#2487 End of work/school/Friday

Come 4pm and baby girl and I being at home, FINALLY, and I was relieved.

It had been a trying day. The wind whipped us, literally, as I dropped her off, rain assaulted us on an angle, and I’m surprised that our umbrellas didn’t break as I walked her to her classroom this morning.

Then work was busy, and on top of that, I had a surprise training session that went for… hours. πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ

(Training sessions on a Friday should not be allowed.)

Another quick run to the shops before pick-up, Winter weather to be battled yet again, and once we closed the front door on our jobs and the day, man was I happy!

I hate to wish days away, or be glad they are over… but today had a real cranky, shitty vibe.

I’m hoping we’ve gotten it out of the way so that the weekend is UBER-awesome. πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ™πŸ™

#2471 Surprise sighting

Another Wednesday, another brunch, and another hospital appointment. πŸ˜πŸ™

It was a basic check-up that involved a few questions, a blood pressure check, and then a lie down to hear baby’s heartbeat. But she had the wand thingy hooked up to a screen, so not only could I hear baby’s heartbeat, I could see baby too!

It was a pleasant surprise. πŸ₯° I know there is a baby inside of me from the incredibly insistent moving, shuffling, kicking, swooshing going on at all hours of the day (even now, seriously!) yet still, every time I am hooked up to a screen, I hold my breath a little bit, waiting to see baby appear.

And baby does appear. And I am so happy and overjoyed about it all. πŸ’–πŸ€°πŸ’“πŸ™

#2449 Baby parcel

Hubbie messaged me early this morning, alerting me that something we had ordered for the car was arriving today.

He was excited.

So some time after it had arrived, when baby told me there was a parcel at the door, I had to ask her twice.

Sure enough, there was.

Gone are the days of covid and lockdown where we were going trigger-parcel-happy, and I was losing track of what I had ordered, what had arrived, and what was still to come.

Sure Hubbie’s car part was here… what was this package?

And it was addressed to me.

It occurred to me then… ahh yes. That belly cream. It’s arrived. That’s it.

But when I looked at the sender’s address and saw where it came from, my confusion only grew again!

What had I ordered from a popular baby clothes brand? Hold on, I hadn’t, which meant…

Now, I was excited. 😁

Work, schmork. Baby girl and I eagerly opened the parcel, and I was beaming from start to end.

It was a beautiful parcel sent to me by one of my besties. OMG.

Baby clothes to get me through the first few months. All neutral of course, but so gorgeous and cuddly and warm, OMG! I was so excited and grateful, sending her an ecstatic thank you, and then just beaming at them all, so, so happy.

Surprise parcels are the best. I feel blessed. πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ™πŸ™

#2415 The big reveal

Exactly 10 weeks ago, something huge happened.

It was momentous. Unbelievable. It felt like a miracle.

It was a miracle.

An online dictionary states the meaning of miracle as: “an extraordinary and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore attributed to a divine agency.”

Well, maybe some parts were explicable, but if you knew the whole story, you yourself would call it a kind of miracle.

A kind of magic, as my friend Freddie Mercury says.

On this miraculous day forwards, I started to let people know in a series of codes that something was up with me, in my life, but by not actually telling them that something was up. πŸ€”

On the day in question, I called both my Mum and my sister. I wanted to talk to them, to hear their voice, for them to hear my voice. I had planned this, I had planned this all again… if I couldn’t see them on this momentous day, then I would at least talk to them over the phone, and tell them in my own hidden code way, speaking happily and easily, that things had finally turned.

Then I turned on my friends. I deliberately started picking words for my wordle night centred around a certain ‘theme.’ This was also a pre-planned event, something I had thought about for months before it actually happened. This went on for 9 weeks, and only in the last few days have they all found out the news, and my little wordle plan, tee hee hee.

I will now reveal that I also told you. ALL OF YOU. Exactly 10 weeks ago on this day, I started to say something.

Let me take you back there.

I penned a post, titled “Time for a poem.” Now this post wasn’t just marked under my “Gratitude” category, like every other post, it was also marked as “Special Edition” for a reason.

I have dabbled in poetry in the past, that is true. However this was a poem, a plan I had for a long time before this beautiful day came along. I always knew I was going to tell you, you, and you in code, and so I sat down, my mind reeling, my life changed for the better, hesitant and unsure and excited and cautious and scared and every emotion, but also HOPEFUL.

So freaking darn hopeful as I always have been.

And I wrote.

You need to look closely at the poem… I will screenshot it for you now.

If you take the first letter of each sentence (not line, sentence), you will see it spells something…


I might just be…

And on the following night, I finished my current poetry slam as I called it. Here are the screenshots again:



And I was.

I had done the home test the first night, and by the second day where I did my part 2 poetry slam, it had been confirmed via blood test. I was pregnant.

Words and emotions cannot even begin to describe how I felt. I’d been so cautious and nervous and tentative in those early days and weeks, and I think because of this my emotions now spill over, crying from happiness easily, at the drop of a bib, a baby mention, a thought about the beautiful future… all my happiness and love and gratitude is now spilling over.

When I began my gratitude journey all those years ago, I had no idea then that one of my biggest tests was to be this one: falling pregnant. I had no idea what lay in store, and perhaps it’s better I didn’t. I’ve gone down paths I never thought I would, seen people I’d never imagined, felt the depth of human emotion, and wished and hoped and prayed like I never had before.

After that day I kept dropping hints to you all, though these were teeny-tiny! Here are some of them:

In #2363 I wrote about looking forwards and how things were dragging. They were. I was desperate to get to at least 8 weeks (my self-determined first safe spot) and I also wrote about being tired, which I was then… very, very tired. Early pregnancy symptoms.

In #2364 I wrote of symmetry. The entire post is relevant, but my final line I love most: “As if there was ever any doubt.”

In #2365 I was overcome with fatigue and had to lie down. I never lie down during the day unless I am sick… or pregnant. πŸ˜‰

In #2366 that ‘miracle’ word pops up when I talk about mother nature and sunsets. The metaphor is there.

In #2367 I was at my parents and enjoyed some home-made Sarma, known to non-Balkans as meat stuffed cabbage rolls, and oh my God me and baby loved it. I am loving salty foods from way back then, and the Sarma was just so agreeable to me! OMG!

In #2371 I was counting down, not just to the end of winter, but to telling my family and friends, and to getting to the end of the first trimester. A clue appears at the end of this post: “baby steps.” 😁

In #2375 I saw a heap of rainbows that day. They are a definite sign for me, and seeing the amount of them that I have since finding out I’m pregnant, has confirmed for me how true that is.

In #2378 I wrote “Her surprises.” The presents I spoke of that we bought for baby girl, were actually big sister items, and we told her that night that she was going to be a big sister.

She’s been loving and kissing my belly since, and I already know how lucky this baby will be to have her. πŸ’–πŸ’–

In #2380 we saw 4 rainbows…. 4! More beautiful signs that things were progressing nicely. “That HAS to mean that better times are ahead.”

In #2388 I wrote of nicer things that were to come. My last line “At least things are still shining.”

In #2389 I wrote of my love for the Madonna song ‘Rain.’ There’s this quote, well there are many quotes that have actually saved me during this journey, but one that I am able to truly feel now is the quote

“Go laugh in the places you’ve cried. Change the narrative.”

I’ve cried through so many songs, and this song of release, with the metaphor of rain and storms, hit me in a different way.

“The last time I had listened to it I was different. The last time I had written about it I was different. Today, again different. I thought about life, the unexpected beautiful and difficult things that hit us in the face, throwing us off balance, I guess, a bit like unexpected rain.”

‘Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass… it’s about learning to dance in the rain.’


In #2396 I wrote about watching the Elvis movie with two of my friends. I mentioned needing super-comfy pants, and I couldn’t have felt this more. After a filling dinner, and being 11 weeks pregnant, I needed my trakkies so bad, but obviously still was wearing and able to fit into my jeans (barely), so in the dark of the cinema actually unzipped my jeans and popped my button so I could breathe and not be in pain for 2 and a half hours! I don’t think my friends saw a thing. πŸ˜¬πŸ˜†

In #2397 I wrote about “Family abundance.” This is the night we told my parents and sister’s fam that we were expecting. Happy screams, shock and wonder filled the air!

In #2398 I wrote “We are so close!” It was the last day of July, and I was excited about August and ALL that it would bring.

Spring begins to spring forth.

I for one, amΒ soooΒ ready for this next stage.


In #2399 I spoke of my love for August.

“Everything in abundance. Happy times, happiness, everything growing in happiness.”Β (Including my belly!)

In #2400 I said “Just because.” An important blood test came back good, and I was crying from happiness, just sobbing. All the tension and unknowningness and uncertainty that had been plaguing me just went away. I was so unbelievably light and happy.

“I had aΒ reallyΒ good day. I feel like things are starting to fall into place, for me, for my family, and just living in and appreciating, relishing this every moment, makes me so happy, makes my heart full.”

In #2402 I talked about the cakes that I ordered for mine and baby girl’s birthdays… only thing is, mine was a baby reveal cake! We were going to announce our pregnancy during cake time for our birthday.

“My cake is the one I’m a little more excited about.”

How true that was! πŸ˜†πŸ˜

In #2405 I wrote “Better here than there.” Better to be busy and running around for something great, than to be like we were the last two years, sad and in lockdown.

“This year isΒ soooΒ different, and despite the busy-ness and the craziness of it, I am so grateful for it also.”

Well, now you know why it’s so different, and it’s not just because lockdowns are over!

In #2406 I said decorations were off my to-do list, and said “We got some really special, nice ones.”

Along with the baby reveal cake, we got balloons that said ‘Oh baby,’ ‘Baby’ and one that had a young girl and read ‘I’m going to be a big sister.’


#2411 was our HUGE day. Our close family and friends finally found out. And at the end of my post, after writing about hope, not losing it, and hanging on, I said it “was a big, and very special day.”

The day after in #2412 we told more people via phone who hadn’t been able to be there, dear family and friends. Therefore, “Spreading good news.” πŸ’–πŸ’–

And that leads us to here! This moment, this reveal, this announcement. πŸ₯°πŸ₯°

I am beyond happy. I also have a lot to share, and I’m still working out how to say it. Whether I say it via this blogging forum, or whether I write about it in another format, be sure that this is a subject I’ve learnt a lot about, having first-hand experience of all the trials and tribulations, and therefore have a lot of very strong opinions as well as hard facts from my own life.

I will end on this. You never know what is going on in someone’s life. Don’t be nosy. Don’t be rude.

Be kind. Be a friend. Be there for them. That is the best thing you can possibly do. If you do that and they need you, trust me, they will reach out.

I have of tonne of thank yous to make. Many of you reading this will get them in the coming months.

But first of all, for joining me on this incredibly hard but very rewarding journey… a big thank you.

We’ve only just begun. πŸ™πŸ’–πŸ€°πŸ€°

#2411 Our huge day

Yesterday wasn’t just a big day, it was huge.

So huge that even after planning what I would write about I totally forgot and went to sleep. πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈπŸ€£

(But I still haven’t technically gotten up out of bed yet so it counts as part of yesterday πŸ€·β€β™€οΈπŸ˜…)

It was baby girl’s birthday party, sure, even my birthday party, and it was odd how at polar opposites of the day I was crying.

I shouldn’t even say it’s odd, life is like that. I shouldn’t be surprised anymore. I was crying on the way to pick up the cakes in the morning over how many people had cancelled on us, but then in the evening…

In the evening I was crying completely happy, relieved and grateful tears.

I’m not sharing all, just yet… that time will come. Very soon. πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

But I leave you with this photo. A unicorn and a puppy dog. Rainbows. Magic. Wonder and Happiness and Excitement.

Dreams can, and DO come true. I want you all to know that. I want you all to know from the bottom of my heart, to keep holding on, to keep digging in, being strong, fighting for what it is you’re after, even when it’s hard, even when you’re crying.

Don’t lose Hope. I know all about this. Hope can feel like a bastard, telling you you can do it when all you feel are dark clouds and gloomy skies.

But Hope knows more than you do. Listen to it. You have that Hope inside you for a reason. πŸ™β€πŸŒˆπŸ₯°

Yesterday was a big, and very special day. πŸ₯°πŸ₯°

#2406 Decorations off the list

Every day this week I’m going to use my gratitude journal as a kind of to-do list, listing my successful birthday party preparation achievements for that day.

I was working, so after work we went and got some decorations. πŸ₯³πŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽˆ

We got some really special, nice ones. 😁😁😁😁 Bright and happy and perfect for the day.

No I am not revealing anything, all will be revealed on the day! πŸ€£πŸ’–

#2378 Her surprises

During the holidays we organised some surprises to arrive for baby girl, to brighten up this cold, dark Winter.

As per the norm nowadays, they didn’t arrive during the holidays, they arrived on the first day back at school… today.

It didn’t matter. We gave them to her tonight, and she was surprised, shocked, then overjoyed with some books, some clothes, and some artwork.

On a cold Monday night in July, we made the evening special. For us all. πŸ₯°πŸ₯°

#2327 Grateful for it all

I look back on the day just gone, and I gotta say, there is a lot that made me smile.

A lot to be grateful for.

While eating brekkie this morning, baby girl started pointing to her mouth before running to the bathroom. Another tooth had come out! She was so excited, jumping up and down, absolutely rapt that after a long break the tooth fairy was FINALLY going to come to our house tonight! She took a selfie of the missing tooth in her mouth and sent it to Hubbie via my phone, and then kept jumping up and down, so happy with herself.

I am so grateful to have a daughter as strong and courageous as her, able to pull out the tooth that was hanging by a thread, and not be fazed by the blood left behind!

Spoiler alert: the tooth fairy has already come and gone. πŸ˜‰

Today was a big cleaning day for me. Which may seem a bit of a weird thing to be happy about, but doing something in my own time, after a sleep-in, with no rush, is actually beautiful. Saturdays we put on records throughout the day, so the player was pumping, I was cleaning, pruning, weeding, washing, and the sun was shining.

I am grateful to have a house to tend to and make pretty.

We decided to cook and stay in tonight, and it ended up being a ‘choose-your-own-dinner’ kinda night. Baby girl had fresh pasta with leftover bolognaise, Hubbie fried up sausages with other leftovers, and I made this hoisin beef noodles that I’ve made before, but have been wanting to make again.

It meant quite a few dishes, but I didn’t care. Again, no routine, no rush. We all ate what we wanted.

I am grateful we can choose to eat what we like, and nourish our bodies with whatever it is that makes us happy.

Hubbie gave me a beautiful surprise tonight. It was totally unexpected, for no reason at all, and I love him so much for it.

I am so grateful to have a loving Hubbie, someone who cares and puts effort into making me happy.

There are other small and beautiful moments from throughout the day, and I guess it makes it a really well-rounded, happy day. I am so grateful for so much positivity in one day. I question, is it the day, the unfolding of events making it so, or is it me?

I think it is both. I will try to make tomorrow even better. πŸ™πŸ’–

Photo by Hassan OUAJBIR on Pexels.com

#2250 Ignoring the to-do trap

Baby girl wanted to surprise me with something.

She wanted to watch a movie with our afternoon coffee/babycino break… and so she put on Mary Poppins.

I settled in with her. We shared chocolate scotch finger biscuits, drank our respective warm drinks, and I fell into the movie quite easily, considering it was one I had watched repeatedly as a child… and still continue to watch and enjoy in a WHOLE other way now.

But as happens now, as an adult, as a parent…

My mind started wandering.

Far out. I thought I had all this time today. I don’t think I’ll get much done now.

How come each Saturday I think I’ll do heaps, and then I do like, the bare minimum?

Where does the time go?

How do people manage this?

And then, to the background of “chim chiminee”s I stopped judging myself, and started observing.

Well actually… baby girl had swimming this morning.

You had to do a grocery run, and fill up the car with petrol too.

Then you decided (YOU DECIDED) to make baby girl scrambled eggs because you wanted to give her a warm meal because she was sniffly.

Then you decided you too wanted a warm meal, so you whipped up your rice.

Then later, you cleaned up. Simple house chores persisted. Tidying, putting things away.

Baby girl wanted to play chasey. And you obliged. You girls ran and ran and ran and ran circuits around the house ’til you could run no more, and then you tickled each other!

And then ran some more!

And then…

Coffee time.

My structured to-do list was thrown out the window, as it seems to happen on most Saturdays.

But I realised I had tended to a much more important one.

It was my nurturing, fun and bonding to-do list that I had successfully gone through.

I nurtured our family with healthy home made meals. βœ…

I played games and had fun with baby girl ’til we were exhausted and laughing ourselves silly. βœ…

I sat and watched a movie with her, in our Mummy-daughter bonding time. βœ…

Tick, tick, tick.

Oftentimes, the old-fashioned ‘routine’ list has gotta go on pause.

More important things are waiting to be accomplished.

#2150 Double surprises

So I wrote about surprise pancakes not too long ago…

Today, it was doubled.

Not the pancakes! The surprises! LOLOLOLOL.

After my mum made us some pancakes while visiting my parents place (this is becoming a dangerous tradition 😬🀣πŸ₯ž) my sister took baby girl to her pool!

Oh what fun! I had just as much fun watching them and laughing at their races up and down the width of the pool as they did splashing about…

Who am I kidding? They had a ball. πŸ’–πŸ’–

Loving summertime holiday freedom.