#1288 Planting synopses and seeds

First, it was the SYNOPSIS.

Baby girl came up this morning but then proceeded to sleep, loudly. Congested or not, she was breathing so deeply and we just couldn’t sleep anymore. Hubbie and I got up, leaving her sleeping alone in our bed, and went to have breakfast.

She was still sleeping after that, so I thought it was the perfect opportunity to spend time doing what I hadn’t been doing for the LONGEST TIME… which was working on my novel. I was due to submit a synopsis of it at midnight tonight for my recent course, and I hadn’t really started.

So off to work I went.

As I looked for plot points and complications, the turning points and climax, I realised something… I had forgotten a lot. When something is amassing 97,000 words, you can understand that some things may be forgotten… and every time I have gone to re-edit, I have generally read the first few chapters, before getting distracted for a while, and then coming back to it… only to start at the beginning AGAIN.

And also, I finished writing this novel, let’s see…. sometime in 2012. That’s a whole 7 years. A LOT can be forgotten in that time.

And I had. Forgotten a lot. I had to bring up my original manuscript, pour over sections, and something became very clear, very quickly.

I really liked it.

I know that is a massive breach of what you are allowed to say as a creative person! You are meant to say things like –

“oh, that old thing.”

OR

“Yeah, it’s ok (hair flip) I could’ve have done better.”

OR

“It is a piece of shit,” (with a hyena-type laugh because you’ve just scored yourself a major contract).

But I found myself more times than not, reading things over even when I didn’t have to.

I was re-discovering my story. I was finding twists and surprises I had put in there long ago, and I was pleasantly surprised I had managed to do that, even before my online writing courses had been a glimmer of a thought.

Clearly I still have a lot of work in front of me. But I felt the structure, was pretty good. The premise, was entertaining enough.

I liked my characters.

I liked my overall meaning.

I liked my ending.

I was proud of myself.

(Pat on the back :))

So I sat there, in my pjs ’til about 1pm (baby girl did come down and I did stop to give her breakfast) at the laptop, pouring over my novel and expelling more of my soul into the synopsis than I even thought possible.

I planted the synopsis.

And then I planted the SEEDS.

Or should I say bulbs. Tulip bulbs. And before I have gardeners sending me angry emails of “how dare you plant in Winter,” be assured I FORGOT to plant the bulbs in Autumn, I really did.

After the tulips I got from the Tulip festival last year had their run and their petals fell off, I did as recommended and gathered the bulbs and put them in a plastic bag, to lay dormant over the year so that they could be re-planted the next.

Sure, I missed Autumn. But I read somewhere that these flowers were hardy AS. They could handle almost anything. I was urged to try regardless, and so today we finally took them out of the bag…

And shock horror… they had SPROUTED!

IMAG0260

In the bag! It gave me hope! If they could sprout in the bag, imagine what they could do in SOIL????

We covered the 8 bulbs we had and fertilised and watered them, and then I told baby girl and Hubbie we all had to send it lovely positive thoughts.

It is in a pot outside the room where I sit and write. So hopefully sometime in Spring, I will be reaping the fruits of both my SYNOPSES and SEEDS labours….

;);););)

 

 

 

 

#1219 17 days into June

Girls and guys, we are getting there.

We are half way through the first month of Winter.

And you know what? Hell I am going to call it… come August time and I don’t even consider it even Winter anymore. Let’s just say we have a month and a half to go.

So maybe I am ‘slightly’ biased, August being birthday month and all. But seriously. With the early start we had to Winter (ahem, last week of Autumn), I can honestly expect to start seeing a bit more peeking sunshine come the eighth month of the year.

And you know… by mid-August anyway, plants even start to flower.

And no I don’t say that because it is my birthday then. IT IS TRUE.

We have survived 17 days peeps.

WE CAN DO THIS.

#1180 Watching the world go by

I helped out in baby girl’s class this morning.

2 HOURS. Even with them singing out “Good morning SmikG” (!) making any teacher dreams I ever had come true, I still required a… something… anything… time out to pat myself on the back on this hellish say that was considered, May.

Stupid Melbourne weather.

I headed through not-very-Autumn-like winds and shivering temperatures to…

Via Boffe. We are living there lately.

I ordered a warming chai latte… the herbs darling, NOT the powder… a protein ball…

And I sat by the window.

IMAG8714

Yep. I was one of those people. The ones you spy through café windows, looking back at you all haughty and dream-like as they sip their beverages and you walk by in a rush, wishing you were in there instead.

I was that person.

I loved it. Just as nice as it is to do something for others, as I had done this morning…

So too is it good to do something, for ME.

#1173 Love for May

Even though it heralds one more month until the coldest time of year, I still find myself loving the last month of Autumn in a special way.

May holds beautiful things for me. Wedding memories, sunshine-y days, last hurrah bursts of warmth… parents anniversary, Dad’s birthday… Mother’s Day… May is a month that holds a lot of celebrations, a lot of get togethers, and a lot of reflecting on moments and how far we have come.

The Autumn leaves are falling… there is still occasional mildness in the air… the sunsets, are sweet…

IMAG8650

Who am I kidding? They are on fire.

The sky, was on fire tonight.

Even just consider the word, ‘May.’ It suggests an allowance of things to come, a natural ebb and flow of events, a gentleness, a receptiveness that makes everything so easy.

A season that lets things happen if you want them to.

May. May your May, be good to you.

 

#1165 Shedding

Today was about release.

Acceptance of oneself.

Removing the obstacles.

Clearing the path.

Believing in something greater.

Shedding of the old… like the Autumn leaves…

IMAG8561

And openness, to the new.

In closure, there is always a new door that is opening.

And there is nothing wrong with those leaves that are falling… like Mother Nature, they are part of a cycle, part of us, part of our process of reinvention and growth and renewal.

But change is inevitable, and change is necessary.

Change is good.

And it’s time for my leaves, to come gently cascading down.

#1158 Counting down the work days

You ever have those days, when you really don’t wanna go to work?

Ha! you say. EVERY TIME, DUH!

Seriously though… I don’t mind going to work. Sure getting up sooo early can be extremely difficult. The tip-toeing around the house, trying to leave without making any noise, driving for a minimum of an hour, only to then have to WALK 10-15 minutes from where I have parked, to my place of employment…

But after that, I get to breathe. Relax. Work at my own pace (to some extent). Have a coffee break with my colleagues. Catch up, on stuff.

Eat and drink in peace.

Have ADULT conversation.

Feel valuable and needed.

Feel confident in what I do…

Get my drift?

But still there are some days where I wake up and am all –

“UGH.”

“Ugh, I didn’t sleep enough.”

“Ugh I feel sick.”

“Ugh it was so hot last night.”

“Ugh I had a restless night.”

“Ugh baby girl is grinding her teeth again and I’ve just lost the last half hour of my night.”

Whether my reasons were one, two or 17 of the above, let’s just say I really struggled this morning when the alarm went off at 5am.

I lay in bed, thinking very hard, very seriously… wishing that I didn’t have to get up… looking over at Hubbie, and baby girl who had crept up between us only hours earlier…

Feeling a bit like this cat really.

catmememillionaire

But then I got up.

The work countdown helped me get up. Because even though there is no official end date as yet, there is a rough, estimated date, and I can almost say with assurance that there is less than 2 months to go.

2 months. NOT EVEN.

So I lugged myself out of bed. Did the tip toeing. Did the quiet exit. Did the dark and long commute.

Walked through the warm Autumn air. Past the docked boats gently bobbing in the morning water…

And into the glaring red light.

The countdown is on. Soon I won’t be walking there, and I’ll be officially unemployed.

But I’ll be unemployed and sleeping in my warm bed at 5am, and as baby girl would say

“Na na na na boo boo.”

😉

#824 Shedding fears with Mum and Autumn leaves

Like trees, we start off small. Meek. Modest and feeble. We sway wildly with the gentle breath of Summer’s wind, and we soon realise we need to dig our roots in really deep to keep from being uprooted from the ground.

Over time, we grow. Tall, strong, roots spreading far, our branches reaching out, now covering some of those small and slender trees that we used to be.

And then Autumn comes.

The greatest tree must shed its leaves. Stature means nothing. It needs to leave everything behind, stripping itself bare and laying naked in front of the world. It does this slowly, releasing itself of three seasons, letting its layers fall away, yet still standing strong, proudly, knowing that one day, it will sprout green again.

IMAG0841

Today I revealed some deep-seeded fears and truths to my Mum, beside this very tree.

I had grown up thinking I could do it all on my own. But trees grow in clusters for a reason.