#897 This too shall pass

This Winter is dragging on. I thought a saw some relief days ago, but just as quickly it has vanished.

The days are long, dark, cold and windy. The heater is our only respite.

My child chooses to argue with me relentlessly, and I respond over-emotionally – I don’t know if it is the after-affects of the lunar eclipse that is wrecking havoc in our worlds, but times are trying.

I try to look up, but when I am reminded of repeated failure, I feel like that is ALL I know. How do you feel good when what you experience is anything but?

The slimmest of lights has me wondering. It has me with little Hopes.

My sister once owned a clock that read

“The best times and worst times have one thing in common… they never last forever.”

It’s one of those sayings that have left a forever imprint on me.

Because it’s a sentiment that lifts you up amidst times of hardship, reminding you that something good is around the corner… and it keeps you humble when you are as high as a kite, riding on the coat-tails of life and feeling the love and adoration of the world at your feet.

What goes down, must come up… and vice versa.

And just this afternoon, I noticed that it was lighter outside when baby girl finished with her usual Monday afternoon swimming lesson.

We leave at the same time each week, but today it was lighter.
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Well, maybe things are turning around the corner after all.

The darkness is leaving, and making room for the Light.

#870 Winter Sunset

Do you know there are people who think it is pointless to move to the seaside, unless you are a surfer?

Do you know that this very sentiment has been expressed to us, since our move?

“Do you swim everyday?”

The haughtiness drips.

My personal response?:

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You don’t need to swim everyday when you have a view like that.

There are many ways to enjoy living by the sea. Yes, one of them is to swim in it. Other things can be the calming effect of just looking at the water; walking by the water; and taking your daughter to the park where the water looms at you from below.

There’s a meditative aspect. It is soothing. It is spiritual. The beachside locale usually means a community feel is present, a real authentic and meaningful connection in all that you do, and the places that you go.

And of course, there are the water views such as the above. Living by the water you can be assured that there will be some kind of spectacular sunrise/sunset visible in the horizon, and fortunately for me, on this side of Port Phillip Bay, it is the latter. I am not a morning person.

In the warmer months we swim in it, and in the colder months we appreciate it.

That is called BALANCE.

And it is striking to me that at this, the coldest time of the year, the sunsets have been beautifully drawn and more amazing than what I would have imagined them to be at Winter time.

And that my friends, is called WONDER.

#859 The day after the Winter Solstice

It’s a time of year that is cold.

It is dark.

Nature goes quiet. The Earth lies, unmoved. Seeds lay dormant.

Or do they?

At this time of the year, reflection and intuition are key.

Looking inwards, trusting your inner voice, and meditating on life is necessary.

And so on the day after the Winter Solstice, there are already signs of rebirth and renewal in the air. Greenery abounds.

I find it promising and beautiful that so much beauty and wonder is evident in our garden all around us. A stem from our orchid plant snapped off when heavy rain poured down on it, but it can still grow and bloom in our home, making everything around it look that much brighter.

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And the sunset of orange, purple and blue, tells us that there are Hopeful things yet to come.

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Expressing gratitude today, for all of this, and for the coming Light.

 

 

#857 Running late to the skies

My alarm goes off at 5am. I sleepily turn it off, in an effort to not wake up Hubbie any more than I need to, because he, unlike me, can sleep in.

I tell myself I will get up. I will get up. Just a few more minutes. It is sooo cold. I’m warm now, but when I get up, the icy air will hit me hard. Just a few more minutes…

I look at the clock. It is now 5:27am.

“F^&k!” I whisper, throwing the covers off me.

If it was just the 15 or so minutes later I’ll be, that’s fine, I think. I will at worst be at work 5 minutes late. No biggie.

But then, something happens.

THE MONASH FREEWAY happens.

There are two incidents, both near the start and end of my Monash journey, so that I end up anticipating a good 30 minute late start to work.

It’ll be ok, and I won’t get in trouble… I just hate it.

Even so, when I park my car before the 10 minute walk over to the building, I spot something. I have to take out my phone, and SNAP!

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Being late was worth it, for that sky.

Soon, it is the end of the day. I jump into my car eagerly. I want to go to a nearby shop on our side of town that closes at 5:30pm. If I get home by 4:30, we have about an hour.

But then, something happens… again.

Yep, you guessed it… the freaking Monash freeway.

Multiple incidents and who knows what else forecast my trip as taking an extra half an hour to get home, so I take an alternative route, that gives me all manner of stress and hell, but I manage to make it home, a bit later than thought, but still, we all run out to the shop.

We come back home after 5:30. I am tired. I have been out of the house ALL day. I am cold. I am hungry. I just want a moment to myself. Baby girl won’t stop talking to me, Hubbie is in a good mood and just can’t stop repeating himself, and all I really need is to sit down and have a few minutes of peace.

But then, I see this:

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And I SNAP!

And once again, being late is worth it, for that sky 🙂

 

#843 Beneath blue skies…

Blue skies peeking from beneath the leaves of trees:

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The pristine expanse of water, stretching out around boats and travelling up the horizon of skyscrapers, for as far as the eye can see:

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And then a bridge in lights – the glow representative of the stunning day that was, or IS.

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Noble, worthy, and wonderful things to focus on and remember about today, especially as only hours after that last photo, I went home early from work because there was a golf ball stuck in my throat.

I’m not well. 😦

I am reminded of my Mum’s words. Whenever I have expressed to her deep frustration or complaints about life, she has responded with this:

“You have to grow thick skin, and be hard, like a rock. So hard, so nothing can get you.”

This soft girl needs some thick skin then. I need it so that the ball in my throat pales in comparison, and I need it so I can focus on those blue skies with more appreciation…

 

#840 Soulful Sunday’s no. 1

And so begins a new gratitude thread, one dedicated to doing things that feed your soul and settle your mind and body, on what is the sacred day between the busy-ness, drinks and catch-up with friends that is Saturday, and the return to routine and day-to-day school/work/life cycle that is Monday.

Sunday. Soulful. It can really involve anything, with the determining factor of success being that after doing it, you feel good. The sky is the limit when it comes to doing whatever it is you please, as we are all made happy by so many different things… some so extravagant…

Some SO simple. Like my day, today.

It was just a quiet, really quiet day. I caught up on stuff around the house, because God knows I neglect it and the things I need to do more than I care to admit; I sat on the couch at one point with Hubbie watching the footy, my head on his shoulders; and I got a lot of special hugs from baby girl, rapt herself that we had simply spent the whole day together as a family.

Looking out the window at Sunsets being submerged by impending dark clouds was a point of interest too:

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So there is my quiet, simple, and soulful Sunday. Because I feel replenished after it all, I know, it was a success 🙂

 

#807 A day of handling Anxiety

Many separate and non-uniform events coincided today in an effort to reduce the stress and pressure on my mind.

Did they try, or in my mind, did I seek them out in an effort to distract myself?

The distraction is for removing myself and my troublesome thoughts from something I do not want to do… yet I have to.

All these distractions, were also instances of momentary gratitude, where I tried so hard to see the bigger picture.

This quote.

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It set me up for the day, and reminded me that without troubles and fear, I was not going to grow. I know this, and yet the fear remains, hanging in the shadows.

A rose, cut from the garden.

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A fresh batch, sprung up again. This rose tree continues to amaze me with its constant renewal and rebirth. I prune and cut for my own personal satisfaction, and still they spring up, fragrant and pretty and pink. They do not fade, they do not tire. They keep on, going on, despite the scissors that come to them, often.

The park visit.

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Have you ever done a U-turn on the spur of the moment, and changed the afternoon’s plans? Baby girl was begging for the park, and I went “what the hell.” I needed the fresh air. And the laughter. And the frivolity. And the trees. There’s nothing like being surrounded by children screaming at the park, to remind you of the humble and naïve beginnings they, and we all started from. It’s important to remind ourselves of that fact, from time to time.

And finally, the sunset.

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Pink, and blue. A colourful display as always, Autumn. Watching the colours fade into the horizon, and be overshadowed by night, to know that tomorrow light will appear again and the world will go on, happy and sad, good or bad…

Whether you show up or not.

All of these images present a metaphor for me and the things plaguing my mind, and all I know for sure is that combined, they speak of one thing, the thing I hold dearest to me:

Hope.

Hope can beat fear, Hope can push us forwards, and Hope can put my mind into a safer place than it is, with Anxiety.

I can’t wait ’til tomorrow is over.