Because there will undoubtedly be more.
You know those awesome laughs? The ones where you go all ugly face and you cry/can’t breathe/go silent as you gasp for breath, all in one?
Yeah those are THE BEST. I just had one with baby girl, and what makes it even more satisfying was that I was getting really shitty just moments earlier.
It’s something you need to learn, and adapt to in parenthood. The whole aspect of turning things around, not only to save your child, but to save yourself. It is easy to be angry, and harder to make the conscious shift to change things around. But when you do, boy you get the rewards in leaps and bounds.
And ugly faces too.
Baby girl does not sit still. Like, she will be eating her dinner, getting off the chair, adjusting her clothes, climbing back onto the chair, decides to then come over and hug one of us, back on the chair, nope she positioned her clothes wrong, back off… and ON and ON and ON it goes.
Sometimes I find her sitting and watching some show, and even then she is teetering on her little couch, letting it swing back and forth; her legs moving all around as if she has ants crawling all over her; and at the very least, her fingers are moving, picking at her skin, any loose piece of anything on her that she can get her hands on.
She does not sit still. I mean, you’d think she was 4 or something?!?!
So I am putting her to bed and getting her settled before reading time. I am trying to tuck her in, then suddenly… she doesn’t want to sit up, she wants to lie down.
“Fine, lie down.”
She does so as I get the books out. She asks to be tucked in, and I do so, and then she points to me beside her, my legs on top of the covers.
“No I don’t want to be tucked in, I’m hot. You’re fine ok? Let’s read.”
I pick up the first book, The Very Cranky Bear. I know she is shitty, because she wants me to be tucked in too, like her. As I start to read, she gets the other two books and flings them across the bed in a defiant action.
I pause, and breathe. I stare at her silently, and then ignore the action to start reading again.
She waits a couple of seconds until getting out of all the covers I have just tucked her into, to reach over at the end of her bed and fish the other books back to us.
I stop. I breathe. Why must this routine take so bloody long???
“Ok. Now get back into bed.” I tuck her in once again, knowing I’ll probably do it another 7 times, and go back to reading the book. I’m a tad frustrated as I read, and in a sudden movement, I alter the book to match my mood.
“… None of them had noticed, that someone else was there,
sleeping in that cave was a very cranky… Mummy!”
She absolutely roared with laughter. Suddenly the ‘Mummy’ and not the ‘Bear’ was going “ROAR ROAR ROAR!”
She laughed so hard, so addictively, so insanely, that I could barely read the book. She now knew the game, and was laughing for the future pages, knowing I’d be replacing the ‘Bear’ with ‘Mummy’ at every turn. She was laughing so deliriously, without control, that I stopped every few pages to ugly laugh with her. I couldn’t help it. What a good belly-aching time.
And as I reached the end of the book, I realised that a bear and a mummy have a lot more in common than just being cranky.
“As (Mummy) stormed back inside the cave, (s)he turned and roared at sheep,
‘All I really want,’ (s)he said, ‘is a quiet place to sleep!'”
Ahh bear. I feel ya. I’ve got my own monkey keeping me awake here 😉