I am going to say something a bit controversial.
I’m going to say it, after manic deliberation driving home tonight, the blood in my body bubbling like a hot rakija on the stove, promising to boil up and overflow at any moment if a close eye is not kept on it.
I’m also going to say it, after considerate thought, while I was sitting next to baby girl in bed just earlier, settling her, soothing her tired and frustrated face, and thinking back on the events of the day in complete calm and quiet.
I am not saying this carelessly.
I am not saying this casually.
I am not saying this with malice – I am only stating the cold, hard facts.
Some children, are absolute moles.
They are arrogant, rude, inconsiderate, bossy, and mean little MOLES.
And unfortunately baby girl was the brunt of their mole-ness today.
Every parent is biased, I know.
Every parent thinks their child is the best. The most smartest. The most beautiful. The most funniest. The most entertaining. The most amazing being in the entire world.
And you know what? Every parent is right.
Simultaneously, all our children can be a bit difficult at times, to put it mildly.
They can be obnoxious. Throw tantrums. Break things for attention. Yell and scream ’til they get what they want.
It’s really annoying, sure. But they are learning. And we are teaching them through this thing called ‘Life.’ They all have their moments, and they all test us parents in different ways.
Baby girl gets upset when she doesn’t get what she wants. She does get IT a lot of the time. But often I say no, just to prove a point, and I tell her above her crying protests
“life isn’t fair honey, get used to it.”
Baby girl will also be stubborn. Like I am not allowed to walk this way through the house, but that way. Just because.
I am not allowed to hold her Anna doll this way, but that way.
I can’t buckle her up in the car until she is seated and has properly prepared herself in it (another OCD contender anyone?)
She has these funny and weird routines and if we don’t comply, she will cross her arms, stamp her foot once, and say it a low cross tone “me very upset with you right now, hrmph.”
It is actually kind of totally adorable.
You know what is not adorable though? Yelling. Screaming. Snatching. Telling someone to go away. To not play with them. Telling someone they can’t join in. Screaming at them not to touch their toys. Teasing them. Making fun of them. Stirring them up. Belittling them.
This is what baby girl endured today. All she wanted to do was play, and what she got in return was a big pile of mole-play.
And after all of that she still wanted to hug mole-child goodbye, and was refused it… and when asking if mole-child would visit her at our house, got a prompt “no.”
I can’t begin to describe the intense anger and frustration coupled with deep-seated emotion that ravaged loose inside of me when all this was happening. Baby girl was crying out, literally, for play, for friendship, for fun, and all she got was a whole lot of shit in return. She so much wanted to make a connection, and to see my happy and carefree girl so upset, frustrated, confused and sad, broke me up into a million pieces inside.
Without parenting, or telling off mole-child whose parents were absent, I did what I could only do… give a few choice words of my own – “that is not very nice, would you like it if someone did that to you?” – and told baby girl to “leave the rude kids alone.”
But I was furious. And later, thinking of the events that had transpired, it led me to one big realisation.
Baby girl, actually is, THE BEST.
She is an angel. Sure she is sometimes possessive of her toys. But she eventually shares, and loves playing with others happily for hours on end.
Sure she is a typical 4 year-old and wants things her way. But she will never yell at another, and would rather follow the other child’s game than stamp her foot down (kids are the exception!) and miss out on play.
Sure she sometimes plays up and deliberately goes against the grain just to grind you. But she has a kind, generous and compassionate heart, and just wants to get along.
She is not angry, mean, or rude. She is a friendly, happy-go-lucky child who just wants to engage, jump, laugh a lot and have fun.
When someone yells, she stands back in confusion. And tonight, so did I.
Because my daughter, is not a mole-child. And I am so grateful for that.