#870 Winter Sunset

Do you know there are people who think it is pointless to move to the seaside, unless you are a surfer?

Do you know that this very sentiment has been expressed to us, since our move?

“Do you swim everyday?”

The haughtiness drips.

My personal response?:

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You don’t need to swim everyday when you have a view like that.

There are many ways to enjoy living by the sea. Yes, one of them is to swim in it. Other things can be the calming effect of just looking at the water; walking by the water; and taking your daughter to the park where the water looms at you from below.

There’s a meditative aspect. It is soothing. It is spiritual. The beachside locale usually means a community feel is present, a real authentic and meaningful connection in all that you do, and the places that you go.

And of course, there are the water views such as the above. Living by the water you can be assured that there will be some kind of spectacular sunrise/sunset visible in the horizon, and fortunately for me, on this side of Port Phillip Bay, it is the latter. I am not a morning person.

In the warmer months we swim in it, and in the colder months we appreciate it.

That is called BALANCE.

And it is striking to me that at this, the coldest time of the year, the sunsets have been beautifully drawn and more amazing than what I would have imagined them to be at Winter time.

And that my friends, is called WONDER.

#841 What he said no. 3

I walked out of the lounge room later this evening. Hubbie called out after me.

“Can you bring back my phone? I wanna read your gratitude blog.”

:):):)

This made me smile for more than simply egotistic reasons. I had told him recently that I was frustrated. I had no one to talk to, share with, and bounce feedback off about my blogs, my writings… it was making me feel antsy, disenchanted, and lonely.

Sure, there are people out there that read them. But I am realistic. Unless you are a writer yourself, you don’t tend to passionately follow these kinds of pursuits to the point where you are offering feedback and analytical critique. It is just not your natural forte.

And I get it. Really I do. But when I see that my sad stories get a rise out of people, I have to wonder…

Why do you ask me about something bad, rather than maybe, how I came to do this in the first place? Aren’t you interested in my passion? Or is it only interesting when life goes wrong for me?

It’s a sad day when you feel as if you aren’t getting the support you need amongst supposedly ‘supportive’ followers.

I told Hubbie I needed to get out there and network. I had to meet other like-minded individuals. I had to get these feelings and thoughts and ideas out of me, and into a sphere of people who would nod their head in understanding, rather than stare at me like I’d just said “goo goo ga ga.”

“Talk to me!” Hubbie had said earlier today. “The way I tell you about my cars and music stuff, you can tell me anything you want about your writing.”

And not only is that invitation open, but his new routine will be actually reading my blog posts.

Let’s see how long this lasts ๐Ÿ˜‰

And even if it doesn’t, just the fact that I am supported by someone who truly has my back…

It is priceless.

#808 The day is over/don’t listen to no one

Have you ever avoided something, or anguished over a certain future unavoidable event, to the point that it made you unwell? Stressed beyond belief? Incapable of rational thought?

Has anyone ever told you not to go to a certain place, because their perception of it was simply base and unfavourable?

Well this happened to us, and we still went. And it was the best time of our lives.

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Port Douglas, Mossman Gorge. One of the most beautiful places on earthย โ™ฅ

Has anyone ever spoken badly about someone else to you, and painted a pretty crappy and shit picture of them to the point that you really didn’t wanna know the person?

Well, yes, this has happened to me too. Fortunately I give people the benefit of the doubt, in doing so giving certain naysayers no power with their hurtful words. Some of the most rewarding and happiest relationships come from listening to your heart and not taking heed of someone else’s words from their sad and displeasing life.

Has anyone ever told you about a bad experience they had… and said “it hurt like hell.”?

Well, yes. Yes this happened to me. And this person didn’t know at the time, but I was due to go through this exact thing. And it happened to me, today.

There is no greater realisation than when we discover that other people’s words, are just that… WORDS. Their experiences and points of view can be completely accurate and factual for themselves, and yet they can be so far from true for US, that it can be difficult to distinguish if at times, both parties went through and saw the same thing.

Went to the same holiday location.

Spoke to that same person.

Had the same awkward procedure.

Opinions can vary wildly, yet be completely accurate for both.

I was reminded of all of this today when I was delivered unscathed from just this procedure. I had built myself into the worst state possible, that I questioned why I was reacting and dealing with it all so horribly. Why? I had gone through worse! Was it the build-up? The not knowing what would happen? The horrible and endless possible scenarios?

Or was is the “it hurt like hell” remark?

I should know by now, really I should. This post is not just a gratitude post about all of my stresses about this day ending, but it’s a reflection and appreciation that all of our personal experiences, of people and places and things, vary so wildly, that honestly, it is perfectly okay if none of them are ever the same.

And that’s okay. That should make us feel better, not worse.

Honestly, NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER take anyone’s words at face value, please don’t. They are them.

And you are YOU.

And today, I was ME.

 

#758 Her encouraging nature

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See that light? You can see the setting sun creating a circle, a halo, far on the water of Port Phillip Bay.

There is a reason why I say that.

Today I did the usual at kinder drop off. I hung around while baby girl settled in, watching her paint, observing the kids around her, looking around while parents came, kissed their little ones goodbye, and then left.

Still, I stayed behind.

A boy saw baby girl painting, and decided he too would paint at the easel next to her. On the smock went, and he reached over to grab a paintbrush sticking out of a cup of blue paint.

He painted somewhat haphazardly, not really sure of what he was doing, glancing over at baby girl, while also distractedly looking around the classroom to see what else was happening. A few minutes passed, and while baby girl was carefully painting with her fourth colour, he took off his smock, and walked off, leaving his painting hanging there.

Baby girl, suddenly noticing his absence, leant over to his easel. (It was a plain piece of paper, with a few streaks of blue. I know kinder art is very preliminary, but this didn’t resemble much of anything).

And viewing his artwork, she said happily “oh, he did a great job!”

My heart SOARED. No, my daughter was not misguided. She was not ignorant in her paintings. She was not daft, and didn’t know the difference between what was good, and what was not.

She had compassion. She held encouragement in her soul.

It was something that lacked in others. It was something that lacked in a similar girl her age, who had seen baby girl drawing a picture at a party, and said to her out loud, in front of me, after I had complimented baby girl on her “great work!” –

“I don’t like it, that doesn’t look nice.”

You see, it’s not about the artwork. Rather it is about the character. For me, it is not whether baby girl turns out to be a Picasso or not. For me, it is about whether she has a heart or not.

I was initially worried when baby girl received that negative comment from that girl. I was worried that the girl’s negativity, rudeness, and mean manners, would rub off on baby girl, and turn her usual bright happy and smiley soul, into a cranky, angry, and negative one.

But then when she said about that boys picture, with the same encouragement as those she looks up to “great job!” I knew we had done something right.

Like a light, encouraging Hope, amidst the darkness.

And here, for arts sake, baby girl against the sunset. Hubbie reckons the power lines kill the photo. But I know what makes it ๐Ÿ™‚

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#754 5 out of 6 ain’t too bad

I have already driven 5 hours today.

Off to the other side of town with baby girl for an appointment: 1 hour 20 minutes

Then to my parents place for a few hours: 20 minutes

Back in the car to drive back home (now through Long Weekend traffic, general bullshit inefficient drivers, and car accidents where rubberneckers couldn’t help but slow down to look at a collision that WASN’T in their way): 2 hours and 20 minutes

Back in the car after a 5 minute stopover at home, now to drive to work: 1 hour and 20 minutes

5 HOURS.

And that’s not even ALLย of it. Because I still have to drive an hour home later on… at the terrific-ly beautiful time of 3-4am.

Yep. All you Aussie peeps will be dreaming your sweet little eyelashes off, and I will be driving down the freeways, getting home as late as possibly 5am.

YAY! for me (not sarcastic, at all).

Seriously though, what the hell have I got to be grateful for here?

Well…

  1. One hard day like this is almost down, with only one to go
  2. I am in a good mood despite racking up so many k’s todays
  3. And I have driven 5, out of 6 hours. I’m almost there.

So close.

I am happy, so very happy, despite all of this, and being happy while at work, amidst busy days, and so so so soย SO much driving….???

It makes me even more happy. And grateful. ๐Ÿ™‚

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#710 Secret good news

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Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

My gratitude today comes from the happiness of another.

Because you see, someone pulled me over this afternoon, and said with a broad wave of their hands “I’m pregnant!”

And I stared at her in shock and awe, and ultimate critique, trying to work out if what she was saying was actually true.

“Are you serious?” I squinted at her.

“Yes.”

“You’re not joking?” I asked solemnly.

“No.”

“You’re pregnant?” I was now incredulous.

“Yes.”

I gasped in disbelief and happiness, giving her a big hug and proceeding to say “oh my God,” and “you’ve blown me away” about 100 times through hurried, intense and excited conversation, for the next 10 minutes.

I was in absolute shock and wonder, the epitome of a babbling idiot as I wrangled with my thoughts amongst it all.

“OH MY GOD!”

Because this wasn’t only pregnancy news…

Not only was this friend, pregnant…

But she was a friend, who I didn’t think was trying to get pregnant.

Also, she was a friend, who was in a serious relationship, yet I hadn’t thought pregnancy was in the immediate future for them.

She was a friend, who was also, a work colleague.

And this work colleague, was in a relationship with a man that not many people knew about…

This work colleague and her partner had kept their relationship under wraps, especially at work…

Because her partner, worked with her. With us!

OH THE DRAMA!

I couldn’t take it! I was dying. Can you understand why I was dying?! I had already known about the relationship early on, as she has confided in me many things, just as I have to her over the years, and she was one of the first at work who I told that I was pregnant, all those years ago… and now, she was telling ME.

That she was pregnant. Oh my God.

I was over the moon for her. She deserved it.

No, really. She deserved it.

She really, truly deserved this amazing blessing, because in recent years she had had a few very hard spells.

I had felt for her on so many an occasion, but didn’t know how to help. All I could do, was listen, and try to lend some advice.

And as all good friends do, bitch and whinge and moan with her.

My faith in Karma and life, is further cemented by this news. I don’t know why bad things happen. I don’t know why there are bullies, and aggressors; subsequently I don’t know why there are people who are harassed and victimised. And I certainly don’t understand how when someone turns to you for help, you can turn to the side of evil, and ignore their plea, instead going with the majority, with the laugher, with the mockers and the sheep and the boring old FLOCK.

But this news today… it is a LONG time coming.

My work colleague has been through so much. And this news is just proof to me, that eventually, your deeds catch up to you, whether they be good, or bad.

Her good deeds have paid her dividends. She got herself the guy, and now she got herself a baby ๐Ÿ™‚

And for the ‘others?’ There is no greater revenge than success and achievement.

Did she go out to seek retribution, no. But the beautiful thing is, the Universe evened it ALL out for her.

:):):)

#675 Helping Hubbie no.2

I was rushing around the house 20 minutes before leaving for work, trying to organise some Christmas treats to bring in.

Usually I bake gingerbread men and spread the Christmas cheer. I still had tradies in the kitchen yesterday, so freshly baked gingerbread was NOT going to happen.

I got baby girl popping in chocolates in little bags for me, while I started writing on the little cards for each of my work colleagues.

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15 minutes now. Crap. I still had to eat.

A pleading look, a sweet question, and one fast Hubbie later, and I was eating this:

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He looks out for me and I love him so much for it. I asked him to make me a cheese and tomato sandwich, and he threw in some cucumber and ham and sprinkled salt and pepper all Masterchef-style, and bam! lunch done.

I drove off 5 minutes late with a bag full of individually-wrapped and personalised Christmas chocolates, but I didn’t care because my belly was happy.

๐Ÿ™‚

And on a side note… I (well baby girl) wrapped 13 lots of choc for my work buddies… though I really would have wanted to do less. And why? Because Christmas. Though there are people I am closer to than others, and some that I feel are NOT deserving of treats as are others… I just couldn’t omit certain people simply because of our work relationship or what I think about them most of the time.

And so then I thought, ‘if I can ignore the crap for one festive day, how about we ignore it for the other 364 days of the year?’

???

Food for thought…