#1482 Happiness where I didn’t expect

I am really happy.

I’m in a good place, and if anyone told me working would make me happy, I would have laughed… in your face.

But working, really is making me happy.

I feel wanted. Useful. I am being productive in so many ways. I am doing something for myself, something for my family, and something for a workplace…

It’s the last thing I expected, yet at the same time it is exactly the thing I needed.

Huh. When life gives you what you need, without you even realising it… I do have to wonder at who is pulling the strings out there.

It cements to me even more, that everything happens for a reason… and everything happens, when it is MEANT to. ♥

#1476 Together again

I don’t think I realised just how much I missed them all, until I saw them all today.

I’m talking about my family… my WHOLE family.

Cousins, aunties, uncles, kids, people who aren’t my blood technically but who I still faithfully call “cousin.”

And making it sweeter, having my parents, and sis and bro-in-law in the mix.

Age, gender, cultural ethnicity… it’s all irrelevant. We all blend and merge seamlessly into one. I talk to my younger cousins as easily as I do with my uncles, or the 3 year-old birthday girl.

We are all in such different stages of life, and it makes catch-ups like tonight that much more interesting. Either someone is plowing through work, looking for work, or thinking of finishing up work. Some are raising young kids, others teens, while others still are free now that their brood are independent of them.

Some are retired, enjoying the good life in the garden.

Some holiday a couple times a year.

Some are dreaming of their next holiday (um, us? 😂)

We get along, but we also argue. We shit-stir, and we agree to disagree.

And although there’s so much separating our very specific and individual lives, there’s one major factor unifying us all.

And that’s family.

We were together for a kid’s birthday today. And not ‘kid’s birthday’ in the literal sense… although there was rainbow cake, pink balloons, dress-ups and a jumping castle…

But there was so much noise. Rowdiness. Gee we can be f$#&ing loud! Anyone passing by outside would be forgiven in thinking it was anything but a kid’s birthday party.

We are passionate, yet we still have our problems. Health problems, kid problems, work problems and just generally, LIFE problems.

We share all this to lighten our load, then we smile. Eat some cake and drink some wine.

Go home full in our bellies and our hearts.

Because we are family.

And gee, I missed them. ❤

 

 

 

 

#1468 We meet again

It’s been about 6 months since I last saw my old work crew.

I caught up with most of them tonight.

Something’s shifted, though. The last time I saw these guys was at our send-off party, and back then there were lots of well wishes, ‘stay in touch’s and ‘call me’s.

But now that we have seen each other and caught up…

It’s no more ‘good luck for the future.’

It’s actually ‘when do we do this again?’

This group, who I spent so many years with, and so many of my hours with, laughing and talking and gossiping, have gone from former colleagues, to –

FRIENDS.

And it’s a beautiful place to be.

They’ve transitioned from one part of my life to another.

And you just never know, do you? You never know what role someone is going to play in your life… As the saying goes, they could be in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime…

And within that, their roles and purpose in your life can shift too.

Don’t be too sure of yourself. Allow some room to be surprised.

I sure have been lately. ❤

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#1458 The power in us

Often in life we can fall victim to negative thinking.

It’s all too easy to do.

Something bad or unpleasant happens to us…

Something we have no control over…

And we cry “BOO HOO.”

We complain about things that are seemingly out of our control, things we never desired in the first place, and things that just don’t seem fair.

There will be countless times in life when things don’t feel fair.

But we can do something about it.

And I’m not talking about changing the circumstance that came to us, or even employing ways to avoid negativity altogether…

I mean, using the power of our minds to stay in control.

Because NO MATTER WHAT happens in our lives, we have the power over how we will respond.

Every single time.

You may be sad…

You have the power.

You may be angry…

You have the power.

You may feel frustrated…

You have the power.

Life is the biggest test there is, both of a physical and mental kind. We don’t know what lies ahead, but we can be assured that we will cry as much as we will laugh.

But we need to flex our muscles… our mind muscles. We need to show life who is boss, take charge of our destinies, and take on the view that challenges only make us stronger.

We can still be upset for a while, if that makes things easier… but then we can choose to move on, and choose to be the master of our stories.

A Madonna lyric asks:

“Who is the Master, and who is the Slave?”

Well, who is it?

A lesson learnt today.

 

 

#1457 The diary

I have a PLAN.

There are so many of you that will roll your eyes here… and I DON’T CARE.

Because today was the first day of implementation, and already things are working.

I’ve worked out how to succeed.

How to get ahead in life.

How to make your dreams come true.

And all you need, is…

A DIARY.

buffalodiary

(Along with a hefty dose of passion, determination, and resilience, but eh).

I needed a place to organise my writing goals and thoughts. I realised it was all in my head, and my 58 to-do lists were not quite doing their job. Sure they reminded me of what I had to do, but they weren’t really making me accountable and tracking what I did each day.

Insert, the DIARY.

I bought the above ‘buffalo diary’ from Typo a couple weeks back. It displays a week per two-page spread, and my plan is to look at my week ahead from my fridge monthly planner (planners EVERYWHERE), see what days I’m not travelling or with appointments, and then slot in times through the week in my DIARY to do writing-related things and work on freelancing.

It is soooo simple. Things like this are the necessary first step to making things happen… it is so clear to me now. Today I opened the week to see what was on today’s page, and guess what?

I actually worked on what was listed for today.

A bloody miracle. No procrastination either.

And another little motivator for me (other than my eventual success and world-wide stardom?)

Stickers.

Each time I complete the task subscribed to me that day, I’m going to put a little star next to my diary entry…

Like in school. Tee hee hee. Maybe a gold one too. To match the front cover lettering. 🌟

 

 

 

#1447 Me Time no. 1

I can just as easily have named this a ‘reasons why I love living by the beach’ post with the water being a theme and all once again, but the true intentions of my writing and where I am coming from are so different this time.

Sure, it was hot.

Sure, I wanted to make the most of Summer.

Sure, I wasn’t passing up a hot day offer from Melbourne even if it meant I was alone.

Especially because I was alone. 😉

But I’ve been in a funny space lately. Neither here nor there. Thinking about life, wondering what to do, in this odd middle-ground of nothingness, where nothing is the only thing that actually happens…

Just a whole lot of thinking instead.

I’ve been coming to grips with this weird phase, reminding myself that we all go through it at certain times of life and it’s part of the whole cocoon process in becoming a new person.

To become a butterfly we must shed our shell. But we must hide out and hibernate first to do so.

Part of my quest this year, the year of balance as I’m calling it, the ‘2020’ year, is to find more time to make me happy.

You might think that is SO easy given I don’t have a job. I have plenty of time, right?

Time doesn’t necessarily equate to heart and purpose though. And it’s awfully hard to find motivation when the car that is your life stalls and has to change new tyres, and you suddenly don’t know where the tyres are coming from. And then someone tells you to not stress, and relax.

You try relax while waiting for a tyre change.

So in the meantime, I really have to do things for me.

Things that fill my soul with purpose.

Things that make me smile.

Things that I miss doing.

Things that I always put on the backburner because I need to cook/clean/make phone calls/do washing/a billion other things on my to-do list.

Going to the beach on my lonesome is just one of those wonderful ‘me’ things.

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(the seagull had to photobomb my solitary beach photo!)

Firstly, when alone at the beach, I have no one in tow, and no one to answer to. I decide when I come and go. I sit on the sand for as long as I like, and I sit in the water for as long as I like.

And today, while sitting in the water and having waves crash over me… well it truly reset my car battery. 😉

I’ve written a little story about it on Instagram, about waves and life and letting go, so I do hope you check it out… you can find me under smikgwriter so give me a yell if you’re on there too. ♥

 

 

#1426 The city trip

We easily could have had a crap day.

We had a few difficult starts that could have turned us sour.

Like the train station parking.

There wasn’t any.

As it was we couldn’t take our regular line into the city because there were replacement buses at certain stops…

And if you have ever had to take a replacement bus in, you will understand why we never ever want to take a replacement bus EVER AGAIN.

So we tried to jump on another train line.

But every car park was full.

We were on holiday time… but the rest of the world was not.

It was a Friday you see. Business hours applied.

We went to one station, couldn’t find parking, before driving up to the next one trying to get lucky.

We did this at three stations before I said “let’s just drive in.”

I remembered the car park I’d gone to with baby girl when we had our Andy show for the last school holidays.

And we just happened to take the scenic route there.

Boy did it bring back memories.

We were driving along Beach Rd in St Kilda, and I was looking at the palm trees, at the houses facing the water…

AND IT HIT ME.

I remembered going there with Hubbie way before baby girl was around, and how we’d look up at the houses and admire them saying “imagine living here by the beach? Imagine that?”

Well we didn’t live by that beach, but now we lived close to a beach.

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All of a sudden our unplanned drive in was becoming a whole lot more.

We arrived at our car parking destination about 2 hours from when we set off. All the pausing and going from one station to the next and then looking for parking had taken ages.

We could have been cranky. We could have been pissed. Instead we stepped out of the old building, so known to us, and went ‘ahhh’ as the humidity of the day hit us and we spied THAT familiar street.

Lygon street. Our old stomping ground.

Oh wow. We were walking and telling baby girl everything. “Mummy and Daddy used to come here all the time… we used to go there… then we would go there… we’ve been there… look that’s changed!”

It was amazing as all the feelings came flooding back. It was a place that at one time in our life we frequented like twice a week… then it changed to once. LOL. We went there so much the trip there was permanently engrained in our minds. The twists and turns of the street, the best parking spots, and who did the best pasta and steak.

(Not necessarily from the pricey side, and if you know Lygon street you know which side of the street that is 😉 )

We stopped to eat lunch at a place we had before, and looking up and down at the greenery on either side of us, I grew misty-eyed.

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I had a revelation.

I even said it aloud: “I could see myself living here.”

Hubbe was shocked. It was a big thing for me to say that. Me, SmikG, so rapt with the beachside that I couldn’t imagine anywhere else.

I clarified… “I love where we live… but one day, maybe in 20 years, I could imagine living here.”

The memories. Oh the MEMORIES! Even sitting at that table, I was reminded that we had sat at that very café and at that very table and had a coffee, right before going on a little trip together pre-baby girl… I reminded Hubbie and he said “Yes, I remember!”

“Where were we going again?”

After throwing out some names which weren’t right, he said it was at a spot on the Peninsula.

FACE PALM. Where we live NOW.

The symmetry was freaking me out.

Lygon Street made me feel right at home. From the bear-shaped pizza for baby girl and the handmade gnocchi for me that melted in my mouth, I was in heaven. I’ve always said I was Italian in another life. I am more than confident of it after today.

We shared a coffee after our tram trek into the city-centre, where I had the most delicious and iconic Melbourne themed chocolate…

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Before we went to where we had planned to all along.

A children’s theatre show.

It was Room on the Broom, a production based off the iconic Australian children’s book. It was a present to baby girl for Christmas after we saw how enthralled in the book she was last year… and so that was the point of our whole trek in.

We did so much before that to get there, and it had been an adventure.

The show in itself was another great adventure.

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But then like so many times before, shit hit the fan.

Baby girl wanted merchandise. A tiny $40 stuffed toy witch, or a $25 stuffed toy cat.

I shouldn’t even mention the money. The money doesn’t matter. It was the principle.

She has LOADS of stuffed toys. Do you think she plays with them?

Noooooooooooooooooooooo.

She started the hysterics. The tantrum built. Cries and shrieks. “No I want it!” Stamping of the foot. It is almost hilarious if it ISN’T happening to you.

We’d done so much to get there. Spent so much. Travelled so far.

And now THIS.

I looked outside the open doors as she cried behind us. People crowded through the foyer, some looking over and others dealing with their own demanding brood.

I could see it – gone was the humidity that had enveloped me during my delicious Pomodoro gnocchi as I sweated it out at 1pm…

Because now at 4pm, it was windy and raining and people were getting drenched outside.

I put my foot down figuratively, told her “NO!” and stomped outside.

And instead of –

“But how the witch wailed

And how the cat spat

When the wind blew so widely

It blew off the hat.” – 

It was –

“How baby girl wailed 

And how her Mum spat

As the wind blew so widely

and her Mum yelled ‘that’s that!'”

LOL.

She cried as we pulled her along through the rain, pelting down on us as we ran towards our tram stop.

“You don’t need another stuffed toy!”

“Yes I do!”

“No you don’t!”

“Yes I do!”

“No you don’t!”

And as we ran, our feet sploshing through puddles and water sinking through our sandals, our arguing turned into banter, and the water on her face was suddenly from the rain, not her tears, as baby girl started to laugh.

“Yes I do!”

We got some much appreciated shelter from a woman holding an umbrella as we waited to cross the road, and within moments, all was well again.

The wild weather could have thrown us off.

The tantrum, the crying and yelling could have put us in a real sour mood.

But it didn’t.

And all of a sudden, we were full circle in our feelings again. 🙂

It was one of those weird days where it was a little bit of everything, but mostly a lot of fun and crazy.

We didn’t let anything unexpected throw us off our main task of having fun, whether it was a long drive, no parking, wild weather or a demanding 6 year old…

Our task was to make memories, with the added bonus of reminiscing past memories.

It was a happy day. ♥