Kinda a bad/good one, but I’m hoping the fact of it being 365 days later, means it’s coming to an end.
Because it’s now been a whole year since I unfortunately embarked on a very chronic and painful health issue.
Approaching this day I was freaking out a bit, anxiety taking hold, thinking of what I’ve gone through, and weirdly, would it happen again, on the exact same day? It may seem silly and highly unrealistic, but the mind goes to bad places when it’s been given not-so-nice surprises.
But, I survived, as I have the whole year.
I gotta say, I’m not too much smarter than when I started. Maybe only slightly.
I do however know a lot more about holistic and alternative health, and I know for sure that it’s a life-long journey, not a one-fix treatment thing either.
Mostly I’ve learnt I’m resilient, more so than I ever thought possible.
Still, I feel like this year passing, is a full circle moment, where I’m finally putting a lid on, closing the case of this truly uncertain and horrible time of my life where it felt as if I was thrown into the middle of a cyclone.
I much prefer still, clear waters, and know I’m going to have to meditate on them to make sure they are always near.
I like reading up on my horoscope. And though I take it all with a grain of salt, when my monthly one said that the first half of the Leo month would be, frankly put, CRAP, well I started to see it everywhere.
And hey, don’t blame me, it’s not Leo month’s fault! It’s all in the planets, and their alignment. 🌙☀
It’s THEIR fault. 🤣
But just as the horoscope promised, the second half of the Leo season would end on a super sweet note.
I think the winds of change are already here.
I had a full on start to the day with work, and having planned a park date with baby girl, as soon as I was finished we ran out the door, got some takeaway coffee and babycino, some sweets, and started walking to the beach end of Main Street.
But, other than the pleasant, still, sunny air… another surprise.
Someone had paid the coffee forward. Free drinks for us. 💖
The park was beautiful, and it was so evident the atmospheric change. Unlike other Wintry days, there was barely any wind to be felt.
Interesting too, that 5 years ago on this day, we took a leap of faith, into our own wind of change.
We purchased our house exactly 5 years ago!
So much change. Sea change, the wind has changed leaving Winter slowly bidding a goodbye, and the Leo season seems to be changing for the better too.
To think that I was barely two when this concert happened, and here I am, 36 years later… the songs, moves, inflections of tone and unbridled enthusiasm etched into my memory, that’s how much I’ve watched it.
It’s not just me either. Hubbie and baby girl also know parts of it, very, very well. Baby girl knows him by name, Freddie Mercury, and I’m teaching her the other band member names, so that she can appreciate the genius all across the band, not just in the charismatic front-man.
Of course, I can only be talking about royalty. Queen. 👑
I put the set on tonight after dinner. Approximately 20 minutes, 6 songs, in front of 70,000 or so people, the wider audience, THE WORLD.
It’s truly a masterpiece. Back in 1985, the band donned light coloured tops and shirts, and casually strolled onto the stage, though still pumped, to make music history.
I consider it, one of the best live performances ever, and biased or not, many others would agree.
If you have a chance and haven’t seen it yet, feast your eyes on the performance. Type in Queen Live Aid, you will get to witness some truly musical powerhouse genius.
And if you have already watched it like me… well, there’s no day like today to get yourself reacquainted.
It sits nicely amongst other fave Winter days, and the unifying theme is all about hope. Hope, and happiness.
So, what are my fave Winter days? I never thought you’d ask.
June 1st is first. There is so much dread and anxiety approaching the coldest season of the year, that honestly having the day tick over to Winter is a RELIEF. The waiting is over, and most of the time, it ain’t that bad.
And also, this year was really not that bad at all. You know what’s bad? Covid, and LOCKDOWNS. But Winter? Nah. Chuck on a jacket and go outside with your freedom.
June 10th. This is my sister’s birthday, and so it comes to reason I love it because she’s one of my favourite people. 💖💖
The end of June is great. We are a month down of Winter! July 15th is a similar reason, in that it’s halfway through Winter, and then end of July, we’re two months done peeps! I consider August HALF-Winter, LOL.
And speaking of August, there is mine and baby girl’s birthdays, including that of everyone I know in my life, pretty much, almost. And I say time and time again, come our birthday, and Spring is in the air, I SWEAR. I will fight this to the end guys.
So, what’s so spesh about June 21st?
Two things, really. Kinda three.
Our engagement anniversary. 13 years ago we had a terrific celebration where our families and friends united for one amazing, joy-filled, hopeful night. Full of happiness, dance, laughter, and great memories.
The second reason is it’s the Winter solstice. The shortest day of the year! So from here on out, the days will incrementally start getting longer, oh-so-small at first but it will be there.
An aside from the Winter solstice is the meaning behind it. Our number three. The spiritual significance of the day has to do with the dark making way for the increasing lighter days, with renewal and rebirth both major themes.
I absolutely love this, and so every year I look forward to it with excitement.
I was lucky in that I had the opportunity to engage in self-care on such a day, a day when your intentions and what you put out into the Universe is paramount. I walked, I worked out. I had coffee, made a warm breakfast. I read, I wrote, I sat in the sun, and I also chilled, like watched TV, so, so peacefully.
It is a day of hope, of promise, and after losing a lot of hope for so long, I am feeling like I am starting, very slowly, to gain it back.
And this winter solstice is therefore so timely. 🌞
It was nice to go out on a Tuesday night, when we usually don’t. It’s midweek, and tonight it was cold…
But despite baby girl having school tomorrow, Hubbie and I don’t have work, hence why we chose to go out tonight for our anniversary dinner.
We were there just over an hour, tops. Not many people around.
We had drinks. We toasted. And then we sat and really listened to each other… baby girl with what she did at school today… Hubbie and I shared anecdotes… and as I ate my meal, I really took the time to be present, engage with what was happening then, NOW, with my family who I love so much.
It was simple, but so, so beautiful.
I understand why they call it the present. If you take the time to stop and appreciate, it’s honestly the greatest gift in the world. 💖💖💖
Life has been so busy lately. So busy, that we’ve forgotten a lot of who we are.
May has come around too fast. And another Monday, come and gone.
It was only last week when I went “damn. That came fast.”
Our ‘special’ day.
Not having the time to celebrate when you’re ‘meant to’ does not mean jack.
Take the commercial days, of Valentine’s Day, hell even throw in Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
They’re all the same.
We’re told as a society that we have to do something, we must do something to celebrate it, show off for social media, friends and family…
It is lovely to celebrate, appreciate loved ones in our life, and I’m not saying that I don’t do it, personally…
But you should celebrate your special people, ALL THE DAYS of your life. Not just when the catalogues and ads tell you too.
Same as for other days.
Days like, an anniversary. 💖💖
Our anniversary fell on a Monday this year. Work, school, swimming, groceries, phone calls, emails, basketball game, routine routine routine… it was all too much. It was a fairly uneventful day, and that’s ok, because we share our love for each other on other days, in other ways, and it doesn’t really matter if it’s not on this EXACT day.
I’m not trying to convince myself, honest. 😂 In fact, we are going out tomorrow night, and going away for a couple of nights soon too.
Let there be love on all the days. Let there be hugs, kisses, displays of affection, cards and presents, snuggles and all kinds of lovey-dovey things, on all the days.
Not just when it is deemed special, by society, by milestone, or by date.
I had a really lovely night… sans Hubbie. He was out playing basketball.
Baby girl and I had dinner together, then we sat on the couch and she read school books to me.
Then we watched Masterchef, and we never watch Masterchef. 😂
Hubbie came home, and then eventually we sat on the couch as a family, to do one special thing together, something small to highlight our ‘special’ day…
We looked through our official photos. 😍
Baby girl and I put on the special photo gloves, and she helped me leaf through the pages, as we all reminisced, and she learnt and discovered.
And I couldn’t have thought of a better way to end the night.
You know, 25 has always been a special number for me, being the date that Hubbie and I first got together, all those years ago.
But having been restricted within 25 kms of our home as of late, has been just an extension of the lockdown we’ve been living for months now.
Because all our friends and family are outside of those 25, the recent loosening of restrictions has been much of a muchness.
But today? Today I eagerly watched the announcement by our Premier Dan Andrews, and although it was fairly expected, given our recent brilliant track record of 0 new coronavirus cases for 9 days straight already, when he actually said those words…
That the 25kms would be LIFTED.
That the state was one again.
I unexpectedly, broke down a little.
Baby girl looked at me concerned, giving me a pat on the back.
Today, I did some washing. Hung it in our backyard.
I baked some muffins. Scents of banana and cocoa filled the walls within our home.
I ripped out old plants and dying branches from flowers that desperately needed a good prune. I tidied it up…
To make our home look more pretty.
And it was all the more convenient and timely, that I did these random, but interconnected odd jobs, as the theme unifying it all was that of the home.
Tending to the home.
Using the home.
Filling up the home.
Because on this day 4 years, we bought this home.
I made the winning bid.When I think of that day, I have to shake my head in disbelief sometimes. It was 4 years ago, but many parts of that day are still so clear to me, even now.
I remember the well wishes I received the morning of the auction by some amazing family and friends.
I remember driving up with my Mum and baby girl… and being so nervous, that both Mum and I had to stop at a servo to pee on the way.
I remember arriving 15 minutes into the inspection before auction. I remember the street being FULL of cars. I remember nosy neighbours walking off, having had enough of a sticky beak, not caring to see who would get the house.
I remember NOT ONE auctioneer approaching me as I wandered through the house for the final time before the dum dum daaaa! moment.
I remembered my sister seeing the view from upstairs and saying “it’s a great house” but saying it in a way like “shit, it will be competitive.”
I remember my bro-in-law saying similar words, saying he’d overheard a lot of interested parties talking about it.
I remember all of us standing outside in the front yard, with the strong Winter wind blowing around.
I remember baby girl running around the yard as the main auctioneer started his spiel, referring to her in his opening monologue.
I knew then, that that was a GOOD SIGN.
I remember him motioning to the water views behind us, while I secretly cursed him – “don’t remind them of the views!”
I remember him saying that the winning person could celebrate on the main street afterwards at one of the many cafes, and the desire was so strong in me then, because we had been to those cafes and those restaurants. We had walked those streets, we had holidayed here, and we had done our research.
We were ready.
I remember the auction beginning, and Mum standing near baby girl, watching her run around while mumbling under her breath that the price was going too high.
I remember my sister positioned closer to the nature strip, creating a barrier so that baby girl couldn’t escape.
And I remember my bro-in-law standing behind me, ready to whisper words of advice.
I remember staying quiet for a long time.
I remember the TOTAL SATISFACTION (this is SO clear to me) when I put up my hand, and made my first bid.
The auctioneer looked at me, and his expression conveyed something else.
I had come in later. He knew I meant business.
And I remember how when I made the second, third bid, one of the agents made a beeline to me, thinking he could now help me.
Huh. Where were you guys INSIDE the house?
I had my own agent behind me 😉
I remember holding that winning bid… and the auctioneer urging others to jump in… while I begged in my head “please no, just let it be over…”
Then, IT WAS OVER.
There was clapping. There was cheering. People around me were genuinely happy.
And we were over the moon!
Inside, a familiar face! I saw the agent I had been talking to leading up to that day… He had been hiding out with the owners, of course.
I signed contracts with shaky hands, and snapped a photo of the interior, with the price tag, to Hubbie.
HE WAS OVER THE MOON.
After celebratory photos with the auction board, we headed to the main street.
Mum, sis, baby girl and I had our celebratory coffees and treats.
And when we got home hours later, Hubbie was on cloud nine.
I remember all this so fondly, and I don’t think I can ever forget such a momentous day for us.
A day where we realised our big dream of sea changing, a day when we made it.
And so when baby girl snapped a sunset from my phone this evening (I’ve trained her well) I didn’t think much of it…
‘Til I previewed it later.
It was blurry. Much like a memory can be. But there was that lawn. I could still see that sign in my head.
The guy who was standing to the left of me… the two ladies on my right. The family of four who I thought of often, comprised of a couple with their two young girls, who walked off half-way through the auction…
I hope they found their dream house, just as we found ours.
Now there were different plants, different colours, and different people coming in and out…
And 4 years on, there’s no place we’d rather be. 💖🏡🌅🥰
We’re relying on technology so much nowadays, being separated from one another physically, and so it brought me much joy to see facebook spring forth a memory this morning.
I mean, I knew what day it was, I’m kinda counting the days to August (with nothing to really look forward to at this stage, let’s face it, but ‘eternal dreamer’) so I did realise it was the anniversary of our dear baby girl’s christening, from 6 years ago.
WOW. 6 years ago. Photos, with family and friends. My gorgeous baby girl, actually, a baby girl! Not 6 going on 13 as she wishes she were. Even a video was there, and I could hear the music in the background, was reminded of the joy of the event, and tried to imagine what it’d be like to be amongst people like that again…
No fear. All love. Happiness, laughter, good times.
I hope this virus passes soon, for everyone’s sakes. And then when facebook brings up 2020 memories in years to come, we’ll look back on all the masks, isolation woes, and toilet paper wars, shaking our hands and wondering if it was all a dream…
Or a nightmare. In the meantime, let’s look back on the memories, and look towards making new ones, hopefully soon…
Something freaky was going on. I was unhinged. Emotional. A wreck. So much to do, and yet complete unwillingness to do anything at all.
Was someone sticking needles into a mini-me? Was it Karma? Some huge Universal lesson I was being taught?
Was it just the fact I am sick of this super long, super strong, superman-type cold I’ve had for the past 3 months?
Is iso finally making me crack, true and proper?
It’s one of those things, that I just don’t know. I may never know.
But there is ONE THING I KNOW for certain.
Today is the shortest day. June 21st.
It is the day of the winter solstice in the southern hemisphere.
And also, the anniversary of our engagement sooo many years ago.
As soon as I discovered in 2016, that the winter solstice fell on our engagement anniversary, I was intrigued.
Firstly, I knew it was nota coincidence, because I don’t believe in those.
A day marking the end of the old, and the rebirth of great beginnings and hope, to fall on our engagement day… it was NOT a coincidence.
I am compelled to write and remind people about it every year, and I feel like my winter solstice journey in life is only just beginning.
The day that the southern hemisphere is tilted furthest away from the sun, hence getting the least amount of sunshine, is the day that we call this, the shortest day.
At a time of the greatest darkness, it can be understood then that symbolically it is a time of rebirth, rejuvenation and self-reflection.
Through darkness, comes light. Through trying times, springs hope.
And even though there is a lag between the shortest day, and us experiencing the coldest winter days yet, because of our hemisphere here still cooling (yep, get ready folks) we can start to set intentions and make space for what we want in our lives, for this next chapter.
For this next chapter, of slowly, oh so slowly, increasing LIGHT.
Which brings me back to the beginning. Today was crappy. Many of you may be having shitty days like me. Shitty weeks. Hell it’s been months for me (and yet for some more of you, years).
Coronavirus has not helped.
But let’s be kind to ourselves. Let’s try. Try to accept this difficult time for what it is. And that is, a massive growing and learning experience.
The rebirth is here. Things are going to get better, they have to.
Winter is going to kick us hard, sure, but honestly, look how bad this year has been already.