What a gloriously sunny Winter’s day it was today. 🌞
I was feeling a bit off, but come work-from-home knock-off time, after baby girl and I did our new routine of watching Friends with our coffee and babycino – yes, my 8-year-old (8!😮) is actually getting through the entire series of Friends! – we decided to go for a slow, leisurely walk around the block.
We found a basket of lemons, even though the sign said limes… maybe they were all out? 😂 And it was truly beautiful, being in the moment and just wandering through the still, sunny afternoon, hand in hand, talking about whatever floated into our minds.
I continued the slow and steady at home when I took a mag I bought recently to the balcony, to indulge in some more ‘me’ relaxation time.
Even on those days when you feel a little less than yourself, doing these small, therapeutic things can make the world of difference.
I was overcome with profound happiness and lightness today.
I finally got back to The Loft, a place that I visited late last year for a discovery session.
And discovered myself I did. Part yoga/exercise/pilates/psychic (I don’t know how else to explain it) this integrative movement space that uses reformer beds made me question and think things I hadn’t before.
I became much more aware of my body and the way I carry myself, the way physical and emotional pain can store tension in the body and create dis-ease, and so, so much more.
But today I went back, just to a small class environment. Not a one-on-one this time though.
The discovering (in some sense) was over. Now it was the DOING part.
I was nervous initially. Whereas in large classes you can kinda hide within like, 15 people in a large room… in a small, no, tiny room of 4 other ladies, there is NO WHERE to hide!
But I got through. All the stretches, the burns, the moving your legs in a circular motion this way, then that way… 😂
But I was moved most when we got to the end of the class, during the relaxing, Savasana.
I was moved emotionally. Because as we all lay on our reformers, breathing deeply, letting go of distracting thoughts, I let the teacher’s words fill me up from within. She was telling us how in moments of peace, of meditation, we tend to think of the past, or the future, and with the future we try to guess how things will be.
We try to predict, and we think we know, but we don’t. None of it is true, they are just thoughts, assumptions, most of which probably won’t even come true.
The only thing true, she said, is this present moment. And with the eye pillow resting lightly on my face, my feet meeting at the soles resting on the bar above me, she said “All that is true is that you are a beautiful woman. You are sitting on a reformer. And you are relaxed.”
And with that she left us to breathe and be still for a few more minutes.
It really struck a chord, so much so I felt my eyes welling up underneath the eye pillow. Something about it hit me hard. It hit a spot, and I don’t even know which spot, except for it might be a place where I tend to overthink, or expect too much, or am too hard on myself.
I walked out of that room, feeling lighter. Happier. Freer. More hopeful than ever.
And to celebrate, well you can guess what I did…
I had to get a coffee from down the road, and one of those super clean treats, a Snickers bar, except this thing is like gluten/vegan/dairy free for example, and is loaded with things like nuts and dates and coconut oils and what have you, and it was THE BOMB. Oh My God. How can healthy taste so good?
I was still amazed at how incredible I was feeling. I felt on top of the world.
I wanted to feel like this every day.
I’ve found a new favourite place. 🙏
In case you’re interested, here is what I wrote to her, which she shared on her Facebook stories… 💖
These are the lyrics sung by Queen in the song ‘The Night Comes Down’ on their self-titled first album.
And I can’t help but think of these lyrics when looking out at the sky tonight.
The sky, which came darker, earlier. I can’t lie and tell you I’m jumping for joy over the thought of reduced daylight hours, colder days and cooler nights, shivering as I head outside instead of relaxing in overabundant warmth.
But the older I get, the more I am coming to appreciate all of the seasons.
The last 6 months have been crazy. We’ve gone from a covid world, to attempting a life back to ‘normal’ following super-tight restrictions.
We all went a bit crazy. We’ve tried to cram in as much as we can, as much outside/social/happening time as we can, because you know, you just don’t know.
We don’t know what is in store for us. In life, and in covid.
And so the last 6 months, which have honestly been horrific-ly long at times, while also being stunningly beautiful, well I won’t mind to see the back of as daylight fades a bit.
I am feeling up for some mellower days. Staying in. Watching Netflix. Board games. Reality TV. Shopping where I’m not sad to be missing out on the outdoors. Catch-ups with family and friends, sitting around the table and sharing our woes, our laughter.
There is a season for every moment. I am coming to appreciate the different aspects of each, instead of only holding on stubbornly to Summer.
Every season brings with it something beautiful. It’s up to each of us individually, to find out what that ‘something’ is.