#1426 The city trip

We easily could have had a crap day.

We had a few difficult starts that could have turned us sour.

Like the train station parking.

There wasn’t any.

As it was we couldn’t take our regular line into the city because there were replacement buses at certain stops…

And if you have ever had to take a replacement bus in, you will understand why we never ever want to take a replacement bus EVER AGAIN.

So we tried to jump on another train line.

But every car park was full.

We were on holiday time… but the rest of the world was not.

It was a Friday you see. Business hours applied.

We went to one station, couldn’t find parking, before driving up to the next one trying to get lucky.

We did this at three stations before I said “let’s just drive in.”

I remembered the car park I’d gone to with baby girl when we had our Andy show for the last school holidays.

And we just happened to take the scenic route there.

Boy did it bring back memories.

We were driving along Beach Rd in St Kilda, and I was looking at the palm trees, at the houses facing the water…

AND IT HIT ME.

I remembered going there with Hubbie way before baby girl was around, and how we’d look up at the houses and admire them saying “imagine living here by the beach? Imagine that?”

Well we didn’t live by that beach, but now we lived close to a beach.

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All of a sudden our unplanned drive in was becoming a whole lot more.

We arrived at our car parking destination about 2 hours from when we set off. All the pausing and going from one station to the next and then looking for parking had taken ages.

We could have been cranky. We could have been pissed. Instead we stepped out of the old building, so known to us, and went ‘ahhh’ as the humidity of the day hit us and we spied THAT familiar street.

Lygon street. Our old stomping ground.

Oh wow. We were walking and telling baby girl everything. “Mummy and Daddy used to come here all the time… we used to go there… then we would go there… we’ve been there… look that’s changed!”

It was amazing as all the feelings came flooding back. It was a place that at one time in our life we frequented like twice a week… then it changed to once. LOL. We went there so much the trip there was permanently engrained in our minds. The twists and turns of the street, the best parking spots, and who did the best pasta and steak.

(Not necessarily from the pricey side, and if you know Lygon street you know which side of the street that is 😉 )

We stopped to eat lunch at a place we had before, and looking up and down at the greenery on either side of us, I grew misty-eyed.

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I had a revelation.

I even said it aloud: “I could see myself living here.”

Hubbe was shocked. It was a big thing for me to say that. Me, SmikG, so rapt with the beachside that I couldn’t imagine anywhere else.

I clarified… “I love where we live… but one day, maybe in 20 years, I could imagine living here.”

The memories. Oh the MEMORIES! Even sitting at that table, I was reminded that we had sat at that very café and at that very table and had a coffee, right before going on a little trip together pre-baby girl… I reminded Hubbie and he said “Yes, I remember!”

“Where were we going again?”

After throwing out some names which weren’t right, he said it was at a spot on the Peninsula.

FACE PALM. Where we live NOW.

The symmetry was freaking me out.

Lygon Street made me feel right at home. From the bear-shaped pizza for baby girl and the handmade gnocchi for me that melted in my mouth, I was in heaven. I’ve always said I was Italian in another life. I am more than confident of it after today.

We shared a coffee after our tram trek into the city-centre, where I had the most delicious and iconic Melbourne themed chocolate…

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Before we went to where we had planned to all along.

A children’s theatre show.

It was Room on the Broom, a production based off the iconic Australian children’s book. It was a present to baby girl for Christmas after we saw how enthralled in the book she was last year… and so that was the point of our whole trek in.

We did so much before that to get there, and it had been an adventure.

The show in itself was another great adventure.

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But then like so many times before, shit hit the fan.

Baby girl wanted merchandise. A tiny $40 stuffed toy witch, or a $25 stuffed toy cat.

I shouldn’t even mention the money. The money doesn’t matter. It was the principle.

She has LOADS of stuffed toys. Do you think she plays with them?

Noooooooooooooooooooooo.

She started the hysterics. The tantrum built. Cries and shrieks. “No I want it!” Stamping of the foot. It is almost hilarious if it ISN’T happening to you.

We’d done so much to get there. Spent so much. Travelled so far.

And now THIS.

I looked outside the open doors as she cried behind us. People crowded through the foyer, some looking over and others dealing with their own demanding brood.

I could see it – gone was the humidity that had enveloped me during my delicious Pomodoro gnocchi as I sweated it out at 1pm…

Because now at 4pm, it was windy and raining and people were getting drenched outside.

I put my foot down figuratively, told her “NO!” and stomped outside.

And instead of –

“But how the witch wailed

And how the cat spat

When the wind blew so widely

It blew off the hat.” – 

It was –

“How baby girl wailed 

And how her Mum spat

As the wind blew so widely

and her Mum yelled ‘that’s that!'”

LOL.

She cried as we pulled her along through the rain, pelting down on us as we ran towards our tram stop.

“You don’t need another stuffed toy!”

“Yes I do!”

“No you don’t!”

“Yes I do!”

“No you don’t!”

And as we ran, our feet sploshing through puddles and water sinking through our sandals, our arguing turned into banter, and the water on her face was suddenly from the rain, not her tears, as baby girl started to laugh.

“Yes I do!”

We got some much appreciated shelter from a woman holding an umbrella as we waited to cross the road, and within moments, all was well again.

The wild weather could have thrown us off.

The tantrum, the crying and yelling could have put us in a real sour mood.

But it didn’t.

And all of a sudden, we were full circle in our feelings again. 🙂

It was one of those weird days where it was a little bit of everything, but mostly a lot of fun and crazy.

We didn’t let anything unexpected throw us off our main task of having fun, whether it was a long drive, no parking, wild weather or a demanding 6 year old…

Our task was to make memories, with the added bonus of reminiscing past memories.

It was a happy day. ♥

 

 

 

 

#1389 The Tunes!

“TUNE!”

It’s what Hubbie yells when a great song comes on the radio.

But today it was me getting excited by the music. We had just been Christmas shopping, and our efforts had been great… we got a lot of stuff including baby girl’s pressies, which was timely seeing as she was at school and had NO IDEA.

On a high from being so Christmas productive, I was happy to hear a song come on the radio, and I immediately turned it up.

“Best movie ending ever,” I said to Hubbie excitedly. “How great is the climax? He comes back after being rejected from the dance company, rejected by her Dad, and he rebels against it ALL, takes her hand, on-stage, and brings the house down as they start to dance.”

“Then the bosses realises,” I still rambled, “‘hey, the holiday-ers actually like this stuff,’ and her Dad goes ‘oh I was wrong about him,’ and it is just sooooo satisfying!”

What movie am I talking about? You should know by now.

Time of my Life, from the ‘Dirty Dancing’ soundtrack.

As if that wasn’t enough to get me happy… as soon as it ended, another great song.

I turned the volume up really high. The max I usually have it on is about 16, maybe 17 or 18 if I’m really excited and driving down the freeway on a hot night with the windows open.

And that’s still loud.

Today I turned it up to 20. Hubbie thought the speakers might burst.

But you know, all great songs MUST be played really loud. Like this one:

INXS’ Don’t Change. I absolutely love this song. I love the cyclical 80s film clip. I love the way Michael Hutchence dances. I love the band’s youthfulness and open disregard for structure and rules. I love the time it encapsulates, but most of all I love how it’s just a really awesome song and has some great words which you should learn and sing along to too…

“Resolution of happiness

Things have been dark for too long

Don’t change for you

Don’t change a thing for me…”

#1374 Us 4, like old times

Today we found ourselves in a place, a space, a set up, that we haven’t been in for a while… and yet it was something that we used to live and breathe.

And eat. As it was concerning the old kitchen table.

Not my kitchen table… but my parents’ old kitchen table.

It was me, my sister, and my parents. And we sat down to eat in exactly the same spots we used to all those years ago.

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😯

Wow. This is a big deal. We go to my parents’ house a fair bit, and even sis and I will find ourselves there at the same time too… but it will usually be with the rest of the fam. Hubbies. Kids. And we never sit at the small round table when there are 9 of us.

But today, only 4. The original clan;) I had to take a snapshot of the moment.

It wasn’t the only flashback in time though… When we were headed out later, sis and I in the back seat of Mum’s car as she drove, Dad in passenger… she stepped on the gas, HARD, as she reversed flew down their long narrow drive.

Sis and I turned to each other with looks of surprise on our faces before I burst out laughing.

Oh Mum. How could I forget your insane driving?

Memories. ❤👨‍👩‍👧‍👧

🤣🚘

 

#1352 My rings, his rings

I looked at the hand resting on his leg. Glanced at his other hand, holding the steering wheel.

Both his wedding and engagements rings were missing.

And something else was in its place.

I think it speaks volumes for Hubbie that he has a better memory of this than I do, the giver of the rings… but that’s just what I did. Years and years ago when we were still ‘boyfriend girlfriend,’ I gave him a couple of rings.

They weren’t rings that I had bought specifically for him… they had been my rings. They had been wrapped around my fingers for years, and then one day, I decided I wanted him to have them.

My rings.

I am honestly surprised I ever did this. More so because I am a hoarder and keep a lot (sorry Marie Kondo). I’m guessing I gave them away because he bought me rings to wear, from him…

I am also guessing, that I was feeling a lot of love when I gave him something that was so precious to me.

And when I look at those rings today, I feel it even more.

Because a while ago, he went out on a mission to find them. Back at his parents’ house, he found the two bands I gave him when we were still in our teens, and since that discovery has worn them on his fingers ever since.

One of them I think I recall buying myself. It is silver or something like that, and has about 6 hearts in a row, in a right-side up and upside-down pattern.

The other ring is possibly decagon shaped. It is super thin, also silver… and I think someone bought it for me. It may have been a cousin from overseas, but I’d be lying if I said that was the truth…

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And he wears both, on his pinkie fingers.

I noticed it again today. We were in the car and I noticed that his $$$ wedding and engagement bands were gone… instead replaced with those old silver pieces that wouldn’t be worth much together, let alone on their own.

And I smiled. He wore those, because they meant more to him. They mean more to him.

Those rings go back, to the beginning. ♥♥

 

 

#1297 The Final Paycheck

IT’S THE FINAL PAYCHECK!

Hopefully not my last ever paycheck, as I do plan on working again, and I do plan on earning again… But for now, I am pretty much out the door, with notices signed, papers received, and now paycheck – IN.

It still feels like work oddly enough. I have to keep reminding myself it is my ‘old’ work, not my current work anymore. Google maps keeps telling me how long it will take me to drive to work…

SUCK THAT GOOGLE. And the Monash. I won’t be missing that.

But maybe it doesn’t yet feel like the end because we have a final send-off party at the end of the week… let’s see how things feel after that.

 

 

#1284 Lucky 7

As I drove into work on the dreaded Monash this morning, the car slowed, painfully so… for the longest time.

There was an accident. I shook my head. I was going to be late.

As I walked into work the drizzle intensified, cascading down over my face. I couldn’t help my amused smile. Thanks for the lovely send off Docklands.

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And then as I started up my computer, two programs weren’t working… I had to call IT.

Face palm.

All on my very last day of work.

It was finally HERE.

It was the weirdest sensation. I felt anxious and intensely nervous through most of the day. Things were emphasised to me at every turn… when I went up a lift “this will be my last time travelling to level 3.” When I scraped my bowl of its weetbix residue… “this will be my last dish from this kitchen.”

When I locked my locker for the last time.

When I logged off my computer for the last time.

Even going upstairs for a break with my colleagues got me over-sentimental. I in fact stopped going up for tea years ago, back when I started my morning coffee walks instead, and then there was the whole writing-at-the-desk-during-any-break thing…

I had to force myself to breathe. Pause. Reflect.

Many things made me feel better.

Firstly, this was not I, and I alone leaving. It was all of us. Our entire department and so many more. I was the second last of our team to leave, and so many had already walked my steps, felt my dis-ease, the discomfort and the bittersweet emotions at leaving.

It had happened to ALL my colleagues. My friends.

Secondly.… well change. It is inevitable. If this hadn’t happened now, we would have all been content in just going through the motions, the routine of work that we know like the back of our hand, becoming complacent in our roles and not expanding our mind and life journey with new learnings, adventures and places to see, people to meet.

There is so much to see. So many people to meet.

Memories flooded back to me as I looked around. The people I had seen come, and go. The places where secrets were shared. The darting looks and cheeky glances. The meltdowns. The showdowns. The ups, and downs.

Almost 12 years of my life.

I got my last coffee with a colleague… and today it was necessary to get dessert. Sure I had leftover cake from the weekend at home…

But it was my LAST DAY EVER. Screw that.

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It was sublime.

As I sent off a billion emails to my personal email, going through folders and deleting files here, there and everywhere, the feeling of anxiety grew.

I was deleting, and removing any remnants of me, from my locker… my desk… my entire email account. 1000s upon 1000s made their way into the graphic rubbish can on screen.

And my anxiety grew.

I was forgetting something. I met with HR. Got my papers. Went through more emails. Checked my lists… again. Went through my empty locker… again.

I had done everything I had to… and yet there was the strongest urge that I had forgotten something.

And just like that, at the acknowledgment of my lost feeling, I realised.

I felt like I was forgetting something, because a piece of me was going to remain there, even after I walked out the doors.

You can’t just flick a switch. Walk out without turning back. Expect to not have a memory lingering. Some laughter floating through the halls.

You can’t do it. Not after so long. Not after having created some of the best memories with the best people you could ask for.

You couldn’t, just, forget.

With that in mind, knowing I was going to have to leave a piece of me behind…. I walked out.

And instead of the grey morning and drizzle I had walking in with, now there was sunshine.

There was a new adventure waiting for me.

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And it’s a bit hard for me to believe now, so early… but I think it will be even better than this one.

And that’s because of my lucky number. Numbers. Because I have lots. And it’s not just 7.

😉

 

 

 

#1251 To remember a song

Don’t you hate it when you walk into a room with purpose, get distracted by something… pause, and then think ‘what did I come here for again?’

It can be soooo annoying. Especially when you are super-busy or time-poor, which is almost everyone nowadays. I can usually backtrack my steps, go back to the ‘other’ thing I was doing, and sure enough within 10 minutes at the very most, the thought comes flying back to me, and just as quickly I then go to get it/do it/create it.

But it happens in so many different ways too.

You will catch up with an old friend and say “I had so much to tell you – I just can’t remember now…”

Or you will be falling asleep at night and think of the most creative and inspiring thing, and yet it is all but blah blah blah at sunrise after you wake up.

Or like me, you hear a song, try your best to remember it for future reference… and then forget.

That’s almost what happened to me yesterday. I didn’t even hear the song in question. I just remembered it. Out of nowhere. I was listening to another 80s tune on the way to meet my friends for dinner, and this other song popped into my head out of nowhere… I didn’t have it in my CD collection… I didn’t have it on my ipod… I just willed myself to remember and play it/show it to Hubbie the next day.

Tonight while starting to wash the massive pile of dishes from dinner, I went to put on the Bluetooth speaker to make my task more fun… nothing like a distraction technique like youtube to make the monotonous of washing dishes interesting…

And literally, just as I said to him “oh, I had a song I wanted to play for you…”

Guess what?

BANG. The song actually flew INTO my head! Not out.

Well what do you know?

I know, you are hanging to know what it is. 😉 It’s a song from a well-known 80s movie, and due to the movie it’s from I think many don’t tend to relate this song to the movie, because of a fairly prominent other song from the movie DEFINITELY tied to it.

Footloose. Sure, ‘Footloose’ is the song from Footloose, EVERYONE knows that. But did you know this song features too?:

See?

Hubbie hadn’t even heard of it. EVER. I was gob-smacked. This guy who plays 80s music almost every night…

The best line:

“I swear that I can see forever in your eyes…

(sing with me!) – 

PARADISE.”

Thanking my memory bank for this romantic 80s rock duet 🙂