#1366 Moving on when shit gets hard

Ohhhhh.

It’s been one of those days.

I have been to the vet more in these past 6 weeks for our cat Mister F, then I ever have been for the 11 and a half years I had my childhood cat.

We’ve had Mister F for only 7 months now.

Lately, it feels like shit just keeps getting thrown my way.

Smile. Nod. No, things are getting better…

Shit.

Breathe in. Deep sigh. Step forward…

Shit storm.

Hold my head high. Shake the shit off…

MORE shit.

So there comes a time when you just go ‘enough is enough.’

I am going to whinge, and I am going to be cranky.

I am ALLOWED to be.

It’s been one of those days.

But then again, I laugh to myself (sarcastically of course)…

It feels like it’s been one of those weeks.

Months.

Shock horror… years even.

NOT JOKING.

Despite my hissy fits and bitch-fests about life today, I actually realised something.

I wasn’t throwing in the towel… because doing so would be so easy, right?

You stop trying. You stop hoping. You stop trying to make things better for yourself.

You just give up and… WAIL.

But I wasn’t there today. And I think despite all the crap flung my way, I felt a bit like “huh… okay.”

I wasn’t trying to pep myself out of it. I wasn’t trying to deny myself the negative feelings either. That would have been a disservice to myself, and been a bad move in the long run.

Withheld feelings are never a good thing.

But I just dealt with it. I am still, dealing with it. I think what I have come to realise is that this gratitude game takes a lot of work… even for a glass half-full gal like myself.

You can’t control everything. You can’t control life.

But you can control yourself. And sure I was no Mary Poppins today…

But also, that wouldn’t have helped me.

I guess what I am trying to say, is I am happy with my healthy reaction.

Pissed off. Cranky pants. Shit happens.

Shit happens again. And again. And again.

And so bloody what?Β 

Let’s move on now.

YES. Let’s move on… NOW.

 

#1358 People about town

It’s become second nature for me to find simple and small things to be grateful for.

Firstly, because life is often routine. There is school and work and groceries and cleaning, and if you can’t see beyond all of that and take joy in the little moments, well frankly you are going to go mad waiting for that ‘big party’ where you think you will have a rad time.

Chances are you won’t. Your child will be clingy, your hubbie will be sick, and there you will be in the corner with a coughing partner and child tugging on your arm as you chug down another wine.

Don’t wait to be happy.

Secondly… well because the little things, really are the best things. If you can find happiness in everyday moments, imagine how much better off you will be? Imagine all the opportunities of satisfaction, self-fulfilment, and growth that you will experience in this state?

I am happy, because 3 years on from our Seachange I am starting to notice people around town.

Wait, what? If you think you missed the post where I celebrated our 3 years here, don’t worry, I actually forgot myself… (shakes head). It wasn’t until midnight ticked over the day after our moving-house anniversary, that I realised the day that had just been, and went ‘d’oh.’

And it has taken a while… but lo and behold, I bumped into two people today that I knew… within a space of hours.

Sure, I see people around a lot more now. A lot of them I’ve come to know through baby girl’s school. But today I saw two such people within only a couple of hours, and the second one, was walking by my house! Why I never…

Moving to a side of town where we have no family or friends settled nearby has had its specific set of challenges. To be honest, it can, and has been at times, a very isolating experience.

But like everything in life, good things take time. And it hasn’t been something we’ve been able to push, or force… we had to just let it be.

And when you let things be, that’s often the moment that things seem to work out for you…

You just have to wait. Sometimes 3 years.

And then what you were waiting for, comes by your front door… LITERALLY.

πŸ˜‰

 

 

 

#1355 Hot October

Today was over 30 degrees.

30Β°. October 31st, Halloween night, and the air con was on, windows and doors wide open, and the promise of a long and hot summer, with such a hot summer day already in mid-Spring, on the back of other already hot days this month…

Well, the forecast, is good. 🌞

#1349 Finding Mister F again

Let me start off by saying I am definitely a cat person.

I say this because despite that fact, over the 6 months that we’ve had Mister F, my relationship with him has been kind of complicated.

I love him to pieces. Really I do.

But he scratches things he is not meant to.

Goes into rooms he is not meant to.

His fur drops around everywhere.

And there I am, scolding/blocking/picking up after him wherever he goes.

I follow him around so much to make sure he is not getting into trouble, I often feel like his personal bouncer. Only I am directing him out of the club, and not to the private room.

And yet again, despite all this… I was so happy to have him home today. I patted the couch next to me after he had settled a bit after his overnight vet excursion. Mister F had complications days ago and wasn’t well – the vet settled all that, hopefully forever… and when I showed him the spot next to me he happily jumped up on the couch.

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He lay there, the sunlight streaming through the window, white socks resting on the couch, his eyes closing slowly as my hand stroked his head, scratched his neck, and combed down the rest of his coat.

I know he is family now, because he pisses me off… but I still love him.

Welcome back home Mister πŸ˜‰

#1276 Birthday shopping

Shopping yesterday… and shopping today.

What am I meant to do anyway? Like I am buying a billion things for baby girl’s parties as I run around here, there and everywhere, so it cannot be expected that I will forget about moi…

Not when it is my birthday too!!!

Let’s just say between the last two days, I have a birthday outfit, somewhere.Β 

Don’t be jellyΒ yet. Motherhood has made my aesthetic thread needs fall majorly to the wayside this year. ThatΒ and all my recent ills and sores, and I am waaayyyy deserving of some retail therapy.

I am starting to really enjoy birthday month 😊

Too right. πŸ˜‰

 

#1270 Books where they should be

Today furniture was moved around.

Hubbie went to task putting some flat packs together while I blew my nose incessantly, sneezed when some stray dust blew my way from the open Ikea packages, and hurriedly drank lemon and honey tea in between holding the instruction book open and pointing at what Hubbie should do next.

Sneeze.

Sniffle.

Sigh.

And after all the arranging of new furniture, and re-shuffling of old, I am pleased to report…

Bibliophiles, the books are back.

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I lost my bookshelf a long while ago to baby girl’s toys… it wasn’t even her fault, it was entirely my own suggestion. And in this massive re-arranging, my books went in various, not very nice places all around the house.

It was not ideal.

But today, they are back where they began… and the shelf is entirely for me! (except for that cassette player for Hubbie, temporary though!;)) Looking at it makes me so happy, and also, almost, made me forget about my flu…

Until I re-shuffled some books and dust got to me and I sneezed.

But the books. Ohhh, the books. I have little section left at the bottom to assure myself, I am allowed to buy more books…

After all, it IS birthday month. πŸ˜‰

#1257 The month of the Roar

I honestly had forgotten. It had completely slipped my mind.

Until I saw it was my cousin’s birthday on social media… I hadn’t realised.

Hadn’t realised, the month of the Lion had begun.

ROAR!

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Photo by Jonatan Pie on Unsplash

And not only had I forgotten, but I had failed to remember for a couple of days already…

The sign of the lion started on the 23rd of July.

(Face palm).

How could I forget one of the most exciting times of the year???

I feel things heating up already… take that as you will πŸ˜‰