#1281 Down time after the birthday weekend

Tonight, there is no writing.

Tonight, there is no reading.

There isn’t even a pre-emptive to-do list for the week ahead.

I think I will work it out. I always have.

Tonight, I do nothing. After the birthday weekend we’ve just had, I am spent.

I am satisfied.

I am exhausted.

I will sit here on the couch and smile as I go through photo after photo, and snuggle in closer to the cushion as I hear the wind howling outside, all while giving thanks for yesterday’s sunshine.

Tonight, I take a break. ❤

#1215 She’s a shooting star

I am sure I have a sixth sense.

I have known and felt it for a while, though to be honest I don’t think I have been honing it, or giving it the time it needs to feel it’s strong presence in my life lately.

Today I was reminded of it again.

You may remember I drew some hearts on baby girl’s hand some time ago… well my intention was to do that every day before school, but I was so busy preparing for my sister’s big birthday that I just, plain and simple, forgot every day.

I’ve only done it twice in total. And today finally, I decided to pull another piece of symbolic and motivational arsenal out of my parenting bag.

A star.

I asker her if I could draw a star on her hand, and of course she wanted both hands… so I stood there trying my damn-dest to draw the most even stars I could, with the cat meowing and the clock ticking towards 9am in the background.

We got to school and were near the locker bay as she was unpacking her things. Her teacher smiled and said hi to me… I’ve always liked her, in fact before I knew she was baby girl’s teacher, I wanted her to be baby girl’s teacher… we greeted each other, but today she seemed chirpier with me.

“Baby girl is getting the shooting star award today!”

“Really?!” my eyes widened. I was so happy I was stunned. “What for?”

“Well she is an independent learner, she puts her hand up and always tries, and is a great listener…”

“Wow.”

“Yeah I forgot to tell you earlier… can you make it to assembly?”

Well F*&k. On the one day I was across town ticking off jobs on my to-do list, this was happening. As rushed as I would be, I wasn’t missing this.

“I’ll make it!”

She told baby girl, who fell over backwards (she was on the floor already) when she heard this. She was excited. She finished unpacking and came towards me, all happy and giddy.

“Hey!” I started. “Your stars! How did I know you were getting the shooting star today?”

IMAG9322

I promptly took a photo. They were all in red for their Salvo appeal day, and my heart was already glowing a deep red knowing the future events of the day.

I arrived on time. Sat at the back of the big hall with the other parents witnessing their kids get awards. Each fortnight there is a group of kids from within the whole school who get a shooting star award at assembly. I had never been to assembly. But baby girl has never been called up on stage either.

Today she was first off the rank.

They called the award and her name, and I watched on, so bloody proud as she walked over, got her certificate, and then went to sit on the front of the stage… but before she sat down, she gave a wave to her friends in the front row.

Oh, darling. ♥♥

IMAG9333

It was the sweetest thing. She kept waving to her classmates… she wasn’t the only one, the other kids did it too… and I watched as she hugged her certificate close to her chest in happiness, in between waving to me, and then back to her friends.

Next certificate has to go to who was more excited about her shooting star award… me, Hubbie or baby girl herself. That’s a tough race. There’s some real competition there. 🙂

IMAG9342_1

#1124 Chai latte

Sometimes I don’t need a coffee.

Sometimes I need a different kind of latte…

Chai, speaking.

IMAG7749

This place off the Main street in Mornington does a really good one. For a proper fix, I go to one of two places on that strip. Today, as my tasks and adventures took me to a particular side, I knew it was time to ‘check in.’

It was an indefinite intermission from the tasks of the day. The morning sun shone brightly through the windows, burning me through my jeans. I read the local magazine from cover to cover, not due to avoidance of the day ahead, but… the chai was so damn hot! I could barely hold the mug, and so I read, and sipped, and relaxed in this deliberately imposed state that the barista had put upon me…

And for that, thank you 🙂

#1019 Cut and paste with my (inner) child

I could have been doing something for the house… like cleaning.

I could have been doing something for our life… like making phone calls.

And I could have even been doing something for ME… like one of the billion writing projects I have planned to write about.

But instead, I did something for HER.

Or me. You be the judge.

I started when she was at kinder. It was the fiddly job of stencilling out letters, and cutting around them, making sure I was getting enough of every colour I had there.

IMAG5308

I sat there, almost in a half-meditation. Half-focused on the task at hand, and half-contemplative, thoughts running through my mind in slow motion.

I was sitting. I was calm. I had the occasional thought of ‘you could be doing this….’ But then I would pick up a sheet of yellow, and all nagging thoughts would disappear.

When had I last put fun art like this, first?

Once baby girl was home, she helped me. We pasted. We arranged. I got glue all over my hands. She sat with a determined look on her face, trying her best to make an even line of glue along all the sticks she had…

It was a beautiful moment to spend together. But it had also been beautiful, when I had been on my own, cutting away…

And what was it all for?

IMAG5313

2 days people! 🙂

#1001 The 15 minute seaside break

What can you do in 15 minutes? Rather, if you find yourself with a little free time, what do you usually fill that time up with?

A phone call?

Clear up that corner mess?

Pay some bills online?

Start folding the laundry?

15 minutes can come and go by so quickly, that we often don’t make the most of it – in a personal sense.  Instead we pass the time by doing some odd boring job, most of the time one of our ‘never-ending tasks’… you know the ones, that like boomerangs always come back, no matter how many times we do it?

We tend to put off doing anything good or fulfilling for ourselves, usually saying “I’ll do it when I have MORE time.”

“When I don’t feel so tired.”

“When it’s not a Sunday.”

“When I don’t have groceries in the car.”

“When I have planned for it better.”

Today, after our quick stop at the shops, I had all of the above reasons and more as we grappled with the idea… to stop at the coastline, or head straight back home?

Hmm, it seemed like such a good idea.

But, was it? We were tired. We still had sooo much cleaning to do at home post-birthday bash celebrations, so that mammoth task was still awaiting us and looming in our minds…

We decided for and against as we drove down the main beach road in our town, swaying like a pendulum as we went to, fro, to, fro…

TO, FRO.

Until I said “stuff it.”

I turned right – it was to be TO.

IMAG5006

WHY DID WE EVEN WONDER IF THERE WAS ANY ARGUMENT BUT FOR THE BEACH???

IMAG5016

So often we put our enjoyable moments on the backburner, waiting for the most perfect, opportune time.

But any moment can be the perfect time. Any moment you can manage it. We need to stop living in such limiting ways so as to think “oh, I am too busy.”

You are NOT too busy to make yourself happy.

You are NOT too busy to make yourself smile.

You are NOT too busy to give yourself a timeout and a chance to enjoy the life that you live, doing whatever it is that makes you, and only you, uniquely happy.

So today we sat on a brick wall, breathed in some lovely sea air, and decided, we are going to make the most out of life, whether that includes the beach or not.

And so should YOU.

IMAG5014

 

#990 Wednesday family time

Hubbie hates how I work Wednesdays. Like HATES. He hates it in bold, hates it underlined, hates it italicised, any which way you can highlight it, he does it…

He hates my working Wednesdays.

I joke he will hate them in a different way when I am not working next year and suddenly he will be hating the non-money I bring in, ha ha.

But seriously, I do get it.

He is home, and he can’t even look forward to his middle of the week day off with baby girl and I. Because there is no ‘I.’ ‘I’ am at work.

I’ve had to get away to work earlier for many weeks now, meaning the usual go-to-work late time of 1:30pm has been pulled even further back to 11am.

We couldn’t even go and do stuff in the mornings together. I got up, ate and got ready, and left.

Today however was exciting. For the first time in what feels like yonks, I was able to leave at 1:30pm. And we crammed soooo much in.

It felt like the longest and sweetest morning, in fact my time with my family was a day all in itself, that’s how much we did. What made it better was the dress I happened across (which is fabulous I might add), and also our family coffee date:

IMAG4786

You know what Hubbie said about it?

“I feel like I’m on holiday.”

And if that is coming out of his mouth on a Wednesday, well then I know we have made it a pretty good one.

#989 The f*&king application

I sat at my desk today, trying to write.

Here is my desk:

IMAG4780

Hold on. Let’s take a closer look, shall we…

IMAG4779

Yep. It was that kind of day.

I had held off on a to-do list item for a while now. And it wasn’t just ANY to-do list item. It was a writing one, one that involved applying for a writing course that I was hoping to put concerted effort into if approved – not only because it was a long-held passion of mine, but because I had to find something to do next year when my 11-year job came to a halt.

In applying for this course, I had to write a cover letter detailing the stage and progress of my novel, as well as include 1500 words of prose.

But, what would I write?

“Uh, so I wrote this book, about 20,000 words too long. And then I sent it out to agents with no luck, so I kept re-writing, and then I got it down (slightly), but then by that stage I had a baby.

I totally went off the ‘pitching book to agent phase’ because you know, said BABY and all, and then found another avenue to express my love of writing – in blogging.

And you know blogging is sooo much easier. No one is there correcting my work or telling me I can’t get published. I write what I like, and when I hit post, the whole world gets to see what I’ve written, whether they like it or not, think it is smart or not, and whether they agree with me or not.

But I really need to get my head out of the sand and start doing something with my novel, hence why I am here. SO. PLEASE. HELP. Accept me into this course before I start yet another blog.”

Or, something like that. Like, how could I actually put into words the last 6 years of my writing life?

I did my damn best. I put something together, I was honest, I added the words “cringe” (because I really was cringing as I put it all together) and prayed that it would be received well.

How horrible would it be to actually be rejected for a writing course? Like can you imagine… you want to pay someone a considerable amount of money to teach you stuff, and they go “no sorry, we don’t want you to pay us.”

Shudder.

To their benefit, the programme wants to make sure that the level you are writing at is best suited to their course, or else they can suggest something else for you. They don’t want to waste your money, which is actually admirable.

Still, I need help. And today I was so glad and grateful that I finally got around to writing those few pesky letters and emails I was putting off for so long, because I couldn’t actually put down in words, what I had been doing with words, all these years.

But I got there… and I hope that I actually, get there.