#1448 The Saturday night drive home

How can a drive home be considered exciting? Rather, does it mean the night and time out preceding it was crap, if the drive is a highlight?

Not necessarily.

Being on the side of town away from A LOT (ahem, all) of our family and friends, it comes to reason that when there is a party/function/birthday/catch-up/dinner, it’s usually NOT in our neck of the woods.

It doesn’t matter how much fun I have during the night. It’s unavoidable that the night will wear on, and I will grow tired.

At this stage, the drive home ahead of me seems so long, and my eyes become heavy at the thought.

But then something happens. The same thing that happens every drive home on a Saturday.

Baby girl falls asleep.

Hubbie and I are listening to music.

And we’re talking.

It’s the talking that’s grand. Hubbie and I talk and talk… about everything. Everything is different at night, at the end of the day, when we’re so relaxed and ready for bed.

The words come easy. Topics are more passionate. We are more loving.

And by the time we get home, like tonight, I am almost sad.

Because the talking is so good, I want to keep driving. 🚘😉

 

#1368 Sleep socks

I love my sleep socks.

What the hell are sleep socks?

Well, they are socks specifically for the purpose of sleeping in them. Think fluffy, long, super comfy and too thick to wear with regular shoes…

But I don’t really sleep with them.

Sure I end up in bed with them on MANY a night… but during the night all too often I find myself kicking them off in my dreams.

I wear them all around the house on cold nights. Think of them as my Winter accompaniment…

Only we are in Melbourne peeps, and we all know Winter can happen, even on December 25th…

Or November 13th. Like today.

It has been soooo cold lately. Tonight I was feeling chilly and worn out, and just as the heater went on (I know, it’s Spring – hangs head in shame) so too did my sleep socks.

I have like, 6 pairs. Super fluffy ones for those Antarctic nights in Winter… a couple of basic ones in different colours that are kind of like, mid-range in warmth but still totally do the job… and then I have my long ones.

My long spotty sleep socks.

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This is me with my feet up as baby girl falls asleep. These socks are specifically for when it is colder than normal, but not that freezing that I need to throw on a Winter coat or anything.

Hence, tonight.

I bloody love my sleep socks. And living where I do, I can be assured they come in handy, ALL year round.

 

#1288 Planting synopses and seeds

First, it was the SYNOPSIS.

Baby girl came up this morning but then proceeded to sleep, loudly. Congested or not, she was breathing so deeply and we just couldn’t sleep anymore. Hubbie and I got up, leaving her sleeping alone in our bed, and went to have breakfast.

She was still sleeping after that, so I thought it was the perfect opportunity to spend time doing what I hadn’t been doing for the LONGEST TIME… which was working on my novel. I was due to submit a synopsis of it at midnight tonight for my recent course, and I hadn’t really started.

So off to work I went.

As I looked for plot points and complications, the turning points and climax, I realised something… I had forgotten a lot. When something is amassing 97,000 words, you can understand that some things may be forgotten… and every time I have gone to re-edit, I have generally read the first few chapters, before getting distracted for a while, and then coming back to it… only to start at the beginning AGAIN.

And also, I finished writing this novel, let’s see…. sometime in 2012. That’s a whole 7 years. A LOT can be forgotten in that time.

And I had. Forgotten a lot. I had to bring up my original manuscript, pour over sections, and something became very clear, very quickly.

I really liked it.

I know that is a massive breach of what you are allowed to say as a creative person! You are meant to say things like –

“oh, that old thing.”

OR

“Yeah, it’s ok (hair flip) I could’ve have done better.”

OR

“It is a piece of shit,” (with a hyena-type laugh because you’ve just scored yourself a major contract).

But I found myself more times than not, reading things over even when I didn’t have to.

I was re-discovering my story. I was finding twists and surprises I had put in there long ago, and I was pleasantly surprised I had managed to do that, even before my online writing courses had been a glimmer of a thought.

Clearly I still have a lot of work in front of me. But I felt the structure, was pretty good. The premise, was entertaining enough.

I liked my characters.

I liked my overall meaning.

I liked my ending.

I was proud of myself.

(Pat on the back :))

So I sat there, in my pjs ’til about 1pm (baby girl did come down and I did stop to give her breakfast) at the laptop, pouring over my novel and expelling more of my soul into the synopsis than I even thought possible.

I planted the synopsis.

And then I planted the SEEDS.

Or should I say bulbs. Tulip bulbs. And before I have gardeners sending me angry emails of “how dare you plant in Winter,” be assured I FORGOT to plant the bulbs in Autumn, I really did.

After the tulips I got from the Tulip festival last year had their run and their petals fell off, I did as recommended and gathered the bulbs and put them in a plastic bag, to lay dormant over the year so that they could be re-planted the next.

Sure, I missed Autumn. But I read somewhere that these flowers were hardy AS. They could handle almost anything. I was urged to try regardless, and so today we finally took them out of the bag…

And shock horror… they had SPROUTED!

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In the bag! It gave me hope! If they could sprout in the bag, imagine what they could do in SOIL????

We covered the 8 bulbs we had and fertilised and watered them, and then I told baby girl and Hubbie we all had to send it lovely positive thoughts.

It is in a pot outside the room where I sit and write. So hopefully sometime in Spring, I will be reaping the fruits of both my SYNOPSES and SEEDS labours….

;);););)

 

 

 

 

#1286 Friday fun day

First on the agenda for mine and baby girl’s day off together?

Cuddle in bed under the covers. Ahhh. Because with all our early school starts we haven’t done that in ages.

After lots of laughter together, breakfast and brushing of teeth, it was time to…

Build LEGO.

It was this 6+ marine biology type set she got for her birthday, and she had been wanting to build it all week, and had waited pretty patiently all week… ’til today.

It took 1 and a half hours to build 3 of the 5 sections… and it still wasn’t done. We had an impromptu interval where we got up and danced to the ipod music, the sun streaming through the windows, encouraging Mister F near us and our bird outside, we’ll call him Orange-cheeks, to dance along. Mister F stared wide-eyed while Orange-cheeks did a kind of bob, and we just laughed.

The bigger fun came in the afternoon. After a quick coffee and babycino stop, dressed as Snow White as per her Book Week character from the day before, we went to the park.

Now it was sunny, but it was also, breezy. So cold, I ran to get our jackets from the car as she headed toward the monkey bars. Nice move Melbourne. Nice move.

Despite the cold, it was so good to be out. So close to the water. Amongst the grand old trees. Just reminded that soon, the weather will shift, adjust, and these park days will be more frequent and enjoyable.

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As she lay in bed tonight baby girl said “Mama, I had the best day ever with you.”

I smiled. “Me too honey.”

#1285 Looking forward to 3

It’s all about numbers ain’t it? Yesterday 7, today 3.

And you know what has me sooo relieved and happy today?

Baby girl has a curriculum day tomorrow. Friday.

I have finished work. Which means no shift on, Saturday.

Sunday, is well… Sunday.

I have three days off in a row.

Three sleep-ins in a row!

I am on the cusp of all this slumber, and I CAN’T WAIT!!!

#1256 Asleep in my arms

I sat on the couch after work, as Hubbie and I aired some grievances.

Not at each other… but at LIFE.

Baby girl was next to me. She wanted to sit as close to me as possible… then she wanted me to cover her with the throw that was draped around me. Soon we were sharing.

It seemed the more heated the conversation between Hubbie and I got, and the more frustrated we became with our topics, the closer she got to me. Soon she was asking to sit on my lap, and I pulled her on top of my crossed legs, covering us with the throw, as my blood continued to boil.

My anxiety rose. I felt I had to practice some deep breathing. All of my insides felt like they had been twisted up and left to untangle, and yet they weren’t… with every word and utterance I only grew more upset and frazzled, as baby girl hugged me and nuzzled her head into my chest.

I took a deep breath.

“She’s gonna fall asleep,” said Hubbie glancing at her.

“No she’s not,” I said dismissively. We kept talking… and as I held her in my arms, I suddenly realised.

She WAS asleep.

Her breathing was deep and ragged. She was totally stuffed. Two nights of school productions had taken it out of her. Here I was, all tense and crazy and mad, heaving up and down and getting shitty with everything… and meanwhile baby girl had not minded.

Had not minded one bit.

She had come up close, for love, for comfort, for my heartbeat… and had fallen asleep in seconds.

I was forced to think. Be present. Breathe more calmly. Hubbie left the room, and I hugged her back. Breathed her in. Remembered when she was a baby, and used to fall asleep on me sometimes, when we were on the couch… oh that’s right, that very couch.

I started to relax. I realised I had never thought she would fall asleep on me again. She was bigger after all. 5 going on 16 as I sometimes say. And yet here she was, loving me, and giving me exactly what I needed, even though I didn’t realise it at the time.

Time out. A chance to step back. Reassess. Most importantly, appreciate the beautiful moment.

I rested my head on hers for a bit and almost fell asleep myself. My hands lay on her school uniform. Her pony tail coming loose and stretched out in front of me.

And I was happy to just BE, with her. ♥

#1244 10am slow start

The grass is always greener.

We are always looking for that which we don’t have, looking behind us to what has happened, or looking too far in front of us to even appreciaite what is happening… TO US.

I was waking up in bed post 9:40am this morning. Unlike other mornings, there was no peep from baby girl in her room. She has been sick, and having been so tired from it all, has not been coming up to my bed in the mornings.

I tossed. I turned. I tried to wake up.

Come on wake up!

It was hard. I had grown accustomed to 1am bedtimes. The house goes to sleep, and I stay awake, doing stuff, writing, catching up on things that fill me with purpose and enrich my soul.

And then I wake late the next day.

Wake up! You need to get used to term 3 starting next week.

Ahh, the dreaded back-to-school start. I pondered. I thought. I wondered if the cat was meowing in the laundry yet. And then I moved my mind back to my place in bed.

It occurred to me… isn’t this what I dream of when baby girl IS at school? These sleep-ins, from late nights, leading to slow mornings and cruisy days? Wasn’t this what I longed for for weeks on end, and now I was feeling guilty, almost rushed because of it?

So what if the kids went back to school next week! This was my last Friday, alone in bed,, with the winds raging outside and the temps at an all-time low…

If there was any day I was allowed to stay in bed, it was then. NOW.

On a cold and wintery July’s day on the school holidays.

5-10 minutes passed, and I still got up. I made the bed and wandered on down to put on the heater.

But my perspective had changed. I wasn’t worried anymore. I wasn’t getting guilt what I should be doing.

Because I was just doing ME, and making myself happy.

Take it in.

Enjoy.

Things change.