#1028 Nothing’s changed

It’s been a good 4 months since we’ve last seen our ‘best man and fam.’ We always say we need to do it more often, but alas, LIFE happens people.

The kids grow… interests change… news happens around us, and to all of us…

And yet, our times together do not change.

We still laugh.

We still sing.

We still play.

We still love, respect and admire one another.

We still love doughnuts…

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And baby girl still goes to sit next to her buddy when it is ice cream time 🙂

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We definitely won’t leave it for 4 months next time. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

#925 Funny convo sends me roaring

“I don’t know what’s wrong today.”

Those are the words a fellow Mum said today as she walked away from her daughter during her swimming class alongside baby girl. Her daughter was upset, not listening, not cooperating, and as this Mum walked away coining this phrase, she smiled tensely.

Lady, I hear you. Those words are the living mantra of ALL of parenthood.

“I don’t know what’s wrong today.”

As I laughed internally at the very true nature of those words, feeling sorry for the Mum, and thinking I too have had those really hard days, I realised that it’s a sentiment not just reserved for children… but for adults as well. Because we are big kids too, aren’t we?

Sometimes we’re hungry. Sometimes we’re tired. Sometimes we’re sick. Sometimes it’s the Moon. Other times it’s our raging hormones. Whatever is the case, we too have those moments, those days (even those weeks or months, even) where we say –

“I don’t know what’s wrong (insert timeframe).”

Well, funnily enough, my timeframe was today, this morning in fact, and I had been in the worst and shittiest mood WAY before baby girl’s swimming lesson was even in the horizon. And no they weren’t post-holiday ending blues. It was just drab. Super cold. I was still sick. In fact I was copping it bad since coming back. Baby girl was also sick. She was staying home from kinder because of that fact. We were a WHOLE LOTTA FUN TO BE AROUND. And I was also super-duper-super-duper-super-duper erratic and emotional.

A REALLY bad combo.

I was having a whine, a moan, while all 3 of us were in the car together – Hubbie, baby girl and I. We were in between heading out and heading in, to be honest we had NO IDEA what we were doing…

I had already received a message from my sister about some weekend plans, and asking when we could talk… but I was so cranky-pants, that I just couldn’t. I don’t like getting on the phone to my Mum or sister and being in one of those states, because it doesn’t help anyone, and I just hate putting them in that zone. It’s not like I’m sad, or I need help… I’m just shitty. I’m upset, then I get them upset, and then EVERYONE is upset. It’s just no good.

So while we were in the car doing absolutely nothing, I texted her quickly. Just a ‘hey, all good, I’ll call you later because I feel like shit to be honest XO’ type message.

I soon got one back telling me that she was feeling particularly sick and crappy too – oh no… was it going around? I sent her my well wishes in return, and then, had a funny exchange with Hubbie that quite frankly, made me smile. He didn’t find it too funny which made it more so (HA HA HA).

So I decided to text my sister, hoping she might find the humour in it:

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Oh, how I roared with laughter at the ‘Nah!’ Baby girl was in the back asking “what did Ja Ja say?” (her pet name to my sister) and then I showed Hubbie the message, laughing out loud even more.

All of my anger, all of my negative emotions, all of the crappy-ness of the day just flew out and away from me at my loud guffaws, and I swear, I immediately felt lighter. I was happy to learn that Sis did, too.

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And suddenly I was grateful. I was grateful I had reached out when I was feeling most shitty and the least like I wanted to reach out. And in doing so, both mine, and my Sister’s days became a little brighter, a little lighter.

It just goes to show, sometimes sharing the angst with those you love, can actually help…

And if you’re lucky, you might be able to laugh about it too 🙂

 

#902 My heaven sent Angel

Today, while not feeling too happy, baby girl rested on the edge of the table, trying to get a peek at my face, downcast and heavy.

“Mama, what’s wrong?”

I sniffed. “Mama’s sad.”

“Why?”

I sighed. The sigh we adults make when we can’t explain. When it is too heavy for 4 year-old naïve and happy ears. When we want to explain, but can’t find the words.

“I’ll tell you about it one day. It’s ok honey.”

I continued my despondent stare, as she followed with “Ohhhhh.”

Then suddenly, she ran off.

She brought back her toy ukulele from her play area, stood right in front of me, and proceeded to play.

“Mama, me make you feel better.”

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Words can’t describe the rush of love, gratitude, passion and deep acknowledgment I felt when she said that and started playing her instrument. They were just strums on a toy, but it was the most sincere, heart-felt and beautiful music I have ever heard.

How could my heart not burst with joy? How could this loving action not override my sadness?

Then later, when I was on the couch still looking sullen, she went “I know I know!”

And she jumped in front of me, pulling funny faces at centimetre distance.

I couldn’t help it. I cracked up. My tears of sorrow turned into tears of laughter as she changed her faces to silly and crazy and funny again. I laughed again and again, marvelling at the beautiful and meaningful intention of baby girl to be so eager to see me smile again.

There are things I get down about. But today, being the recipient of my baby girl’s love and care, loyalty and devotion, well I felt so special. So important. I realised that although there are things getting to me, I was given an angel a long while ago, an angel to look after me and pick me up, make me smile and keep me going when times get tough…

And that angel is my beautiful baby girl. At only 4, she has more of a caring and sincere nature than many people my age. She is an extraordinary soul. And although there are things, like any human, that get me down…

I need not fear. I need not worry. I need not cry. Because my angel is there beside me, playing her ukulele and pulling funny faces ’til I get through… ♥♥♥♥

#898 Healing laughter

Last night when going to bed, I just wasn’t feeling myself. I was off. Down.

But then in amongst my internal searching for ways I could make myself feel better, I had a fabulous idea.

I could make myself laugh.

I held onto the thought, vowing I would put it into action the next day, and fell asleep on the hope of laughter.

This morning it happened. I was still feeling down and out, and this Winter weather has been seriously dragging me down with its severity and longevity.

I pressed the youtube button on the remote, and searched for a name that has brought me a lot of smiles lately – Sebastian Maniscalco

I’ve written about him before. I was first told about his popular “when you rang the doorbell 20 years ago vs today” skit ages ago by a friend, but I didn’t look it up then because, well I guess I wasn’t ready. Not in the way of not being ready for laughs, but just in the way of life preoccupying me and taking me away from doing things for myself…

like LAUGHING ’til I CRIED.

I brought up an 1 hour and 15 minute comedy routine of his that I’ve seen bits of, but that I’ve never watched in full.

Today, as baby girl was at kinder, and the winds raged outside, I watched it in full.

I smiled, I giggled, and I roared with laughter.

And though my melancholy remained in the background, I was uplifted by the fact that there is happiness out there, laughter to be had, and hope for good times is still around…

So get yourself comfy and watch the above routine, you won’t regret it 🙂

#890 The best Sisters day

I say the above confidently, and strongly, because although today was the absolute BEST, I know in my heart our share of BEST days will only get better and better as the times and the years roll on.

I am talking about times shared with my Sister.

Every time we do them, we always say they are long overdue. And they are – what with life and responsibilities, tasks and chores, Hubbies and kids, we always feel like finding time for ourselves, comes last.

But with the kids getting older, we are trying to become wiser.

By putting ourselves first. (Not always, or else the earth may tilt on its axis. No, we can only be selfish every once in a while 😉 ).

Because when we fill up our own energy and enthusiasm, zest for life and happiness restores, then we become better wives, mothers, friends, colleagues, and confidantes.

And who better to fill up your reserves with, than your Sister?

It started off with coffee, as all great days do…

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And then we headed over to Mornington Pier on what was a tremendously windy and cold July day, to ‘freshen up’ our senses and REALLY FEEL ALIVE, before indulging in a comforting and decadent lunch.

 

 

Those views. Just because you need some more…

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But it wasn’t the food or drink or dessert that made today amazing. Nor was it the savagely beautiful waves crashing against the pier, in amidst the stormy and temperamental ocean backdrop. No, it was simply, the company. Having someone to talk to, share your deepest secrets and desires and thoughts with, retelling happy occasions and past laughs, getting all deep and meaningful and just talking about all aspects of life… well that was the best part of the day. That was the soul nourishing bit. This is the type of stuff you live for. These are the connections you are meant to make.

These are the most important people in your life.

Which is why every day I spend with my sister, is the BEST day ever. ALWAYS ♥♥♥

#877 Shopping with my girl no.8

It is so true that forcing yourself to get out and about when you’re not up for it, can really do wonders for you.

And having a convincing baby girl on board to coax you along, helps too.

As a parent, it’s really hard to say no when your kids are so damn cute and clever.

So, feeling under the weather, light-headed and all spaced out, we headed over to Southland today, amidst headache, crankiness, and cramps…

ALL MINE.

It was great though. After our argument within 10 minutes of being there. We got the shouting out of the way (what will happen to me when she is 14, and not 4?!?!) and then proceeded to actually have, the best day.

Spending money is a really great way to feel better. I know I’ve said this before, but it is so true. We made use of our time, eating and cafe-ing our way throughout the centre, and getting a few bits and pieces along the way too.

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She got a couple of books that she loves, from discovering them at kinder/the library; I got a book on handling fear, something I desperately need as the necessity to share more of my writings and work grows, and with it the inevitable audience which quite frankly SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME; some Lego, and a dress for her; and for me/us, a Queen album.

But none of that quite compares to the highlight of our shopping day, which cost absolutely nothing, and gave both baby girl and I insurmountable laughs and joy. Because as we were lunching, I somehow decided to open up my messenger app and show her the filters you could place over our selfie portraits.

What a can of worms… and a fun one at that! We went through filter upon filter, checking them out, watching our faces and features change and distort upon the application, and we roared and shrieked with laughter. We had our lunches half-eaten in front of us, and here we were in a room full of people, cacking up like we were the only ones in it.

It was, absolutely the best. And well, that kind of ruins my earlier hypothesis…

Because it was FREE.

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#860 Saturday Night In no.4 (with Sebastian)

Quiet Saturday nights in aren’t just common or easy in Winter… they are necessary.

And after spending the last Saturday night working late ’til 1am, I tell you the thought of doing not much at home, and hanging out with my loves, sounded like an absolutely fantastic idea.

After our pizza takeout, I popped on YouTube on the TV. No, there were to be no tunes forecast from our screen tonight. I was in for a different kind of entertainment.

The belly-aching kind.

Just the other night I rediscovered a comedian and a skit I had watched a long time ago, but at the time didn’t delve too much into his act and his stuff to uncover anymore of his hilarity. On this night, after somehow stumbling across Sebastian Maniscalco, I spent a good 30 or so minutes on the couch, past midnight, silently dying of laughter and the inability to breathe properly due to said, INTENSE laughter.

The skit in question, is below. I played it for Hubbie tonight.

It is insanely hilarious. And being of a European background, even if it isn’t Italian… same same. We watched that one, plus about 10 others, our faces in permanent smile positions, our abs aching from the laughs.

We need more laughs like this. Enjoy the show:) ↑↑↑