I’ve been trying to cultivate more yin in my life lately.
Living in the world we’re in, it ain’t easy. Especially these days. There is so much pressure on women, put on by no one but themselves.
She is all YANG.
She has to do everything.
She has to be as good as, or better than her male counterparts.
She is meant to be a wife and career woman, while also being a stay-at-home Mum, pursuing her passions in all her free moments, and dedicating her weekends to long walks/jogs, cooking healthy in bulk to set her up for the week, all while looking immaculate with her clothes ALWAYS laundered.
It is TOO MUCH.
There is no calm. There is no ease. It is go-go-go.
25 items on your to-do list, and as you’re ticking one off, off you go rushing into the next one.
There is no present moment. Things are too fast.
There is so much doing. There is so much aggression.
There is SO MUCH.
It was easier back in the cavemen era. Stay with me. Biologically, the man is the hunter, and the woman is the gatherer. She would stay at the cave with her offspring, and the man would go off in search of food.
But I mentioned biology? Well think about it. A man’s genitals are on the outside… if he was speared or harmed, his little men would just regenerate in a few months.
A women’s genitals are on the inside… what we are born with, WE ARE BORN WITH.
We were biologically made to stay protected.
The man was active.
The woman was passive.
Now we are all bloody ACTIVE.
None of this is to suggest that a woman is not meant to, or is not capable or achieving anything that a man can. We can do all that and more.
But finding that fine balance between the active, aggressive, go-go-go yang power, and looking instead for our innate inner feminine, calm, receptive, yin energy… that’s something I am working on.
I think in some way all us women are.
Look at this virus. Like, so many women I know are happy to have slowed down. Our biology tells us we go too fast, too hard, and do too much, and yet it takes the entire world practically shutting down to make us think, “huh. Maybe we were doing things all wrong.”
I diverge, I babble too much.
But today, it happened. I went way too YANG.
It happened during the first lockdown. Working from home, home-schooling… it all got too much for me, and many a time I found myself breaking down.
My first breakdown of this second lockdown happened today.
I was shitty, fuming, pacing around the kitchen like a caged animal.
Taking these loud guttural breaths, not yoga-like AT ALL.
Trying my damn-dest to not cry and have the well burst out of me.
I was trying so hard to not let things overwhelm me, but they were. I had a couple of realisations this week, and suddenly, everything was happening at once.
I had to do everything at once.
But I couldn’t do everything at once!
Finally, I spoke up. I started talking to Hubbie… and my yin appeared.
He was at ease. He was calm. He let me stop erupting, and when I was done he put it in perspective. We worked out what I had to do. What I definitely didn’t have to do. And he reminded me that this worldwide virus, was shit. It was screwing with everyone’s lives, some more than others, some more seriously than others…
So some things, in the scheme of things, could wait.
The weight that lifted off me… Here I had been, trying to make all these things happen…
When I had to let go. Just let things happen.
Remind myself of my inner yin, that part of me that longed for the slow-down, quiet, the receptive nature of life that we have all forgotten.
But in times where we forget… I was so lucky to have someone to remind me.
Sometimes I am his yin, sometimes he is mine…
And just like that, his yin, became mine again.
But let’s not forget… it’s yin, AND yang for a reason.
It’s all about balance.