#2595 10 minutes outside

Since I came home with baby boy 4 days ago, I’ve been outside once to throw out the rubbish.

Today was a nicer reason. I’ve been a slave to my little one’s milk demands all night and day, and so when they fell asleep for a little longer, after trying to do some things I’ve been trying to do all day, I went out.

Everything looks different after you’ve gone through something as significant as birthing a baby. I walked our front path, the one I had gone down days ago when I was bringing a new baby home in my arms. I looked at our plants. The new buds on the rosebush. The sun shone on my face and I squinted into the horizon and the glistening waters that lay there.

10 minutes. I had so many other things I could’ve been doing, but I needed time out. I needed to breathe the outside air and remind myself of that quote:

“The nights are long but the years are short.”

Well, we’re not up to years with baby boy yet, but we are with baby girl. With him, the days are short. Day 5 today will be a month tomorrow. It feels so long right now, but all I need to do is look at baby girl to know that all challenges pass.

10 minutes of me time therefore, is not much in comparison. But the act of stopping, means the world. 🙏

#2575 (Un)masked

Ok, enough with the anonymity. It’s about time I show you my face…

Mask. 😂

I bought these coffee and charcoal face masks from the Rachael Finch range, way before I fell pregnant, so it’s been at least a year they’ve been in my house that I HAVEN’T used them.

I figured, if it’s taking me so long to use them when I am pre-baby, imagine how much less time I’ll have for them once baby arrives…

It’s not even like there is much work involved, but it’s doing something that is out of practice, or out of your usual routine that makes it hard. Even though it isn’t.

It took me all of one minute to mix it up…

A couple more minutes to apply to my face…

10 minutes of lying there and meditating/visualising peacefully with said mask.

Then another good five minutes to get it off (it hardened well!)

So like, 20 minutes in total really!

It was a wonderful idea, and something I will definitely try to inject more time for, even when baby is here, now that I know how achievable (and short a time) it really is.

I just better make sure I don’t apply the mask and then attend to baby. You know… poor thing might get a shock or something.

“Where is my Mum and who the hell are you?” 😂😂

Incognito Mama. 🎭

#2574 Sharing paradise

I love going to my favourite place with my favourite people.

And so was the case today when my sister met up with baby girl and me at our local beach.

We spent 4 blissful hours there… 4 hours! Because we are so close, we generally don’t spend that much time at the beach – we don’t have to. But to be honest, I think a part of it is Mum guilt… feeling like we shouldn’t spend that much time there, because there is always something TO DO.

As I was saying to sis today, we need to forget about all of that! Replenish our mental and emotional stores. There will ALWAYS be some job to do, so if we wait until we have none, the time for ourselves will never come.

So, just have the fun, do the ‘me time,’ NOW.

The entire day was beautiful, mainly locals about, the sun not too hot but hot enough, the water clear and rippling and mild in parts… but I do have a favourite part of the day. I was sitting in my sister’s beach tent, as she and baby girl beckoned for me to follow them from where they were in the water.

So I did. I got up, and started walking over. And as I got closer and closer, all I could hear was…

GIGGLES. They were mucking about and playing games, trying not to laugh, but then they would crack themselves up and be laughing silly at nothing in particular. Laughing, just because.

And then I was laughing, just because too.

And that is a beautiful place to be. Laughing in the water with loved ones. Just because. 🥰🌅

#2554 Visions for our new chair

Tonight we got a new chair for our deck.

It’s an egg chair. You know those dome-shaped things that hang off a strong hook, and sway slightly?

Our deck is actually its second home. My sister and bro-in-law very kindly dropped it off tonight, as they don’t want it anymore. When they asked us, we did some thinking and thought, maybe it could have another purpose in our yard?

And I love it, not just because we have a brand new thing (nothing like a brand new thing to excite you!) but having loved ones over on a weeknight, really makes you realise it is holiday time.

HOLIDAY VIBES!

Apart from the great company tonight, is the knowledge that all of us will be using the egg chair for varied and happy reasons.

Hubbie might sit in it and enjoy music from the portable speaker while sipping on a cold bevvy. 😉🍺

Baby girl might read in it or do her latest fave activity, play on the Nintendo. 📖🎮

I might read in it, or just sit, because you know, movement is becoming an issue as of late. 😂🤰

And in about a month or so, I might just be rocking a baby to sleep in there. 🤱🙏

The best vision of all. 🥰😍

#2486 Fan-girling Sally

I went through some mental thought processes tonight, that I am ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN ALL MOTHERS have gone through at one stage or another, when preparing to go out on their own.

For some back story, I booked tickets to see the author Sally Hepworth weeks and weeks ago, when I found out she was literally coming to town to promote her new book, The Soulmate.

Only this week did I check my diary and dates again, and realised it was a Thursday… one of the busiest times of the week because of baby girl’s gymnastics.

So I went through the mental processes. YOU know the ones.

‘Should I just cancel?’

‘Am I going to enjoy it?’

‘Really, I haven’t even finished one of her books.’

‘Maybe I’ll go to another one of her events.’

‘It’s a busy week.’

‘I’m gonna have to move things around A LOT of I decide to go…’

‘STUFF IT, I’ll go.’

Yes, I haven’t finished one of her books, but I am in the last 100 pages of The Family Next Door right now, and let me tell you it is some good stuff. I’ve followed her on social media for a while, and just think her brand of authorship and humour is refreshing and welcome, as well as particularly entertaining.

But, for a moment there, I totally second-guessed myself… because it was too hard.

Too hard for me, or too hard for others around me? Or both?

So I dropped off baby girl at gymnastics.

I ran errands.

I then started dinner.

Left notes for Hubbie about dinner all over the place.

Brought Mister F in.

Gave Mister F food (notice I didn’t say ‘fed Mister F’ because that would require him actually eating the damn food 🙄)

Got ready.

Quickly scoffed some food down.

And then left the house!

OMG.

This is normal as a woman, and yet I know, I just know it happens everywhere, ALL THE TIME. We do something for ourselves, but in doing so we are either guilted into, or we guilt ourselves into, doing everything possible for every member of the family so that we can feel more “better” about going and having some ‘me time.’

We’re truly f*&ked in the head.

My reasons were to make Hubbie and baby girl’s lives easier. They get home after 6:30 from gymnastics, and then if he had to cook from scratch, they wouldn’t eat ’til like, 7:30pm.

Which is why I was running around like a headless chook this afternoon.

But… this story has a happy ending.

I loved the Sally talk at the local bookstore. 😍

She was entertaining, funny, insightful, generous with her time, and extremely friendly too, evidenced personally by me when I met her for the book signing!

I realised, that we don’t need to second guess ourselves so much. When we are doing something that is a passion, or spending time with people that will ultimately make us feel great, we don’t need to feel bad, or guilty, or give ourselves 1,000 jobs to balance out the ‘me time’ we end up having.

We are allowed to go out, have fun, make memories and live for ourselves and live our passion.

Next time you question yourself if you should, whether it’s worth it, whether the fam will be ok without you…

Nudge that all aside and say “f*&k it, I’m going.”

Because honestly… they WILL be.

You can thank me later.

#2480 The return of the coffee walk

How can a coffee walk feel soooo good?

I think because this doesn’t happen that much any more.

Or, it hasn’t for a while, until now.

Me, alone.

Day off.

Weather, acceptable.

Feeling good.

FRIDAY!

It was a mild morning as I set off after school drop-off to get me some coffee in my writerly keep mug. As I started walking, I realised just how relaxed, and happy, and peaceful I felt.

Why?

It wasn’t just that coffee is back in my life. No, it’s something else that makes me happy, and it’s the journey.

The process.

The anticipation of coffee, and the walk to getting the coffee, there’s just something about it, I don’t know…

Is it self-indulgent? Is it because it’s me time? Taking time out? Enjoying life?

It is the smallest of things, and yet it feels like everything. This morning, it was everything.

It’s a good thing I think, when little things can be everything. Let’s inject more little things like this that make us happy, into our lives.

💖💖☕☕

#2342 Wonderful Wintry Super-Slow Sunday

It was Sunday in every sense of the word.

And on a Wintry Sunday, well, you just have to chill and stay home, don’t you?

Baby girl gave me one of her spa messages at midday, where I lay face down on her bed, in the warm heated room, while she gave me a light massage, patting and rubbing my back and shoulders for about 10 minutes, all to the tune of some background ‘sleeping’ tunes she found on YouTube. 😁

It was uber-relaxing, and I finished it off with the biggest laugh, all because of this…

You know how when you finish any kind of gentle spa or face or body treatment, the spa person will say something like “now, open your eyes gently, when you feel like it, take your time…”

Allowing you to slowly stretch up and move gingerly?

Well baby girl stopped the massage, walked over to her ipad, pressed stop on the music, and then said to me “It’s done.”

😆😆😆😆

Oh God, I laughed and laughed. It was actually a great way to end the relaxing session, with a big belly laugh.

And then in the afternoon, I made baked nutella-filled cinnamon doughnuts, because why not?

And following that, spent a good couple of hours (yes! 😲😲) reading, having me time, and just, chilling!

Why, I never!

A super chill Sunday, just how I like it. 🙏💖

#2339 The drama, oh the drama!

Everyone once in a while, I write a blog post like this.

It makes absolutely NO SENSE to a lot of people.

And then there are those who will nod and go, “yes, yes!”

Today I was going “Yes Steffy, give it to her!”

While simultaneously fearing – “Sheila is evil, RUN Steffy!”

I had a day off today that didn’t have me running all over the place. I spent some spare time of it catching up on The Bold and the Beautiful, because OH MY GOD, shit is getting good!

SPOILER ALERT!

If you are immune to social media or are just really behind on your soap goss, perhaps look away. But the eps I was watching today are all about how Steffy confronted old-school original evil Sheila Carter for her lies, and then Sheila went to shoot her, instead shooting her own son Finn who is also Steffy’s husband, who stepped in at the last second to protect his wife!

Sheila shot her son, then shot Steffy! Oh the horror!

Sheila is off crying over her evil ways, Steffy is fighting for her life, and Finn is dead… or is he ‘soap opera’ dead? We’ll just need to wait and see! 😆😁

So you see, I had a great day catching up on this drama. Not only is this the longest show I have watched in my life, but it is terrific drama, and anything that removes me from the drama of my own life, is well worth it indeed. 💖😁

#2319 Where my feet lead me

I had the day to myself today, and I totally needed it.

All my days are so structured. Work, school drop-off and pick-up, after-school activity chauffeuring, then there’s the groceries, odd jobs and appointments, cleaning, cooking, washing… 🤯

So when I dropped off baby girl at school today, I was honestly a little lost. I had a decent to-do list, but I was awaiting a tradie to come and give us a quote, but didn’t know what time he’d be over, so I literally started driving… with no clear place to go.

Slowly, a plan formed. I would get some presents I needed to get while in the area…

But of course, the places I needed to look at weren’t open yet, so…

I found my feet leading me down the Main Street. I kinda knew where I was headed, before I KNEW where I was headed, if you know what I mean. 😆

Within 10 minutes, I had an egg and bacon toastie, a coffee, and I was sitting in front of this view:

I spent a good half hour there, eating, drinking, watching. Breathing too, that is important.

I love my town. I love it most when it is quiet actually. It’s often hard to imagine it as still as it was this morning, especially if you see it come peak period on hot days and over Summer.

But after school drop-off, you know there are only locals around. A handful of people walking their dogs on the beach, a few I exchanged good mornings with. A massive sea bird flew low over the water, its huge wings flapping slowly and deliberately, but with great strength.

It was all so grey, but so peaceful. It was beautiful.

These are the things I love to be still for, to witness.

I still got to do all my jobs, but in this short span of time that occupied the morning, I loved the freedom of letting my feet do the decision-making, of letting it lead me to where it needed to go. 🙏💖

#2246 Rainy pancake day

On my days off I have this intense desire to go out and walk. I guess it’s really nice, and not just because I’m having my me time, but I’m getting coffee on the way too. 🤣

And so with the clouds heavy and rain threatening to come down, but with only a couple of wispy drizzles, I set foot out the door to the neighbourhood cafe.

I risked it and I loved it.

This afternoon I wasn’t so lucky.

The bell rang and we were waiting for the kids to come out of the gates, and what do you now, the rain DESCENDED.

Baby girl emerged, looked at me in horror and was like “where are the umbrellas?” and I just laughed in her face and said “it’s just rain sweetheart, it’s all good.”

We got a decent splattering… I smiled through IT ALL 😁😁… and then we went home and made pancakes.

HOW are these events connected? Well they aren’t, they’re just events that made me feel good when I haven’t for a few days.

I had questioned earlier in the day whether or not to surprise baby girl with pancakes… after all, it’s not like she was aware that it was International Pancake Day 😉

But when we so often put house stuff, boring routine in front of our happiness and passions, I said screw it to all the house ‘stuff’ and spent time showing baby girl how easy the ingredients were, and even how to flip them on the stove.

We made way too many. And then we ate them all.

Happy days. 💖💖😋😋