#1025 That he also had a tough day

It may seem awfully cruel and mean-spirited for me to be happy, grateful even, that today, Hubbie had a trying day with baby girl.

But you really need to see it in context.

A couple of days ago I was sitting at the dinner table, my head in my hands, telling him how I wanted to rip my hair out!

Baby girl was in a weird way lately. Talking back constantly. Arguing at my every request. Putting up a fight for any little thing possible. It was insane. I didn’t want to let her get away with it, so it meant me constantly telling her what she was saying or doing was wrong or not nice, and this in itself created more of a cycle of stress!

He chuckled to himself while watching me.

“You think this is funny? I’ll ask you on Wednesday if you think it’s so funny. GOOD LUCK.”

It wasn’t a wish. It was a challenge.

Today, Wednesday, I got home from work – LATE. I had had to make a stop on the way home, and leaving so much later meant I was on the Monash freeway later…. and I crawled, I swear, for the entire stretch of freeway. I had left the city at 5:10, and I got home before 7pm.

ARGH.

But I was happy. I was home. The sun was out. I moved towards the front door, and as I turned the corner –

swoosh! a butterfly had been hanging around on our fly screen door, and as I came closer it flew off, almost colliding with my face.

It gave me such a shock, and rattled my nerves so much, that it took me several minutes to calm the fuck down still my beating heart.

Inside, I went to give baby girl a kiss. As I leaned down to kiss her head, she went all baby girl on me, and jumped excitedly…

OUCH! Her head hit my lip, and the pain seared all over.

I stomped upstairs, to find a red bruise on my lips.

Great. Just fucking great.

I was now seriously peeved. I had come home, wanting respite from the mammoth traffic jam that had been my route home, and instead was assaulted by winged insects and young girls. I may as well have stayed at work.

Instead I sat down with Hubbie and baby girl to eat. He had made pan-fried chips with our dinner, as I had requested last night. This made me happy, as when I said it I hadn’t seriously expected him to do it – but he did. We ate in silence, as he was breathing heavily with his own shit weighing upon him, and I had my own reasons as to why I was major cranky-pants – and then there was baby girl in between us, chowing down on her pasta.

Once enough food had gone into us, we started to open up, and talk…

And he began to tell me all the ways in which she had been difficult that day.

Arguing at the park. Falling over. Crying. Having it her way – ALL DAY. Making him buy her stuff. Squirting him with water when they washed the car. Insisting she went out to ride her bike in the maximum heat of the day at 5pm.

He said he had gained 10 grey hairs just that day.

“Ha!” I exclaimed. “And you were laughing at me days ago? Now do you see why I am the way I am???”

He didn’t say a word, instead a small grin coming onto his face. He knew I was right.

“Sorry, but not sorry…. suffer in your jocks.”

And though the most juvenile thing to say, it was actually the most fitting and he took it well… after all, the hose had gone in that direction.

(And then we proceeded through all the nagging talk to still bestow upon baby girl a million kisses by bedtime 🙂 She always wins.)

#857 Running late to the skies

My alarm goes off at 5am. I sleepily turn it off, in an effort to not wake up Hubbie any more than I need to, because he, unlike me, can sleep in.

I tell myself I will get up. I will get up. Just a few more minutes. It is sooo cold. I’m warm now, but when I get up, the icy air will hit me hard. Just a few more minutes…

I look at the clock. It is now 5:27am.

“F^&k!” I whisper, throwing the covers off me.

If it was just the 15 or so minutes later I’ll be, that’s fine, I think. I will at worst be at work 5 minutes late. No biggie.

But then, something happens.

THE MONASH FREEWAY happens.

There are two incidents, both near the start and end of my Monash journey, so that I end up anticipating a good 30 minute late start to work.

It’ll be ok, and I won’t get in trouble… I just hate it.

Even so, when I park my car before the 10 minute walk over to the building, I spot something. I have to take out my phone, and SNAP!

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Being late was worth it, for that sky.

Soon, it is the end of the day. I jump into my car eagerly. I want to go to a nearby shop on our side of town that closes at 5:30pm. If I get home by 4:30, we have about an hour.

But then, something happens… again.

Yep, you guessed it… the freaking Monash freeway.

Multiple incidents and who knows what else forecast my trip as taking an extra half an hour to get home, so I take an alternative route, that gives me all manner of stress and hell, but I manage to make it home, a bit later than thought, but still, we all run out to the shop.

We come back home after 5:30. I am tired. I have been out of the house ALL day. I am cold. I am hungry. I just want a moment to myself. Baby girl won’t stop talking to me, Hubbie is in a good mood and just can’t stop repeating himself, and all I really need is to sit down and have a few minutes of peace.

But then, I see this:

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And I SNAP!

And once again, being late is worth it, for that sky 🙂

 

#810 The scenic route Home

It doesn’t matter if I’ve been on the other side of town ALL day.

It doesn’t matter if I’ve just been stuck in a traffic jam while heading home from work.

Nor like today, does it matter if I’ve driven for about 4 hours and just wanna get home.

Because I’ll ALWAYS take the scenic route.

To be fair, if I take the extended freeway length and get off it closer to home, it may or may not be 5 minutes shorter. Certainly, going that way means I don’t have to get off the freeway earlier, and contend with traffic lights and 60-80 km/h traffic through Frankston and Mt Eliza…

But then I wouldn’t see this.

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Driving an extra 5 minutes is totally worth it. Every single time I sneak a look at the water when I drive past Frankston Waterfront – every time. I’m not the only one though. You can tell the 60km/h speed limit is as much for the water-gazers all turning around the bend in unison and getting perilously close to one another as they take longer than necessary looks upon the ocean before them, as much as it is because the road curves.

I’ve had both good days and bad days looking out towards that view as I drive home.

And each time, I am brought a renewed sense of Hope, no matter how shitty things may have been that day.

Today’s mood? Reflective. And appreciative, that I was Home. ♥♥♥

#801 Anzac Day gratitude

Each day is what you make of it. Even if you aren’t doing something you would like to be doing, you can still adjust your attitude, and look for ways to make things better for yourself.

I was working… on a public holiday… AGAIN. But the streets were quiet, I had no traffic both to and from work, and I revelled in this momentary ease of work commute, knowing I wouldn’t get another one like this mid-week anytime soon.

And because of the public holiday… we got free pizza for lunch.

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I know, I know, carb-fest. So sue me.

I then had a tiff with Hubbie, so spent some of the day feeling lowly, but we made up when I got home, as he had started a…

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BBQ! Baby girl photobombing AGAIN. Yes I only made up with him because of the BBQ. 😀

No, but really, I was happy to be home with my family.

I haven’t watched a proper game of AFL since before baby girl was born. But suddenly, I had the intense desire to see my team the Pies go against the Bombers in their classic April the 25th clash…

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And what a game to recommence viewing of this fine sport. THEY WON.

And as I listened to the team song echoing out across the MCG, the player’s interviews, clapping along myself to it all, I looked out towards the view beyond our window, and saw this.

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Yep, another sunset. But it was a sunset that meant so much more today, as today we were honouring the Anzacs, the fallen men and women who served our country in war, providing for us the freedom and democracy we have in the beautiful country we live in, today.

That sunset was for them.

Many things to be grateful for, on Anzac Day… least of all, the Anzacs.

 

#694 My imitator

When your child starts to copy the things you do and say, it can be pretty funny/sweet/horrible/ironic.

It’s all relative to the experience, you see.

FUNNY

I tell her not to touch things in a ‘special’ shop… she ignores this, but when another child enters and starts touching, she tells them “DON’T TOUCH!”

SWEET

Hubbie and I are telling her how special and precious she is to us. “You make us soooo happy! We love you.”

She responds with “No, Mama Tato make me MORE happy! I like you MORE!”

HORRIBLE

I will be stuck in traffic and yelling at silly drivers. Suddenly she is laughing at me and saying “Duck?!” Whoops.

IRONIC

Tonight, I sat in her bed with her, reiterating to her, “no, only 1 book.”

Baby girl held up 3 instead. I was unusually cool for a moment like this, and just stared back at her, still.

“Mama,” she said to my non-response. “Breathe. Mama, BREATHE…”

 

#689 Walk to Work while the World sleeps

One of the best things about working during the normal January school holidays is that EVERYTHING is quieter.

The streets are quieter. Little traffic, you just fly on through to your destination.

Work is breezy. All the hard shit is done and you’re there trying to work out what Shakespeare performance you’re going to watch at the Pop-Up theatre with all your mad google searches.

And generally, there are less people.

I get to work about 7, which doesn’t sound too abnormal, but if I told you I get up at 5am, that sounds abnormal. Nonetheless, there are still people around any other time of year, rain, hail or shine, as I make the 7-10 minute walk over to work from where I park (depending on how cold it is).

But today… NO ONE.

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It was magic. Any other time, the thought of getting up early for a quiet walk sounds too hard as sleep and bed are my best friends, and yet when I am out on my walk in peace and solitude, I LOVE IT.

I observed the moored boats and soft rippling of the water around them, the fresh air that was devoid of any breeze, and the fact that I was the only one walking at that very moment.

It filled my soul.

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The photos do not do it proper justice, but I found clarity and beauty in the scenery around me, and gazed upon the water as the rest of the world, slept…

#648 Award and recognition

I have so much going on right now, that driving into work on a Thursday evening whilst on annual leave was not exactly on my list of priority to-dos.

Battling stupid Monash freeway traffic on the way didn’t help either.

But when I got there, I felt a bit better. I lightened up.

Because it’s not every day you reach a 10 year milestone at your place of employment.

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I never, ever thought I would have been there this long. But somehow, here I am. And more so, I enjoy it. I enjoy going in to work, I enjoy the job, the environment, the people, and let’s not forget the perks…

Moreover, they seem to like me. Respect me, and acknowledge me…

What more could you want from a workplace?

(Why am I writing again? Oh that’s right, PASSION).

Maybe most important, is that bolded word in brackets above – because it’s due to my job, and the fact that I am getting paid in one avenue of life, that’s allowed me to pursue another avenue of life where currently (key word) I am not getting compensated.

Tonight I am in a happy place of reminiscing, feeling accomplished, and curious, though content, about the next phase of my life… wherever that may be.

As long as it includes water. That seems to be a recurring theme for me… 😉

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