#648 Award and recognition

I have so much going on right now, that driving into work on a Thursday evening whilst on annual leave was not exactly on my list of priority to-dos.

Battling stupid Monash freeway traffic on the way didn’t help either.

But when I got there, I felt a bit better. I lightened up.

Because it’s not every day you reach a 10 year milestone at your place of employment.

IMAG6952

I never, ever thought I would have been there this long. But somehow, here I am. And more so, I enjoy it. I enjoy going in to work, I enjoy the job, the environment, the people, and let’s not forget the perks…

Moreover, they seem to like me. Respect me, and acknowledge me…

What more could you want from a workplace?

(Why am I writing again? Oh that’s right, PASSION).

Maybe most important, is that bolded word in brackets above – because it’s due to my job, and the fact that I am getting paid in one avenue of life, that’s allowed me to pursue another avenue of life where currently (key word) I am not getting compensated.

Tonight I am in a happy place of reminiscing, feeling accomplished, and curious, though content, about the next phase of my life… wherever that may be.

As long as it includes water. That seems to be a recurring theme for me… 😉

IMAG6953

Advertisements

#642 Library sessions no.2

The purpose of today’s library visit was primarily to get another sticker sheet for baby girl in her 1000 books before school reading challenge. She hit the 200 mark a week ago, and so off we went to the library to get some more sheets to fill in.

But then… I hadn’t had caffeine. It was 11:30am, and there WAS NO caffeine coursing through my veins. Also, we had no other plans for the day, other than to just go back home…

“Baby girl, do you want to have a babycino at the library?”

Short pause.

“Babycino, and biscuit?”

IMAG6828

I think it is THE MOST FABULOUS premise that a library should have a café within its walls. I mean, it should almost be a prerequisite in EVERY reading institution. Once we had gotten some more reading challenge sheets, I made our order up at the counter, and soon we were drinking, eating, baby girl was going crazy bringing me all manner of DVDs/books that she absolutely had to borrow, while I went into my most favourite-st of aisles, and managed to find a book about writing that I HAVEN’T browsed through yet.

And I think it is one of the most simple and beautiful luxuries of life, to be sipping on coffee, your child is nearby and happily entertained, and you are reading about a deep personal passion of yours.

Finding the simple things, in the every day 🙂

#517 Some Red with Hubbie

“Red, red wine

Goes to my head…

Makes me forget that I

Still need her so…”

I love a good drop of red. Another Saturday night, another takeaway night, another night cosied up on the couch… and yet all amplified by a couple of decent of glasses to put you in right form.

IMAG4892

I don’t have photos of full glasses, because we drank it all didn’t we? And you know those people who are all “I love the Red wine song!” and they don’t even drink red wine?! Like, who are you?! You can’t proclaim love for something only to straight out deny it! That’s like, a Lion denying the sunshine.

Is that even possible?!?!

That’s my Saturday night red wine intoxicated rant over. And what’s so good about a drop of red, you might ask?

Drinking a good drop of red, with company. The type of company that like the colour of the liquid, is symbolic of all things love, passion and fiery combustion.

“Red, red wine

It’s up to you

All I can do I’ve done

Memories won’t go… memories won’t go.”

Cheers.

#513 The joy of coming out… as a Writer

This post has absolutely nothing to do with proclaiming that you are interested in the same sex… and yet despite the differences, I think, same same.

Because there is still fear attached.

Fear of being judged.

Fear of criticism.

Fear of gossip.

Fear of being told you’re unworthy.

Fear of people treating you differently.

IMAG4833

I took this pic tonight near my work. I don’t know why. I like the Ferris Wheel symbol – a huge manufactured orb-thing, shining brightly in the night, despite the shadows of black surrounding it. It is huge, and sometimes scary, but always shiny.

Wherever it shines, here it is bright.

And that’s how we should be with ourselves too.

Wherever we shine, here it should be bright.

We should not fear what others think or say about us. It is none of our business firstly, just as it is none of theirs what we think of them.

We all have our own opinions, but simultaneously, we should try and choose our company wisely, and keep those with our best interest at heart, close to us.

We should live our authentic selves, staying true to who we are and what we are here to do, and live this passion of ours as fully as we possibly can. We don’t know how long we are here for, so we should do whatever makes our hearts sing, now.

Where is all this leading?

Well, I’ve been super silent about my writings and my blogs, for many years now. Say 6 years. And in those 6 years, there are 7 people who have known what I was doing.

Only 7 people.

From last Saturday, it was 8. And from the weeks progressing forward, I will hit double digits… and keep the numbers moving up,

And you know why? Because I am ready. I’ve been thinking about telling people for a while now about what I do. But intense fear has stemmed from the almost certain  questioning and criticising that I would undoubtedly receive… and also, having people both close to me, and not so, who know who I am, reading every single one of my private thoughts that I’ve ever posted online… is terrifying.

I’ve been scared. I always knew this day of release would come, and I had to be ready for it, but I always told myself that I would ‘come out’ when I was published. When I had some kind of outside, literary confirmation that my work was good enough, then and only then would I say to everyone “hey! This is what I’ve been doing. This is me, and I am now officially “A WRITER.”’

But this is complete bull. Because you are not a Writer only because your work has been published. You are a Writer because you put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, and decided that this is where your passion lay.

This is what you would devote your life to.

This is what you want to do, above all else, even if you got no rewards for it.

That, is what makes you a Writer.

So, something I have feared for so long, I am getting really excited by. Because I am choosing wisely. I am choosing people to tell, who either understand and have an appreciation for the writing/reading process; those also doing what I do; and highly supportive family and friends.

I don’t need everyone to know just yet, I just need my circle to know-all. And I think that is what excites me. The fact that supportive people will be ‘in on it,’ and that with the release of the private information I’ve been guarding so closely to my chest, knowing it will be out there, well…

It scares me, excites me, and thrills me, to no end.

I don’t just write food reviews, and I don’t just write book reviews. I write about myself. My family. My fears, and my day-to-day life. My goals, my dreams, and every shit moment I have. I write about all the in-betweens, and knowing that people will be able to access this at whim, without the necessary “how’s things?” question to me at face value, does intensely freak me out and have me palpitating with sweats.

But it has to be done. I have to proclaim myself as a Writer, and I’m damn well excited about it.

IMAG4841

And as I came closer to the Ferris Wheel, I realised there was not much to be scared of, and it was smaller than what it seemed from afar… it was actually quite beautiful.

#509 Friday night d&m and surprises with Hubbie

Most Fridays we have the MIL with us, which makes for light-hearted, event and people based chit-chat.

“How are these people going?”

“How was work?”

“What are the weekend plans?”

“What will you do on Sunday?”

“Did you hear about that?”

and so on.

Tonight however, it was just US – baby girl, hubbie and I. And quite surprisingly and happily, we started to get into it.

He dropped some surprising statements, which had me slightly reeling – just from the sheer unpredictability of it ever being said.

“What? Are you serious? Seriously, I feel like I don’t know you.”

All good, and nothing bad. Just different, and eye-opening. We got into some d&m, and you know the convo has gone deep and fulfilling, when the dinner sit-down has long passed the eaten food that has come and gone before it.

“Well if I do this, with your talent here, and my knowledge there, we could both – “

Now I was reeling, again. I know this is a whole lot of blah blah blah to the rest of the world, but after our talk I had the most profound sense of I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO EXPECT FROM LIFE.

We always talk about living life to the full, and cramming as much experience and fun and passion into what we have been given here on earth, yet still, for a man that I know so, so well, he had me absolutely stunned and baffled.

And as I dwelled on it, I realised I loved it.

I’m not a person to stay stagnant, and remain in the same role or field for the rest of my life. And seeing that he is the same, and just like me is open to new and exciting experiences, if only to explore and see where the open doors lead him, well that is equally exciting to watch and be a part of.

I love that we are passionate, we know what we love, but also, we love to keep things exciting, fresh, and moving on.

To be inspired by the man in your life, and find even greater motivation to love him, well…

that is something I am eternally grateful for.

And all from a Friday night convo. All good things come from Fridays…

 

#390 Baby girl’s naps no.2 – catch-up

This post has very little to do with baby girl, and all to do with what I do when she is NOT around.

I’m lucky that at the age of 3 and a half, she still naps. About, an hour to 90 minutes a day, sometimes even 2 hours if we’ve been to the beach, or she’s been to kinder or run around heaps. And even then I start to make a lot of noise at the 90 minute mark, as I know that putting her to bed that night might be a tad difficult after a long nap.

She’s just like her Mum. She loves her sleep, and I’m fortunate to say, she always has.

Today she went for an hour 40 minutes. During this time, I plop myself in front of the laptop, and begin all kinds of writing tasks/passions.

Today it was personal journal writing; food review writing; and book review writing.

I’ve been behind in my food and book reviews for so long. Soooo long. You know when you are so behind in something, you start to consider giving it up?

‘It’s too hard. I can’t keep up.’

‘My life is too busy right now.’

‘This is getting out of hand.’

‘Maybe I’ll try this in 5 years time.’

I wasn’t sure, whether any of it was worth it. The reviews. The blog. Even the gratitude. I question myself on some days, when things are hard, when time is pressed, and I don’t think I’m going anywhere.

But, I am grateful for the stubborn Lion that I am.

Because I just can’t freaking give up so easy. It’s not in my DNA.

You shouldn’t either.

As hard as it has been in the last months/years/life since parenthood (!) I have still persevered. I have moved EVER SO SLOWLY. And I fortunately, have not given up. These moments I get when baby girl is napping, and then when she is sleeping late at night, I am able to move on, to try and catch up, to keep things going with my blogs, my personal writings, my passionate pursuits, as much as I can.

They are slow, ever so slow, baby steps. A snails pace. And there are days when I have to do other things. ‘Responsible’ things. I can’t write every day, and those days feel so wasted on me. But when I can, I try my damn best.

But today, after doing some more writing, and then taking a kind of step back to go ‘hmm, my food reviews are almost catching up,’ and ‘hmm, I’m heading through my current book review at a decent pace’ (with 3 more looming in the background but that’s not the point!) I felt, good. I felt like, I was getting somewhere. And I started to feel like, I might actually be catching up.

That was such a good feeling. And I am so grateful, I had it. More so, I’m grateful that baby girl’s reliable naps, gave me the opportunity for it 🙂

#374 Reclaiming the past with Besties

Tonight, Bestie and her Hubbex came over to visit us in our new ‘hood.

It was a pretty rad night.

We have a pretty awesome history, us 4. I often wonder if the looks we get from other ‘friends’ are that of jealousy: I mean, bestie and I are of course, LONG-TIME besties, and when we get together, our Hubbies become equally as tight and crazy as us.

We were an integral part of their bridal party when they got married, which was right before I got pregnant with baby girl. It was an amazing day, and so special to be sharing it with them both, in such a close and intimate way.

But that was not the beginning, and it sure as hell won’t be the end. No. Our times together have many prior years and years on their wedding day… from after our high school years and through all of our twenties, birthdays and events, days out, dinner, catch-ups and plenty of laughter here, there and EVERYWHERE. I’m talking Hubbie and Hubbex jumping out of our semi-moving car after midnight singing “How Bizarre” at the top of their lungs on a Saturday night. I’m talking funny dress-ups, and stupid faces to the point that when we look back on them now, we laugh ourselves so silly that we do unintentional ab crunches from our laughter, our breath soundless and eyes all screwed up from the mad laughter that we are expressing.

I’m talking wine, I’m talking shots, and I’m talking plenty of D&Ms in-between. When I think of our long-standing history together, and think back through all of those years, I then realise how varied, vast and deep our friendship and experiences with one another are.

And generally speaking, I am proud of the maturity I’ve developed in response to the friendships and relationships in my life. Nothing remains static, stagnant. Things are ever-changing, and so too do many friendships take on a temporary ‘on hold’ spell, while life takes over, other things become more of a priority, and you move in different directions.

I love that quote, that says something like you know you have a true friend when you don’t always see each other, but when you get together it’s like no time has passed. Nothing is truer for this awesome-foursome.

Although all our lives are extremely busy, and we all have differing passions and interests and jobs that keep us entertained and out of trouble, we still make the time for each other, when we can. And tonight, while eating and drinking, listening to a whole variety of musicians and getting extremely excited over them, talking the deep philosophy of Beyoncé’s image, pruning roses, allowing baby girl to do multiple renditions of Let it Go, turning our staircase into ‘ice’ as she stamped down on the landing, and shooing off cats, we had a smashing time.

We have matured, we are older, and we have more responsibility present in our lives… but it is still us. And US, has still got IT.

Take care of your true friends, because it takes a long time to gain an ‘old friend.’ They are precious and much sought after.

After tonight, I think our future together looks just as happy/funny/silly/meaningful/profound/bright, as ever 🙂