The grass is always greener.
We are always looking for that which we don’t have, looking behind us to what has happened, or looking too far in front of us to even appreciaite what is happening… TO US.
I was waking up in bed post 9:40am this morning. Unlike other mornings, there was no peep from baby girl in her room. She has been sick, and having been so tired from it all, has not been coming up to my bed in the mornings.
I tossed. I turned. I tried to wake up.
Come on wake up!
It was hard. I had grown accustomed to 1am bedtimes. The house goes to sleep, and I stay awake, doing stuff, writing, catching up on things that fill me with purpose and enrich my soul.
And then I wake late the next day.
Wake up! You need to get used to term 3 starting next week.
Ahh, the dreaded back-to-school start. I pondered. I thought. I wondered if the cat was meowing in the laundry yet. And then I moved my mind back to my place in bed.
It occurred to me… isn’t this what I dream of when baby girl IS at school? These sleep-ins, from late nights, leading to slow mornings and cruisy days? Wasn’t this what I longed for for weeks on end, and now I was feeling guilty, almost rushed because of it?
So what if the kids went back to school next week! This was my last Friday, alone in bed,, with the winds raging outside and the temps at an all-time low…
If there was any day I was allowed to stay in bed, it was then. NOW.
On a cold and wintery July’s day on the school holidays.
5-10 minutes passed, and I still got up. I made the bed and wandered on down to put on the heater.
But my perspective had changed. I wasn’t worried anymore. I wasn’t getting guilt what I should be doing.
Because I was just doing ME, and making myself happy.
Take it in.