#2539 So many reasons

Today was a great day.

A few nice things made me super grateful.

Firstly, baby girl’s swim lessons. She’s decided, with our approval, to stop swimming. She’s been doing lessons for 4 and a half years. She probably lost about a year due to two years of covid and lockdowns, but so did everyone else.

She knows how to swim. Stay afloat. Protect herself. All the water safety. At this stage, she’s not planning on becoming a professional, or joining the Olympic team.

She’s done enough.

She wants a break, and I totally agree. Today was her last lesson of the year, maybe forever, and all I could think of was that small kinder girl who first started all those years ago, a bit tentative, unsure, only wanting girl teachers not boys, who swam up the shallowest end of the pool.

Now she swims up the deep end.

So, I had some feels. I’m pregnant, so they hit me often. 🥰

I also had my family’s saint day, Sveti Nikola which they/we celebrate. I’ve spoken about this saint day before, a tradition that has been passed down from my grandad – my Mum’s dad – and probably many generations before that.

It was short and sweet, being a weeknight. But the sentiment was there, and I didn’t realise it until I was speaking it out loud, saying it’s nice to see each other, get together, even if for a bit. Yes, people are still working, still going to school (one more day for baby girl!) and it’s a busy time of year.

But to stop, get together, catch up, spend some time having one-on-ones with family, it was precious. Showing baby girl what family is, tradition is… it was priceless.

And then, just now. WordPress does this thing lately where it gives you a prompt to write a post. I do daily gratitude, so I don’t need a prompt… 🤣 BUT, today’s one got me, and I wrote a little bit and took a pic before deleting and writing all of this instead.

The prompt is the first line. My reply follows:

And so, I am just happy, for so many reasons. Growing up, family, looking forward to amazing things. I am claiming this as my time. I have done my due. I’ve gone through shit. I know with life being what it is, I will go through it again.

But I will claim this now, because I deserve it. 🙏💖

#2494 Baby balance

Question: How many times can I put ‘baby’ in a post title from now until February?

Answer: Many, many times. 😁😁

I am a certain kind of person. (Aren’t we all?) I like to have fun, and celebrate, and make a fuss out of momentous things like the best of them.

But just as I like to make a fuss, I am also fussy. I like to do things a particular way. I like to do them different, my way.

In fact, when everyone is doing one thing, I often like to go, no, that just doesn’t suit me.

I don’t want to do the regular thing. And it’s not out of rebelling against the system or anything… often, going with what everyone else does, is actually not me. It doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t feel right.

I have very deliberately NOT put up an official social media post announcing our pregnancy. Those that are dear to us have found out personally from us, and now that I have some pregnant photos floating around online, sure, people are finding out more and more…

But there was no hoo ha about it. I did it my way.

There is lot about this pregnancy journey I want to share with people. I will also write about it extensively in time, that I am sure…

But just because I write about it openly, it doesn’t mean that I am willing to talk about it openly with just anyone.

There is a very strong difference here.

Because those that get me telling them face to face, get my personal unedited tongue guiding them through the raw stuff.

Those who read my words get my carefully articulated and chosen expressions that will just as thoroughly share my story.

I am very, very particular about this.

Also, people like to throw baby showers. I don’t like that term.

Of course. 🤦‍♀️

200 people have asked, “are you having a gender reveal?”

(There was no such thing when I was pregnant with baby girl.)

No we are not having a gender reveal.

300 people have asked, “are you finding out what it is?”

No we are not finding out what it is.

And so on and on it goes.

A large part of me wants to scream and shout from the rooftops about how happy I am.

The other part wants to keep it low-key and cas, because the neighbours don’t need to know my thoughts.

I want hype, fan-fare, excitement and lots and lots of yelling!

But then I also want like, yeah ok, chill out there. Just relax.

I don’t want to do and buy all the baby things, just because everyone on TikTok is buying it, doing it, showing it off…

But then tonight, as I was researching baby related things… OH MY HEART.

I want all the things!

I said to Hubbie, “this is killing me with cuteness.”

And baby girl responded correctly, “EVERYTHING is killing you with cuteness.”

So I’m just a complicated, pregnant woman (redundant statement I know, all pregnant women are complicated 🤣) trying to find some kind of middle ground between laying low and staying cool, and doing and buying and celebrating all the things that means a new baby is on the way.

I am just trying to work out, my way.

#2484 The chiro-justor

So in my journey to get to where I am, I have seen many, many people.

And many, many, is a true understatement.

I know my body, and things about health that the normal person would have no idea about. And yet conversely, I know very little because I’m still seeking the help of health professionals… especially while pregnant. 🤰

In my travels, I came across a chiropractor, and since I fell pregnant right after I started seeing her, when she suggested I start to see her boss instead who knows a lot more about pregnancy, I happily agreed.

People often think of chiropractors as practitioners who make you go “Ouch!” and crack you every way possible. That has NOT been the case with both of these ladies that I have now come to know, after today.

It’s all about adjustment.

Moving the limbs here, gentle stretching, applying pressure, and then the swift flick! If you have gone to a chiro you’ll know exactly what I mean. But it is very bearable, and they work with you, not against you.

‘T,’ the chiro boss that I met today, gave me some very valuable information about nerves, and while for the next few months we’ll be focusing on everything being in position for this pregnancy and subsequent birth, I have high hopes for her helping me with some other health stuff beyond baby.

I have seen enough people by now that I’m instantly aware if they have a wealth of new knowledge for me, or know jack all and my cat is more perceptive than them. I have a good feeling about ‘T’ and it’s truly a wonderful feeling knowing that all of my constant searching and searching, has come up trumps with many great practitioners now on my side.

Fighting for your health, and for answers doesn’t often come easy, but trust me, it is worth all the effort in the world.

Here’s to the specialists in their field… may we celebrate them, may we spread their reach, may we find health and balance through them. 🙏

#2454 Park and paint

Today I had a lot to be grateful for.

And the source of gratitude came in ticking things off the list…

Renos from the list, and family time on the list.

The latter, which is sooo important.

A perfect Sunday is created when you strike a good balance between being productive, but also having some relaxing down time. We painted the first coat of the window frame in our bedroom today before the sheers and blinds go in (‘we’ meaning Hubbie did the hard yakka, and I did the project managing 😆) and then spent the afternoon venturing down to Flinders for an afternoon walk, some ice cream and park play.

Then we sandwiched the Flinders drive with a second coat of paint as the sun shone brightly through our bedroom at the end of the afternoon. Again I was the ‘overseer’ as Hubbie finished the job, and we felt super content and productive as we reflected on the Sunday that was. 🌞😁

#2451 Living like a tourist

The one thing about living bayside that bugs me the most?

Tourists coming here and living my life when I am not doing it!

Living where we do, it becomes an ultimate hotspot in warm periods and over long weekends and public holidays.

Today was a public holiday, at the start of a LONG weekend.

And, it was sunny.

Of course, the people were out and about!

However, I was working today. Even so, having the sun out, shining through the window, and Hubbie and baby girl walking through the house made me feel good.

But… we wanted a tad more. So as soon as I clocked off, we headed off to the Main Street, to tourist with the rest of them. 😁

We grabbed some ice cream, lining up for 15 minutes behind the hoards of people, and then did a slow meander down between the park and the beach, before doing a walk across the sand, then a stop at the park for baby girl.

So many years ago we were like those tourists. In fact we loved it here so much, we decided to actually move. But often as is life, it gets away from us, and we end up going through the motions and the routines, obsessed with our to-do lists, more than we do the living in the present moment, which is how it gets, I think for everyone, from time to time…

It takes effort, it takes balance and it takes patience, but living your life and enjoying it is very well worth it.

And if it means you have to act like a tourist to make it happen, well so be it. Just as well I have a bed locally to sleep in. 🤣

#2230 Swinging Sundays

I feel like my New Years intentions have been going well so far.

One of the major ones was to keep things more simple and to stay as relaxed as I can.

We were helping my sister and bro-in-law move some furniture at my parents place for new carpet to go in, work which lasted an hour or so in the late morning…

And then in true and perfect work-life balance form, we then relaxed for THE REST OF THE DAY.

20% work, 80% living. 😉👍

We swam in the pool.

We ate.

We nibbled on snacks.

We talked.

We tickled.

We danced kolo on the lawn!

We laughed.

And we swung.

Baby girl kept calling me over to the swing set, and only once I was lying next to her and moving back and forth, did I realise how incredibly relaxing it was!

It was a pretty perfect Sunday. 💖🥰

#2228 The view is alright

Sometimes I plan one thing, but then my feet lead me elsewhere… like today.

I wanted to walk down to the local coffee shop after school drop-off, get a cap and then go back home to work on my novel a bit… but my head was full from the last day, nay, the last week. My energies were out of whack, I was sure my chakras were getting imbalanced, my head was groggy and unclear.

I needed some air, some perspective.

I walked past the cafe to the bay. My feet lead me further, off the bushy track, to another path, but this one though defined, was steep at points and very uneven… but I got there.

To this lookout.

I love this lookout because it is most definitely off the beaten track, so much so it’s also dangerous, what with the path ending and the cliff down-sliding at your feet.

But its rugged beauty also makes it feel special, so private and secretive, like its all mine and no one else’s.

I stood there, I crouched, watched ants, wondered at possible snakes in the bush, and just meditated staring at the water, for about 15 minutes.

Boats passed and I wondered who was in them, what their lives were like and how they were feeling today.

I had a lot of confusion and questions in my head, and amidst all of the working out, a song I’ve thought of a bit recently popped into my head.

It was Bob Marley’s “Everything’s going to be alright.”

Now I’m not entirely sure if it is in fact his song, but he does sing it, and I do like that version.

And then I wondered some more… was the song just a coincidental loop that was turned on in my head, or was it in response to my questions?

The latter I hope. 🙏

And then I left the beaten track, back to the well-worn cafe path and got my cap, to start my day at home with a fresher head, and a clearer perspective. 💖

#2217 Holiday learnings

Hubbie went back to work today, baby girl starts back at school tomorrow, and I start back at work later this week.

It’s been a super chill holidays. We did zilch sight-seeing, went to very little new places, with most of our visited list being places that we’ve been before, and also we did absolutely nothing at home.

No jobs. No appointments. No annoying phone calls.

Just doing whatever the hell we wanted. Lots of beaches and eating out sure. A dash of watching tennis.

But just, CHILL.

We all agree it’s been one of our best holidays ever, and we slept in our bed every night too.

When something happens to you like this, like you have the best time ever somewhere, or over a period of time, you can’t help but look back and question, ‘what made it so awesome?’

And when you see what it is, well naturally you want to implement it into your life.

Here is what I learnt:

It’s ok to do nothing. Actually doing nothing is extremely powerful. And you need to do this mindfully, like actually sit there, WITHOUT feeling guilty, saying to yourself ‘yes, I need this! I deserve this.’

Keep things simple. My God this is a huge one for me. How can we make things easy? How can we make it so that we aren’t running around like headless chooks day after day, doing mindless crap to check off our list while the days tick on by?

Simplify. Reduce. Remove the crap. We actually don’t need that much, i.e. material stuff, jobs, responsibility. Take the pressure OFF.

And my last one, which is REALLY controversial… you don’t need holidays. Not in the 2 week type of way, though after having them I can’t deny they are absolutely essential for a yearly reset.

But if your life is balanced, with the right amount of on and off days, you don’t need that much time off. If you fill your days off with people and things you love while doing work you are passionate about on other days, well your life should be pretty damn fine.

Now that all sounds easy in writing, but it’s bloody hard to make happen instantly overnight. It’s a work in progress like all of life, but that’s the ongoing challenge I guess… creating the life you dream of. 💖

#2135 It’s beginning to look/feel/sound a lot like Christmas

How else can you define Christmas, other than the day itself?

Is it the sight? A prettily decorated tree, baubles shining and tinsel glistening… or is it trolley-fulls of groceries being pushed around supermarkets by stressed out people?

Is it the feel? The festive joy in the air, end-of-year celebrations with excitement at holidays near and Summer nigh… or is it the overwhelm as you try desperately to keep up with everything, as well as keeping normal life ticking along?

Is it the sound? Carols playing over your stereo, live renditions performed by local celebrities on Christmas Eve… or is it a child crying because they didn’t get the present they wanted from Santa?

Or is it a little of all of the above? Hopefully the former choices for your (and my) case.

I’ve been feeling a heady balance of the two, and I think lockdown is to blame. We’ve grown so used to having nothing on, seeing nobody, being locked up within our immediate walls, that anything different now we have had to get used to, majorly. EVEN the good stuff.

I’ve had Christmas represent itself in all kinds of ways todays, occupying many of my senses.

I finished my last work shift before Christmas, and now it’ll be a while yet ’til I work again, so the festive yuletide vibes are rife.

Baby girl also had her last swimming lesson of the year… and after a tumultuous couple years of trying to swim and learn amidst lockdown after lockdown (6 in fact) she finally moved up a level today! Hooray! She will be starting the New Year in the next lane up, and this time it’s so deep she won’t be able to touch the bottom of the pool with her toes. Yikes.

Each night now I’ve got Christmas music playing over the stereo, either when I’m prepping dinner or cleaning up.

I’ve sent most of my Christmas cards out.

Almost all presents have been bought. (Almost 😬)

I am definitely feeling the vibes. We are wrapping up (so to speak🎁), approaching the big day, C-Day, and I am starting to relax, if only incrementally.

Bit by bit, we are getting FESTIVE mate. 🤣🎄🎅😁

#2090 Cancelling plans

I was back to old me today.

Not good ‘ol me. Old me.

Running from here to there. My head full of stresses, to-dos and bits and bobs to occupy me for a while. In my head I had about 10 tabs open, and every so often I would check the notes on my phone to see if I had forgotten anything, and then also, to add more.

🤦‍♀️

It continued after work. I had just dropped off baby girl at her gymnastics make-up class, and then in amidst my dashing at home, a message from Hubbie.

Our friends had cancelled for tomorrow night. They weren’t coming anymore.

And I slowly halted.

Breathe out.

It hadn’t been a task, and I had been happy to catch up with our friends. But I realised as the cancellation message came through, that it was too much, too soon. We’ve been doing nothing, so to then be doing everything?

Nope.

It’s a blessing in disguise. It’s a reminder to ourselves that we don’t always need to say yes, and to schedule and organise our time to suit us, not others. To be mindful of down time as well as social time, yes, even in this post-lockdown world where we are terrified of not taking advantage of every great opportunity because, you know, ‘what if?’

Fear of missing out, or FOMO is a real thing, but we need to embrace JOMO.

The joy of missing out. Remember we were forced to miss out on a lot these past two years.

But choosing down time is an important balance to life, and vital to remember so that we don’t experience overload as we get back into doing what we love best.

And whether you call it missing out, or balance… I think we all need it, don’t you?