#1890 Dishes and dancing

Let me share something mundane, but nonetheless something that we all vary widely on.

Chores.

I actually, don’t mind doing the dishes. Just as well, because I do them 3-4 times a day. I find it somewhat soothing and therapeutic, the very act of water running and cleaning things an automatic act, allowing my mind to wander and reflect.

But ironing? I put off the task as much as I can.

In fact, I don’t think there’s much need for ironing. There, I said it!

Even though I don’t mind doing the dishes, when I’m washing those at the end of the day post-dinner, I like to put music on.

Tonight before dinner, I had on Bedtime Stories, one of my all-time fave albums. I’m in a certain type of mood when I play that album. I can switch easily from the daydreamy and wispy ‘Inside of Me,’ to the raw and upfront ‘Human Nature’ with lyrics like “I’m not your bitch don’t hang your shit on me.”

I absolutely LOVE the album.

But after dinner I put on something else. Something both baby girl and I like.

The Dirty Dancing soundtrack!

She seriously loves the songs. She’s even put it on on her own, just to bop along and dance while we are in the other room.

She loves the high-pitched ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry,’ the mashed potato and twist references in ‘Do You Love Me?’ and even boogies down to the Merengue!

How lovely is it to enjoy some of life’s simple chores, like dishes, accompanied by music? 🎵💖

Again, little things. It’s all I have.

#1885 Keep that snail pace

All I can say is, don’t give up.

Things aren’t perfect, and they can always get better. But I find myself at a point where I feel like despite everything, there is nothing else to do BUT keep going.

Keep moving.

Keep yourself distracted with passions, personal pursuits. If some things aren’t working out, well then find what IS, and run after that at full-speed.

But also, don’t be hard on yourself. I found myself the other night nearly crying with despair to Hubbie.

“And I want to do this, and do this, and I’m trying to do this, and then I’ve got my book! Then I want to do this, AND this…”

The list goes on and on and on.

We put sooo much pressure on ourselves.

We want to create this perfect family life. But we have to also work, and make money. Maintain the house. Cook wholesome food. Clean. Wash clothes every second of every day (or so it seems). Feed people.

But also chase your dreams! Be fit, exercise. Eat mindfully. Take time out, but don’t waste a second!

Play with your kids. Give yourself me time. Take walks. Sleep in. Keep in regular contact with family, friends.

What the actual fuck am I to do with all that?

Something has GOTTA give.

I’ve been giving so, so much lately. I can only do things, and move forward in incremental steps, and it’s these tiny baby steps I’ve been taking that are making me feel like things are actually moving.

Snail place, but still moving forward.

And that leads me back to, don’t give up.

It’s so tiresome and banal, telling people to not give up. I’ve felt like telling people over the last shit year who’ve passed out that quote, to piss off and shut up.

But I find it to be true, too true. Even in super-crawl slow-mo pace, I find it to be the most factual of all things.

Keep your head up. Look at what positives you can… even if it’s the blanket on you right now. A hot drink. Sun peeking through the clouds. Someone sending you a nice message. A cute cat.

I am skilled in the art of looking for things in the smallest of spaces. I should know. It’s awfully difficult, but it can be done.

And I guess, it’s nice to be passing out this advice, instead of looking for it.

Progress.

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich on Pexels.com

#1877 Appreciating the little things

The above post title feels really redundant to write, because isn’t that what this whole blog is about?

But I’ve been reflecting a lot on life at this moment in time, versus life at this time last year.

It is so different, but I don’t need to tell you that anyway.

Easter this year was wonderful, and when I think of how it was last year… well to be ghastly honest, the end of the day was pretty dark and depressing.

Last year’s Easter school holidays were monotone… home home home. And I was working from home too, so it was work work work.

This year we’re planning all the fun things we can do with baby girl, out and about town.

Last year, libraries were closed. SHUT DOWN.

This afternoon, I was seated in a library chair reading about writer Kurt Vonnegut as baby girl piled high a stack of books to take home.

We even stopped at a grocery shop, sans masks, and seriously, I am still getting used to the freedom.

No matter where things lead us this year… I remind myself, we are in a better place than where we were last year.

Forever, getting there. 🙏💖

#1865 Happiness on six legs

What makes me happy…

Sunshine?

Coffee?

Cats?

Sleeping in?

My family?

Simple things?

All of the above…

Yes, the last one is true. But a really small thing also makes me happy, like teeny, weeny, tiny, and I’ve seen it twice in two days now.

Hubbie sent me a photo today from work. Something had travelled in with him to work, from home…

Can you see what it is? Look closer. Closer again.

ZOOM in.

Yes, it’s a ladybird! It was resting on a towel in his car, and he picked it up on his hand, where it proceeded to fly away from once he was out of the car…

But he remembered what I always say.

He made a wish. ✨

You HAVE to make a wish. That is like, the thing you do when a ladybird is on your hand.

We saw one yesterday too, outside baby girl’s car side window after we had picked her up from school…

I don’t see these little guys often, but they make me so happy. They feel special, like their presence is so random, they are so little, so hard to be seen, and then –

Why, hello there!

Yes. I did say, little things.

But as I always say, (again)…

Sometimes the little things, are the big things.

💖🐞

#1831 When the hose goes up

Can you think of a more carefree time of your life, than when you were a child, hanging around your parent in the yard on a hot summer’s day, as they watered the garden…

You know.

And the hose, went up?

Showering you with droplets of water in a kaleidoscope of colours, filtered by happy squeals, to the background of smiles all around?

Tonight the hose went up at our place.

I was hot, but not just the hot that envelopes you in temperature… it was the kind of hot that starts at your centre, and then burns outwards, filling you entirely and burning you up whole.

I sat at the front of the house, watching Hubbie water the garden, and baby girl follow him. Then I stepped down to them, and asked –

“Hey… you mind turning that hose up for a sec? I need to cool down.”

Up the hose turned, with a devilish smile. I cringed at the cold drops, jumping in my spot, and baby girl ran circles around us, coming under the shower of rain again and again.

And we did it, again and again.

It made it all better. 💖

Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

#1810 Weird but beautiful gloom

I found joy in a really simple thing today.

I had just made myself a tea. It was raining outside, no wind. So it was the type of rain that I liked… already a plus. 😊

The steam from the tea rose up past my monitor as I sat back down at my work desk.

I lit a candle, and watched the area around me, GLOW.

And with it, so did my heart.

Suddenly I was happy.

I was grateful for this feeling. I had been counting all the things I wasn’t happy about, for weeks now… so this simple act and subsequent feeling came as a pleasant and heartwarming surprise.

All from steam rising.

A candle wick glowing.

Rain falling.

So so gloomy… yet I felt anything but.

Allow yourself to be surprised by the little things.

#1748 The risk of the belly-ache

I am still in recovery mode.

Which means, no sudden movements for me.

And that includes, no crying… AND no laughing.

It’s turned me into a bit of a robot. I have to maintain an even expression of calm, composure, not over-reacting in any which way to the negative spectrum of things…

Or even the positive side.

But my days are pretty bland right now. I can’t do much. They consist of watching:

Dawson’s Creek

Bold and the Beautiful

Cheers

Angel, and

Friends.

I can watch any of these multiple times, in any order, totally randomly, simply according to my mood.

And then in between, I’ll throw in a couple (dozen) rounds of wordscapes on my phone.

🙄

If I do get confident or get a burst of can-do attitude, that is quickly quashed when I move the right side of my body, or bend over to the mid-way mark, therefore resulting in a sharp shooting pain in my right shoulder.

So back down, I sit.

But tonight, I got brave. And I thought it was the funniest think ever to prank hubbie. I was going through supermarket recipe mags to see which I should keep (a great sitting down, non-moving activity) when I saw a recipe for something that had recently upset his stomach…

With the biggest resolve and seriousness, I swallowed my grin and said “Hubbie! Look at this! Do you want me to make this?”

I pointed to the recipe, then waited as his eyes wafted over the title, catching the look pass his face as his expression went ‘what the?’ then turned to me slowly with an “are you bloody kidding me?” face.

I could not breathe. I clutched my belly, terrified my insides would burst out at any second, trying SO HARD to hold in my stifled breaths of laughter, but yet they came, squeezing out, making me sound like a strangled animal or something.

God it was worth it.

Yes a few things might have broken in the process… But oh well.

It’ll heal.

As I’ll heal.

As I’m healing every day. 🙏💖✨🥰

Photo by Rodolfo Quiru00f3s on Pexels.com

#1682 Day 184 of getting there: Right quote, right now

Every so often my daily calendar tells me exactly how I’m feeling.

I turned the page over later in the day… so when it told me what I was feeling, after I was already feeling it… I thought it was more than coincidental.

100%. I couldn’t agree more. And I did find something tangible to be grateful for.

This picture baby girl drew. Of a mouse. I was not my usual self, and when she showed me this picture, the last thing on my mind was observing and admiring a picture of a so-called mouse… as she called it, “a different mouse.”

But the colours and intention and creativity got me, and it made my lips curve upwards.

But sometimes it’s not the tangible things that grab our heart. I was also thinking of quotes that didn’t jump out at me today, and this one came into my mind:

“A problem shared is a problem halved.”

And that is the biggest truth for me today. Sometimes we don’t need a quote to come along and literally stare us in the face… sometimes that quote is inside of us, telling us that truth, ALL ALONG.

The second part of this proverb? It’s the part I love the most:

“A joy shared is a joy doubled.”

That part I’m looking forward to the most.