#948 Rainbow on the road

My gratitude today comes from the sights I witnessed while driving home from work.

A rainbow that you drive underneath as rain trickles down, is sure to bring a smile to your face.

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And then as I got home, I actually couldn’t resist this:

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I know, I know. Another sunset? But you see, it was all the more sweeter, because I snapped it before I walked in and got the best greeting in the whole wide world.

“Mama’s home!”

She sure is 🙂

#943 Primary acceptance

I’ve been waiting for it, for weeks.

I’ve been thinking about it.

Bugging the kindergarten teachers with my random pop-up questions about it.

Trying to oh-so-casually investigate other kindergarten parents and their knowledge of it.

But today, in letter form, I finally got my answer:

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“She has been accepted!”

!!!

I am sooo happy. Grateful, YES.

(Insert heavy sobbing, heart-clutching, and animal-like wails, reminiscent of the Mother mammal when she realises her offspring is growing up ever more…)

#905 New blue shoes

What is better than buying a new pair of shoes?

Why, buying the pair that you were eyeing off over a month ago, at 50% off!

50% off!

50% off!

 

Yes it was all pure chance that it happened. I had a spare moment during the day while I was doing odd jobs on the Main street, and as I headed into the store, wondered why the hell there were sooo many ladies in there at that time (random, surely). I was then pleasantly surprised at the reduced price tag on my shoes, and then turned off my tunnel vision long enough to realise the ENTIRE STORE had red 50% off signs plastered everywhere.

For no other reason than getting ready for Summer stock. Why I never.

I think I need to go back and buy more.

No I am not kidding. You gotta hear me out. I am not buying shoes and boots willy-nilly at the drop of a hat every time I pass a shoe store. Not only am I super-fussy about what ends up on my feet, but that is combined with my unfortunate lack of time, and so I have basically been wearing the same 2 pairs of boots, day in and day out, I kid you not, for about 4 years, if not MORE.

One of my pairs is sooo bad, that although walkable, I am almost embarrassed to wear them. Buying shoes right now, is a necessity.

Also, 50% off.

Also, the biggest reason… BIRTHDAY MONTH! Hello?

:):):)

#885 2 nights and 3 days

Sometimes that’s all you need.

Getting away with my family for 2 nights and 3 days, spending uninterrupted non-stop family time together, was… beautiful? Interesting? Relaxing?

How about all of the above.

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It was very quiet, and it was very low-key, but that is exactly how we wanted it. And as much as we loved our family time together, the purpose of our trip has been satisfied.

We are fulfilled. Our energy and enthusiasm reserves are restored once again.

Hubbie will go back to work tomorrow with some renewed vigour.

Baby girl will go back to kinder tomorrow with extra ammo in her step to paint all the pictures and swing as high as she can.

And I will go back to… what do I do again?

Oh that’s right. EVERYTHING.

I love going away, but coming back home is great too, because it gives you back some of that oomph! often lost in Winter…

#818 What Mother’s Day really means

You might think I am a day too early, but this has all happened after midnight you see. If you must, let’s call it Mother’s Day Eve.

Or just Motherhood, or Parenthood, right? Because putting things mildly, things went from crabby to horrific in a matter of hours tonight.

We were at a function on the other side of town. Baby girl had been better today, amazingly so, and so we went. She complained of something new though – her teeth. She said they were sore, and so on and on it went… from the car… to the reception… THE ENTIRE NIGHT.

We left as early as we could. She fell asleep in the car as expected. But then, woke up about 20 minutes from home.

And she cried and whinged the entire time.

At times she screamed. She whimpered as if having a bad dream. Her breath stuttered from crying so much. She was even hysterical.

What did we do? Well I tried to reason with her. I told her to stop. Ask her what was wrong. I told her I was there for her. I told her she had to calm down. I wiped her nose, and held her hand – while driving.

It barely helped.

So I did the good cop bad cop routine, and put on my angry hat and DEMANDED she stop crying. She was being ridiculous. She only cried louder. She was red and babbling and upset and no matter how angry I got, again, nothing seemed to help.

In fact it made it worse.

What was Hubbie doing? Well he tried. But let’s just say if she is not working with me, she won’t have a bar of him.

We finally got her inside the house. She cried as we walked up the driveway, after midnight, and I was sure her frantic cries would wake the neighbours and make them want to call the police.

The end of the night, had been a disaster. I was so upset. Is this what my weekend would become? Was this my lovely payday leading up to Mother’s Day? Did I deserve this wholehearted crap heaped upon me and my family?

Was this it?

I rugged her up and put her into bed, securing the blankets around her tightly. I sat close, and whispered to her as I gently stroked her head, to sleep.

“Shh, Mama’s here.”

“Mama loves you, always remember that.”

“I’m always here, whenever you need me.”

Her ragged breaths rose and fell, her small body shaking with every stutter, and as I made my strokes on her head more gentle, more softer, more deliberate, her breath evened, turned into whispered starts, and went silent.

Her body and the cold bed had merged as one, warming itself like a cocoon, and I could see from her face she was getting deeper and deeper. I sat there watching this peaceful face. This face that had made me so worried/mad/sad, and now all I could see in that moment, was love.

She had had enough of everything. She was over it all. She was tired. She just needed a break. 

Go figure. I had thought it was the teeth. All she needed was bed, my gentle touch, and my loving words.

A Mother’s work is not easy. It is trying and exhausting and it will make you cry from frustration as much as it will make you cry from happiness.

But when you watch their still and peaceful faces at the end of a long day…

You come to understand that the flowers, the chocolates, the gifts on Mother’s Day, mean nothing.

Because it is in these moments of reflection and tiredness, relief and grounding, that you come to appreciate what Mother’s Day is all about.

Simply, being a Mother. In every way, shape and form, through sunshine and storm.

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#799 (Tiny) kitchen hand

I was preparing dinner. One of the things on tonight’s list were these too-easy mini pizzas I make using puff pastry, and they work just as well as a side dish as they do in baby girl’s kinder lunchbox.

She spied me, making them.

“Mama me help?”

I must have grumbled, or made no response. I was in one of those moods. You know that mood where you just want to get shit done, instead of entertaining someone and being all patient?

Sadly in that moment, I wasn’t the ‘let’s do this together honey!’ Mum I try to be. Rather I was the short-tempered and cranky ‘I’m busy!’ Mum.

I must have realised this though, because even when her back was turned as I got to a part that she could do, instead of quickly finishing them off myself, I called her over.

“Do you wanna help me sprinkle cheese?”

And after she did that, narrating “sprinkle sprinkle sprinkle” as she went, she then asked

“Can I roll?”

I breathed in deep for that one. God help me how would they turn out? … But sure, why the hell not? It was just rolling.

They turned out beautiful. One broke in the middle half-way through, but I didn’t even care. I had suddenly seen ourselves through my eyes 5 years earlier, and realised that she was helping me – wanting to help me in the kitchen – something a pre-Motherhood SmikG would have clapped her hands with joy for. Something a pre-baby me would have thought was the most cherished and beautiful thing in the world to share.

And so I pushed my busy-ness to the side, and stood in the glow of gratitude.

#788 What she said no. 4

Today’s highlights include:

“Mama, me miss you soooo much!”

This one happened about 17 times today, and mind you we haven’t been apart from each other ALL day.

“This sauce so yummy, mmm thank you Mama!”

Finally deciding to try sauce with her all-time fave food, pasta, and realising that I am not full of shit and it does taste good!

“No Mama, you no make deal with me, I make deal with you!”

Arguing. Just because, 4. Going on 14. That’s it.

But it’s all balance, you see. Another day in the highly conversational life of baby girl…