Today was Wednesday, and a gorgeous one at that.
We went out to brunch and then because Winter was officially over, we were able to walk down to the beach.
For the longest time we’ve both had no time, and the weather has been truly horrible. If it were at least still, even being icy cold, we could have had a walk on the beach. But it was always icy, always windy, always rainy.
It really wasn’t very nice beach-walking weather.
Today was the total opposite. Sun shining bright. No wind. A gentle warmth in the air.
It was magic. ✨
We headed on down to Mother’s Beach, then walked across the sand some distance before we made it to another lot of stairs, leading back up to the main road above.
After walking up some of the steps, there’s a platform where you can look at the beach around and below. We paused here for a few moments, taking in the beautiful view, and I even took a few photos.
Then it hit me.
I remembered being at this exact same outlook with Hubbie almost two years ago. It was a beautiful sunny day. And my mind was being ravaged with dark, sad, scared thoughts.
I was worried. I was emotional. I had a procedure coming up, and I had no idea of what the future held. Feeling extremely uncertain and out-of-control in your life is an incredibly hard place to be. I remember being emotional, a bit teary, and just staring out the beautiful waters before me, Hubbie by my side, as always, the gorgeous vista definitely not reflecting the woes of my mind.
I recounted this memory to Hubbie, and I immediately grew emotional. Not only had I learnt a massive lesson after my procedure – that everything was ok, to some extent – but I also learnt most importantly, that I was stronger than I ever believed possible.
That was a huge, huge takeaway for me.
I had survived that, and now, after all this time of woe and frustration, I had a miracle growing inside of me.
How could I not cry?
To be on the other side, as I’ve mentioned so much lately, is a beautiful thing. I was saying it to Hubbie the other day as well. For so long I longed and wondered how it would feel like to be excited to be expecting again, to have our loved ones happy for us and planning as much as we were, and now, we were here.
We were living it. All the happy things, were actually happening.
I was overcome with emotion. 🥲🥲
But then, something even BETTER this afternoon. I was at my monthly acupuncture appointment, and my acupuncturist left me with pins all over to rest in a half-sleep state in the dim room… but someone else had other plans.
Baby. Baby started moving. Now this isn’t anything new. I’ve felt movements now for 3 weeks, and have felt more and more sure it’s baby as we’ve gone on on this journey.
But it was strong. It was specific. It was almost, like a pulse.
Curiosity got the better of me. I opened my eyes, lifting my head forward so I could look down at my belly.
Two pins on my exposed belly. One, two. I focused on the left of my belly, waiting, waiting…
Kick. Kick.
Wait, what? I just saw that!
Kick!
I could see baby kicking!
OMG. I couldn’t believe it. I saw a few more movements, before lying my head back down and closing my eyes in disbelief. I questioned myself, wondering if I had in fact seen movement in such a dimly lit room?
5-10 minutes later I was feeling it again. I opened my eyes, checked again, and there it was again!
Kick, kick, kick!
WOW! I told my acupuncturist when she re-entered the room, and she said with a big smile that that happens very often with her pregnant patients… the acupuncture triggers the parasympathetic nervous system to relax more, and somehow in doing so everything goes still and gives baby room to move more freely and do somersaults!
I was astonished, yet so, so happy. I told Hubbie and baby girl repeatedly at home. I even waited for baby to reappear with kung fu action, but alas it seems baby was asleep for the day. 😂
So, next time. But, it was still a beautiful day. To feel. To see. 🌞🥰
carcrashgratitude 