Never in my life did I ever think I would be so grateful for toilet paper.
I mean, even writing this gratitude blog, where I often talk about very simple, every day things that I’m appreciative for. Even toilet paper, that one item that we take for granted, that item that we literally wipe our asses on, and yet the one item that helps keep us so hygienic, allowing us to clean ourselves and flush it all away without a second thought.
Even that, very important necessity item. Considered a luxury in a lot of third world countries… yet something we have tonnes of in the Western world.
We have options. 1ply, 2ply, 3ply. Large commercial public toilet rolls… organic, bleached and non-bleached… recycled, patterned and coloured… even large packets that come with convenient handles that help us lug the monstrous packages to our car.
We have a lot of options.
We had a lot of options.
Now we are lucky to find the damn paper.
This coronavirus panic has materialised itself in Australia in the most bizarre way. And though my concerns about the actual virus itself have grown day by day, as I learn more about it, and as more travel and social bans are imposed upon the country in order to keep us safe from contracting it, it seems a lot of people are just panic buying, and as well as clearing the supermarket shelves from all long-life and tinned food, the main priority, for a virus that attacks the respiratory system, was how we were going to control our bums.
As simple as that. There is actually no logic to it.
Virus that attacks your lungs? Buy toilet paper.
I have no clue as to the link between the two.
This sheep mentality as I like to call it, has meant that people that haven’t been panic buying, are almost forced to, in order to protect themselves against the inevitability that there will be nothing left for them in the probability that we have to self-isolate.
I was down to 4 rolls. 4 rolls. 2 in use, and 2 that were sitting there, just waiting to be wasted.
My parents offered me rolls last week, but I was over-confident in my toilet paper buying abilities over the week… and then both Hubbie and I went all over town and still found NOTHING.
Fortunately for me, I have more than one person who cares about how much toilet paper we have in the household. Sis called the other day to tell me how Aldi seemed a better bet to get toilet paper from. Even though the major supermarkets are getting truck loads of it delivered every morning, it goes within hours.
And although the other 2 big chains sell out quickly, Sis seemed to think, going by her recent luck, that Aldi seemed like the better option… and then the knowledge that they opened at 8:30am (not having to get up at the start time of 6am like the other two chains) felt so much more achievable for me, and like I might actually get it.
So… this happened today.
I got there before opening time, to a crowd of about 40 people waiting outside the closed doors. Everyone was fairly orderly yet had one very specific thing on their mind, and we all headed to the toilet paper aisle to get it.
24 rolls. 24! I am so bloody relieved after nearly shitting myself for a moment there (deliberate pun).
So, in case you too are freaking out as to where to get toilet paper from in Australia, and if 6am is awfully impossible too for you to get up for, try Aldi. The stores I checked out open at 8:30am every day. If you can pop in before work, school drop-off, or have someone grab it for you…
There you go. Good luck. That’s my community public service announcement.
We all need someone to look out for us. Let’s just pray that toilet paper is the biggest of our concerns.