#1904 Looking back in time

Life has been so busy lately. So busy, that we’ve forgotten a lot of who we are.

May has come around too fast. And another Monday, come and gone.

It was only last week when I went “damn. That came fast.”

Our ‘special’ day.

Not having the time to celebrate when you’re ‘meant to’ does not mean jack.

Take the commercial days, of Valentine’s Day, hell even throw in Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.

They’re all the same.

We’re told as a society that we have to do something, we must do something to celebrate it, show off for social media, friends and family…

It is lovely to celebrate, appreciate loved ones in our life, and I’m not saying that I don’t do it, personally…

But you should celebrate your special people, ALL THE DAYS of your life. Not just when the catalogues and ads tell you too.

Same as for other days.

Days like, an anniversary. 💖💖

Our anniversary fell on a Monday this year. Work, school, swimming, groceries, phone calls, emails, basketball game, routine routine routine… it was all too much. It was a fairly uneventful day, and that’s ok, because we share our love for each other on other days, in other ways, and it doesn’t really matter if it’s not on this EXACT day.

I’m not trying to convince myself, honest. 😂 In fact, we are going out tomorrow night, and going away for a couple of nights soon too.

Let there be love on all the days. Let there be hugs, kisses, displays of affection, cards and presents, snuggles and all kinds of lovey-dovey things, on all the days.

Not just when it is deemed special, by society, by milestone, or by date.

I had a really lovely night… sans Hubbie. He was out playing basketball.

Baby girl and I had dinner together, then we sat on the couch and she read school books to me.

Then we watched Masterchef, and we never watch Masterchef. 😂

Hubbie came home, and then eventually we sat on the couch as a family, to do one special thing together, something small to highlight our ‘special’ day…

We looked through our official photos. 😍

Baby girl and I put on the special photo gloves, and she helped me leaf through the pages, as we all reminisced, and she learnt and discovered.

And I couldn’t have thought of a better way to end the night.

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

12.

#1879 ‘Yes’ for school holidays

I love school holidays, because baby girl’s routine goes out the window.

It would be better if I also had holidays, because then it would be double the fun.

And if Hubbie actually had holidays, it would be triple the fun.

But, we gotta work.

It turns out though that I actually have lined up in front of me now 3 days off… so we are totally double-troubling it these next few days. 😁

Everything becomes easier. Everything becomes YES.

“Wanna go to the park?” YES.

“Wanna go to another park?” YES.

“Want to swing high and almost flip over the bar?” YES.

“Want to climb way too high?”

YES.

“Want that bun even though dinner is half an hour away?” YES.

“Wanna dance in the kitchen going crazy screaming our lungs out to Queen after dinner?”

Oh wait, we do that already… 😏ðŸĪĢ

#1810 Weird but beautiful gloom

I found joy in a really simple thing today.

I had just made myself a tea. It was raining outside, no wind. So it was the type of rain that I liked… already a plus. 😊

The steam from the tea rose up past my monitor as I sat back down at my work desk.

I lit a candle, and watched the area around me, GLOW.

And with it, so did my heart.

Suddenly I was happy.

I was grateful for this feeling. I had been counting all the things I wasn’t happy about, for weeks now… so this simple act and subsequent feeling came as a pleasant and heartwarming surprise.

All from steam rising.

A candle wick glowing.

Rain falling.

So so gloomy… yet I felt anything but.

Allow yourself to be surprised by the little things.

#1809 Reflections on numbers

We went 3 different ways today. Hubbie and I at our respective places of employment, baby girl at school.

Ahh. Grade 2 has begun.

Where has the last 2 years of primary school go? How is this the 3rd year already? How am I becoming a well known feature at the school, watching the oh-so-obvious new kids and parents step tentatively through the gates?

Grade 2 was such a good year for me. I had one of my best teachers then.

Actually, I had her twice. In grade 2 and in grade 5.

I was in room 16. One of my favourite numbers.

I look at baby girl now, and hope her grade 2 year is just as great as mine was, and brings her even more good times and memories.

Actually, I wish all her years were like grade 2.

Here we go again.

#1806 Easing back into work

Today Hubbie and I went back to work.

You know what the best part of it was though?

Knowing I have the next 2 days off!

1 day on, 2 days off…

Tee hee hee.

But, wait for it, you know what’s even better?

Finding out today that Hubbie also has the next 2 days off!

1 day on, 2 days off!

And baby girl’s not back ’til Thursday!

But hold on, she’s been on holiday for 5 weeks now… ðŸĪ”

Never mind. Mini family time again… holidays aren’t over, not quite yet. 😁😁âĪâĪ

#1767 To start and end the day

I calculate that Hubbie and I lost 3 and a half months of ‘coffee Wednesdays’ due to covid.

2021 owes us.

This was our first coffee today, but also, our last one together, solo together, for the year!

WAAA! And,

YAY!

Sad the solo ‘us time’ ends (for now) but so glad that holidays are almost here.

COUNTDOWN.

And yet the holiday vibe, the gatherings are already well and truly beginning. Hubbie had his work get together tonight, and after we dropped him off, I was like –

“I ain’t cooking tonight!”

So baby girl and I got the ultimate in junk food…

YEP. You guessed it.

THE BIG M.

You don’t need a pic, you know how it looks…

Oh stuff it.

Ha ha. Just as surely as we know what McDonalds is all about, just as surely I felt a bit sick after eating it.

Yep. My body just isn’t used to it anymore, which is a good thing.

But… but today was all about letting go, going with the flow, and just letting things slide…

You really do need to let things SLIDE during Christmas time, don’t you?

🎄🎅

#1736 Day 238 of getting there: the IKEA chair

Like Roger Taylor from Queen, in the 1975 famed album ‘A Night at the Opera’ who sings “I’m in love with my car…”

I’m in love with my chair!

Yes, A CHAIR. And before you think ‘she’s gone mad,’ this is a desk chair.

I’ve been working from home since March.

Using a stiff, un-desk, un-suitable dining room chair with blankets on the seat to bring me to desk height.

Yes. I’m in love with my new, functional, appropriate, desk chair.

I found the chair I wanted online months ago, but every time I went to order it, I was told it would take a month and a half for two parts to arrive…

There were two parts to the chair, and I just didn’t get why?

I couldn’t collect it either, because it was out of my km area. And every time I checked online, to see if by chance it might get delivered sooner…

It took later, and later.

For example, in July, it said September.

In August, it said October.

In September, it said November.

Last week, it said DECEMBER 17.

I was OVER it. And knowing I was going to be in the vicinity of an IKEA yesterday, I hopped on over with baby girl in tow.

Tired. Hungry. Hot. In a rush.

A real good mix for an IKEA visit, right? ðŸĪĢ

But somehow, we did it. Baby girl was awesome. We found the chair, I found help, and then we proceeded to try get out of the maze that is IKEA.

OMG. I am convinced, escape routes aka escape chutes are required in that place. Why must I walk through every single room and area when I’m in a rush and need to get to the registers, like pronto?

Each room/area needs like an escape point, something that propels us immediately to the exit area. Something like this:

Or this:

Either will do. I was flying around corners, saying to baby girl “what is this maze?” while she laughed her head off at me.

What were the two parts for? Well the chair can come with armrests… but they’re out of stock.

Was that it? I spent all this time waiting for armrests, while using a dining room chair padded with blankets instead???

Stuff that.

But after all the running around, today Hubbie pretty much single-handedly built it for me, and I am loving it.

You know who else is loving it? Baby girl. This is her at my desk, on her iPad, pretty much proclaiming the chair and entire space as hers.

I am actually looking forward to work tomorrow, because of that chair.

I am in love.

And going through the IKEA catalogue today, I feel like our house could seriously become an IKEA house. We already have a few key items, but soon we’ll be taking people through our house going –

“And that’s IKEA, and that, and that, and that” –

Pointing every which way like:

Yep.

#1685 Day 187 of getting there: video calls

I think we’re all so grateful for video calls right now.

I see my work mates over zoom, every shift at midday. Like today. We play games, there are laughs, but most of all there is connection.

And I don’t mean the technological kind.

I had that work zoom chat today… then Mum called me in the afternoon… via video chat!

Her face when she saw me, then I turned it on baby girl…

Priceless. 😍

And tonight. The regular Friday night friends catch-up.

I don’t know where I would be without these video calls. No matter who it is, I am staying connected with everyone, and it is my saviour. 🙏

Photo by Ekaterina Bolovtsova on Pexels.com

#1668 Day 170 of getting there: finding humour in the school day

Today it’s a much lighter topic.

I think I’m about to give baby girl’s teacher a reason to laugh, so I think that is pretty cool.

When you can offer someone happiness, even in the form of laughs… well that’s good, right?

It was late into the evening, and baby girl still had one school task left to do. It was after dinner, and I opened my laptop to open the maths video on ‘Mass.’

We both watched it, and her job was to then find 6 items from within the house, and line them up first from smallest to largest… then lightest to heaviest.

So I said “go on, find some things.”

She went around picking up things, here, and there… and then she brought one item in from the kitchen.

And I paused.

“Uh…”

I paused again.

“I don’t know if I want your teacher to see that!”

I paused again, thinking hard. “Stuff it. Leave it.”

Here’s her arrangement of smallest to largest. See if you can pick what I was talking about:

LOL. That empty wine bottle. EMPTY wine bottle! At first I was like “what will she think? That I’m an alcoholic?”

🍷🍷ðŸĪŠðŸĪŠðŸ˜œðŸ˜œðŸ·ðŸ·

But then I was like, so what?

I am working and homeschooling FROM HOME, damn hell I need a wine!

It’s not like I drank it all in one night… it’s actually been getting lower over two weeks, so little is my wine consumption lately.

But my reasons were five-fold.

Tomorrow I have the day off work.

Tuesdays are a bit of a Saturday night in our house with Hubbie off too on Wednesdays.

Fuck it, I just wanted to.

Life is short. Read yesterday’s post.

I like wine. Duh.

As much as I was like “damn baby girl’s teacher is gonna share this photo around with all the other teachers!” the other part of me was thinking it’d be a nice little, real representation of life at the moment…

That they are still allowed to laugh about. LOL. Even I am.

Can you just imagine the stuff teachers see, hear, and are exposed to? Who knows what your child has said to them, about you??? ðŸ˜ŪðŸ˜ŪðŸ˜ŪðŸ˜ēðŸ˜ēðŸ˜ē

#1626 Day 128 of getting there: the yin to my yang

I’ve been trying to cultivate more yin in my life lately.

Living in the world we’re in, it ain’t easy. Especially these days. There is so much pressure on women, put on by no one but themselves.

She is all YANG.

She has to do everything.

She has to be as good as, or better than her male counterparts.

She is meant to be a wife and career woman, while also being a stay-at-home Mum, pursuing her passions in all her free moments, and dedicating her weekends to long walks/jogs, cooking healthy in bulk to set her up for the week, all while looking immaculate with her clothes ALWAYS laundered.

It is TOO MUCH.

There is no calm. There is no ease. It is go-go-go.

25 items on your to-do list, and as you’re ticking one off, off you go rushing into the next one.

There is no present moment. Things are too fast.

There is so much doing. There is so much aggression.

There is SO MUCH.

It was easier back in the cavemen era. Stay with me. Biologically, the man is the hunter, and the woman is the gatherer. She would stay at the cave with her offspring, and the man would go off in search of food.

But I mentioned biology? Well think about it. A man’s genitals are on the outside… if he was speared or harmed, his little men would just regenerate in a few months.

A women’s genitals are on the inside… what we are born with, WE ARE BORN WITH.

That’s it.

We were biologically made to stay protected.

The man was active.

The woman was passive.

Now we are all bloody ACTIVE.

None of this is to suggest that a woman is not meant to, or is not capable or achieving anything that a man can. We can do all that and more.

But finding that fine balance between the active, aggressive, go-go-go yang power, and looking instead for our innate inner feminine, calm, receptive, yin energy… that’s something I am working on.

I think in some way all us women are.

Look at this virus. Like, so many women I know are happy to have slowed down. Our biology tells us we go too fast, too hard, and do too much, and yet it takes the entire world practically shutting down to make us think, “huh. Maybe we were doing things all wrong.”

I diverge, I babble too much.

But today, it happened. I went way too YANG.

It happened during the first lockdown. Working from home, home-schooling… it all got too much for me, and many a time I found myself breaking down.

My first breakdown of this second lockdown happened today.

I was shitty, fuming, pacing around the kitchen like a caged animal.

Taking these loud guttural breaths, not yoga-like AT ALL.

Trying my damn-dest to not cry and have the well burst out of me.

I was trying so hard to not let things overwhelm me, but they were. I had a couple of realisations this week, and suddenly, everything was happening at once.

I had to do everything at once.

But I couldn’t do everything at once!

Finally, I spoke up. I started talking to Hubbie… and my yin appeared.

In, him.

He was at ease. He was calm. He let me stop erupting, and when I was done he put it in perspective. We worked out what I had to do. What I definitely didn’t have to do. And he reminded me that this worldwide virus, was shit. It was screwing with everyone’s lives, some more than others, some more seriously than others…

So some things, in the scheme of things, could wait.

Ohhhhhh.

The weight that lifted off me… Here I had been, trying to make all these things happen…

When I had to let go. Just let things happen.

Remind myself of my inner yin, that part of me that longed for the slow-down, quiet, the receptive nature of life that we have all forgotten.

But in times where we forget… I was so lucky to have someone to remind me.

Hubbie 🙂

Sometimes I am his yin, sometimes he is mine…

And just like that, his yin, became mine again.

But let’s not forget… it’s yin, AND yang for a reason.

It’s all about balance.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com