#1897 Here comes the light

Today we got most of our lights replaced.

Our old, ancient, 3 globe flowery, faded, burnt-out, vomit-coloured light fittings were replaced, by simple white downlights.

Flush with the ceiling. Not hanging dangerously low, so low you can whack it out of it’s screw so easily. The number of times someone has knocked the ones in the lounge room while dancing, doing yoga, or just stretching up in the air…

Or in our bedroom, they hang so low, they might as well lie on our bed between us. 😬

Or, they used to.

Or like the low light that was in baby girl’s room… one simple glass shaped globe, that until recently was also hanging a bit too low for comfort, proven when she swung something and the entire glass casing shattered around her.

They aren’t just ugly, they are bloody dangerous.

And now, they’re all gone!

Our house has been lifted, the ceilings feel higher, and we are suddenly in line with with the rest of our ‘home’ vision.

#1891 Happy-go-lucky day

I was glad it was raining and grey today.

A home day is what I needed.

A day to do… whatever.

I had a ‘maybe’ playdate penned for today… but when I saw the sky, I messaged baby girl’s friend’s mum, and wrote “we’re staying inside today.”

It was just what the doctor ordered.

And what exactly was it on his prescription list?

Make some chicken soup.

Make some muffins.

Set up Monopoly on the coffee table and come back to it 3 times during the day!

Do a work out and lie on the floor puffing with jelly legs afterwards.

And then, for some balance… TAKE AWAY!

🤣

I got a wonderful surprise when I found out I had been published too! Not in the traditional ‘print’ form, this outlet is not your usual writers go-to… but nonetheless, EXCITING. 🤩

More on that soon…

But, today was what I needed. Doing whatever, whenever, just chilling and taking it easy. Because tomorrow routine starts again, proper, when I wake up earlier to take baby girl to school!

Waaaa! Holidays went too quick… 😒😁

#1887 It’s Friday then…

I love Fridays.

Who doesn’t?

I’ve previously written about the anticipatory excitement one gets when Friday rolls around.

For me, when 3pm on a Friday comes around. 😁😁😁😁

Hell yeah! It’s the best. Knowing you have days off ahead, is FAR better than any of those days off, let’s be honest.

It’s the anticipation.

So today as I clocked off from my work office at home, logged off my laptop, and headed into the kitchen where baby girl was happily waiting, I started singing…

“It’s Friday then, then Saturday Sunday what?”

We’ve been singing this song ever since a Friday has rolled along, ever since we saw the absolutely fantastic video of that guy that just jumps out of the car and dances to his hearts content when he hears the song.

And so we did. Baby girl and I ripped up a storm on the kitchen dancefloor, because…

“It’s Friday then, then Saturday Sunday what?”

#1877 Appreciating the little things

The above post title feels really redundant to write, because isn’t that what this whole blog is about?

But I’ve been reflecting a lot on life at this moment in time, versus life at this time last year.

It is so different, but I don’t need to tell you that anyway.

Easter this year was wonderful, and when I think of how it was last year… well to be ghastly honest, the end of the day was pretty dark and depressing.

Last year’s Easter school holidays were monotone… home home home. And I was working from home too, so it was work work work.

This year we’re planning all the fun things we can do with baby girl, out and about town.

Last year, libraries were closed. SHUT DOWN.

This afternoon, I was seated in a library chair reading about writer Kurt Vonnegut as baby girl piled high a stack of books to take home.

We even stopped at a grocery shop, sans masks, and seriously, I am still getting used to the freedom.

No matter where things lead us this year… I remind myself, we are in a better place than where we were last year.

Forever, getting there. 🙏💖

#1856 Writerly wanderings

Finally, a DAY OFF.

A day without jobs. A day without appointments. A day without anything really urgent to do, where I could just let my feet lead me wherever they felt the pull.

It was EXACTLY what I needed.

I dropped off baby girl at school. The clouds were parting, and the sun was already starting to kick in. I kinda drove aimlessly, yet at the same time knowing precisely where I was headed.

To the water.

I walked. I sat. I looked around. I thought. I felt the burn in my legs as I walked up stairs, up red-earth cliff faces that showed sand and dust so raw and bright as the earth’s core.

Later I went to the grocery shop… sure, a job, but I did it slowly, and ambled around the store, with more ‘me time’ in mind…

I got myself a takeaway coffee, and at home headed up to the balcony to research, edit and read and write, for almost 2 hours.

Ahhh.

I felt at home. When everything else around me crumbles and falls, things don’t work out the way I’d like, and the future feels uncertain, confusing, and I feel lost… my writing makes me happy.

It’s that one guarantee, that one escape, that one thing, that makes me so light and free.

It makes me feel at home. The process brings me such joy, and I don’t even need to tell you what I did the rest of the day…

Because wandering, writing, musing. Bringing myself back to centre, made me, ME again. That is enough.

😁💖

#1837 Class yoga

Today I did something that I haven’t done for a long time.

Yoga… in a class.

I started doing home-based practice last year during covid, before other things turned pear-shaped… there were also a couple of online videos here and there, but…

Let me tell YOU. Class yoga is a whole different ball game.

You don’t get to break for as long as you want between poses. The moves come faster after one another. And then the clincher, you actually do try harder when there are 15 other people in the room with you!

Today the instructor started with a whole lot of breathwork. And I was sitting there cross-legged with hands in prayer pose, thinking to myself –

“Crap. This is gonna be too easy.”

Ha! How wrong I was. I was huffing, breathing deeply, building up a sweat, taking off my hoodie… it was intense. The kind of thigh-burning, leg quivering, heart-pumping and wobbly kind of intense that you get with yoga.

But I loved one thing that the instructor said. She was likening a really hard pose she was going to get us to try, to life. She said –

“You probably will fail. But you’ll get up, and you’ll try and try again. It’s like life. You fail, but you try, and eventually, you’ll get there.”

It was this little moment of motivation, of high significance for me, in amongst downward dogs, cobras, and triangle poses, that made me smile, and even tear up a little.

I too, struggled to achieve poses today, and had to re-centre and adjust several times.

But I’m very used to doing that. Hopefully soon, I will find greater balance. 💖🧘‍♂️

#1824 Goodbye number 14

Phwoar. What a day.

Today was the day that we said goodbye to our family home.

The home that my parents have lived in for 40 years.

The home that my sister spent growing up as a teenager, all the way until she got married.

The home that’s the only childhood, family home I’ve ever known… that I lived in for 25 years until I got married.

Goodbye, number 14.

It was an emotionally bittersweet day. Emotional because oh God, all of the above! So many memories are in every inch, every corner, every crevice of that house.

Through the rush to get everything out of the house this morning, I tried to pause every so often, look around, take a breath, and say a personal thanks to the house that made my years growing up, the best in the world.

Here is the emotional part.

I was reflecting on my life spent there as I walked around the empty rooms, a bit taken aback by the hollowness of it all. The furniture, furnishings, and all the photos and trinkets that made it such a loved home, were all gone.

But oh, those walls. If those walls could talk.

Those walls would speak of happiness, of laughter. Of sadness and shock, family coming together, and family celebrating to make the most out of life.

And love. SO much love.

Memories hit me as I walked into rooms, turned corners. Looked this way, that. People from the past resurfaced, along with people from the present.

In the lounge room, I saw myself sitting on the floor while my parents watched footy on the TV.

In the kitchen I saw my Mum cooking up a feast, our family sitting down to eat at the small round table, perfect for us in size, so perfect, to keep us tight and close together, as always.

In the garden I saw happiness. Friends, cousins, brimming around, enjoying a drink on a hot Summer’s day, folk music from the garage wafting over and adding to the festive atmosphere of it all.

The garage, ohhhh, the garage. Where so, so, so many parties and events were had. Birthdays. Milestones. Weddings. Day after weddings! New Years. And all of the Christmases that Mum cooked up a storm, catering for over 30 people like it was an absolute breeze, even though it wasn’t.

She made it look effortless.

Those were the days. Those were the BEST days.

The park next door. Hearing the squeals of happiness from our younger cousins as they took advantage of the play proximity.

At the front door, I saw my sister being led out in her wedding dress by my parents… then I saw myself, doing the same.

Deep breath.

The dining room showed me all of us, our big family, as we are now. The original foursome, us, being my parents, sister and I, but now with our Hubbies and our kids, filling up the table, eating heaps, drinking more, and playing music off of youtube on the mobile until the late hours of the night.

In my bedroom. The bedroom that I spent 15 years of my life sleeping, dreaming and hoping in. I had another room for the first 10 years of my life, but I claimed this one, sister’s one, after she got married and moved out.

It’s always been the better room.

I sat in my old room. Took some photos around me. And then here, I began to cry.

I remember watching Video Hits for hours on weekend mornings.

My childhood cat scratching at my window, wanting to be let in, and then me opening the window to shoo her, upset she had woken me… but when she jumped down from the window sill outside, I thought stuff it, you’ve woken me now… and so I would call her back in (she must have thought I was a crazy bipolar cat owner) and she’d snuggle up next to me as I slept a little more.

I’d open up that window, and talk to friends through it.

I talked to SO MANY people, through it.

I listened to music for hours on my bed.

I had sleepovers in that room.

I had sleepovers in that house! On the lounge room floor, covered in blankets and sleeping bags.

When Croatia played Australia in the 2006 World Cup, Hubbie-then-boyfriend and I watched it, me running around the house with a Cro flag when Croatia scored a goal, and Hubbie running around the house with an Aussie flag when they scored a goal.

I don’t remember who won that game. All I remember is the memories.

All the people who came, and went from that house. It would be in the hundreds. Friends, family, people who I grew up with, grew apart from, so many people have touched base in that house, shared a laugh, a dance, a drink, and made a memory.

Even baby girl. It was the first place that she ever visited, after her own home.

Speaking of baby girl… My waters broke in that house! And my own Mum’s waters broke in there, when she was pregnant with me!

Both sister’s Hubbie, and my Hubbie, met my parents for the first time in THAT lounge room…

News broke. Secrets shared. Heavy discussions were had. Tears shed.

People were welcomed. People were greeted.

People came in, and immediately knew that there was love. They were safe. They were in a memorable place.

And so today, the time came. We walked through the house. We took our final photos.

And we drove off, for good.

That was seriously bitter, right?

Where is the sweet?

Well, it comes with the choice. How blessed are we that this was born of my parents decision to move closer to me and sis, and not because of a bad circumstance.

How lucky are we that we get to say goodbye, together, in the best way possible… and how lucky that we still get to take ALL the memories with us?

Including most importantly, the people.

I am so looking forward to making just as many happy memories in their new abode. 🏡🏡

But my heart will always hold a very special and dear place, for number 14.

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

#1821 The blue sky

I couldn’t wait to finish work today. I drove to pick up baby girl from school, and stepped out of the car to this:

Blue skies.

Beautiful.

Blissful.

So clear, so crisp, up ahead, without even a spot of a cloud.

I breathed in the mild summer air, grateful for the warmth surrounding me, looking forward to better days.

Always. 💖

#1810 Weird but beautiful gloom

I found joy in a really simple thing today.

I had just made myself a tea. It was raining outside, no wind. So it was the type of rain that I liked… already a plus. 😊

The steam from the tea rose up past my monitor as I sat back down at my work desk.

I lit a candle, and watched the area around me, GLOW.

And with it, so did my heart.

Suddenly I was happy.

I was grateful for this feeling. I had been counting all the things I wasn’t happy about, for weeks now… so this simple act and subsequent feeling came as a pleasant and heartwarming surprise.

All from steam rising.

A candle wick glowing.

Rain falling.

So so gloomy… yet I felt anything but.

Allow yourself to be surprised by the little things.

#1802 A surf beach

You’d think living within a 5 minute drive of one of our most fave beaches, that we wouldn’t need to go anywhere else, right?

The grass is always greener, anyone?

Our beach is family friendly. Kiosk and toilets, right there.

Did I mention 5 minutes from home?

But it’s a bay beach, not a surf beach.

And herein lies our grass greener conundrum.

Which is why we went to a surf beach today.

The funny thing is, there wasn’t even much surf. But that didn’t stop hubbie and baby girl.

We’d bought a family boogie board last week, intending to use it during our getaway when my car spectacularly broke down in the middle of a busy road, with water birds adding to the chaos multiple times as they crossed the two-laned busy tourist road.

So the boogie board didn’t happen there, which is why we were so keen as to use it at a beach on our side of the bay.

Hubbie and baby girl made the most out of the waves they got.

And me? I found the greatest pleasure in sitting on the wet sand, watching the waves pull in closer and closer, watching the two of them catch wave after wave, and then suddenly –

WHOOSH! 💦💦💦💦

The water had reached me on the sand and enveloped my butt. 🤣

We’ll definitely go there again… but still, there’s no place like home-beach. 🌅❤