#1212 Coffee seclusion

We did nearly nothing today, on this long weekend Queen’s Birthday holiday. Zilch. Zero.

And we definitely needed it.

Ok so we did go to the supermarket. We needed food after all. And sure, I washed some clothes…

Sang happy birthday to my sister LOUDLY over the phone.

We ate.

But then, nada.

Nothing.

It was soon coffee time (3pm or thereabouts) and Hubbie was napping on the couch… doing, that’s right, NOTHING.

I made a coffee for myself and a babycino for baby girl. We were going to sit near Hubbie and have our drinks and some leftover birthday treats from Sis’ big birthday… but then I was like –

“nah.”

Instead, we went upstairs. To my bedroom. Some privacy for baby girl and me, and quiet for him.

‘Girl time,’ I called it. Even our cat Mister F was not allowed.

We sat on the floor looking outside. With nothing to distract us. No TV. No music. No noise. Just us. Baby girl proceeded to tell me what I should put in her lunchbox tomorrow. We talked about the party, and cake.

Then we lay on my bed, all cuddled up.

Doing absolutely nothing. And yet, my soul filled up, with EVERYTHING.

♥♥

#1169 Philosophy and the Drive Home

Another drive home from being out, and another philosophical D&M.

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Photo by Luigi Manga on Unsplash

The ingredients for this baked matter that seems to happen almost on a weekly basis now?

A dash of a day of drinking

A heavy sprinkle of a long drive home

And almost a necessity, 1 full cup of a sleeping baby girl in the back seat.

“Imagine Mister F.” Hubbie is giving me an example on his latest ‘thing.’

“Mister F is so scared when he hears our heavy footsteps around the house, or we close a door suddenly… imagine what he went through before coming to us to feel and act like that.”

He goes on. “Now imagine I hold that against him. I hold that weakness, that insecurity against him. I should be helping him! Reassuring him. It’s not his fault.”

I pause. “Yeah but Mister F is not attacking me is he? It’s a lot easier to help someone that is scared and isn’t out to get you… but take someone who is having a go at you, and how likely are you to want to help them out of love and care? How easy is it then?”

Clearly, we are not in Kansas anymore Toto, just as we clearly are not solely talking about our cat’s fear of our footsteps.

We are talking about something else entirely.

And in this scenario…. he is being the peacekeeper. The lover. The diffuser.

And meanwhile, I am being the fighter. Throwing Karma back in people’s faces. Going all “GRRR, ARGH!”

We are on polar opposites of this discussion.

As we drive, it literally feels like I am ripping my hair out. It drives me insane that we are on these opposite ends, and still, I understand where he is coming from, I see the peace inherent in adopting such an attitude…

I just can’t get there, myself, personally… YET.

Because I want to, just as much as I don’t want to, and this is where the battle lies. The battle with making people pay, making them hurt as much as they have hurt you… yeah sure, very ‘un-gratitude like’ for me, but some people just push my buttons, and unfortunately I can’t just press a special red button and expel them from the earth’s atmosphere. So yeah. That’s me in a really RAW nutshell.

But I listen to him. I imagine the scenarios. And though it shits me to no end, I still enjoy these talks. These debates. These to’s, and fro’s.

These talks that make us open our eyes, better ourselves, and want something more.

All when we are driving home in the car. Who said long drives were boring?

In an aside… what do YOU think?

Can you see yourself helping someone who has hindered you and hurt you? Who has failed to say sorry?

Can you move past that, forget it all, and treat them, well? With no recognition of the hurt that has passed?

Even if you feel the respect they owe to you, is all but gone?

Can you be the first to reach out and help them, when they were the first with the right-hand blow?

Could you???

 

 

#1158 Counting down the work days

You ever have those days, when you really don’t wanna go to work?

Ha! you say. EVERY TIME, DUH!

Seriously though… I don’t mind going to work. Sure getting up sooo early can be extremely difficult. The tip-toeing around the house, trying to leave without making any noise, driving for a minimum of an hour, only to then have to WALK 10-15 minutes from where I have parked, to my place of employment…

But after that, I get to breathe. Relax. Work at my own pace (to some extent). Have a coffee break with my colleagues. Catch up, on stuff.

Eat and drink in peace.

Have ADULT conversation.

Feel valuable and needed.

Feel confident in what I do…

Get my drift?

But still there are some days where I wake up and am all –

“UGH.”

“Ugh, I didn’t sleep enough.”

“Ugh I feel sick.”

“Ugh it was so hot last night.”

“Ugh I had a restless night.”

“Ugh baby girl is grinding her teeth again and I’ve just lost the last half hour of my night.”

Whether my reasons were one, two or 17 of the above, let’s just say I really struggled this morning when the alarm went off at 5am.

I lay in bed, thinking very hard, very seriously… wishing that I didn’t have to get up… looking over at Hubbie, and baby girl who had crept up between us only hours earlier…

Feeling a bit like this cat really.

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But then I got up.

The work countdown helped me get up. Because even though there is no official end date as yet, there is a rough, estimated date, and I can almost say with assurance that there is less than 2 months to go.

2 months. NOT EVEN.

So I lugged myself out of bed. Did the tip toeing. Did the quiet exit. Did the dark and long commute.

Walked through the warm Autumn air. Past the docked boats gently bobbing in the morning water…

And into the glaring red light.

The countdown is on. Soon I won’t be walking there, and I’ll be officially unemployed.

But I’ll be unemployed and sleeping in my warm bed at 5am, and as baby girl would say

“Na na na na boo boo.”

😉

#1133 Peace on a Saturday Night

Leading up to tonight, I thought I wanted a party.

Nup. My body told me, I needed peace.

Which is exactly what eventuated on this Saturday night.

Four Cs coincided in perfect unison for dinner, as we had Chicken, Chips and Cucumbers… while sitting on the Couch.

My night continued in this way as I went to have a hot shower.

But then downstairs, I got caught up in the sudden Crazy of it.

The nice background music turned loud, instrumental, like we were in a bar listening to a live band. INXS. Queen. 70s and 80s Aussie rock. It went up and up, and though I participated in the concert at first, my body soon repelled it.

It was as if the aches came as a result of the sound. I retreated to the other room with my tea. Sat on baby girl’s beanbag. And within minutes she found me in the Corner of the room.

She joined me quietly, and we sat, spoke softly, and rested naturally, in peace.

In Calm.

Ahhh 🙂

#1092 Feeding goats

Ohhhh, kids birthday parties. 10am Sunday morning starts will be the bane of my existence this year, I am sure.

It is only 2 weeks into the first term, and already baby girl received a birthday invite…

Sheesh, 10am? I mean, it was only a 17 minute drive, yet following the busiest and usually the latest event-night of the week, Saturday, I managed to pull myself out of bed, still tired from the night before, the week before, MY WHOLE LIFE in fact… and tried to hurry along baby girl, who really didn’t need encouraging, yet somehow, being 5, still required it.

Sigh.

Things changed quickly when we got there. The open spaces, fresh air, greenery abounding…

I LOVED IT.

(I am a big kid at heart. I just love my bed too).

It was at a farm, and the kids just wandered around as they pleased, meeting and petting the animals, having rides on ponies and tractors…

And then there were the goats.

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I didn’t realise it immediately, but sometime during the 20 or so minutes baby girl and I spent picking up lettuce and cabbage leaves from the buckets outside the enclosures, and feeding them to the goats…

Well they were about the most peaceful I have had in a while.

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It was wonderful. I found their cues fascinating. They bumped their horned heads against the fence when they wanted more; climbed up on the wiring, or tapped their hooves against it as a sign for attention.

They were speaking to us.

They liked when you placed the vegie leaves flat and delicate in between the gaps of the fence… it allowed them to gingerly pick it up with their teeth a bit easier.

I carefully tried to feed them at once. Hands outstretched in two directions, because if you fed one, sometimes a more dominant goat would push the other one out of the way because he was scared he wasn’t going to get any. Feeding them simultaneously seemed to help this problem, and I scanned the fence, offering up leaves to any goats that weren’t crunching.

If it wasn’t for the thought of fairy bread and possible birthday cake lurking in the foreground of our minds, I could have stayed there for so long… hours in fact. But the goats had munched and crunched enough, and now, it was our turn. ♥

 

#1002 Beach walk life reflection

Well since I have a coffee walk life reflection, it comes to reason that my other love will have a post of its own that concerns life and reflecting upon it… the beach, that is.

While over on this side of town to pick up some of her stuff following that party we had on the weekend, well, we just couldn’t avoid the call of the water, and the peace, calm and serenity that naturally followed.

These photos can tell you a bit more.

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We sat, we looked. We talked and walked, and thought. We breathed. We just, were.

The water was grey and not at all like the blue of the day before… and yet the soothing effect was still there.

And on an aside, something about my sister… if she doesn’t deserve an environmental award, I don’t know who does. After saving me in my phobic fear of the pink moth that had unusually placed itself in my house (yes, pink!) I snapped this photo of her at the beach:

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Looks eerie and spooky, doesn’t it? Like something out of a horror movie? Well it was anything but. She was wading out to deeper water to drop a starfish that had been washed up on the sand, using a nearby boogie board that was conveniently placed nearby – thanks kids.

And if that wasn’t enough, she also picked up broken glass on our walk, and fed a nice seagull that didn’t squawk too loudly at us.

If anyone deserves one of those beachside houses on the hill, I think it is her. 😉

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#995 Peninsula sunset no. 4

You know yesterday how I said I was feeling on top of things in preparation for my Mum’s birthday?

Today the Universe woke up, rubbed her hands together and said MWA HA HA.

I was left frazzled and frustrated in the morning when after picking up my ‘fixed’ laptop from the computer shop, I came home to find IT WAS NOT FIXED.

Back there I went, to lose a good 90 minutes of the morning in bringing it to some kind of workability.

I had to buy beans. There is only one type of bean I ever buy. But it was nearly lunchtime, so instead of having a quick cap as I had planned, I resorted to deeply inhaling the bag once it was open.

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Ahhh. Caffeine magic.

And this evening Hubbie decided to not only put his new whipper snipper together, but to also put it to use around the yard… at the ripe hour of post 6pm.

We sat down to eat dinner at almost 8. Face palm. 

You know what it is that settled me and reminded me of my insignificant and tiny place in this Universe?

The Peninsula sunset.

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Earlier, and then later. I love how the pink and orange hues in the first photo shone behind the clouds, hinting at something living, breathing, taking up residency up there in the sky…

It calmed and centred me, and that’s what I needed in this topsy-turvy day.