#1174 10 years of the 3rd of May

Today Hubbie and I sat upstairs in the sunshine, our lunches on our laps.

“What were we doing this time 10 years ago?” he asked me.

I put down my plate of leftover lasagne to pick up my phone. 1:22pm.

“We were at church! We were getting married about now.”

♥♥♥

Hubbie was working today, and sure we didn’t have an opportunity to do much outside of that… but we could still sit outside in the sun when he came home for lunch?

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Which we did. We made the most of the situation, and our lunch date was going to happen no matter what, even if it had to happen on our balcony.

10 years is a big deal.

You wouldn’t think the newsagency thought so. Nooo. No cards for your partner signalling a decade of wedded happiness. They all started at 25, I noticed today, and internally, I had to disagree.

10 was still important.

Of course it was! It is a milestone. A decade. A decade of happiness, joy, fulfillment, as well as sadness, disappointment, frustration… and we have stuck it out. We have stuck through it all, and today our lives are so much fuller and richer because of it.

I love him more today than I did 10 years ago, and I think that means we are doing well.

Every other anniversary we’ve had has felt like a little “yay.” But this one definitely feels like “YAY!” Shouting from the rooftops type yay… or should I make that the balcony…?

Feeling happiness, love, and all the good feels today. Happy Anniversary to us. 🙂

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

#1152 Play date at a new Play centre

School holiday time, means catch-up with the regulars time.

And by no means did we go to a ‘new’ play centre… but it was still novel to us.

And this time, there were 3. Bab girl had as much fun playing with her cousin her age, as they chased each other up and down the indoor play area, as she did doting over her little cousin and letting her help prepare in the play-pretend kitchen.

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It was a great day. Plenty to see and do for the kids, many structured activities to literally move through…

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And we stayed over 3 hours! Evidence of the fun had by ALL.

I love, that these girls will grow up continuing to make these beautiful memories… and so ’til next time… ♥♥♥

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#965 The three day

It’s 3am.

And it’s been a day of threes all day.

I noticed it when I took this photo… sometime after 3pm.

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Three oranges. My nailpolish. My prosecco. And that beautiful tangerine flower there in the background.

We also had three functions today. A wedding, a birthday… and a birthday.

And you know how they say things come in threes… good and bad…

Well we got through today, in one piece… almost. We are not quite home, but the threes we had today, and which we attended, were of a successful, accomplished nature.

Let’s hope we get to sleep more than 3 hours… zzzz.

#674 3 year-old kinder – Tick

And just like that. A year almost gone.

And a school year gone with it.

I can’t believe how quickly the end of the year has arrived. More so that it signals the end of 3 year-old kinder for baby girl. Today I watched the 4 year-old kinder group at their special black-robed, square-hat graduation in lead up to primary school, while the younger group, including baby girl, watched on at what awaited them next year.

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A year already! It felt insane. My girl was growing up too fast. It wasn’t fast enough in those early, early days, of sleepless nights, odd schedules, intense confusion about everything… and yet now each day Hubbie came home from work and said to her incredulously “did you grow again?” and she would stand against the wall to show how tall she really was.

I am grateful that she completed this year of kindergarten, through all the ups and downs… and next year will be the real deal, 4 year-old kindergarten.

15 hours to spare a week? What will I do with myself?

(:):):))

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at baby girl’s increasing independence. Maybe for now, I’ll try the upward smile…

 

#492 Park Days no. 2

It was a very good day today. I was emotional, teary, and super-proud as punch as the kindergarten teacher told me how well baby girl was doing during her mid year parent/teacher mini-interview.

She is 3, in a predominantly 4 year old class. Not intended – that’s just how it happened. There weren’t enough 3s for a class of their own so they separated them into the 3 classes there are per week.

Every child has their own personal talents, and their own personal challenges. Baby girl does not differ. And yet, to hear such beautiful and encouraging feedback, about her positive self-esteem, sharing nature, ability to play well in a group, and to listen in group story-time, well…

IT MADE MY HEART SOAR.

As we were leaving the kindergarten, heading over to the park beside it that she hadn’t yet been to, I felt like I wanted to give her the world. I know I do already, but to hear such happy and positive news, I felt like I wanted to give her everything.

I know I already do. I was just so bloody proud.

So I pulled her aside and said “baby girl, look at Mummy – I am so, so proud of you. Mummy loves you.”

She smiled and then charged forward towards the playground she has been eyeing off for 6 months.

And so, we had a splendid park day.

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And for anyone thinking their Mum-kid relationship today was nothing like the above scenario, I’ll provide you with the humbling addition that we ended the day crying, exhausted, and angrily threatening “no book!”

Balance. It’s key. Still proud though 😉

#481 The Trampoline

I mean, of course I was going to be grateful we had bought baby girl a trampoline, right?

Right???

Well….. (breaths out) let’s discuss the last week.

Firstly, last Sunday as we finished putting the ‘thing’ up over 3 hours, Hubbie said to me “I never had a trampoline as a kid,” and then proceeded to jump as high as he could in the middle of the mat while baby girl and I bounced around crazily around him.

“I know, right?” I said. “it’s like we’re fulfilling our childhood dreams through her!”

So bloody cool. When you give your kids things you never had as a child, you feel more than proud… you feel fulfilled. Special. You feel like you’ve come full circle, and now that you have a 10 foot trampoline in your backyard, you are somehow complete.

I had also thought, now that her day naps were mostly gone, that the trampoline would give me that little bit of ‘me’ time while baby girl went crazy outside, prepping herself for the most awesomest of awesome sleeps that night. I was like ‘this will be great, I can write again.’

Then on Monday, she was jumping… and wanted me to jump with her.

On Tuesday, I sent her out there on her own, and yet again – she wanted me to jump with her.

Wednesday I started work late, and sure enough, as Hubbie was checking out our gutters around the side of the house that morning, she was pleading with me: “please please!”

Now, I don’t know about you, YOU being any other person out there, or if YOU is a fellow Mum or parent, but I ALWAYS have shit to do around the house. Cleaning, food prep, washing, do this, sort that, we still have boxes here, catch up on writing, grocery shopping, and the list goes on and on and on. I don’t really have time for jumping. I wish that was all I had to worry about – how much bloody jumping I can cram into one day. But I don’t. I start with a rough list, and if I’m lucky I complete it. I don’t usually have time for much more.

Today, AGAIN. Now on all these other occasions I complied, and jumped with her for a little. I told her I was cold, sick, had to go to work, whatever. And all those times I wasn’t lying. But I also told her that she had to jump on her own – we had bought this trampoline for her to jump, not for Mummy to jump!

(Just thinking those words again makes me realise how lonely that thought is. Jumping alone).

I was going to try and sneak in some writing while she watched TV in the other room. And of course as soon as the laptop was fired up, round the corner she came, saying “Mama?”

She wanted to jump. It was after 5, and darkness was falling upon us. She only had a little bit of time left, and quite frankly I was concerned she would rope me into it.

“You can jump, BUT… Mummy is staying inside, alright? I’m not jumping. Just you’re jumping. Mummy is sick, she has a sore throat, she’s cold… ok? You understand me?”

She nodded obediently at me, just as she had every other time before eventually pleading with me to jump with her.

She headed out and I turned back to my laptop, and after a minute or so, she started to intermittently call out.

“Ma! Ma!”

It was more sing-song than anything, so I ignored it. But soon she came to the door again, knocking loudly, and opened it so I could see her.

“Jump?”

“NO!” I had had it UP TO HERE (the sky). I went over to the door and locked it behind her so she couldn’t go back out. “Baby girl you just don’t listen, you can’t always have your way!” I seriously was feeling under the weather, and besides, this girl needed to learn rules! This was not on, we couldn’t cave in every time she wanted something.

I headed back to the laptop with her throwing a tantrum behind me, yelling, and then crying in a pleading tone. As I sat back at the desk, she came from behind, and poked her head forward from the side, trying to get me to look away from the laptop.

I turned to her. These big, brown, pleading eyes, tainted with tears, a hopeful face, parted mouth, wishing and praying that Mum would not be upset, and Mum would come around and jump.

Fuck Me.

How could I say no? I followed her out and strictly told her I would stay seated on the mat while she jumped around me – I wouldn’t jump myself.

(What follows are some highly-skilled and photogenic shots baby girl and I took of each other)

And yet it was pretty fun. She jumped around me, into my lap repeatedly, and I ‘ate her up’ with kisses. We had an absolute ball, and then it turned dark, and it was time to go inside.

So in answer to my question… yes. Yes I am grateful we got her a trampoline… I just don’t know what we’ve created in the process.

A jump-a-holic, stubborn, cheeky and clever girl who will go to any lengths to get what she wants.

We’re in trouble.

 

#473 A Mini Me

Having your own kid is super cool. Apart from the loving them until the depths of the earth, reaches of the galaxy, and ends of time thing… it is also awesome, just knowing that they are a version of you.

They have your DNA. They may look like you. Their hands may be slender like yours. Their eyes the same brown, face the same heart shape, and laugh the same adorable cackle you yourself used to have at 3.

These things are kind of out of your control, just as much as they are out of control for your child. They can’t choose their looks or their predisposition to certain things.

But what they CAN control is themselves. And when they choose to do and be like you…

It’s pretty damn cool.

It’s all in the little things. As it always is. But she will want to wear a dress, when I wear a dress. She sees owls on my pyjamas – she wants owls on her pyjamas.

I’m brushing my teeth, and suddenly, because I didn’t hound her this time, she is reaching out and grabbing for her toothbrush, and we stand there side by side, looking at ourselves in the mirror as foam spills from our mouths, grinning.

She finds me putting on make up before going out, and she is then asking me for make up too. I give her some glittery not-obvious stuff, and she applies it to her skin with such careful precision, yet at the end I can’t even see anything there. I smile broadly and tell her she was beautiful to begin with, but “good job!”

I sing to Ricky Martin and Prince – she bops and hums along.

I drink coffee – she drinks babycino.

🙂

Today, she did the cutest thing. During our daily coffee break after lunch, we were seated at the table and enjoying our little time together. She’ll have her babycino and some other sweet, usually some chocolate, while some cake or chocolate too will accompany my cappuccino. As we sat there, I brought the coffee mug to my lips, my left hand naturally going to rest on my hip, and the action made me aware of the hilarity of it, because in our high school years bestie would often be sitting at a desk with one hand on it, the other on her hip. It was funny, because she was sitting – there was no need to put a hand, or any hand on her hips. It was such a standing pose, and here, one hand always found its way there.

Baby girl must have realised my action as I did, because as she drank her babycino, her eyes skimmed over my arm on hip, and she immediately dropped one hand from her cup, and placed it on her hip.

Just like me.

It was a little gesture, but it was also the grandest one.

Just like Mum. She wanted to be just like Mum, whether Mum’s action made sense or not.

Of course, I then dropped it, telling baby girl to hold her cup with two hands (never-ending Mum worry of spilt food/drink taking over) but of course, she wasn’t going to listen to me now, was she?

The hand stayed on her hip, and I let it be. I love my girl 🙂