#481 The Trampoline

I mean, of course I was going to be grateful we had bought baby girl a trampoline, right?

Right???

Well….. (breaths out) let’s discuss the last week.

Firstly, last Sunday as we finished putting the ‘thing’ up over 3 hours, Hubbie said to me “I never had a trampoline as a kid,” and then proceeded to jump as high as he could in the middle of the mat while baby girl and I bounced around crazily around him.

“I know, right?” I said. “it’s like we’re fulfilling our childhood dreams through her!”

So bloody cool. When you give your kids things you never had as a child, you feel more than proud… you feel fulfilled. Special. You feel like you’ve come full circle, and now that you have a 10 foot trampoline in your backyard, you are somehow complete.

I had also thought, now that her day naps were mostly gone, that the trampoline would give me that little bit of ‘me’ time while baby girl went crazy outside, prepping herself for the most awesomest of awesome sleeps that night. I was like ‘this will be great, I can write again.’

Then on Monday, she was jumping… and wanted me to jump with her.

On Tuesday, I sent her out there on her own, and yet again – she wanted me to jump with her.

Wednesday I started work late, and sure enough, as Hubbie was checking out our gutters around the side of the house that morning, she was pleading with me: “please please!”

Now, I don’t know about you, YOU being any other person out there, or if YOU is a fellow Mum or parent, but I ALWAYS have shit to do around the house. Cleaning, food prep, washing, do this, sort that, we still have boxes here, catch up on writing, grocery shopping, and the list goes on and on and on. I don’t really have time for jumping. I wish that was all I had to worry about – how much bloody jumping I can cram into one day. But I don’t. I start with a rough list, and if I’m lucky I complete it. I don’t usually have time for much more.

Today, AGAIN. Now on all these other occasions I complied, and jumped with her for a little. I told her I was cold, sick, had to go to work, whatever. And all those times I wasn’t lying. But I also told her that she had to jump on her own – we had bought this trampoline for her to jump, not for Mummy to jump!

(Just thinking those words again makes me realise how lonely that thought is. Jumping alone).

I was going to try and sneak in some writing while she watched TV in the other room. And of course as soon as the laptop was fired up, round the corner she came, saying “Mama?”

She wanted to jump. It was after 5, and darkness was falling upon us. She only had a little bit of time left, and quite frankly I was concerned she would rope me into it.

“You can jump, BUT… Mummy is staying inside, alright? I’m not jumping. Just you’re jumping. Mummy is sick, she has a sore throat, she’s cold… ok? You understand me?”

She nodded obediently at me, just as she had every other time before eventually pleading with me to jump with her.

She headed out and I turned back to my laptop, and after a minute or so, she started to intermittently call out.

“Ma! Ma!”

It was more sing-song than anything, so I ignored it. But soon she came to the door again, knocking loudly, and opened it so I could see her.

“Jump?”

“NO!” I had had it UP TO HERE (the sky). I went over to the door and locked it behind her so she couldn’t go back out. “Baby girl you just don’t listen, you can’t always have your way!” I seriously was feeling under the weather, and besides, this girl needed to learn rules! This was not on, we couldn’t cave in every time she wanted something.

I headed back to the laptop with her throwing a tantrum behind me, yelling, and then crying in a pleading tone. As I sat back at the desk, she came from behind, and poked her head forward from the side, trying to get me to look away from the laptop.

I turned to her. These big, brown, pleading eyes, tainted with tears, a hopeful face, parted mouth, wishing and praying that Mum would not be upset, and Mum would come around and jump.

Fuck Me.

How could I say no? I followed her out and strictly told her I would stay seated on the mat while she jumped around me – I wouldn’t jump myself.

(What follows are some highly-skilled and photogenic shots baby girl and I took of each other)

And yet it was pretty fun. She jumped around me, into my lap repeatedly, and I ‘ate her up’ with kisses. We had an absolute ball, and then it turned dark, and it was time to go inside.

So in answer to my question… yes. Yes I am grateful we got her a trampoline… I just don’t know what we’ve created in the process.

A jump-a-holic, stubborn, cheeky and clever girl who will go to any lengths to get what she wants.

We’re in trouble.

 

#401 Wiggles Band-Aids

I should really be grateful for my parents and my sister coming to visit us today. It has been way too long since my parents were over, and I was so excited to show the fam around, and head out by the bay into the still and fresh air, and say “here’s home.”

But no. Instead I am grateful for freaking Wiggles Band-Aids.

Because not even 15 minutes after their arrival, baby girl decided to bolt, Usain style, around the corner of the house, for no other reason other than she is a toddler and running is as normal to her as is refusing bedtime, wanting to eat chocolate, and deciding that Mum must not shop in peace. (For any non-parents that are confused, that means all of the above are NORMAL).

She tripped and fell on the uneven path out the back (one of our 1 billion to-dos on our no-existing to-do list) and scraped both her palms, so much so that skin was now missing. It didn’t look too bad – sure there was blood – but still, knowing that the skin had ripped off, even if ever so slightly, I knew it would be stinging.

And then there was the crying. Sure, she is a dramatic one, but she is also a trooper. She is tougher than some boys, and will normally get up after a fall, dusting herself off. That is how we raised her – ‘no fuss, up you go.’

But she would NOT stop.

I don’t think she was use to the constant stinging pain. Nothing would help, yet eventually after screaming the house down, we tried washing her hands, and also, applying Band-Aids.

She has never to this day, allowed Band-Aids on her. Which has made my life hard at times, because when I want to help cover a wound she’s gotten, she will scream “no!” ’til red in the face, and continue to wail. And cry. And moan. And scream.

While I rip my hair out trying to figure out how to help a girl that doesn’t want help.

But, after the application and removal of 8 Wiggles Band-Aids (this was due to the fact that as soon as they were on, they had to come off), we succeeded. Her last pair went on about midday, and thank God they’re still on. She’s napping with them.

Thank F&^% for themed Band-Aids. I don’t know what I would have done without them today.

#376 Observation while packing a bag of potatoes…

If anyone can find the above title anywhere on the world wide web, well I’ll… I’ll eat a whole bag of potatoes.

When an older woman, or one that has long-since passed the toddler stage, says that a moment I’m sharing with baby girl, that is oblivious to me, is actually a lovely moment, I take note. I just know, automatically, without doubt, SHE IS RIGHT. I don’t question her one bit. I stopped that, a long time ago.

Today a woman noticed I was having a sweet moment with baby girl.

To me, it was just a normal moment.

I was grocery shopping with baby girl. Often, she likes to help pack the plastic bags with whatever fruit/vegetable we need. We had already put about 8 apples in one bag; now we were on to the potatoes.

I took the bag, holding it open, and passed her a potato of my choice from the high display, to her hand below.

“Here you go.”

She took the potato from my hand and plopped it in the bag.

“Here’s another one.”

Again, she took the potato from my hand, adding this one to the bag.

This continued until we had about 7 potatoes. I lay the bag in the trolley as I tied it up, looking up to see a woman standing by, waiting to access the area I was blocking off.

“Sorry!” I said, moving forward and pushing the trolley onwards.

“That’s ok,” she replied with a smile. “It’s actually quite nice to watch.”

She nodded towards baby girl, and I smiled.

“Thank you, that’s very sweet of you.”

I moved off, feeling proud as punch. What an awesome Mum I was.

She was also there when a moment later baby girl had a hissy fit because I placed her kinder surprise incorrectly in the trolley: it was a millimetre away from the bag of capsicums, instead of being directly aside the bag of capsicums.

Sorry baby girl, I was a whole millimetre off.

😉

So today, a woman noticed I was having a sweet moment with baby girl.

To me, it was just a normal moment.

But from now on, I will never pack potatoes the same way again.

Gratitude in my heart, always 🙂

 

 

 

#364 Our conversation

So I’m at work, and I call Hubbie.

Light chit chat. She slept this much. They’ve done this. It’s so windy here. Why don’t you cook like that when I’m home.

Then, there’s some noises, disruption and shuffling, and I realise, baby girl has taken the phone off of her Dad.

“Hi Princess! Did you have a good sleep?”

“Ya.”

“Are you having a good time?”

“Ya.”

“Are you playing with your blocks?”

“Up up up!”

“Ohhh, you’re building them up! That’s good! Are you watching Frozen?”

“Let it go, let it go!”

“We’re going to see them on ice in 5 months! Are you excited?”

“Ya, woowoowoo!”

“Yes, we’re going to see the Wiggles, too, but in 2 months.”

“Oh.”

Maybe a bunch of nonsense and incomprehensible words for some, but for me, it was the first telephone convo I’ve had with baby girl where not only have I held her attention long enough to pass words between us, but we’ve BOTH understood each other and been able to respond to one another.

It was GOLD.

Aww this girl. She has a big chunk of my heart. 🙂

(Just for fun, can anyone guess what tomorrow’s post might be dedicated to? Just look above, and think… 😉 )

#363 Play-doh

You end up doing ALL kinds of things when you are a parent, and participating in ALL kinds of activities to amuse the little ones.

Often you do this, kind of chaperoning and looking out for them during these times, because they are still quite young and naïve, and just need a watchful eye over them as they –

draw on that a4 sized paper with red texta as they lay on your carpeted floor

OR

throw the ball wildly around in the backyard as two of your birds watch above from their cages in slight horror

OR

practice riding their new bike on and around your steep driveway.

You hang around, for their safety, for other’s safety, and also, for cleanliness.

That’s a BIG one for me.

Many of the times I hang around and make sure baby girl is in line is simply to make sure she doesn’t make more mess. Sure, she is rapt and thinks “Mum is playing with me!” And, I am. But I scold myself that I don’t live in the moment more and appreciate the time spent with her, instead watching warily to see if any mess will be made.

I just can’t handle the thought of having more stuff to clean up, when already I am the primary person who cleans up SO MUCH. It bothers me to an infuriating point, to think there is some kind of mess or disorganisation made, and to someone who already spends so much of their day doing it, to do extra when it could have been avoided…

well it just really gets my goat.

Play-doh is one such activity I have to be right there, next to her, ‘helping’ her make creations. I get all OCD and make sure she doesn’t mix up the colours so she can use them again. And then I think ‘these things are dirt cheap, I could buy more tubs at the supermarket if she blends them all into one dough-y heap!’

But then today, after promising her for half the day that we would take out her play-doh, when we did, I found myself not just getting into OCD mode, but Lego mode too.

‘Lego’ mode is when I get soooo into the Lego making, that when she deviates from the instructions and wants to make her own block creations, I get exasperated and exclaim “baby girl! why do you want me here if you don’t want to do it properly!”

So OCD, I know.

But, we had a lovely moment with our play-doh date. I lost a bit of my OCD, and though we were keeping the colours separate, we both got really into the art of making play-doh flowers, play-doh icing, play-doh fruit, and other kinds of cupcake toppers using some tools from a recent set she was given.

She loved it, and I really loved the creativity we both got into, expressing ourselves with colourful, dough. I actually lost myself in the moment, several times.

Doh! Appreciating the Doh.

 

 

 

#302 Bedtime laughter

Once again, baby girl steals the show in the final hours of the night.

That little lioness of mine 😉

So, her bedtime routine now includes 1 book, not 4, or 5, as I’ve previously mentioned. It doesn’t interest her as much; or, it’s yet another phase. Either or, I’m not complaining. I know we will share many more reading moments together.

Also, she now has a little plastic battery-operated night-lamp, with ballerinas present on the shade. This comforts her in falling asleep, and keeps her soothed so if she were to wake in the middle of the night, she’d fall asleep again, rather than go in search of me at 4am.

But because the lamp is on for about 8-9 hours each night, I feel like the light has slightly faded. I’m actually quite impressed that I haven’t had to change the batteries yet. It’s been going on 2 weeks since we bought it I’m sure.

When we first got it, I was able to place it on baby girl’s toy chest beside me and read her books to her from the dim light that shone through. I know it must be fading though, because I can barely see the words on the pages, and instead I now use the little lamp as a kind of torch, waving it over the page to read the words as I go.

(Why not just put the light on, you ask? You clearly do not have a toddler. Toddlers don’t just have a 2nd wind before bedtime – their wind resembles something like a tornado. Getting a toddler to calm down for bedtime is a daily challenge, so having a bright light on during reading time when they are meant to be ‘winding down,’ is a big NO NO).

So I’m in bed with her, waving this lamp over the page. I’m wondering what time I am eventually gonna get out of there, while reading about the adventures of the Ninky Nonk and the Pinky Ponk  – (again, if you are not a parent and you didn’t know what I was talking about you would be forgiven for assuming I’m on crack) –

and then Iggle Piggle is there too and he’s about to go see where Makka Pakka and Upsy Daisy are in the Night Garden (I know, I know)…

when the lamp slips from my hand and hits the page.

“Whoops!” I pick it up swiftly.

But baby girl has been set off like a firecracker.

She laughs this unyielding, adorable cackle, unable to contain her amusement. In that moment I could breathe loudly and she would find it hilarious. But even I smile a bit and laugh along, before pushing forward and telling her to turn the page.

But as I keep reading, a laugh escapes me, just too as it escapes her. We’re giggling and laughing, unable to forget the little, silly, ‘whoops’ and lamp-hitting-page activity that just transpired between us.

And suddenly, it’s like when you’re with friends. You know when someone does or says something, you both laugh, and then when you try to move on you can’t, because you keep remembering what made you laugh? And both your laughter keeps the other one laughing, and on and on it goes.

We totally were like that. Friends. Mum and Daughter. I don’t even know why it was so funny. It was a ‘you just had to be there’ moment. But it was gold. Her laugh was infectious, and as always, even though I was winding her down, I couldn’t help myself: I had to hear her laughter again.

2 pages later, and “whoops!” lamp ‘accidentally’ hits the page again. Sorry Upsy Daisy.

in-the-night-garden-iggle-piggle-upsy-daisy

We laughed out loud, cackled, and truly, it was beautiful. Simply beautiful.

Such a little moment, but such a lot of love.

It’s always the little moments. Because the little moments, fill your heart with a lot of love.