#1261 Letting it all out

When was the last time you cried?

Let it ALL out?

I don’t mean a pathetic weeping. I am talking a full-fledged, soul-shaking, whole body performance that tremors with the waves of emotions like sea water crashing across the shore.

It’s obviously best done with someone you trust. Someone you love.

Even better perhaps, when you are on the phone.

You can ugly cry all you want. Screw up your eyes and let your snots hang dangerously low, let the teardrops make splatters on your pants, stain your top.

And although the beginning of such a sob session may start off as solemn, downcast, and awfully depressing… something wonderful does come out of it.

Nothing may have changed. Nothing major anyway. Buy you not only gain a different perspective from hearing someone else repeat your words, but you feel somewhat lighter too.

The load has been dispersed. Instead of one huge boulder on your back, the expression of your deepest sadness may have allowed some of that boulder to chip away, and leave instead, large stones.

And the more that you walk along, and on with life, the more likely it is that some of those large stones may slowly start to roll off…

And so on.

Nothing changes overnight… But it is the knowledge of someone lending an ear, while you also let loose, allowing the internal waterfall to pour out, that actually makes all the difference.

#1250 The different ways to appreciate my friends

A recurrent theme for me in this gratitude blog is in finding different ways and discovering various angles in which to appreciate the same thing, place, event, food… or people.

And in life, it is common that you find yourself repeatedly thankful for the same thing, many times.

Consider it something truly special, if you find it. It’s not repetitive or mundane.

It’s magic. Blissful. Electric. Beautiful.

To find yourself anew with wonder, happiness and a heart full of love, at the same thing again and again… it’s a blessing.

And so again tonight. Dinner out with friends. Maybe not the number of us that there were meant to be, so hearts were missing… but the hearts there were full of love regardless. ❤️

And how do I pinpoint, and make notice of the different ways in which the night made me smile, filled my soul with joy, and truly made me appreciative of the night?

Well, straight off, Thursday night out. It’s practically still mid-week, and us mums were rocking it, school routines and all waiting for us the next day.

Stuff it.

Nothing says ‘stuff it’ better than a mid-week cocktail.

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Stuff it.

And then there were the moments. The constant talking, how silence DIDN’T fill the air…

The coriander.

My name in their drinks.

The spiciness.

How nothing else was open after we ate, and yet we idled about walking from one place to the next, biding time, while we talked to our hearts content.

Or how we stood talking for half a length of a movie outside the cinemas… just chatting, laughing and sharing stories.

Or how we talked a further 20 minutes in the middle of a vacated shopping centre as we said our goodbyes.

And then said some more…

And so you see, it’s all these things that made this night with old friends so unique. And actually, it isn’t at all common, no matter how many times we catch up, where we eat, who is there, or what we do.

It’s in the memories shared with those you love, and that is always special.

Look after your friends. Good ones are hard to find.

 

 

#1164 Sisters hit Sassafras

Today was well overdue.

ALL the best days are.

Best outings. Best catch-ups. Best times with the best people.

Sis and I caught-up and headed into the Dandenong Ranges for coffee, food, and then more food…

But more important than anything we consumed, was the talking. The open-heartedness. The breaking down of walls. The happiness in sharing your thoughts with someone, speaking openly and honestly and knowing there is no judgment, only love and hope for better things.

We hide things too often. We keep our woes close to our chests and in turn they burden our bodies. We carry these physical and mental stones, struggling in an uphill battle that sees us growing weaker and weaker, the further we climb with these massive boulders…

And then we fall, rolling spectacularly down the hill.

But then, there will be a hand. A hand outstretched to lift you up, help you out, and see to it that you will be on your way again.

With no stones. Just a hand to hold.

The hand I held today was my sister’s. ♥

#624 Motherly Moments no. 4

I am chatting to Hubbie on the couch.

Correction. I am trying to chat to Hubbie on the couch.

Baby girl is all over me. Holding my face, trying to get me to look at her and only her. “Mama, mama, mama,” she repeats, hogging my line of vision, while I try to look past her and continue on with our conversation.

“One second baby girl.”

“Mama, mama, mama,” she continues.

We somewhat manage to end the topic. I look at her, actively focusing in. “What?”

“Mama, I love you too much.”

Awwwww.

“Princess, I love you too much.”

“I love you MORE.”

Why does she always win at this game?!?!?!

I smile and hug her tightly. “Actually sweetheart, I think I love YOU more.”

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Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

#595 Post-party in-car D&M

They are becoming more and more frequent, and I LOVE them.

I don’t even know why they weren’t so frequent before… we’re always driving some kind of distance to get to some event/birthday/wedding/party. And yet, maybe because we are now so much more further away from a lot of our family and friends, our time in the car has now been extended…

…Making these moments happen more often. Happily so.

Because it will be the end of a long day or night. Either way baby girl will be sleeping, spent from the day’s playing/activities/charades. And then Hubbie and I will begin to talk.

About everything. Starting with a party debrief. ‘Who said what, why that happened, did you hear about that place?’ Not in a gossip-y way, not at all. It’s more a happy sharing in information, where we laugh, we delve into all kinds of topics and issues, and we reminisce on the day that was, counting our blessings for having the circle that we do, and counting our blessings for each other.

Inevitably, just like today too, after going to a birthday party and then driving home in the late afternoon, we would have had a glass or 5 to drink. Well not me, I’m the driver. But we are in happy, fine form, and start counting the ways in which we are grateful for each other.

We bond. We talk about goals and dreams. We look to the skies, whether they are bright with sunlight, or midnight black, and try to work out what we will do with our lives, how we will achieve it, and what can we do to get to it, together.

And I think I know why I love these conversations so much. Yes we are setting positive goals. Yes we are reconnecting. Yes we are expressing gratitude for those around us, but for each other most importantly.

They are so dear to me, because simply, we are just talking. We have a long space of time, where we can just spill our guts and express our deepest heart’s desires, and just go for it.

It is beautiful, and all of the above things make it more so.

#509 Friday night d&m and surprises with Hubbie

Most Fridays we have the MIL with us, which makes for light-hearted, event and people based chit-chat.

“How are these people going?”

“How was work?”

“What are the weekend plans?”

“What will you do on Sunday?”

“Did you hear about that?”

and so on.

Tonight however, it was just US – baby girl, hubbie and I. And quite surprisingly and happily, we started to get into it.

He dropped some surprising statements, which had me slightly reeling – just from the sheer unpredictability of it ever being said.

“What? Are you serious? Seriously, I feel like I don’t know you.”

All good, and nothing bad. Just different, and eye-opening. We got into some d&m, and you know the convo has gone deep and fulfilling, when the dinner sit-down has long passed the eaten food that has come and gone before it.

“Well if I do this, with your talent here, and my knowledge there, we could both – “

Now I was reeling, again. I know this is a whole lot of blah blah blah to the rest of the world, but after our talk I had the most profound sense of I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO EXPECT FROM LIFE.

We always talk about living life to the full, and cramming as much experience and fun and passion into what we have been given here on earth, yet still, for a man that I know so, so well, he had me absolutely stunned and baffled.

And as I dwelled on it, I realised I loved it.

I’m not a person to stay stagnant, and remain in the same role or field for the rest of my life. And seeing that he is the same, and just like me is open to new and exciting experiences, if only to explore and see where the open doors lead him, well that is equally exciting to watch and be a part of.

I love that we are passionate, we know what we love, but also, we love to keep things exciting, fresh, and moving on.

To be inspired by the man in your life, and find even greater motivation to love him, well…

that is something I am eternally grateful for.

And all from a Friday night convo. All good things come from Fridays…

 

#491 Hubbie’s early homecoming

It’s harder to hitch a ride on the gratitude bandwagon when the days are cold and dreary, and hibernation becomes your key activity. Which is why it’s so important to look closely around you, and appreciate all the little words, events, and actions, surprises and glimpses of happiness that find their way to you.

As such, today. It’s not like Hubbie never comes home early from work. There have been times here and there where he’s been let off a little earlier than usual – because, Winter. Slow days, and when the job is done, well often there is no point sticking around, 3 men to do the job of 1 for the last hour.

So today, as Hubbie approached the front door a fair bit earlier than his usual hometime, and I waved happily at him while baby girl took her position of ‘immediate hide and seek’ game under the table, I was immediately appreciative of his early release from the work quarters.

Hubbie is home earlier, which means we have dinner earlier. We get to sit on the couch for a bit afterwards and just talk to each other, about deep issues and light-hearted things, anything random and significant that pops to mind. We don’t usually get to talk like this when we are working, so it’s a bonus.

It also means I might get 5 or so minutes to put my feet up and browse through my Donna Hay cookbook, getting ideas and inspiration in the midst of these quiet and low-key months ahead.

Or, I can also watch through the window at Hubbie complying to baby girl’s request, and see them jumping wildly in the trampoline against the fading evening light.

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Whatever my reasons are to be grateful to have Hubbie home earlier from work, whether they be small or big reasons, they are ALL worth it… and yet the biggest reason to be grateful, is the simplest one… just to have him home, with us. Just for a little bit more. That’s enough.