#527 Motherly Moments

Tired and uninspired.

I’ve had times today where I’ve been fed up and frustrated… both with life and baby girl.

But by the same token, I’ve had proud Motherly Moments.

Like for example, when baby girl needed a snack, and after giving it to her she said happily “Thank you Mama.”

Or how when I asked if she wanted any fish with her dinner, instead of cracking it and complaining, she gave a sweet “no thanks,” tilted her head and squinted her eyes in a cheeky ‘you-know-you-love-me’ fashion.

Or the way she asked for more capsicum strips during dinner. She didn’t want a bar of them yesterday, and yet today, it’s her favourite food.

Or when I was at her level, helping her in the toilet, and she gave me repeated kisses on my forehead, followed by eskimo kisses, a lean in to me and “Awww, Mama.”

(Heart-grabbing).

Like I said, proud moments. One proud Mama. She is a stubborn girl, and has real determination and personality about her, but she is a beautiful and kind soul, with such genuine goodwill and heart, that it warms our soul every day.

It suddenly makes me not so tired, and not so uninspired… ūüôā

#511 Frozen Fun

It was always going to be a grateful day when we went to see Disney’s Frozen On Ice. None more so grateful that baby girl herself.

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She dressed up in her finest character-gear – the ‘Anna’ costume (which I secretly revelled in because she was going against the grain of every other girl dressing as Elsa);

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we jumped on a beachside train and had a fun trip into the city alongside other little people dressed as Frozen characters (baby girl became best friends instantly with a girl her age dressed as Elsa);

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and after the show, took a token piece of heavily-overpriced Frozen merchandise home, because you know, Disney marketing.

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Isn’t baby girl the one grateful for all this? Why would I even mention these things when all of the above points would have made HER excited and happy?

It’s because what makes her happy, makes us happy too. Thrilled. It was all done for her, but when you do something for someone out of love, the love just multiplies, until you too, are obsessively in love with¬†Anna and¬†Kristoff,¬†and do a Lleyton-style fist pump when Anna smashes one across Hans’ face.

(Yes).

Such a beautiful day for baby girl, that made us smile, bonded us more as a family, and has left us absolutely pooped TO NO END.

Ahhh. Bed is looking good…

 

 

#480 Her affectionate nature no.2

“Ugh,” I groaned. I was over it. Baby girl was going for yet another book.

Any other night and I would have just bared it. Tonight however, I was feeling ‘it’ again. Under the weather. Tired. Weak. Sore throat. The last few weeks this is how I’ve been… how we’ve all been. The cold comes, the cold goes.

Great, I thought. This Winter cold is ‘up’ again.

She came back to her bed with a second book, while I closed my eyes and willed myself to remain calm.

The sooner I read it, the sooner it’ll be over, and then I’ll be able to go to sleep.

I started reading an old faithful: In The Night Garden.

“The night is black and the stars are bright,

and the sea is dark and deep,

and someone I know is safe and snug

and drifting off to sleep…”

Baby girl was grabbing at my free hand, and appeared to be doing something to it… tickling it? Was she drawing circles in it the way I used to do to her hand, during this part of the story?

It occurred to me as she straightened my fingers. “Do you want to hold hands?” I closed mine around hers.

“Yeah.”

Awww. Immediately, all the frustration I’d been feeling melted away. She wanted to hold hands and have me read to her? This girl is the cheekiest and smartest and most challenging of monkeys at times, but when she pulls things like this,¬†my heart can barely cope with the onslaught of love.¬†Simultaneous guilt for wanting to go and sleep, versus enormous gratitude for this moment emerged.

Always more gratitude though, because glass half-full gal and all…

I squeezed her hand into mine and kept reading.

“Round and round a little boat,

No bigger than your hand.

Out in the ocean,

Far away from land…”

 

#372 Getting used to the burn

Last week following my Zumba home workout, and my short ab crunching spell that was in line with something I had seen in an online video by a health instructor, I felt elated. Full of energy. Excited at this new start, this new me, and this new version of SmikG that got to have ‘her time,’ when baby girl was at kinder.

More of me was coming back, baby.

But. Then I got tired. Sleepy. Flat. I hadn’t exercised in¬†a long time, in terms of exercise you do when you are doing repeated steps in order to feel burn in certain places. The type of exercise where I am run off my feet with baby girl and house tasks, sure, I freaking excel at.

But an actual workout? Nah. The closest thing had been pre-natal yoga, 4 years ago.

I had felt the burn alright. In my tummy. Below my buttocks. I was a bit dismayed that I felt so tired following it, that I didn’t quite know what to expect today.

Well. I’ve been trying to do my ab crunches where I can in the last week. And then as I took out my trusty Zumba dvd again today,¬†completing one¬†workout… I finished feeling… FINE.

Ok, I thought. Time to do the online video from my phone.

I copied the short sequence of movements, lasting a few minutes.

I felt the ab burn ALRIGHT, HARD. But still… I felt FINE.

I was waiting for it. And waiting for it. I thought I knew what was to come…

‘Now I’ll feel tired and screwed for the rest of the day.’

And yet surprisingly, happily,¬†I didn’t. I didn’t feel tired. Weak. I went about the rest of my time, running around the house doing various tasks, and feeling invigorated. I felt GREAT!

Sure, I feel pretty tired now. I haven’t stopped all day. But I am so happy that I didn’t get that flat feeling following my workout like I did last week, as it allowed me to¬† go through my day with boundless energy, and a strong sense of grabbing life by the balls and saying “Hey YOU!¬† I’m in charge today!”

And I sure was. All because I’m getting used to the burn ūüôā

 

#367 The calm after the Partays

Thursday was a full on day. Kinder for baby girl. My 5 hours ‘off,’ were actually crammed in with everything and anything I could think of.

We had visitors over that night, my cousins.

Friday night (yesterday) we had an engagement. I slept 4 hours. Got up to work today. Groggily.

We had a birthday on tonight. Drove to the other side of town. Drove back. I don’t know how many hours of sleep I’ll get tonight. I’m working tomorrow, again.

And although there is one more ‘task,’ to tick of my to-do list, that of work for the weekend, I sure am glad that the festivity part is over, at least for now.

Don’t get me wrong.¬†I love heading out, getting dressed up, having fun, socialising, and watching baby girl thrive amidst it all.

But I haven’t stopped. I’m tired. I still need to work. We’re all getting under the weather.

We just need to stop and take a moment to breathe. In peace.

And so, I am hopeful, that finally the calm has come. And I’m so grateful for it.

#193 Coming home on a Sunday night

I love being out, amongst good company, and especially love being at my parents house with good company… as we were today for Father’s Day. I can never bore when my parents, or sister, or bro-in-law, or nephews are there. I love them all.

However, I also love coming home. And there was no sweeter cherry, on top of the delicious cake of a day we had with our family today, than when we walked through our own doors, put the heater on, and got in our pyjamas before dinner time.

We’ve had a big weekend, and now it’s time for a big sleep.

‘Night.