I’ve had a couple of health things that will not go away, and this was suggested to me by someone who I’ve grown to depend on a lot in recent times. They are pungent, with a deep earthy smell, a bit sweet, extremely rich, and they look freaking cool in the pot too.
As I was boiling it down three times tonight, I exclaimed happily to Hubbie “Look at my bark! Look at my bark!”
And just as it looks like it’s been stripped from a tree, so too is it good to go back into the ground, apparently as great compost.
(Fuck, something has to go right in my life about now…)
Excusez-moi my F bomb, but after a certain amount of time, zero Fs are given.
I walked up to my wonderful words today, to see my story come true before my very eyes.
Yes, that is me, I am breaking smikg protocol and displaying myself for all (or am I, really, am I? 😉)
I participated in a wonderful initiative last year by submitting some works towards a community project… the writers club I am part of teamed up with the local shire to get writers to create a mini fiction, no more than 6 words, on the theme of community, to be drawn and displayed along the streets of Rosebud.
Why, having my words out there for all to see? How could I miss the opportunity!
After finding out yesterday that yes, it DID happen yesterday, I headed on down with Hubbie today to pinch myself.
You know what’s funny about that photo? The sun was shining DIRECTLY on the SHINE part, but the photo didn’t show the light and dark well so I got Hubbie to like, hug me from the side so that we could block out the sun… can you see his outline? 😂
I got a little teary, I won’t lie. I’ve been longing to be published in some form for so long. And even this, on the footpath, just 6 words… it makes me so happy. It’s given me the much-needed boost I’ve needed, in the midst of life difficulty, frustration with everything, and very regular bouts of writer’s insecurity, like “am I good enough?” “my writing isn’t as good as theirs,” and “who’s going to want to read this?”
But to be published, just once,anywhere… it’s broken the spell. It’s crashed through the dam of insecurity, of doubt, and now the water is crashing down, happy and unbridled and free, and it wants to do it all.
I can just stare at that, like ALL DAY.
I will enjoy this moment, and hold on, as much as I can.
***Big thanks to @rondelle for her fabulous artwork, and @peninsulawriters along with @mornpenartsandculture for this great opportunity to try and inspire. ***
Things aren’t perfect, and they can always get better. But I find myself at a point where I feel like despite everything, there is nothing else to do BUT keep going.
Keep yourself distracted with passions, personal pursuits. If some things aren’t working out, well then find what IS, and run after that at full-speed.
But also, don’t be hard on yourself. I found myself the other night nearly crying with despair to Hubbie.
“And I want to do this, and do this, and I’m trying to do this, and then I’ve got my book! Then I want to do this, AND this…”
The list goes on and on and on.
We put sooo much pressure on ourselves.
We want to create this perfect family life. But we have to also work, and make money. Maintain the house. Cook wholesome food. Clean. Wash clothes every second of every day (or so it seems). Feed people.
But also chase your dreams! Be fit, exercise. Eat mindfully. Take time out, but don’t waste a second!
Play with your kids. Give yourself me time. Take walks. Sleep in. Keep in regular contact with family, friends.
What the actual fuck am I to do with all that?
Something has GOTTA give.
I’ve been giving so, so much lately. I can only do things, and move forward in incremental steps, and it’s these tiny baby steps I’ve been taking that are making me feel like things are actually moving.
Snail place, but still moving forward.
And that leads me back to, don’t give up.
It’s so tiresome and banal, telling people to not give up. I’ve felt like telling people over the last shit year who’ve passed out that quote, to piss off and shut up.
But I find it to be true, too true. Even in super-crawl slow-mo pace, I find it to be the most factual of all things.
Keep your head up. Look at what positives you can… even if it’s the blanket on you right now. A hot drink. Sun peeking through the clouds. Someone sending you a nice message. A cute cat.
I am skilled in the art of looking for things in the smallest of spaces. I should know. It’s awfully difficult, but it can be done.
And I guess, it’s nice to be passing out this advice, instead of looking for it.
We are HOME. Finally. And in no small part is it due to a kind person we had only ever met over the phone up ’til this morning, who quite literally saved the day for us.
Our car had actually been fixed, lo and behold, late yesterday afternoon. But both last night, and this morning, when I tried repeatedly for almost 2 hours, Hubbie couldn’t get an uber to pick up his car from a mechanic’s only 15 minutes away.
It was so frustrating. I called taxi services that didn’t answer, and then uber just kept saying –
“Sorry, we couldn’t find a ride for you.”
A word of caution for us and anyone else when booking a holiday: regional trips can come with its share of issues if shit hits the fan. Just sayin’.
Anyway, we were due out of the apartment at 10am. Hubbie called the mechanic in desperation to explain the situation, and this guy that we’d never met, that we’d been hassling for a day and a half to get our car fixed in time, so very kindly offered to drop the car off to us.
OMG. Praise the Lord. Can you hear the angels sing?
We lugged bags and bags and bags worth of stuff to the foyer, checked out, and then some time later, our car pulled up to the reception!
What a sight!
This mechanic was the nicest guy… he had gone out of his way to help us, and we couldn’t say thank you enough.
But once we did, pedal hit the metal, and we zoomed home for an hour and 10 minutes.
You get a whole lot of time to actually catch up on stuff.
And it may not be things that you feel are necessarily important or even life-serving…
It can be something as simple as working out how to use Insta stories.
This thing has been bugging me for months now. Insta. In particular, insta stories, and the potentially and definitely mammoth amount of filters and options and links and tags and what have you that you can add onto them.
They’ve left me confused for so long, but yet I haven’t really tried to learn it either.
The Insta youtube tutorial. Oh yeah, I am such a dag right now.
But now, I KNOW! I’m a dag that knows!
I posted my first insta stories tonight, and even created a new Highlights reel on my page, woo hoo!
If you wish to check out what all my fuss is about (and see my stories, i.e. it’s food!) look up @smikgwriter