#853 Open to the ‘signs’

Call it hilarious. Call it timely. Call it freaky. Call it coincidental.

No, don’t call it coincidental. There are no such things.

But with all of the emphasis I have been placing lately on signs… like the post I wrote last week where the psychic asked me that very telling and bone-chillingly accurate question as if he were reading my mind… then the other day I posted this on Instagram:

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And I was feeling like the world keeps asking me, checking and confirming from me, the very same thing.

And now, like right now. I am doing a late shift at work. I walk into the kitchen to get my dinner ready. I see a lady who is in another department – we don’t see each other often, but when we do, she always wants to hear about baby girl.

And her second question to me, immediately after the one asking how old she is now, is:

“Now I hope you are writing down this stage of life for her – because when it is over, that’s it.”

I smiled, my mind in disbelief. “Yes, I am quite good at recording these things,” I said with a grin.

And then we went on to talk about their grown up phrases, and I told her that baby girl had said to me on my way to work this evening

“Have a good day at work Mum!” and “Take care!” –

the exact two things I was originally going to post about for my gratitude today, my love for her humorous and so grown-up phrases.

Damn. Why do people keep asking me about writing?

I think the Universe is asking, because it wants an answer. It wants to know if I am legit or not.

It wants to know, what I have to say.

#850 Walk like a Shaman

Have you ever felt like you weren’t being heard?

Well, maybe it had to do with the people you were talking to, NOT LISTENING.

We are all predispositioned in our views on the world and our personal opinions, based on the experiences we’ve had, the teachers who have taught us, and the things that moved us into our own a-ha! moments.

We talk and talk and talk. It really only matters though, who you are listening to, and whether they are your kindred spirit. When seeking guidance, advice, help, if you are chalk, and the person you are talking to is cheese, well… it serves to reason that their advice will centre on the dairy, whereas you are looking at a blackboard kind of approach.

You get my drift.

I know that it is beneficial to widen the horizons and look outside the square – this applies to all parts of life, with the region of seeking outside help included. But when you feel like your soul is trying to tell you something, and wherever you go to for help, you can not hear any words of comfort, you can’t see any glimmers of wisdom, and you can’t feel any deeper meaning or connection that makes you think you might finally be in the right hands…

You start second guessing yourself. You start to doubt that inner voice, that quiet yearning tone, and wonder if your soul, is in fact, what you think it is.

You start to listen to the majority.

I depend a lot on my instinct and intuition…

Thank God for that.

Because today I found someone who speaks my language. She not only spoke with comfort, wisdom and meaning, but she actually spoke to my soul, and confirmed to me all my darkest and deepest fears and wishes.

They had been true. I had doubted myself, for nothing.

The feeling of relief and gratitude that I still hold in me from this meeting today, is profound. My soul is light, my head is clear. There is no stopping me now.

The waves of repercussions I am still getting from having met face to face with this amazing human, are still echoing through my body, and I hope they don’t leave… not now, not soon, not EVER.

Today, I met a Shaman.

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Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

#770 Making memories and finding comfort in a topsy-turvy day

I’m not going to lie.

I’m not going to sit here, and tell you my day was great, my day was fantastic, when there were many parts of it, that weren’t.

I can’t just pretend all went well, when all didn’t.

I can’t just focus on the good, because I feel like that would be lying, and I think you would appreciate me telling you the frustrating, shitty parts too. The ‘Life’ parts. The pros, as well as, the cons.

Even with this being a gratitude blog and all.

So in short, let me tell you this:

Today we got to catch up with some of our closest friends for a birthday. It was well overdue (pro).

We drove over 3 hours there and back, and after this weekend, we are OVER driving (con).

We had fun (pro), and we made memories (pro). We danced (pro), the kids played (pro), and baby girl got her leg stuck in the hole of a portable basketball base (con, but a funny one).

I got this cappuccino made for me by our friend (pro)… he is a former café owner and works for a coffee company…

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PRO PRO PRO.

And this day would have truly been perfect, even with all the little cons up to this point, if the highlight of the day were just this: good coffee amidst polaroids of my girl dressed as a cowboy.

But it went on, as days do.

Driving home, Hubbie developed some kind of gastrointestinal infection (CON).

We stopped twice. (CON).

When we got home eventually, the windy weather appeared and started lashing us as we ran for the front door… but we got inside quickly, and I reckon somehow the Universe held it off slightly until we were indoors, only because we had such a sucky ride home (pro).

I ordered pizza because (insert Hubbie incapacitated on couch), and I was so grateful for the convenience of it all… pro – but it took an hour to arrive (maybe because of the wild weather – con).

Before and after said pizza, I sat on the couch with baby girl, me actually watching Bachelor in Paradise in peace, and she watching YouTube videos of dolls playing with toys, as the Wicked Witch of the West flew around on her broomstick outside in this cyclonic wind (pro).

Everyone is in bed now, and Hubbie is feeling better (massive PRO).

I know I am a glass half-full gal, but I wanted to show you both sides of the coin, to prove a point.

We can be aware of both good and bad, happy and sad, positive and negative, pros and cons… because it is all in the greater picture. Seeing the greater picture balances us out, makes us humble, and helps us to appreciate the pros more.

Because if all we had were pros, well the above would have been a very boring (albeit hugely satisfying for me) story.

And every story needs a villain, doesn’t it?

Today’s villain? Driving time, stomach viruses and wind from hell.

Today’s hero? Friends, couch time, and…

COFFEE 🙂

 

 

#717 Blood-y Moon gazing

The streets are eerily quiet. A dog was barking… but then it stopped. It must have observed what everyone out there is looking at tonight.

The MOON.

Tonight is a special event on the Astronomy calendar. A trifecta, lucky 3, three amigos if you will, of the star world are appearing tonight… because we are lucky enough to be witnessing, the Super Blue Blood Moon.

I wish I knew more about astronomy for moments like this. I planned to anyway, when I bought a little star-gazing book over a year ago. However it sits on my shelf with a 1/4 of the other books still unread there. That’s ok. It’s time will come.

So if you are anywhere in Australia, you are at a spectacular vantage point for this – whereby we get a supermoon, a blue moon, and a total eclipse in one.

It is bigger, it is blue/red, and there are shadows – that is about the gist of it I get. Like I said, I haven’t read the star-gazing book yet. But at the beginning of the evening I started off the night looking through all the house windows trying to find the direction of the moon, until I found it looking down on me from a backyard window.

And so now? I find myself in front of this window, blinds up in the darkness, tapping away on my laptop, looking up occasionally to see the bright moon with slight shadows starting to move across it.

It really is magical.

Not the big part, or the blue part, or the shadow part. Yes it does look amazing and blindingly bright, but just the fact that I’m here, taking time out, and chilling behind the window of the yard that is filling with light, exposed to all the possums and cats and insects staring at me through it – that’s OKAY. It’s ok because I am looking up at the sky, at the stars, as are so many other people tonight, and I am reminded that there is a world out there, much bigger and brighter and more fantastical than I could ever imagine.

I then think of the constellations and the galaxy, and us humans in comparison… and we are all but a blimp on the radar, a tiny insignificance, a breath in time compared to what is out there in the great expanse of EVERYTHING.

And suddenly, that makes me all the more grateful for my time here on earth.

But you want a moon photo don’t you?

The progression from my fantastic mobile phone, in pictures:

I really do need to stare up into the sky more.

11:35pm Update: the shadow is almost fully across it! Observe on my fine camera phone photo…

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#710 Secret good news

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Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

My gratitude today comes from the happiness of another.

Because you see, someone pulled me over this afternoon, and said with a broad wave of their hands “I’m pregnant!”

And I stared at her in shock and awe, and ultimate critique, trying to work out if what she was saying was actually true.

“Are you serious?” I squinted at her.

“Yes.”

“You’re not joking?” I asked solemnly.

“No.”

“You’re pregnant?” I was now incredulous.

“Yes.”

I gasped in disbelief and happiness, giving her a big hug and proceeding to say “oh my God,” and “you’ve blown me away” about 100 times through hurried, intense and excited conversation, for the next 10 minutes.

I was in absolute shock and wonder, the epitome of a babbling idiot as I wrangled with my thoughts amongst it all.

“OH MY GOD!”

Because this wasn’t only pregnancy news…

Not only was this friend, pregnant…

But she was a friend, who I didn’t think was trying to get pregnant.

Also, she was a friend, who was in a serious relationship, yet I hadn’t thought pregnancy was in the immediate future for them.

She was a friend, who was also, a work colleague.

And this work colleague, was in a relationship with a man that not many people knew about…

This work colleague and her partner had kept their relationship under wraps, especially at work…

Because her partner, worked with her. With us!

OH THE DRAMA!

I couldn’t take it! I was dying. Can you understand why I was dying?! I had already known about the relationship early on, as she has confided in me many things, just as I have to her over the years, and she was one of the first at work who I told that I was pregnant, all those years ago… and now, she was telling ME.

That she was pregnant. Oh my God.

I was over the moon for her. She deserved it.

No, really. She deserved it.

She really, truly deserved this amazing blessing, because in recent years she had had a few very hard spells.

I had felt for her on so many an occasion, but didn’t know how to help. All I could do, was listen, and try to lend some advice.

And as all good friends do, bitch and whinge and moan with her.

My faith in Karma and life, is further cemented by this news. I don’t know why bad things happen. I don’t know why there are bullies, and aggressors; subsequently I don’t know why there are people who are harassed and victimised. And I certainly don’t understand how when someone turns to you for help, you can turn to the side of evil, and ignore their plea, instead going with the majority, with the laugher, with the mockers and the sheep and the boring old FLOCK.

But this news today… it is a LONG time coming.

My work colleague has been through so much. And this news is just proof to me, that eventually, your deeds catch up to you, whether they be good, or bad.

Her good deeds have paid her dividends. She got herself the guy, and now she got herself a baby 🙂

And for the ‘others?’ There is no greater revenge than success and achievement.

Did she go out to seek retribution, no. But the beautiful thing is, the Universe evened it ALL out for her.

:):):)

#539 Westfield Doncaster shopping day no. 2

Today was a great day, in that the shit we set out to do, well, we got done.

It’s always a successful feeling when you actually go to the shops to buy certain things, and then you actually follow through with said-purchases.

Today’s task, the niggly job of tying up loose ends before baby girl’s upcoming 4th birthday. It’s that crazy time of year where time is of the essence, it is party after party in our family, and maybe the pressure of very little time has spurred us into action and made the Universe take heed, and actually give us what we want on today’s shopping trip.

One of the best and most important purchases, was a white airy-fairy-hippie dress, that only needs some flowers in baby girl’s hair to make her special birthday outfit complete.

She was stoked.

Tick, tick, tick.

 

#225 Falling into place – Kinder

I only put in the late application last night. It had been the first kinder we had visited at our Sea change destination, yet it had made an impact on us – the teachers were warm and friendly, the room was filled with kid-fuelled, inventive and funny nik-naks, and I immediately felt like baby girl would love it there.

However, I felt the need to research some more – surely the first kinder we visited wouldn’t be the right one straight off the bat, could it? I had to be sure.

A few drive-by inspections, and another kinder visit yesterday, told me that often you don’t need to do any further research. Sometimes you should just go with your gut, regardless of what else is out there. We spoke to a lovely lady from another kinder who said that spots were tough to come by at this stage of the game, so I took her kindly advice and applied for the first kinder we had seen.

A phone call this afternoon: baby girl was offered a spot. I happily accepted, then got off the phone to jump up and down with baby girl telling her she was going to be painting to her hearts content next year. Her cheeks were rosy and bright, from being outside all day – in my parents yard, and at the park I had frequented so much as a child. The thought of painting endlessly thrilled her.

Later during her nap, as I was being appreciative of how easy it had been in the kindergarten application process, a song came into my head. As I hung her clothes to dry on the inside clothes rack, I smiled as the words filtered through:

Que Sera, Sera

Whatever will be, will be

The future’s not ours to see

Que Sera, Sera

I used to find a strong affinity with the song as a child. Dreaming, imagining, wondering what my future would hold. I would hum the words to myself as I played in the park, thinking deep thoughts that I’m not sure a normal 9 year old would think.

Who would I marry?

What would I become?

How would my children be like?

What would I do?

Being a naturally inquisitive person, the questions posed in the song (will I be famous, will I be rich, here’s what she said to me) reflected my own curiosities and doubts, fears and wonders over life and what would come in the future. But in the end, no matter how much I wanted to know, anything, the words of the song rang truer still:

The future’s not ours to see.

Funny how things work out? Today as I remembered the lyrics:

Now I have children of my own,

They ask their mother, what will they be?

As we are on the verge of so many life-changes, with moving house, moving lifestyle, and now our baby girl going to start kindergarten next year, I wonder what her questions will be? What will I tell her? Will I be honest, or will I put on my rose-coloured glasses and paint the world a vibrant rainbow?

I’ve always swayed heavily between two lines of thinking, two ways that are directly opposite one another and yet BOTH that I believe to be true.

  1. There are things that are ‘meant to be’ in life
  2. We control our actions and our futures

They are highly contradictory thoughts, and yet some things in our life I believe we can’t escape, yet simultaneously I believe we can do what we want to do…

I’ve always imagined having a beach house, but it was always just a silly fantasy, wishful thinking. I never really put any kind of plan or action into it, ’til the start of this year. And in very little time, we made a purchase, and are now moving.

So did we make that happen, or was that meant to happen?

All my beach house, silly references throughout life… was that me attracting the beach house to ourselves the whole time?

Or was that meant to be, and the Universe was throwing me snippets of our future forecast before it happened?

I still don’t know, and I don’t know what I’ll be telling baby girl in years to come. I think I’ll be realistic, yet I’ll inject a good dose of romanticism and wishful thinking, because you know, as I say to her:

Reach high for the stars, and follow your dreams. You can achieve whatever you wish for.

I honestly don’t think that that line of thinking could harm anyone.

I am grateful that so far, things are going smoothly, and this kindergarten process has gotten off without a hitch… almost like it was meant to be.

But, ‘whatever will be, will be.’