#1610 Day 112 of getting there: okay with nothing

I’ve trained myself to always be productive.

And I’m so skilled at it, it’s engrained in my system.

I almost, can’t be unproductive… ever.

As soon as I have a spare moment… “What can I do?”

Or,

“What should I do?”

I’ve come to learn the value of taking it easy though. To step back from responsibilities, work, go-go-go, the coulda woulda shoulda mentality.

So today while not feeling the best, I embraced the art of nothing wholeheartedly.

I did nothing.

There was no “oooh, I’ll just whip this up”

“I’ll wash this”

“Better tidy that”

“I should catch up on that”

“I really need to read that.”

Nothing. None of it. I was on the couch watching 4 eps of Riverdale…

I stepped into the back yard…

I uploaded some photos…

That’s it. The extent of my nothingness.

The difference between today’s nothing, and other forced days of nothing, was that I didn’t feel any guilt about it.

So often we’re taught that to not do something, means we are somehow failing. We’re being inefficient, unproductive, wasting time, throwing life down the drain as it were.

But to wear ourselves down to the ground is not conducive to leading a happy life.

Days of nothing are absolutely necessary.

And the fact that I’m feeling less guilt about it, is progress. 💪

#1595 Day 97 of getting there: to have like-minded souls

It was wonderful that we got to see some of our dearest friends tonight.

Via Zoom, of course. 😉

We had a great chat with bestie and her hubbie via our computers. I tell you, technology is a Godsend at this phase of our lives.

You can’t be with loved ones, but by seeing them live, hearing their voices, and watching their mannerisms, in their lounge rooms, (with their pets!)… it’s the next best thing to being there with them.

After the video call was over Hubbie and I spoke about how wonderful it’d been to catch up with familiar faces, and people that we cared for. And I don’t know how it came into my mind, but I said to Hubbie “you don’t have to have the same interests. It’s not about that. It’s about finding like-minded people.”

Because we don’t all have to like the same things. Do the same things. Go to the same places. Eat the same food, or sleep the same way.

It’s about how our minds work. And you seek out people who are reflective of your morals, attitudes, and generally your way of life.

I don’t need everyone in my life to love writing. I don’t even need them to love reading. I don’t need them to love cats, yoga, the fact that I can’t stop listening to Queen at the moment…

I just need them to get me, and I want to get them.

It was a really lovely thing to contemplate, after a video call with friends who get us… as we get them.

#1554 Day 56 of getting there: missing out on shit

Sometimes, hard times get harder.

And that sucks.

Like when isolation restrictions lessen, but you still have to remain isolated.

A few choice expletives are more than necessary, but this is a gratitude blog, so we’ll all use our imaginations for that.

But when you can’t be in the company of loved ones, and you know you are missing out, that the rest of the world is catching up…

I had to do the only thing I could today.

Take a walk.

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Clear the head. Breathe in the co2. Stretch the limbs, feel the sunshine on my face, and then run after Hubbie and baby girl as they suddenly got further and further away from me down the street…

And I felt good. I was pushing past my natural limit, I was making those legs ache, I was gearing myself to get the heart pumping more, the lungs taking in more air.

I was feeling lighter.

And then as I passed a large gum tree, with dozens of chattering birds ahead… the unthinkable happened.

Well, not so unthinkable. Definitely thinkable after today.

I felt wetness on my hands. I stopped. Looked at the drops.

Turned down to observe my top…

And realised, I had been marked.

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Bloody $!*% birds.

How eternally optimistic is our culture, when it tells us that something good, can come out of something bad…

Like that good luck comes from something as crap (pun intended) as when a bird unloads its bowels on you?

How hopeful is that?

Hubbie told me how he got bird shit on him as a kid in primary school. All his friends told him he would get good luck that day…

He went home and he waited… and waited… and waited.

And nothing came.

What a load of SHIT.

I like him, am still waiting….

But at least I got my walk. And at the end of the day, this sunset.

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Now that, gives me hope.

#1482 Happiness where I didn’t expect

I am really happy.

I’m in a good place, and if anyone told me working would make me happy, I would have laughed… in your face.

But working, really is making me happy.

I feel wanted. Useful. I am being productive in so many ways. I am doing something for myself, something for my family, and something for a workplace…

It’s the last thing I expected, yet at the same time it is exactly the thing I needed.

Huh. When life gives you what you need, without you even realising it… I do have to wonder at who is pulling the strings out there.

It cements to me even more, that everything happens for a reason… and everything happens, when it is MEANT to. ♥

#1476 Together again

I don’t think I realised just how much I missed them all, until I saw them all today.

I’m talking about my family… my WHOLE family.

Cousins, aunties, uncles, kids, people who aren’t my blood technically but who I still faithfully call “cousin.”

And making it sweeter, having my parents, and sis and bro-in-law in the mix.

Age, gender, cultural ethnicity… it’s all irrelevant. We all blend and merge seamlessly into one. I talk to my younger cousins as easily as I do with my uncles, or the 3 year-old birthday girl.

We are all in such different stages of life, and it makes catch-ups like tonight that much more interesting. Either someone is plowing through work, looking for work, or thinking of finishing up work. Some are raising young kids, others teens, while others still are free now that their brood are independent of them.

Some are retired, enjoying the good life in the garden.

Some holiday a couple times a year.

Some are dreaming of their next holiday (um, us? 😂)

We get along, but we also argue. We shit-stir, and we agree to disagree.

And although there’s so much separating our very specific and individual lives, there’s one major factor unifying us all.

And that’s family.

We were together for a kid’s birthday today. And not ‘kid’s birthday’ in the literal sense… although there was rainbow cake, pink balloons, dress-ups and a jumping castle…

But there was so much noise. Rowdiness. Gee we can be f$#&ing loud! Anyone passing by outside would be forgiven in thinking it was anything but a kid’s birthday party.

We are passionate, yet we still have our problems. Health problems, kid problems, work problems and just generally, LIFE problems.

We share all this to lighten our load, then we smile. Eat some cake and drink some wine.

Go home full in our bellies and our hearts.

Because we are family.

And gee, I missed them. ❤

 

 

 

 

#1474 A date with the parentals

In light of things about to get a whole lot busier, it was lovely to have this pre-planned day, to head across town and meet my parents in a shopping centre, near my old ‘hood.

Memories.

First I was just wandering without a care. Look here, look there… go wherever I damn like.

When I met up with them, it was BUT FIRST, COFFEE.

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And then the pinnacle of the day, being also the least active… when Mum and I lay down to have massages.

Ahhh.

The lady who did my back, was kneading a point in my left shoulder blade so much that I nearly cried out. But I gritted through the pain, to get to the glory.

Huh. Much like life I guess.

It was MAGIC.

Then for lunch I introduced my parents to Roll’d… and if you haven’t tried their food, you are missing out. They are delicious.

And now my parents think so too. 😉👌

Best of all, was the bonding and quality time spent with them… because I just know at the end of it all, we all walk away, feeling happier and lighter.

#1468 We meet again

It’s been about 6 months since I last saw my old work crew.

I caught up with most of them tonight.

Something’s shifted, though. The last time I saw these guys was at our send-off party, and back then there were lots of well wishes, ‘stay in touch’s and ‘call me’s.

But now that we have seen each other and caught up…

It’s no more ‘good luck for the future.’

It’s actually ‘when do we do this again?’

This group, who I spent so many years with, and so many of my hours with, laughing and talking and gossiping, have gone from former colleagues, to –

FRIENDS.

And it’s a beautiful place to be.

They’ve transitioned from one part of my life to another.

And you just never know, do you? You never know what role someone is going to play in your life… As the saying goes, they could be in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime…

And within that, their roles and purpose in your life can shift too.

Don’t be too sure of yourself. Allow some room to be surprised.

I sure have been lately. ❤

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#1458 The power in us

Often in life we can fall victim to negative thinking.

It’s all too easy to do.

Something bad or unpleasant happens to us…

Something we have no control over…

And we cry “BOO HOO.”

We complain about things that are seemingly out of our control, things we never desired in the first place, and things that just don’t seem fair.

There will be countless times in life when things don’t feel fair.

But we can do something about it.

And I’m not talking about changing the circumstance that came to us, or even employing ways to avoid negativity altogether…

I mean, using the power of our minds to stay in control.

Because NO MATTER WHAT happens in our lives, we have the power over how we will respond.

Every single time.

You may be sad…

You have the power.

You may be angry…

You have the power.

You may feel frustrated…

You have the power.

Life is the biggest test there is, both of a physical and mental kind. We don’t know what lies ahead, but we can be assured that we will cry as much as we will laugh.

But we need to flex our muscles… our mind muscles. We need to show life who is boss, take charge of our destinies, and take on the view that challenges only make us stronger.

We can still be upset for a while, if that makes things easier… but then we can choose to move on, and choose to be the master of our stories.

A Madonna lyric asks:

“Who is the Master, and who is the Slave?”

Well, who is it?

A lesson learnt today.

 

 

#1457 The diary

I have a PLAN.

There are so many of you that will roll your eyes here… and I DON’T CARE.

Because today was the first day of implementation, and already things are working.

I’ve worked out how to succeed.

How to get ahead in life.

How to make your dreams come true.

And all you need, is…

A DIARY.

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(Along with a hefty dose of passion, determination, and resilience, but eh).

I needed a place to organise my writing goals and thoughts. I realised it was all in my head, and my 58 to-do lists were not quite doing their job. Sure they reminded me of what I had to do, but they weren’t really making me accountable and tracking what I did each day.

Insert, the DIARY.

I bought the above ‘buffalo diary’ from Typo a couple weeks back. It displays a week per two-page spread, and my plan is to look at my week ahead from my fridge monthly planner (planners EVERYWHERE), see what days I’m not travelling or with appointments, and then slot in times through the week in my DIARY to do writing-related things and work on freelancing.

It is soooo simple. Things like this are the necessary first step to making things happen… it is so clear to me now. Today I opened the week to see what was on today’s page, and guess what?

I actually worked on what was listed for today.

A bloody miracle. No procrastination either.

And another little motivator for me (other than my eventual success and world-wide stardom?)

Stickers.

Each time I complete the task subscribed to me that day, I’m going to put a little star next to my diary entry…

Like in school. Tee hee hee. Maybe a gold one too. To match the front cover lettering. 🌟

 

 

 

#1447 Me Time no. 1

I can just as easily have named this a ‘reasons why I love living by the beach’ post with the water being a theme and all once again, but the true intentions of my writing and where I am coming from are so different this time.

Sure, it was hot.

Sure, I wanted to make the most of Summer.

Sure, I wasn’t passing up a hot day offer from Melbourne even if it meant I was alone.

Especially because I was alone. 😉

But I’ve been in a funny space lately. Neither here nor there. Thinking about life, wondering what to do, in this odd middle-ground of nothingness, where nothing is the only thing that actually happens…

Just a whole lot of thinking instead.

I’ve been coming to grips with this weird phase, reminding myself that we all go through it at certain times of life and it’s part of the whole cocoon process in becoming a new person.

To become a butterfly we must shed our shell. But we must hide out and hibernate first to do so.

Part of my quest this year, the year of balance as I’m calling it, the ‘2020’ year, is to find more time to make me happy.

You might think that is SO easy given I don’t have a job. I have plenty of time, right?

Time doesn’t necessarily equate to heart and purpose though. And it’s awfully hard to find motivation when the car that is your life stalls and has to change new tyres, and you suddenly don’t know where the tyres are coming from. And then someone tells you to not stress, and relax.

You try relax while waiting for a tyre change.

So in the meantime, I really have to do things for me.

Things that fill my soul with purpose.

Things that make me smile.

Things that I miss doing.

Things that I always put on the backburner because I need to cook/clean/make phone calls/do washing/a billion other things on my to-do list.

Going to the beach on my lonesome is just one of those wonderful ‘me’ things.

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(the seagull had to photobomb my solitary beach photo!)

Firstly, when alone at the beach, I have no one in tow, and no one to answer to. I decide when I come and go. I sit on the sand for as long as I like, and I sit in the water for as long as I like.

And today, while sitting in the water and having waves crash over me… well it truly reset my car battery. 😉

I’ve written a little story about it on Instagram, about waves and life and letting go, so I do hope you check it out… you can find me under smikgwriter so give me a yell if you’re on there too. ♥