Another drive home from being out, and another philosophical D&M.
Photo by Luigi Manga on Unsplash
The ingredients for this baked matter that seems to happen almost on a weekly basis now?
A dash of a day of drinking
A heavy sprinkle of a long drive home
And almost a necessity, 1 full cup of a sleeping baby girl in the back seat.
“Imagine Mister F.” Hubbie is giving me an example on his latest ‘thing.’
“Mister F is so scared when he hears our heavy footsteps around the house, or we close a door suddenly… imagine what he went through before coming to us to feel and act like that.”
He goes on. “Now imagine I hold that against him. I hold that weakness, that insecurity against him. I should be helping him! Reassuring him. It’s not his fault.”
I pause. “Yeah but Mister F is not attacking me is he? It’s a lot easier to help someone that is scared and isn’t out to get you… but take someone who is having a go at you, and how likely are you to want to help them out of love and care? How easy is it then?”
Clearly, we are not in Kansas anymore Toto, just as we clearly are not solely talking about our cat’s fear of our footsteps.
We are talking about something else entirely.
And in this scenario…. he is being the peacekeeper. The lover. The diffuser.
And meanwhile, I am being the fighter. Throwing Karma back in people’s faces. Going all “GRRR, ARGH!”
We are on polar opposites of this discussion.
As we drive, it literally feels like I am ripping my hair out. It drives me insane that we are on these opposite ends, and still, I understand where he is coming from, I see the peace inherent in adopting such an attitude…
I just can’t get there, myself, personally… YET.
Because I want to, just as much as I don’t want to, and this is where the battle lies. The battle with making people pay, making them hurt as much as they have hurt you… yeah sure, very ‘un-gratitude like’ for me, but some people just push my buttons, and unfortunately I can’t just press a special red button and expel them from the earth’s atmosphere. So yeah. That’s me in a really RAW nutshell.
But I listen to him. I imagine the scenarios. And though it shits me to no end, I still enjoy these talks. These debates. These to’s, and fro’s.
These talks that make us open our eyes, better ourselves, and want something more.
All when we are driving home in the car. Who said long drives were boring?
In an aside… what do YOU think?
Can you see yourself helping someone who has hindered you and hurt you? Who has failed to say sorry?
Can you move past that, forget it all, and treat them, well? With no recognition of the hurt that has passed?
Even if you feel the respect they owe to you, is all but gone?
Can you be the first to reach out and help them, when they were the first with the right-hand blow?