Today was the day that we said goodbye to our family home.
The home that my parents have lived in for 40 years.
The home that my sister spent growing up as a teenager, all the way until she got married.
The home that’s the only childhood, family home I’ve ever known… that I lived in for 25 years until I got married.
Goodbye, number 14.
It was an emotionally bittersweet day. Emotional because oh God, all of the above! So many memories are in every inch, every corner, every crevice of that house.
Through the rush to get everything out of the house this morning, I tried to pause every so often, look around, take a breath, and say a personal thanks to the house that made my years growing up, the best in the world.
Here is the emotional part.
I was reflecting on my life spent there as I walked around the empty rooms, a bit taken aback by the hollowness of it all. The furniture, furnishings, and all the photos and trinkets that made it such a loved home, were all gone.
But oh, those walls. If those walls could talk.
Those walls would speak of happiness, of laughter. Of sadness and shock, family coming together, and family celebrating to make the most out of life.
And love. SO much love.
Memories hit me as I walked into rooms, turned corners. Looked this way, that. People from the past resurfaced, along with people from the present.
In the lounge room, I saw myself sitting on the floor while my parents watched footy on the TV.
In the kitchen I saw my Mum cooking up a feast, our family sitting down to eat at the small round table, perfect for us in size, so perfect, to keep us tight and close together, as always.
In the garden I saw happiness. Friends, cousins, brimming around, enjoying a drink on a hot Summer’s day, folk music from the garage wafting over and adding to the festive atmosphere of it all.
The garage, ohhhh, the garage. Where so, so, so many parties and events were had. Birthdays. Milestones. Weddings. Day after weddings! New Years. And all of the Christmases that Mum cooked up a storm, catering for over 30 people like it was an absolute breeze, even though it wasn’t.
She made it look effortless.
Those were the days. Those were the BEST days.
The park next door. Hearing the squeals of happiness from our younger cousins as they took advantage of the play proximity.
At the front door, I saw my sister being led out in her wedding dress by my parents… then I saw myself, doing the same.
The dining room showed me all of us, our big family, as we are now. The original foursome, us, being my parents, sister and I, but now with our Hubbies and our kids, filling up the table, eating heaps, drinking more, and playing music off of youtube on the mobile until the late hours of the night.
In my bedroom. The bedroom that I spent 15 years of my life sleeping, dreaming and hoping in. I had another room for the first 10 years of my life, but I claimed this one, sister’s one, after she got married and moved out.
It’s always been the better room.
I sat in my old room. Took some photos around me. And then here, I began to cry.
I remember watching Video Hits for hours on weekend mornings.
My childhood cat scratching at my window, wanting to be let in, and then me opening the window to shoo her, upset she had woken me… but when she jumped down from the window sill outside, I thought stuff it, you’ve woken me now… and so I would call her back in (she must have thought I was a crazy bipolar cat owner) and she’d snuggle up next to me as I slept a little more.
I’d open up that window, and talk to friends through it.
I talked to SO MANY people, through it.
I listened to music for hours on my bed.
I had sleepovers in that room.
I had sleepovers in that house! On the lounge room floor, covered in blankets and sleeping bags.
When Croatia played Australia in the 2006 World Cup, Hubbie-then-boyfriend and I watched it, me running around the house with a Cro flag when Croatia scored a goal, and Hubbie running around the house with an Aussie flag when they scored a goal.
I don’t remember who won that game. All I remember is the memories.
All the people who came, and went from that house. It would be in the hundreds. Friends, family, people who I grew up with, grew apart from, so many people have touched base in that house, shared a laugh, a dance, a drink, and made a memory.
Even baby girl. It was the first place that she ever visited, after her own home.
Speaking of baby girl… My waters broke in that house! And my own Mum’s waters broke in there, when she was pregnant with me!
Both sister’s Hubbie, and my Hubbie, met my parents for the first time in THAT lounge room…
News broke. Secrets shared. Heavy discussions were had. Tears shed.
People were welcomed. People were greeted.
People came in, and immediately knew that there was love. They were safe. They were in a memorable place.
And so today, the time came. We walked through the house. We took our final photos.
And we drove off, for good.
That was seriously bitter, right?
Where is the sweet?
Well, it comes with the choice. How blessed are we that this was born of my parents decision to move closer to me and sis, and not because of a bad circumstance.
How lucky are we that we get to say goodbye, together, in the best way possible… and how lucky that we still get to take ALL the memories with us?
Including most importantly, the people.
I am so looking forward to making just as many happy memories in their new abode. 🏡🏡
But my heart will always hold a very special and dear place, for number 14.
It’s too late in the night/too early in the morning for me to think up a more adventurous post.
But today truly was about adventure.
People, places, memories.
The night ended with Hubbie’ s cousins over for a last-minute, impromptu visit… but aren’t those the best? The ones where the kids are screaming excitedly as they run from room to room, the grown-ups voices and the music from the speaker compete against each other, each trying to drown the other out, and where you go back in time, sharing memories and funny stories.
It was adventure in our minds.
The middle of the day had my sis and nephew pop over… and well that was a different type of discovery, but for them, not so much me.
Still, taking them around, and explaining the ins and outs of the town, showing them great locations… seeing the joy on their faces, made me share the journey with them as if it were the first time.
It was living thefirst-time adventure in our town, vicariously through them.
But I need to make special mention to the beginning, the start of the day…
Because that was adventure, in the true sense of the word.
We went to another place, we lived, we enjoyed, we explored.
We caught up with baby girl’s cousins at the Enchanted Adventure Garden, and it was a different kind of day, let me tell you.
Because it drizzled, almost all day. My hair was a bomb site through it all, and often we found ourselves in a maze, on the tube slides, or taking photos, all while a consistent stream of wispy rain came down.
It didn’t stop the magic though. Or the wonder.
It proved to me, that where there’s a will, there’s always a way. Rain, hail or shine… in our case it was definitely the former.
And if you wanna have fun, make the most out of the day, and make memories, you will.
It was finding adventure, fun and happiness, despite what life threw at us.
And you know what? The unexpectedness of rain made it that much more adventurous.
Did you know Queen has a Christmas song? Actually, two that I know of. The one I’m referring to, the same title as my blog post, well I discovered it a few months ago.
But upon finding it to play, I struggled to get through it without tears in my eyes, as the lyrics hit me hard, having gone through some issues at the time.
This morning, I put it on repeat, several times.
“Oh, my friends, it’s been a long hard year
But now it’s Christmas
Yes it’s Christmas
Thank God it’s Christmas.”
Those were my sentiments exactly, and I went into Christmas at my parents house, shared with my sister and her family, feeling utterly grateful.
Snapshots of Christmas 2020.
You might notice a plate of lemons in there. Well you see, lemons are the right fruit to refer to with what I’m about to share, having played an important part of a moment I had today.
Not only was I grateful to be amongst family after a year like no other, where hardship and difficulty seemed to arrive at every opportunity, but it was a bittersweet Christmas in that it would be the last at my childhood home before my parents moved house.
It was a Christmas, like so many we’d had there before… full of love, happiness, laughter, and great memories. But every now and then, it hit me – CRAP, this was our last one there.
I was cutting up lemons for our evening prawn feast, when it struck me again.
Last Christmas here.
And suddenly, it was bittersweet. Much like the lemons. On their own they were hard to take, your face screwed up when you bit into it, they were so sour…
But in accompaniment, with something else, like prawns… with a martini… or with honey… somehow it tasted a lot better.
It was great, even desirable.
Much like this last Christmas.
It wasn’t the last, but it would be the last there.
I could take it though. I could take it, because I still took with me all the memories of being there, celebrating Christmas after Christmas with my family and friends, all throughout the years.
Most importantly, I was taking the most important thing with me.
As if on cue, INXS’s ‘Don’t Change’ came on the radio, and I had to smile.
If only there were no change. Things would be so easy, with everything staying the same, static, and with no room to move.
But that’s the point of life you see. To grow. To evolve.
There MUST be change.
So I took the lemons to the table, and we enjoyed them in the best prawn feast ever.
I thought it was something entirely different when Hubbie announced today:
“Something’s at the door!”
I glared at him. Unfairly. Because a couple of days ago, I had told him that if any large-ish type parcel arrives, it is likely baby girl’s birthday present and we need to move it to a hiding spot pronto.
She gets excited about parcels, even if they aren’t for her… so it was of vital importance to hide it immediately.
After I finished glaring at his vocal announcement, I went to the parcel and saw…
My name, and baby girl’s name?
From my sister and fam?
Oh. Whoops.(Face palm).
Instead, it was an early birthday surprise.
It was so unexpected. It was early, but it came at the best time. I’d been feeling rather ‘blah’ about everything, so to sit down with baby girl (after apologising to Hubbie 🙃) and start going through the packages, well it lifted us right up.
Baby girl got some really cute gifts, and was absolutely rapt with his big girl make up/beauty case she got… and I received some really lovely and ‘me time’ gifts… a moisturiser, beauty bag, jewellery stand…
But the best gift of all, hands down, were the words.
The words in my sister’s card got me, good. I read it silently, and soon found the tears just flowing down my face.
Then, I was sobbing.
It hit me. Hard. I’ve known and been well aware that August was gonna be different this year. Hell I even forecast it as far ago as June, before this second lockdown…
But I didn’t know how hard, and how further isolated, we would get.
I am a party person. We are party people. We throw birthdays. We have people over. We go out. We entertain. And the only other time that I have not had a party for my birthday, was when I turned 30…
Why not, for such a big birthday, you might ask?
Well, because baby girl was born on that day. 🙂
Kinda a big reason.
This year, there is no good reason at all. I mean, corona is the reason… but it’s not a nice reason we’re missing out, is it?
Reading my sister’s sweet and heartfelt words, it just really hit me. I couldn’t contain the emotions anymore. The missing out.
The missing them.
The missing everyone.
The missing everything.
I am okay. I will be okay. And we will make up for this one way or another.
Today, I am so grateful for those words. Those words made me cry, but really, they lifted me today.
They reminded me that I can do it. I will do it.
We ALL will do it. Because there is so much happiness awaiting us on the other side…