Ok, just a bit. Coming off the back of school holidays (i.e. no solo ‘me time’ AT ALL), also the fact that this day off is butted onto the end of the week, that happens to be the best day ever, Fri-yay (insert my Friday post from last week!) I am pretty chuffed that I have the house to myself for 6 hours tomorrow.
At first I really wanted to bring baby girl along with me.
But the coronavirus restrictions imposing a guest limit, turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
Of course the thought of her being there beside me made me happy. It was a bridal shower. It was a girls girls girls afternoon out, with pretty and dainty cakes, various tones of mauve and blush, and a beautiful entry into the delicate, finer and charming things in life.
But like I’d said. Restrictions on numbers meant adults only.
Days leading up to the event, it dawned on me.
Hell yeah! I deserved a beautiful afternoon out where I could relax and enjoy, indulging in some fine food, gorgeous company and pretty surroundings.
Sans child. Without the usual –
“Put that down!”
“Don’t touch the cake, it’s not time yet!”
“Keep your voice down!”
“For the love of God, stop!”
And so I did. I had a beautiful afternoon as expected. It was relaxed and leisurely, sunny and funny, and perfect for a Sunday in December.
Turns out I wasn’t the only one who had a great day.
Hubbie and baby girl ended up having a Daddy-Daughter day.
Like I said, blessing in disguise, for us ALL.
Because they don’t get a lot of time, just them two, together. It’s usually baby girl and I, and a couple of days a week it’s all 3 of us…
So today was kinda special. 😍
They did grocery shopping. They bought my Chrissie pressie… and kept the secret to themselves.
She scrapped her knee running, and cried. He picked her up, put Dettol on her wounds, and bandaged them up.
She talked and talked and talked. She told him things, he listened. He admired how much she’s grown.
How much she is growing up each and every day.
And this evening, as I watched her apply the brand new lip balm that her Dad had bought her, on him NO LESS, well I got a little emotional.
I go from one hat, to another hat, to another hat.
ALL DAY LONG.
Work hat. Mum hat. Teacher hat. Cleaner hat. Chef hat. Pet owner hat. Wife hat. Washing hat. (Did I say cleaner hat?)
Emotional hat. Maintenance hat. Finance hat.
Where is my ‘me’ hat?
Sure we are in lockdown, but all it means for me is I’m doing everything from home now, instead of leaving the house for things that I used to.
It’s now the work and the home schooling, as well as trying to do all of the normal everyday tasks that keep the house running,
I jump from one thing to another thing to another thing, all without taking a breath.
Overwhelmed is an emotion I am all too familiar with.
I asked myself the other night “where is my ‘me time'”?
Sure, I do this at night. Everyone goes to sleep. I blog, I journal.
Other times I am so spent I watch my guilty pleasure Bold and the Beautiful on repeat, or just scroll aimlessly through social media.
But then, that other big question… the question that I’m sure A LOT of us has thought at one point or another during this lockdown…
What is it for?
What is the point? Where am I placing my valuable time, and is it leading me in the direction I want to go?
Or have I fallen into routine, and need to be reminded of that which makes my heart sing?
What about my book?
Yeah, MY BOOK. That thing I was working on ’til early this year, which I then left because ‘feedback overload!’ All well and good, but with so long a break, it was time to ask the question again.
‘What about my book?’
A new plan. A new decision. A new routine.
A new hat. A writinghat. 🙂
Wednesdays was now going to be my BOOK day.
It doesn’t matter how much (or how little) I spend working on my novel… but from now on, I’m going to be announcing to the house my intentions, and ordering them all to leave me alone for as long as they can muster!
Today it was about 80 minutes… not bad. It was baby steps. I first had to remind myself of where I was at, re-reading feedback from writing pals, and taking notes to ‘up the ante’ of my story.
Even if I do one line, each Wednesday…
I am doing something. I need to be easy on myself. I know how I work.
Life can get away from us. But if I can try stick to this new routine, all my Wednesdays will surely amount to something.
They will amount to much more, than doing nothing.