#1563 Day 65 of getting there: the gourmet chocolate

If you read my other post you will know I had A SHIT DAY.

But we’ll try keep that drama away from this page, being all appreciation-central and all.

Trying to keep my chin up this afternoon after my work shift, I did that thing we try not to do, when we’re being all sensible and wanting to use things up in order as we open them…

I opened up a gourmet chocolate block… but we already had chocolate open.

I had to. Like I said already, SHIT day, and there was this chocolate block I had been eyeing for a couple of weeks in the pantry.

I opened it… and it was delicious.

If you see this in your local supermarket, do yourself a favour and get one! It had a dark chocolate tinge to it, and with its luxuriantly silky chocolatey-ness, and the flakes of coconut, I had to have 3 squares.

It was that kind of day.

But, the squares are super thin, and those 3 squares probably equate to like, 1 and a half Cadbury squares, so really I should have had 4…

Next time.

Then, to work off my anger add to my happiness, baby girl and I ran around the block, and I took photos of the only rose in our front yard… the sunset… shit like that, to lift my mood.

That sole rose. I get it. I totally get it.

#1366 Moving on when shit gets hard

Ohhhhh.

It’s been one of those days.

I have been to the vet more in these past 6 weeks for our cat Mister F, then I ever have been for the 11 and a half years I had my childhood cat.

We’ve had Mister F for only 7 months now.

Lately, it feels like shit just keeps getting thrown my way.

Smile. Nod. No, things are getting better…

Shit.

Breathe in. Deep sigh. Step forward…

Shit storm.

Hold my head high. Shake the shit off…

MORE shit.

So there comes a time when you just go ‘enough is enough.’

I am going to whinge, and I am going to be cranky.

I am ALLOWED to be.

It’s been one of those days.

But then again, I laugh to myself (sarcastically of course)…

It feels like it’s been one of those weeks.

Months.

Shock horror… years even.

NOT JOKING.

Despite my hissy fits and bitch-fests about life today, I actually realised something.

I wasn’t throwing in the towel… because doing so would be so easy, right?

You stop trying. You stop hoping. You stop trying to make things better for yourself.

You just give up and… WAIL.

But I wasn’t there today. And I think despite all the crap flung my way, I felt a bit like “huh… okay.”

I wasn’t trying to pep myself out of it. I wasn’t trying to deny myself the negative feelings either. That would have been a disservice to myself, and been a bad move in the long run.

Withheld feelings are never a good thing.

But I just dealt with it. I am still, dealing with it. I think what I have come to realise is that this gratitude game takes a lot of work… even for a glass half-full gal like myself.

You can’t control everything. You can’t control life.

But you can control yourself. And sure I was no Mary Poppins today…

But also, that wouldn’t have helped me.

I guess what I am trying to say, is I am happy with my healthy reaction.

Pissed off. Cranky pants. Shit happens.

Shit happens again. And again. And again.

And so bloody what? 

Let’s move on now.

YES. Let’s move on… NOW.

 

#743 2 years and 2 days

I totally missed the celebration boat. Because, you know, LIFE. I actually thought the day was today, or tomorrow, but alas, I wrote “#1” 2 years and 2 days ago.

That is because on February 24th 2016, I wrote my first ever gratitude post.

YAY! For 2 years I’ve been doing this gratitude game. A game where I as recipient, always win. Because if you can find something to be grateful for, no matter how small or insignificant you may think it to be, as long as it does something for you and lifts you up, that is all that matters.

It need not matter if your neighbour doesn’t appreciate it. Your work colleague. The green grocer, taxi driver, hell even your kids or partner don’t have to agree – if there is something in your life you are happy for, pay attention to that, and then watch it GROW.

I’ve been constantly amazed at the amount of material I still manage to find to write about and be grateful for. Sure, I have a decent portion of posts with infinite ‘parts’… like my shopping posts, my dancing in the kitchen posts, even ones about coffee…

It was always a question, and a challenge for me to see if I could write every day about something novel that I was consequently grateful for. I have managed to do that for all of these days, despite also having hard days, trying days, boring days, uninspiring days, sad days, and depressing days. Despite all of life’s crap, I have tried as my own personal challenge, to find something.

I sometimes wonder if I should stop here and now – ‘thank you very much’ – and give this whole gratitude game a rest. Not for lack of gratitude or tiring of writing. I have done this for 2 years now and I know I can find gratitude, I know I can find something different to write about every day.

For now, I am happy to stay in this gratitude game and keep practicing it via this online forum. I am enjoying this process, and I think, as is the nature of Life, I still have a lot to learn.

And, if I ever do decide to finish up on this blog (insert shameless self-promotional plug here) there will still always be my parent blog smikg.com – where I talk everything and anything Life, gratitude or not-inspired (things that shit me, anyone?)

Ta for sticking around folks, and let’s see how far we can get.

Further more, why don’t you see how far YOU can get?

ūüôā

pineapple-supply-co-285389-unsplash

Photo by Pineapple Supply Co. on Unsplash

 

#148 Convenient doughnut proximity

I don’t need to tell you all the details of my difficulties from today. That will surely come to you very soon in my ‘Things That Shit Me’ series, over on SmikG…

No. But what you do need to know is that I had enough just prior to 3pm. As in, ‘that’s it, I’m outta here, put me on a rocket and send me into the galaxy’ type enough. After packing a tired and cranky baby girl in the car and¬†reversing out of my parents’ driveway, I spontaneously turned and said to her “do you want doughnuts?”

She, poor thing, had also had enough. Her eyes nonetheless sparkled with tired excitement. The decision was immediately made.

15 minutes later, we got home with this

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And tonight we will devour this

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I already sneakily ate one mini cookies and cream doughnut. I had to. Man Hubbie’s lucky¬†I didn’t smash a few big-sized donutella’s before he got home.

I really needed it. And in that moment, leaving my parents house, I was so grateful that the famous Mick’s Place milkbar is literally a minutes drive from their place. I’ve written about the milkbar and the beginnings of the Nutella doughnut craze before, but now I am expressing gratitude for it. The way Xzibit pimps dirty shitty old cars over on MTV, so too has this milkbar been pimped to an unbelievable food-porn level. And being on an average corner in the Northern suburbs of Melbourne, a milkbar that I frequented too often as a teenager (which Hubbie still hangs shit on me about)…. well I couldn’t be prouder.

I actually need those doughnuts to find a supplier in our Seachange location. It is a must.

 

(#51) The A-Z April Challenge: M – Multiple Parks

I’ve been very specific for today’s ‘M’ challenge. It’s not that¬†I don’t have things and people and happenings in my life starting with ‘M’ that I’m grateful for – I have my Mum, and she also has a name starting with ‘M’. My daughter is an ‘M.’ I could have spoken about Motherhood, or the place we are thinking of seachanging it to – that’s an ‘M.’ I could have spoken about Michael Jackson, or Michael Buble or Madonna (that’s right I have already written about the queen here)… Hubbie even told me to write about his car, that’s an ‘M’ name, and I commented “no offence, I think your car is great, but how am I grateful for it?” to which he replied, “because it makes me so happy.”

Of course.

But I didn’t want to be writing about the above things (minus the car), on a day when I had to write about them. When I write about my Mum, or Mumhood, or my baby girl, or the place we hope to be moving to… I want to feel the strong emotions of gratitude for them. Not that I don’t everyday. I’ll just write about it on a day when I am particularly¬†moved.

Likewise I won’t write about Mr Jackson or Mr Buble on a day when I haven’t listened to their songs. That’s cheating, it just doesn’t sit right with me.

Lucky for me I went to multiple parks today, and I was super grateful for it. Well it was two, but we’re not up to ‘T’ today now, are we?

The story goes, following baby girl’s nap, it was still early enough to head to the park before dinner. We are fortunate that we have two parks on either side of us, one just under a 5 minute walk, in a court about a block away,¬†and the other just over 5 minutes, around the corner and besides a large sports reserve. It’s brilliant, especially when you have littlies. It was also a gorgeous day out, and wanting to take advantage of every last ray of sunshine before it recedes into grey days, baby girl and I stepped out.

We had been at the first park, the one in the court, not even a few minutes, when two kids rode up in bikes.

They left their bikes on the ground at the entrance to the park’s grass and walked up to the play area. One was a girl, about 5 I’d say, while the boy was about a year older than baby girl. And what alarmed me most, was the noise that came out of his mouth: “cough cough cough!”

Only it wasn’t as straight-forward as that. It was a deep, throaty, the-kids-gonna-throw-up-some-guts type cough that came from the depths of his soul.¬†It was like a demon¬†was being strangled in his throat. I looked down the street to see who had let a child this unwell mingle with other children in a communal playground, and saw a woman approaching. I was mad, and enraged, but I couldn’t do anything. I know that strengthening the immune system is one thing, and many argue and I¬†agree, that¬†a bit of germs¬†and¬†dirt is a good thing.¬†But still, I¬†watched as he jumped around from tunnel to slide to ladder, spluttering and coughing all over the place and NOT covering his mouth, because hey which kid does… but what made me more alarmed was that baby girl was watching this boy, and fascinated with his jungle jumping antics. She started to kind of follow him.

You know which Mums shit me? The ones who are all “oh, don’t worry, all kids get sick!” It’s all well and good until they’re crying out to you in the middle of the night because the snot has filled up their nose and they can’t breathe, or the coughing from their irritated throats wakes them up and they won’t take cough medicine so all you can do is hold them for hours and¬†curse the Mother who thought it was ok to let her sick kid onto the playground because she was ‘sick’ of dealing with him at home.

So, I acted immediately. I whispered to her that we would go to the other ‘big park,’ because the boy here was sick and would make us so. I love this girl, she’s pretty good when she’s getting what she wants. She obediently followed, and I sighed relieved, that we had another park to go to and I hadn’t just shattered her afternoon bliss.

So, from this Mama, thank goodness for our multiple parks.

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#27 Park Days

Today was difficult in many aspects. I could sooo count the ways for you, but this is not that type of post (go to my Things That Shit Me tag on my SmikG blog for that).

But, sometime in the morning, I had this:

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It’s nice to just sit in the sun on a park bench, enjoying the March warmth beaming down, and just taking a moment to just be. I’m grateful that I least had that, today.