#1498 Coronavirus pep talk

At a time when there is so much uncertainty and confusion, sadness and despair, withdrawal and isolation…

There is also so, so, so, SO much to be grateful for.

I am grateful for freedom. I have the freedom and right to pull my daughter out of school, at my discretion, and have my wishes respected by the school community.

I am grateful that I can still work from home at this time of crisis.

I am grateful that my daughter will be within our home, our care, and within our sight, during this stage.

I am grateful to have a fridge, a pantry, and items that will help us get through this isolation period.

I am grateful that I have so much to keep me busy – books, music, podcasts, movies.

I am grateful to have a roof over my head – a comfortable bed, a heater, clean clothes, running water, a toilet.

I am grateful that I can pick up the phone, and be in touch with anyone in my life.

I am grateful that I can stay up-to-date on the latest updates, world happenings, and have my favourite musos sing/perform to us from the other side of the globe and keep us all happy and connected during this pandemic.

Your gratitude list may be similar or vary wildly. Either way, you can’t deny the facts…

There is so much accessible to us in this day and age. A hundred years ago and something like this could have felt truly isolating. But going through all of this, now?

We may be separated in our homes, but we have an abundance of freedom in how we choose to move within those walls.

How we choose to connect.

What we choose to see.

How much we want to know.

We have it all literally, at our fingertips.

And although sure, life is going to be disrupted, FOR US ALL…

We are all going through the upheaval, together.

And just think… can you just imagine, how it’ll be like when this is all over?

We will hug, kiss, hold hands and dance.

We will go outdoors, rain hail or shine… we will see our family and friends, hold them close, laugh together, get our hair done, get massages, do girls’ day outs, watch movies, love harder, stronger, deeper, and most importantly…

REALLY LIVE LIFE.

I can’t wait for that day. It is going to be incredible.

We can do it. Because we are all in this together. ♥

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#1466 What she said no. 14

I had to break it to her somehow, and the best time was to do it after her babycino. While she still had her milk moustache.

“You know honey… Mummy has to go somewhere tomorrow. I’m gonna see you in the morning and then after school… but you’re going to be with Dad tomorrow night.”

She seemed cool. She hugged me before jumping onto Hubbie to tell him how great a night they were gonna have, their Daddy and Daughter night.

Until dinner time.

“We’re gonna have the best time tomorrow night,” she was telling her Dad.

“But I’ll be a little bit sad. I’ll be thinking of you Mum.”

Awww.

“I wish you were with us.”

Awww.

“I’m going to draw a picture for you because I miss you.”

Awww.

I gave her a hug and told her it was for the shortest time and that I would see her nice and early for school drop-off on Friday morning.

But, awww.

(When do I tell her that her homebody Mum is in fact shock horror going out two nights in a row this week? Whoops…)

#1446 Reasons why I love living near the beach no. 2

So this is similar to my number 1 reason from an earlier post, but… I love living by the beach because…

We can go after work.

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Hubbie’s work, that is. Having a peak temperature day of 37 in our neck of the woods meant that it was likely to still be hot later in the day.

This was perfect, as it’s not generally favoured amongst bosses and teachers that employees cancel work and students wag school to hit the sand and water.

But living by the beach, you can just go after work and school!

Visits like this aren’t for long. We grab our towels, our belongings in one bag, our thongs are on our feet and swimwear is ready, as baby girl drags her body board behind her.

That’s it.

An hour maybe, tops.

Short and sweet.

And we end up having the best time ever.

We had the best time ever. ♥

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#1441 Going out when you want to

Being on holiday is great and all, but have you ever noticed that sometimes when on holiday you don’t feel like doing holiday things ALL THE TIME?

I came to this observation when Hubbie was home with us not too long ago. We had many days in a row where we’d paint the Peninsula blue, white and yellow…

And then others when we’d stay at home all day.

Sure you need balance, and that sometimes means down time. But it showed me that holiday time doesn’t mean holiday vibes… 24/7.

So we decided. A new rule.

Too often in life we wait for holidays, wait for the long weekend, wait ’til our days off, to have fun. To live life. To do what we really wanted to do… 5 days ago.

Why do we wait? Why do we put off our happiness and satisfaction for a supposedly more convenient time and day?

We’ve decided that when we want to do something, rain hail shine, summer winter autumn spring, work or no work, time or no time…

We will do it.

Because you get the most satisfaction out of doing something when you really want to, right?

So tonight, we went out.

It doesn’t matter that it was the long weekend… we would have gone anyway.

Because we wanted to.

Look at that sea view. 😍🌅

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#1317 Deep reflections at a funeral

A sombre post today. Still with some gratitude, but definitely, sombre.

I was at a funeral today. It’s that event on the other side of the spectrum that makes you think. The event on the opposite side? A birth. Something so wondrous and magical that it feels as if all of life’s blessings have fallen upon your lap.

But death. That which is inevitable but which we don’t speak of.

Although both birth and death make us reflect and think about life, nothing quite shakes our core and makes us think about how far we have come, like the end of someone’s days.

IT IS INEVITABLE. Yet we don’t think about it, we don’t talk about it. I stood there in the church today, staring at the great bright and glowing chandelier above our heads, underneath where I married Hubbie, and where years later we christened our baby girl… thinking deeply.

How would my funeral be? Where would I be? Would I want to be remembered there, in an Orthodox church, a place of many beautiful memories for me personally, or in a church that spoke of my Catholic roots?

The answer came to me easily and abruptly. Despite my deep respect for my husband and his traditions, I wanted to go back to where I came from.

I shared this with Hubbie in the car, on the way to the cemetery. He nodded.

“Fair enough.” But that wasn’t enough for me. I continued.

“Have you ever thought who will be at your funeral? Like, it’s going to be those younger than us, most likely.” I started rattling off names of those near and dear who were a generation younger than us. I got choked up thinking of others.

“What about my friends?” Who of them would be at mine… or would I be at theirs? It was too much to bear. Suddenly the tears were welling up in my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. “How will it be? Who will be there to remember me?”

Hubbie reached out his hand to hold mine. “Don’t talk like that.” If anyone had thought of death, and of how grief took hold of your body, it was Hubbie. “Don’t think about it.”

And that’s what we do, don’t we? We go back to not thinking about it… not talking about it.

But like I said, death makes us think. And so it should. It makes us take stock of things, do a life inventory as it were, to see what makes us happy, if we are using our time wisely, and who we are spending that hard-earned time on… all sage questions, and things we should consider more often.

It made me think of those around me. Was I surrounding myself with the best people possible? Those who had my best interests at heart and made me happy? Would I be happy, at who turned up at my funeral?

So today I used this time to think. To contemplate and reassess what is around me. Put things in perspective. To remember to stress less, and LIVE MORE.

Because I have time. If you are reading this, YOU have time too. Take the event of death of a loved one as a most humble and sobering reminder to wake up to the signs of life and make sure you are on the right track… every day is a chance to start anew… every day is a chance to make your days count… and every day is a chance to make your life worthy and satisfying.

Make your relationships with your loved ones count. Surround yourself with the best people possible. Not just because they might be at your funeral… but because they should already be in your life, too.

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Photo by Simeon Muller on Unsplash

 

#1259 Tipsy, relaxed and chilled

I’ve been focused and preparing and go-go-go for days now.

Sometimes we get ourselves overly worked up.

I am guilty as charged.

We had some people over tonight who have never visited our place… a little group of them too, not just, like two.

And despite my craziness and the frenzy leading up to it, I discovered the insanity was all for nothing.

The stress. The nerves. The ‘what ifs’ on every possible scenario.

Why do we do this?

I realised early on it was…

ALL GOOD.

And though now I am relaxed, chilled, and yeah, a little affected after a couple glasses of wine, happy the night is over…

I realise with happiness, I was also content during the night.

Don’t wish for it to be over. Enjoy every moment to the full. Don’t live a life of halves, pushing away emotions and experiences.

Live through all of it, entirely with all of your being. Don’t live a half life. Make it FULL.

#1155 The risktaker

What is it like to live with a risktaker?

What is it like, when that person is your husband?

They can be spontaneous. Things happen suddenly, plans change, and you have to learn to just go with the flow, and roll with the waves.

They get passionate. Passionate about big things, but little things too. Life. Music. That green shirt. Grass. It is all or nothing. The passion brings about great satisfaction and joy, but in lack of it, the days can sometimes drag on.

With passion comes the sure-fire heat. And not the type that comes from a stove. I am talking the heat of conversation, the explosiveness of words, the fuel that comes tunnelling forth with great news… and the disappointment that has to unleash with the bad.

Things are always ‘happening.’

Baby girl said to me a while back “you have to be a risktaker.” I was surprised to hear those words from her, until I realised where they had come from.

It was from school, the day before their ‘try popcorn and pineapple’ day.

But when Hubbie is a risktaker, he does things like this:

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Over 20 years post his days of climbing monkey bars. Never mind this followed some ‘casual’ drinks. Never mind he was wearing sandals that he could have toppled over in.

Never mind that our daughter was watching him with awe and amusement.

The statement “Don’t try this at home” suddenly had a whole new meaning.

“Don’t try this at school!”

But there is good. More good, than even all of the above mentioned.

Because with risktaking, there is hardly any emphasis of failure. Sure, a healthy dose of fear is there, it is natural… but it isn’t the main focus.

It is just ‘let me try this’ and if it doesn’t work out, then –

“Oh well. Now I know.”

In risk taking, you aren’t left wondering what could have been. Risk taking requires self-confidence, and being your own support group, so you can rev yourself up to go out there, reach high, and try to jump to the sky…

Much like Hubbie did today.

On the outside, as I scolded him and told him to get down, with a smiling baby girl looking up at him beside me, I may have seemed disapproving.

But in all honesty, I want her to be a risk-taker too.

And, so do I.

#1138 The Analogy, a balcony and a Bay

There is something that I’ve learnt in recent days that I wish to share with you.

The analogy.

Often in life we want something. It can be fair to assume at every point in life, we are wanting something… be it love, a house, more money, the ideal career, friends, self-fulfilment… the list goes on and on and on.

Let’s say you are meeting someone for dinner. It’s someone you don’t know well… for arguments sake we will say it is a work colleague who you have just met. And as you wait at the restaurant for them… they are late. Increasingly late, as time goes on.

Tick tock. Tick tock.

Where does your mind go? More than likely the worst case scenario pops up.

He stood me up?

Where is she?

How could she do this to me?

What the hell?

Now let’s change things slightly.

Let’s say you are meeting a loved one for dinner. Someone you know very well. Someone you have known for most of your life.

And now, they are late.

Notice how your thoughts towards this… change.

Hmmm, maybe she got stuck in traffic. Hope she is ok.

Probably looking for parking.

He will be here soon.

I will have another drink while I wait…

Do you know what the underlying belief behind all these varying responses is?

The belief that no matter what, your loved one will be there.

They will get there.

There is no disappointment. No anger. No misplaced frustration.

Just understanding. Curiosity even.

Confidence, most of all.

And this has been rotating around in my head for a while now. The analogy that to attract the things we want, we need to treat those things like our loved ones, instead of like new work colleagues who we don’t know from a bar of soap.

Instead of being confused, resentful and unhappy when your ‘thing’ doesn’t show up…

You need to be strong in the belief that it WILL come.

It is just around the corner.

It took a wrong turn.

It got held up at that busy intersection.

It is in the toilets applying some lipstick.

And, more often than not, when you momentarily forget, and distract yourself with what to order from the menu… you will look up and your ‘thing,’ will be there, standing in front of you.

Arriving when you didn’t even notice.

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I honestly didn’t stand on the edge of the balcony, for ages. It was left over from the fear of walking onto it AT ALL for those two years that we avoided it while we waited to get it repaired. Finally when most of our kitchen reno was done we got onto it, and even after it was all well and good, and the wood was good, I still forgot that I was allowed to walk to the edge.

I got so used to being scared of the edge.

Today as I had my lunch outside in the sun, I walked right to the edge. Looked down at the ground below, watched my feet sticking out beneath the new wired barricade. Looked back up.

And there was a flash of light. Far into the Bay before me, was the tiniest glimmer of some ‘thing,’ what it was I could only speculate… and every so often, with the reflection of the sunlight, it glinted towards my eye.

I tried to locate it again. I tried and I tried. When I searched for it, it didn’t appear to be anywhere…

It appeared to be, GONE.

But then I looked away for a few moments. I looked at the road and the houses before. I looked at how I could see the outline of the coastline on the other side of the Bay. I thought of picking up baby girl for school shortly.

And when I did glance back towards the water, I noticed the glint coming from off the side of where it had originally been… it had moved… it was closer to the shore.

It was still glinting.

Shining.

For only a moment.

But it was there. Coming closer to me when I wasn’t watching.

And that my friends, is my lesson for you, and for me.

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#1120 Party crashers

I don’t know how my sis and bro-in-law put up with us.

I blame Hubbie entirely.

We totally crashed a party tonight.

I was at first, HORRIFIED. Horrified that we were doing it. Horrified that it was happening somehow despite my objections. Horrified when we arrived at the house and had to walk in all like….

“Uhhh…. hi.” Awks smile. Wave.

Face palm.

I entirely blame Hubbie. Totally, utterly, completely BLAME MY HUSBAND.

We followed my sister and her fam over to their friends house tonight. When you’re close with somehow, your family and friends and everything kind of merge into one. Their friends, become your friends.

Still, we crashed.

But, it was cool. There’s something cheeky and fun, uninhibited and exciting about ending your day some place that you never would have expected when you woke that morning.

There’s something about being in a different location, in a luscious tree-lined forest-y street, feeling like you’re not just in another suburb, but you’ve stepped into a different realm.

There’s also something soothing, fulfilling, magical and cyclical about it all, as you sit there in front of a backyard fireplace, after a night of meeting new people, having new laughs, and making new friends, that makes you go –

“Huh. So this is living life.”

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Not carefully or cautiously, treading slowly, fearful of stepping on toes and ruffling too many feathers as you walk by.

But by being bold, taking different routes, living in the moment and definitely, by crashing a party.

Sorry sis. 🤷🏻‍♀️😆

 

#1034 When one door closes… a window opens and in pours rain

I’m finding that a lot is changing.

Lately, many things seem final. Ending. I remind myself that it is simply the natural order of life for things to be constantly moving and in a shifting state – nothing ever stays the same.

Even love grows.

But the feeling is still bittersweet. Especially when the door closing is to see the back of someone who has helped your family so much.

So much change. So much moving on. Today my heart was overcome with sincere gratitude and thanks, while also deeply affected by this next chapter in our lives, for a dear individual who has helped us for years now.

Sometimes, it’s not us who wants to move on. It’s not them. It’s just life, doing what it always does.

It’s a process we all have to adhere to.

I find the timing most interesting. How so many things seem resolute and final, all at once, and the most fascinating thing of all?

To be standing in the middle of it all, with utmost alertness, watching it unfold.

Completely aware. I go by each day like this. My ears attuned to every conversation that passes. My eyes go through all of life’s details. I decipher dreams, remarks, people, places… ALL OF IT.

To be totally aware in the middle of change is a truly wondrous place to be.

And once again today… there was release.

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Once again, I was caught in the deluge. It was while was driving in my car, back to my parents house after being at the hairdresser’s. I saw it start to come down slowly, then more quickly, leading to a rapid downpour, all in a manner of seconds.

And meanwhile I was in the car shouting happily “Come on, give me more!”

It did.

There’s some link here, something between the release of rain and the always changing nature of life.

December rain… summer rain? Closing doors, but perhaps better rotating doors?

Moving, sudden, release.

Ahh, that’s it.

Change can come swiftly and without warning if you’re not aware. Watch your windows carefully, because when you’re not looking, rain can come pouring in.