#545 Face paint at almost 3(4)

When you write a gratitude blog, you are looking at the happier things in life.

Brighter moments.

Uplifting times.

A flower blooming bright amidst grey concrete.

The rainbow that follows a dark storm.

The perfect coffee to perk you up on a cold Winter’s morning (of course, coffee).

But when it comes to Motherhood and kids, life is soooo off-kilter. There is a lot to be grateful for, but there is also a lot to bang your head against the wall in frustration too.

Take today for instance. We celebrated baby girl’s 4th birthday.

Do I mention how she hid under the table and didn’t come out as visitors came forward to wish her a happy day? No.

Do I mention how she only wanted to stay outside, away from everyone inside, and only came in when she fell and grazed her knee and I forced her to? No.

Do I mention how she screamed with fury when everyone started singing happy birthday to her? No.

No No No.

Because I’m also a glass half-full gal, which makes writing a blog like this, a bit easier, amidst challenging times. Diplomatically speaking.

So, I am grateful that I got a little face ‘decorating’ done today. Of course baby girl refused her face and got her hands painted instead (of course, it’s her birthday after all), but as soon as I organised the face painter to come for the kids, I immediately thought ‘I’m getting something too.’

I thought that, because I am young at heart, and baby girl brings that out in me, even more. And not only do I enjoy her birthday and the fun that these events bring to her, but it is double the fun, because actually…

Baby girl and I share a birthday. What do you know. Double the trouble.

So any excuse for a big party for her, is an excuse for a big party for me. And any excuse to get face painting for her…

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Is an excuse to get face painting for ME.

Bright flowers and blooming butterflies. We focus on the positive things here.

Eternally youthful… I don’t care for growing up.

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#492 Park Days no. 2

It was a very good day today. I was emotional, teary, and super-proud as punch as the kindergarten teacher told me how well baby girl was doing during her mid year parent/teacher mini-interview.

She is 3, in a predominantly 4 year old class. Not intended – that’s just how it happened. There weren’t enough 3s for a class of their own so they separated them into the 3 classes there are per week.

Every child has their own personal talents, and their own personal challenges. Baby girl does not differ. And yet, to hear such beautiful and encouraging feedback, about her positive self-esteem, sharing nature, ability to play well in a group, and to listen in group story-time, well…

IT MADE MY HEART SOAR.

As we were leaving the kindergarten, heading over to the park beside it that she hadn’t yet been to, I felt like I wanted to give her the world. I know I do already, but to hear such happy and positive news, I felt like I wanted to give her everything.

I know I already do. I was just so bloody proud.

So I pulled her aside and said “baby girl, look at Mummy – I am so, so proud of you. Mummy loves you.”

She smiled and then charged forward towards the playground she has been eyeing off for 6 months.

And so, we had a splendid park day.

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And for anyone thinking their Mum-kid relationship today was nothing like the above scenario, I’ll provide you with the humbling addition that we ended the day crying, exhausted, and angrily threatening “no book!”

Balance. It’s key. Still proud though 😉

#478 Turning bad news, into a good day

Anyone who would have seen Hubbie galloping alongside baby girl this afternoon in a playful fashion, laughing excitedly as we all headed hungrily towards the Westfield Doncaster glammed-up food court, would not for a moment have guessed that less than an hour earlier, he was receiving not-so-favourable news.

It wasn’t good news.

You see, he had seen an Endodontist this morning, and had been told that the front tooth he was experiencing some sensitivity with, this tooth that had been hit in a basketball game over a decade earlier, was slowly dying from the root, and his body had been slowly rejecting it all this time.

The tooth, could not be saved. It had to be removed, a denture put in for a while, and then eventually a false tooth to be permanently drilled into his gum.

All for a fair bit of $$$.

As he laughed alongside baby girl, I observed them and you couldn’t really tell who was sillier, who was more childlike of the two. I had to wonder ‘had he just been given bad news?’

Yes, he had. And yet he turned the day around, accepted it for what it was, and despite the knowledge of what was ahead, and the realisation that he could not save his damaged tooth as he had hoped, he looked at the positive and moved forward.

So we had a delicious Schnitz lunch.

We splurged on some clothes from Dangerfield – his and hers.

We had some coffee and cake at Zumbo café – sharing a cronut, and taking no heed of the advice from the Endodontist that sugar can rot your teeth in as little as half an hour after eating it, and that no, brushing your teeth twice a day does apparently jack sh*t towards preventing decay. Yay.

And then later at home, we got some pizza for dinner, danced with baby girl around the kitchen to Wiggles songs (that could have been a gratitude post in itself) and then drank red wine and ate some more doughnuts (you only live once, so screw advice)

It was a great day, and we had a lot of fun.

I feel especially lucky and fortunate to have a man like Hubbie by my side. It wasn’t me instigating the turn around of negative to positive energies today. It was him. ALL him. He was certainly dismayed by the news, and it WAS NOT what he was hoping to hear, at all. But having gone through some serious, heavy shit these last few years, he knew, that in comparison, this was a pebble drop into a pond compared to some boulders he’s seen smash through the smooth surface of pristine waters.

His attitude shift and positivity inspire me, and the fact that he turned something bad, into good, is kind of the point of this blog, isn’t it?

Ain’t love grand 🙂

 

#261 Sister’s phone call

She knew I was going through a hard time. Still, despite how busy and run off her feet she is, she called me this morning to see how I was.

That meant a lot.

We talked for a LONG while. I shed some tears, and also, many frustrations. We talked about the issues at hand… and though for some things there were avenues to be explored, with others it was just the good ol’ fashioned way: sit it out.

Sit in the crap, and know it WILL pass.

And that was it. I mean, it wasn’t just it. It was all, everything to me. But the conversation which probably went on for about an hour, didn’t magically solve all my problems. It was just having someone listen to, validate my feelings and emotions, and just having someone care. Someone try to think of how to make my life easier. Someone to actually give a damn. To go out of their way to help.

That someone is my sister. I am God damn lucky to have her.

And the phone call was well-timed. Although I had been emotional, I went on with the rest of my day in a newer light… thinking of the words she had said in the phone call, thinking of her…

Often it’s hard to be a glass-half full gal. Because when you’re down, you know you should get yourself up, get out of the funk, try and move on… and this acknowledgement is worse, as it makes you feel even unhappier that you are upset in the first place. You should know better, you tell yourself.

What’s gold, is having someone like my sister around. Because when my positive vibes aren’t flowing, she is there to lend me some of hers.

And all it took, was a phone call.

#197 Bank lender

Today has been one of those crazy, nonsense, ‘what-else-could-happen?’ days. However amidst the madness, I would like to express kindness towards our bank lender. Let me count the ways…

  • Firstly, she is great in that she is realising our Sea change dream. No mind the fact that we actually need to find the funds for it, but she’s helped make the task easier.
  • She is open, straight, and friendly, and I feel so comfortable picking up the phone to call her or shooting off a quick email at every moment when the situation requires.
  • She laughs at me when I ask a lot of questions or get highly stressed, and I know she’s not LAUGHING AT ME, rather laughing at my ridiculousness and then trying to assure me, and that’s ok.
  • She doesn’t appear to bullshit. I like this. She just gets to the point – yes or no. We can or we can’t.
  • She has kids too, so she totally got it when baby girl started climbing under her desk and pulling at computer cables. People without kids, dealing with my kid, just stresses me out.

Prior to finding this bank lender, we met with another mortgage lender… and though this lady was meant to be one of the best, we just didn’t gel with her. We couldn’t. It was at a time of our lives where we were still trying to work out what direction (literally) we wanted to go, and so I think her presence reflected our home-search uncertainty.

Maybe it was never meant to be.

Our current home lender though, we found through our bank… and I’m not giving names, I’m not naming institutions… but we go to these places so that they make our lives easier when push comes to shove and the ball is rolling and can not stop so hurry up and run and beat it before it breaks something at the bottom of the hill.

I saw her today, and she answered all my questions, and was just… lovely.

It’s important to surround yourself with good people, and by good people, I mean those on your wavelength, who can see your dream, your vision.

If something just doesn’t feel right… move on. Don’t let someone change your direction because they can’t see it themselves.

 

#171 I outbid them

It’s become a bit of the norm now, me posting post-midnight on a Saturday night/early Sunday morning.

Things are done, events happen, circumstances change, enlightening moments are had. D&Ms, partying hard, routine completely out-of-whack, no time to rest – these are all the elements of what constitute me usually posting so late on a Saturday. Usually one, or many elements join together to make it a memorable and jam-packed day.

But what if all of the above happened in one day?

Today, my blogging friends, was a big day.

You know that speech Jerry Maguire gives towards the end of the film when he walks in on Dorothy during her sister’s group for ex-wives/disgruntled women/desperate-and-dateless-whatevers, he says something along the lines of their company having had a huge night, a very big night.

I am Jerry Maguire, saying that today was mammoth. Because today I learnt for real, that dreams can come true. They do.

Today I bid at my first auction, and won our Sea change house. I still can’t freaking believe it. It happened. It really happened. It’s still happening, and I need to seriously pinch myself.

I was freaking out. I had to do it without Hubbie. He couldn’t get out of work for the auction, so I had a large support team with me: my Mum, sister, bro-in-law, and of course my good luck charm, baby girl.

And boy was she good luck.

Having never raised a hand at any auction before, today, I brought it home. Amidst intense competition. I was scared and shaking and dizzy, and somehow I pulled a poker face and planted some sunnies on to shield my eyes Jerry Maguire style, and I brought the mother fucker home.

We will now be moving to our beach-side lifestyle, our Sea change dream, our destination of destinations, in a matter of months.

I am not only so grateful we got it – WE GOT IT! – but I am so happy that I managed to hold it together and find that fire within me, that force that is to be reckoned with, that Lion that announces itself with a “ROAR.”

I realised that that feline in me has been stifled for quite some time. Call it life’s pressures, insecurities, doubts. Whatever. But I was reminded of what I have in the depths of my soul, and at the end of the day, I had to rise to the challenge, because… who else would do it? Not my neighbour. Not my colleagues. I wanted the house, Hubbie was unable to come, and I came to the party. Which I’ll be throwing for quite a while now let me assure you.

The main message out of all of this?

Dreams can come true. They do. You just need to find the fire within you.

Stay passionate and unrelenting.

Keep positive vibes flowing around you. Don’t let any toxicity or toxic people into your sphere of dreams.

Keep your vision clear, and bright in your mind, and feel the joy that comes with it.

I sound like The Secret I know, but seriously, this shit is real. I learnt that myself today.

And then came the applause… the auctioneer yelled “SOLD!” and I laughed as everyone in the yard started clapping for me, in shocked disbelief about their genuine happiness, baby girl chiming in and laughing at them all, unaware that her whole life was about to change…