually realised something.

I wasn’t throwing in the towel… because doing so would be so easy, right?

You stop trying. You stop hoping. You stop trying to make things better for yourself.

You just give up and… WAIL.

But I wasn’t there today. And I think despite all the crap flung my way, I felt a bit like “huh… okay.”

I wasn’t trying to pep myself out of it. I wasn’t trying to deny myself the negative feelings either. That would have been a disservice to myself, and been a bad move in the long run.

Withheld feelings are never a good thing.

But I just dealt with it. I am still, dealing with it. I think what I have come to realise is that this gratitude game takes a lot of work… even for a glass half-full gal like myself.

You can’t control everything. You can’t control life.

But you can control yourself. And sure I was no Mary Poppins today…

But also, that wouldn’t have helped me.

I guess what I am trying to say, is I am happy with my healthy reaction.

Pissed off. Cranky pants. Shit happens.

Shit happens again. And again. And again.

And so bloody what? 

Let’s move on now.

YES. Let’s move on… NOW.

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s