It’s been so long that we’ve actually had a playdate, I can’t even.
But surely, the day came today, amidst this post-covid-something-kinda-like-normal that we’ve been living recently (THANK GOD).
Baby girl’s cousin came over to play, and just as they ran amuck, painting each other’s nails, doing massive make-up test-runs, chasing Mister F, playing dolls endlessly, and jumping on the trampoline for what seemed like infinity, so too did us big girls have just as much fun…
Sitting. Talking. Tending to the little girls. 🤦♀️🤣
At the start of the day we got baby girl’s things ready for school tomorrow.
Backpack. Looking for all those readers and library books. Sanitiser. Sunscreen.
A hat. Term 4 NEEDS a hat.
She was so excited. She IS so excited. But during the day she said “Mama, I’m not gonna be with you tomorrow.”
My heart broke a little. But I didn’t show it.
Sure, I’m really glad school starts again tomorrow. And it starts, at the actual school premises, not from our kitchens, or lounge rooms, with our kids in their pjs ’til 11:30am, eating two breakfasts, a bevy of snacks, before getting around to brush their teeth…
I’m glad they’re going back.
But I will miss her. And having spent a whole term together, where most of the time I was stuck at my desk working from home, and she was cruising around the house, doing as she liked, when she liked… I still enjoyed her company. I liked her being there. Nearby.
And as much as she told me she preferred her teacher teaching her, over me teaching her (to which I wholeheartedly agree!) I can see a little part of her is gonna miss seeing me throughout the day.
Giving her random hugs and kisses as I walk by.
Getting her camomile tea when she likes.
Waving to her through the window when she is outside playing with Mister F.
It was the weirdest experience, and one I never want to recreate…
But I think we’ll both miss it.
We’ll miss each other.
We took a family walk this afternoon. Just some together time. Something simple. Out in the sun.
You know what’s better than a fresh spring walk around the block?
Well, a fresh spring walk around the block, that leads to a park!
Today was park 4 out of the 5 within our 5kms. It was spur of the moment, as baby girl and I were chasing sunshine-y spots in the late afternoon sun along the footpath, and I knew that taking a longer route, would also lead us to the very well lit up park not too far from home.
She was all too happy to take that detour. 😁
I’m just so tired of being in the box. Of being in the box known as home. Gee, I love our home, and what we have created, and what we are creating…
But shit. You need a break. I need a break.
I wanted the sun on my face.
I wanted to feel the early evening chill start to settle around us.
I wanted to feel the cold seep through my clothes.
I wanted to move my body, and stretch, and look upwards, shield my eyes from the sky, hide from magpies, and look for the regular neighbourhood cats that we just know would be friends with our mate Mister F if they lived closer.
I was really surprised to reach the end of today, and find that I felt…
The exact same way I feel after we have one of our big birthday parties.
Only this year was different, right?
What was different…
Firstly, no family, no friends, NO ONE. Just us.
No celebratory birthday outing.
That’s about it.
What was the same though?
The food. We ate most of the day, and felt absolutely stuffed by it all!
The drinks. I went a little ‘woo!’ in my head.
The cakes. The candles.
The music. Freddie! Dancing.
The surprises… for both of us.
The love and well wishes that came from everywhere.
I have to say, my family and friends made sure we felt the love today.
During such a weird time in our lives, when we are going through celebrations and momentous life events without so much as a peep on the radar as to its significance, the people around me reminded us today that we are loved, we are remembered, and also…
That we WILL party really really really really HARD when this passes!
And so, it comes as no surprise that I would be feeling sad it was all over.