#2607 Nappy changes

The baby blues are a very real thing, and I’m trying my hardest to combat them.

I’m using all my years of practise with this gratitude blog to apply to these difficult days and quite frankly, depressing nights. Cluster feeding, minimal sleep, a crying newborn… no matter how much we wanted a child, the above is a concoction to make any person question themselves while going mad, especially when the above happens night after night.

But, little things, as usual. I noticed something last night during a nappy change, and it happened today too. Baby boy usually SCREAMS THE HOUSE DOWN during these, turning red, holding his breath, breaking the normal decibel levels… you know, the usual.

But at these two occasions, and it was a dirty nappy too both times, I might add… he was not screaming! He was looking around, taking it all in, totally peaceful, just chill, relax… so much less stressful for me! Just amazing. 2, out of 250 nappy changes so far, but still, it’s something.

Little things, for a little boy. 💙

#2589 9 months between views

This morning I came back to sit on this bench.

I had sat here last time 9 months ago, either recently pregnant, or on the verge of becoming pregnant.

I was thinking death. I was thinking life. I was thinking a lot of things.

Today, I was thinking LIFE.

Strength, serenity. The power of Mother Nature and all that she goes through to return to a state of peace, such as what I saw today.

Beauty. Grace. Poise.

I thought of what lay ahead for me. What I had to channel. And how through the most difficult of storms, equilibrium is returned.

The Bay is shining again.

I thought of all of this and took it in.

Breathe in… breathe out.

Trust in the Universe. Trust in Life. Trust in Mother Nature.

Be reminded of her ancient wisdom. Everything will be alright. 🙏💞

#2480 The return of the coffee walk

How can a coffee walk feel soooo good?

I think because this doesn’t happen that much any more.

Or, it hasn’t for a while, until now.

Me, alone.

Day off.

Weather, acceptable.

Feeling good.

FRIDAY!

It was a mild morning as I set off after school drop-off to get me some coffee in my writerly keep mug. As I started walking, I realised just how relaxed, and happy, and peaceful I felt.

Why?

It wasn’t just that coffee is back in my life. No, it’s something else that makes me happy, and it’s the journey.

The process.

The anticipation of coffee, and the walk to getting the coffee, there’s just something about it, I don’t know…

Is it self-indulgent? Is it because it’s me time? Taking time out? Enjoying life?

It is the smallest of things, and yet it feels like everything. This morning, it was everything.

It’s a good thing I think, when little things can be everything. Let’s inject more little things like this that make us happy, into our lives.

💖💖☕☕

#2335 Nice start Sunday

I woke up, in the double digits today.

I was well rested.

The house was quiet.

Baby girl was doing her own thing in her room.

Hubbie was tinkering in the garage.

Bless my family… they had kept it down on a Sunday. 🙏

The sun was shining outside as I made my way to the kitchen.

It was so still, so peaceful.

We ended up having breakfast all together on the back deck, and it was simply the perfect way to start a low-key Sunday. 💖💖

#2319 Where my feet lead me

I had the day to myself today, and I totally needed it.

All my days are so structured. Work, school drop-off and pick-up, after-school activity chauffeuring, then there’s the groceries, odd jobs and appointments, cleaning, cooking, washing… 🤯

So when I dropped off baby girl at school today, I was honestly a little lost. I had a decent to-do list, but I was awaiting a tradie to come and give us a quote, but didn’t know what time he’d be over, so I literally started driving… with no clear place to go.

Slowly, a plan formed. I would get some presents I needed to get while in the area…

But of course, the places I needed to look at weren’t open yet, so…

I found my feet leading me down the Main Street. I kinda knew where I was headed, before I KNEW where I was headed, if you know what I mean. 😆

Within 10 minutes, I had an egg and bacon toastie, a coffee, and I was sitting in front of this view:

I spent a good half hour there, eating, drinking, watching. Breathing too, that is important.

I love my town. I love it most when it is quiet actually. It’s often hard to imagine it as still as it was this morning, especially if you see it come peak period on hot days and over Summer.

But after school drop-off, you know there are only locals around. A handful of people walking their dogs on the beach, a few I exchanged good mornings with. A massive sea bird flew low over the water, its huge wings flapping slowly and deliberately, but with great strength.

It was all so grey, but so peaceful. It was beautiful.

These are the things I love to be still for, to witness.

I still got to do all my jobs, but in this short span of time that occupied the morning, I loved the freedom of letting my feet do the decision-making, of letting it lead me to where it needed to go. 🙏💖

#2234 Peninsula sunset no. 13

I’m always showcasing bright, beautiful and colourful skies here on this side of the world.

But today, I don’t know…

I still found this beautiful. There was not a colour in sight, only a monochrome grey. The water is only just distinguishable from the sky, and yet there was something special about how it was all the same, it all blended into one…

It was so simple, really. Peaceful and calming. 💖

#2100 Sounds of rain

I sit here at night, and the sounds of rain falling outside surround me.

It comes, but then it goes. There is a sudden downpour, and the night is filled with falling water, like a rush of air, a waterfall sighing.

But just as quickly it recedes, and in its wake leaves pitter patter sounds from the overflowing gutters, which makes splashes and forms puddles on the ground below.

Cars throw it up in sprays and splurts as they drive past in the black of night.

The rainfall becomes louder as it becomes the only sound. Knockings on the roof punctuate the night, and intrude on our slumber.

A solitary car drives past.

In moments the rain clouds are gone, but the dripping remains.

Drip, drip, drip.

Then every now and then, a single drop.

Photo by Sourav Mishra on Pexels.com

#1959 Happy and peaceful right now

I write this in the present tense, because I’m feeling it now.

I’m happy, I’m relaxed, I’m at peace. It’s a Sunday night. The heater is doing it’s job. Comfy pjs on. Body unwinding after a late evening yoga workout.

Hubbie is napping on the couch. Baby girl is playing games.

Me?

I’m sipping hot camomile tea, looking at a delicious pear cake recipe I just found, Mister F in my foreground in his usual place on top of the corner heater vent.

Yes I have work tomorrow, but baby girl doesn’t have school.

Holidays. Sleep in. 👊

I’m happy in this little moment, and am reminded of the fact that life is mainly comprised of these little moments. We can’t wait for the big events all the time.

Live fully and be present in the in-betweens.

And therein lies part of the secret… the secret to happiness…

Gratitude, in the little things. 🙏

Ahh.

#1911 A pause

What a difference 24 hours makes.

Yesterday the sky was bright blue, the sun shining amidst still air…

Today?

Grey, grey, grey.

Days like these encourage you to snuggle up, stay in, pile on the clothes and blankets, and turn up that heater.

Baby girl generally doesn’t stop. We were trying to chill this evening and she was doing gymnastic-type jumps over the couch, dangerously close to our tall lamp…

But then, she stopped. She sat next to me.

Maybe it was the cold. Maybe it was the after-effects of her Monday afternoon swimming class.

Either way, she snuggled in close to me, and was still.

She was leaning on me. Her arms wrapped around me, legs on my legs, and my arms resting on hers.

And it was beautiful.

I think the cold does that. It brings us a pause. A moment to stay still, and just BE.

#1830 Me time, beach time

At least once a year, I try to do a beach visit ON MY LONESOME.

You might think that is soooo easy living by the beach and all… but let me explain.

I am a Mum, so I have Mum duties. Baby girl has to be at school.

I am a wife, so I have wife duties. Hubbie has to be at work.

I do everything else around the house, so like, it has to be a chore ‘light’ day…

I work, so it needs to be a work free day.

We live in Melbourne, so we need to have good weather…

😮😮🤣🤣

AND if all of THAT wasn’t enough, we are living in the time of corona, so we need Dan to let us go to the beach!

Phew. That’s a long list.

Can you see why I only aim for once a year?

Maybe in due time, more solo visits will be possible. Maybe yes, maybe no.

All I know is, I chilled for an hour or two…

read a book…

dipped my toes into the warm water…

let the sun beat down on me…

and closed my eyes to the swirl of waves, wind and little kids squealing around me.

The sound was so full. But my mind was so peaceful. 💖🏖