Don’t you think it’s interesting that during the most difficult newborn phase, you start getting smiles?
That’s been the case from around a couple of weeks ago when I got my first social smile… and now while we are right in the middle of the toughest stage, we are getting them daily.
Like this morning. Baby boy gave me the sweetest smile/laugh, and I swear it’s timely and it’s like he wants me to forget about the hell-ish night that was…
It kinda works. 🤷♀️❤
We’re in the middle of a storm (and no, it’s not the literal one that surprised us all in Melbourne yesterday).
The feels are the same though: hanging, ominous, end-of-the-world dark clouds; helplessness and frustration over the current conditions; and a bleak outlook for the future.
The storm I speak of is the newborn storm, particularly the 6 week stage.
Now I don’t wanna speak only badly about this phase. There is a certain beauty, innocence and wonder about these first weeks of your child’s life as you get a front-row seat to watching them work it all out, growing from newborn to infant before your very eyes, while reminding you of the miracle of life and how precious it really is.
But anyone who has been through this phase would also know just how testing, tiring and traumatising the newborn stage can be. The stage WE find ourselves in.
But it is only the case, ‘right now.’ I heard those words today from a social media influencer, saying if you add the words ‘right now’ to a stressful situation you are going through, it reframes the situation and helps you to see that this is temporary and will pass.
I am getting no sleep right now.
My child is extra fussy right now.
I find myself struggling big time right now.
The rephrasing provides hope, consolation and brighter days to look forward to. And like the snap storm we had roll over our skies this morning, we’ll find that the other side of it will be waiting for us as today was too – with bright blue skies, a sunny outlook, and the feeling like ‘did it ever even happen?’… 🙏
Hubbie has been amazing. I’m looking after baby boy – feeding, changing, comforting, rocking to sleep, along with so much more – while he has been looking after all of us.
He’s up at night in an instant if I need it, and he’s doing almost all the ‘house’ jobs, as well as tending to the yard and still working full time.
I tell him he’s the best, but he says I am, calling himself the Pippen to my Jordan.
Awww. Omg. Huge compliment.
He hasn’t been alone in his care. Baby girl has been something else. She’s old enough to recognise my silent cries for help, to read the exhaustion in my face, and she doesn’t ignore the tears either. She often gives me hugs and kisses, telling me I’m doing great, affirming to me to keep positive.
Saying everything is gonna be alright.
But tonight was the clincher. I got worried once again about how the night would proceed, and the distress was written all over my face.
I went upstairs with baby boy to begin the lengthy night, and it was only once Hubbie joined me upstairs after putting her to bed that he told me what she did.
Once I had gone up, she had stood at the bottom of the stairs, both fingers crossed, looking upstairs, whispering “please please please let him sleep tonight.”
Awww. 🥲
On these still-too-frequent long and difficult nights, having the love and care of hubbie and baby girl is the difference between going insane and getting by… bit by bit.
Cry by cry.
Wake by wake.
Night by night. 🙏❤🙏❤
I’ve survived 41 days…
It can get boring and monotonous and tiring, doing what I do.
But I remind myself of all of the beautiful things from my corner of the world.
Like tonight’s sunset.
Even if I can’t be out there right now… I can admire it from in here. 🙏🥲🌅❤
Number 1. After a not bad block of sleep to start the night on Friday night (about 2.5 hours) baby boy continued the trend and started Saturday night/Sunday morning with 3 hours 20 minutes! Yes! 💪
Number 2. We had another group of friends come over to meet our baby boy, and it was a beautiful afternoon that we shared together. The catch-ups are well and truly beginning. ❤
Number 3. After meeting in bed (once Hubbie had put baby girl to bed and I had put baby boy to bed), he told me that as he kissed her goodnight, he’d told her that she was being amazing and “doing a great job” at home, helping us, despite the often trying times.
And she’d whispered back to him “you are too.”
Awww. ❤🥰
Then he told me that I was doing an amazing job too, before I told him that HE was doing an amazing job supporting us all, and then we closed our eyes to sleep.
Happiness Sunday. 🙏❤
I definitely feel better when I have something to look forward to, someone to see, somewhere to go. Sleep or no sleep (obviously sleep PREFERRED 🙌) it’s these things that keep me sane and moving on, keeping on.
I headed out with baby girl and baby boy today. Just to the Main Street, to check out some stuff, buy this, see that. It was a bit nerve-wracking at first, since baby boy cracked it as soon as we entered the shopping centre.
But I had my helper, my mini me with me. 🙏❤ She was there to help me out, push the pram, pass me this, hold that down, so on and so forth, so that baby boy eventually went down for a nap in the pram and we got our shopping done.
It was made more apparent to me how much I relied on her, and what great support she was to me, when at the start of our shopping trip we got into the lift with another mum and her toddler in a stroller. She heard baby boy crying, and said sympathetically “poor baby.”
I told her that we were still in the newborn stage, and she joked she didn’t miss thst time at all (who can blame her?) before telling me I was doing well to be out at all, that she’d be too scared to have done the same.
It was baby girl’s support. She made all the difference. ❤🙏
I don’t know what I’d do without her, where I’d be. 🙏 (Not at the shops with a 5 and a half week old, that’s for sure!)
37. That’s how many days I’ve survived this newborn phase.
🙏🙏
I lay on the couch, eyes closed, with the faint sounds of Oscar nominees being called out from the nearby TV.
I was trying to do the good thing and sleep, because baby boy was asleep. Trying to switch off from the outside world, when every bone in my body argued it didn’t want to, I’m not a day sleeper.
But at this stage of my life, I HAVE to.
And then the winner for Best Actress… “Michelle Yeoh.”
I nodded to myself, pretending I wasn’t listening, knowing full well she was a big contender leading into the awards. I know this because when you sit on the couch and breastfeed for so long and so often, you hear a lot of various news, both factual, worldly and celebrity.
I felt the beginnings of light sleep start to tickle my senses, but so too did the winner’s words, as they crept into my sleep space.
“…And ladies, don’t let anyone tell you that you are past your prime.”
To loud cheering applause, and a sleepy SmikG who had to smile in appreciation and agreeableness.
If anyone knows about the Indian Summer, it’s me. 🙌❤
“Singin’, don’t worry, about a thing
‘Cause every little thing, is gonna be all right.”
56 weeks ago I went to a pretty local lookout, took a photo, shared a song.
I know this because my insta account told me.
Tonight I played the same song. To think what I was worried about then, I have now, and what I’m worried about now, I would have killed for then, but also, hopefully, I will have… soon… very soon.
“Singin’ sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true
Sayin’, “This is my message to you, whoo-hoo.”
carcrashgratitude 