#504 Work ‘break’

This ain’t the type of work break you’re thinking of.

You immediately thought I was grateful for getting a break from work, right?

WRONG.

I am so grateful today, that I was able to get a break, by going to work.

Yep. I’m hitting the gratitude game hard when I’m thankful for work on a Sunday. Let me explain.

I mentioned that yesterday was a difficult day for me. I was flat, lowly, and in my trakkies all day, having only left the house to walk down the driveway and wave off my sister in the late afternoon.

I was also physically unwell. I was really keen for it all to be over soon.

Soon came when I woke up at 5:30 this Sunday morning.

And I was ok. I was happy, even. I questioned myself at several moments throughout the work day, and realised that despite how low I had gotten yesterday, NOW I was actually quite, alright.

I felt really good actually.

How had this come about? Clarity? Hindsight? I can’t even put it down to a good night’s sleep, because baby girl woke me once throughout the night, I was struggling with too many covers at another point, and in total I probably had about 5 and a half hours of shut-eye.

Then I realised.

It was DISTANCE.

I had removed myself from the place where I had been so upset – our haven, our home, our security – and in doing so, stepped away and out of the problem.

Doing so made me feel fresh and bright-eyed again. The problem was still there. But now I could deal with it and take the steps necessary to move forward, with a level-head.

And often I find, when you have a problem and you throw yourself into something completely unrelated, i.e. work…. suddenly things seem much more manageable a couple of hours or so later.

Thank you work. You are actually my God-send, my relief, my break and my holiday, in so many, many, many ways.

 

#492 Park Days no. 2

It was a very good day today. I was emotional, teary, and super-proud as punch as the kindergarten teacher told me how well baby girl was doing during her mid year parent/teacher mini-interview.

She is 3, in a predominantly 4 year old class. Not intended – that’s just how it happened. There weren’t enough 3s for a class of their own so they separated them into the 3 classes there are per week.

Every child has their own personal talents, and their own personal challenges. Baby girl does not differ. And yet, to hear such beautiful and encouraging feedback, about her positive self-esteem, sharing nature, ability to play well in a group, and to listen in group story-time, well…

IT MADE MY HEART SOAR.

As we were leaving the kindergarten, heading over to the park beside it that she hadn’t yet been to, I felt like I wanted to give her the world. I know I do already, but to hear such happy and positive news, I felt like I wanted to give her everything.

I know I already do. I was just so bloody proud.

So I pulled her aside and said “baby girl, look at Mummy – I am so, so proud of you. Mummy loves you.”

She smiled and then charged forward towards the playground she has been eyeing off for 6 months.

And so, we had a splendid park day.

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And for anyone thinking their Mum-kid relationship today was nothing like the above scenario, I’ll provide you with the humbling addition that we ended the day crying, exhausted, and angrily threatening “no book!”

Balance. It’s key. Still proud though 😉

#421 Kinder days no.2

….. and we are BACK. Back from school holidays, and back to kindergarten.

(Mwa ha ha).

Even though baby girl only goes one session a week because she is 3, those 5 hours mean a lot to me, let me tell you. If only for sanity, for catch-up, for myself, those few hours make such a difference, and the absence of them over the past few weeks has been sorely felt.

Today I did grocery shopping, alone.

Today I recommenced Zumba – my body needed and wanted it, BAD. (My left leg not being able to perform a particular movement towards the end of the session, showed me how badly my body was out of whack).

I ate well, having extra time to prepare a healthy lunch.

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(No that’s not cucumber, that’s broccoli stalk – shop your vegies finely, pop it into a Microwave safe container, fill 1/4 to a 1/3 with water, and put in the microwave for about 2 minutes with the lid ajar, or if you have the above Tupperware contraption, even better. Mix with tuna, carbs, or all of the above – done).

I cleaned the house – let me tell you it was very necessary.

I completed and ordered online invitations for my parents 50th wedding anniversary – sis and I are extremely excited.

Ahh, there’s nothing like catch-up. Getting ahead. Feeling accomplished.

I love Kinder.

#393 Enjoying the burn

I never thought I’d be so happy to have really uncomfortable stomach pain. But, I am.

After dinner, this growing feeling I’d had throughout the day in my middle region just kept intensifying. Totally manageable, but still… ouch.

Was it our dinner? I hadn’t really over-eaten. I certainly didn’t think I had over-indulged in the carbs. I have been watching myself, and today being the day baby girl goes to kinder, is also the day I get to workout at home alone, and the fact of working out actually supresses my need to eat anything too heavy or junk f00d like. It’s great like that.

It was only after realising, that this was a bit of a different stomach pain, more concentrated on the tummy muscles, that I realised –

THE ZUMBA.

It was working.

Yep, I still have a long way to go to where I want to be. But to know that finally, the moves I’ve been practicing at are finally starting to pay off… well, it is gratifying. Obviously. I’m getting it. And by getting it, I’m able to throw myself into the actions and exercises more fully, therefore…

Feeling the burn. Yes.

Let’s all stop for a second and thank the Lord that there are home workout DVDs. If not, poor unsuspecting persons would have to be subject to watching me in gym classrooms, trying like hell to work out how to perform ‘that’ certain movement, and only getting it at the 6th repetition .

“6… 7… 8… now turn.”

It is so annoying.

But, like I said, I’m getting it.

So now, less annoying… but more BURN.

Slowly but surely. Slowly but surely.

#390 Baby girl’s naps no.2 – catch-up

This post has very little to do with baby girl, and all to do with what I do when she is NOT around.

I’m lucky that at the age of 3 and a half, she still naps. About, an hour to 90 minutes a day, sometimes even 2 hours if we’ve been to the beach, or she’s been to kinder or run around heaps. And even then I start to make a lot of noise at the 90 minute mark, as I know that putting her to bed that night might be a tad difficult after a long nap.

She’s just like her Mum. She loves her sleep, and I’m fortunate to say, she always has.

Today she went for an hour 40 minutes. During this time, I plop myself in front of the laptop, and begin all kinds of writing tasks/passions.

Today it was personal journal writing; food review writing; and book review writing.

I’ve been behind in my food and book reviews for so long. Soooo long. You know when you are so behind in something, you start to consider giving it up?

‘It’s too hard. I can’t keep up.’

‘My life is too busy right now.’

‘This is getting out of hand.’

‘Maybe I’ll try this in 5 years time.’

I wasn’t sure, whether any of it was worth it. The reviews. The blog. Even the gratitude. I question myself on some days, when things are hard, when time is pressed, and I don’t think I’m going anywhere.

But, I am grateful for the stubborn Lion that I am.

Because I just can’t freaking give up so easy. It’s not in my DNA.

You shouldn’t either.

As hard as it has been in the last months/years/life since parenthood (!) I have still persevered. I have moved EVER SO SLOWLY. And I fortunately, have not given up. These moments I get when baby girl is napping, and then when she is sleeping late at night, I am able to move on, to try and catch up, to keep things going with my blogs, my personal writings, my passionate pursuits, as much as I can.

They are slow, ever so slow, baby steps. A snails pace. And there are days when I have to do other things. ‘Responsible’ things. I can’t write every day, and those days feel so wasted on me. But when I can, I try my damn best.

But today, after doing some more writing, and then taking a kind of step back to go ‘hmm, my food reviews are almost catching up,’ and ‘hmm, I’m heading through my current book review at a decent pace’ (with 3 more looming in the background but that’s not the point!) I felt, good. I felt like, I was getting somewhere. And I started to feel like, I might actually be catching up.

That was such a good feeling. And I am so grateful, I had it. More so, I’m grateful that baby girl’s reliable naps, gave me the opportunity for it 🙂

#322 Re-commencing the holidays

Our holidays have been on hold since my Dad was taken to hospital several days ago. And even though he was discharged yesterday, I was still busy with both him and Mum today, organising many other things for them.

I would run to the side of any of my immediate family members or close friends who needed me, whether due to health, heartache, or general ‘help’ reasons. And I am so grateful that Dad is now doing better.

But I can also say that I’m grateful our holidays are starting up again. We went out to dinner tonight, and it was great to do so with such satisfaction and relief, knowing that not only did Sis and I do everything we could for our parents these last few days, but they are both getting looked after and WILL be getting better. Things ARE actually, genuinely, on the improve.

Which means my last few days of the holidays, will surely be on the improve too.

(Exhale).

#295 Enjoying the lead-up

One of the things I love about Christmas is getting everything done. Getting it all done as soon as possible, before excitement turns into crazy rush, before buying presents turns into throwing money at salespeople, and before wrapping presents turns into paper flying everywhere.

Year by year I’ve been somewhat successfully managing to send out cards and buy and subsequently wrap presents, earlier, so that I can relax in the final week/days lead up.

This is what I love. The observing. The watching. The enjoying.

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I love sending my cards out early. I love knowing it will put a smile on people’s faces as they open up their mailboxes.

I love wrapping presents as early as I can. I love looking at the Christmas-coloured wrap and ribbon under our tree, taking it easy, and basking in the fact that I can enjoy all that Christmas has to offer.

Reflecting. Christmas songs. Baking Christmas goodies. Looking forward to time off work, and happy times spent with family. Eagerly anticipating the opening of the presents, excited about seeing baby girl’s face when she goes through hers.

Christmas is the best. Christmas through a child’s eyes is better.

So although I haven’t bought and wrapped ALL my presents yet, I have about half under the tree right now, and even now, I feel ‘Ahhh.’ Almost there.

But I don’t need to be ‘there’ yet. I like being here too. Enjoying and reflecting.