I would bottle the feeling of leaning forward, and how you push forward with me as if you are trying to break through my skin.
If I could…
I would bottle the feeling when I walk, and I feel you move and shift inside me, throwing me off balance and making me move slow.
If I could…
I would bottle the feeling of your hiccups, and how when they jump out at me low and deep, my whole tummy moves, a quick left to right in each jump.
I would bottle all of this, because I know, soon it will all be over.
And that will be that. I won’t feel you within me, moving about, wondering if you like what I just ate and just what it is about fruit that gets you going so?
Instead, I’ll be able to hold you.
Settle your hiccups in my arms.
Watch your face as you try something different.
Listen out for your movements and discover what it is that you like to do.
I’m looking forward to meeting you… but I’ll never forget this beautiful, brief moment in time.
I have been missing our regular Wednesday brunch spot during the holidays, so it felt really good to be back with Hubbie today, doing what we do best… drinking coffee, eating good food, and talking life. 😁💖
And to think… today may have been the last Wednesday we are there as a duo… next time, there might be an extra one under our wings! 🤰🙏🥰💞
In fact, I am all for it happening as soon as possible. With the amount of prodding and poking from baby, and gasping and lying down from me, I am definitely at that stage to say –
Baby girl was so excited for the start back at school today. I usually get her up for school, but this time she found me upstairs, brushing my teeth, happily telling me she would not go back to bed – she was just too excited!
It warmed my heart. My girl needs focus, something to do, to look towards. That is just her character. She’s in grade 4 and she loves learning, coming home and telling us things (but it has to be on her terms, if we ask too much she closes up) and randomly telling us tidbits of things she’s seen and heard, whether it’s been from school or somewhere else.
I can see her growing, learning, maturing, before my very eyes. I catch these moments and try to hold onto them, bottle them for future use so that I can call back upon them when I need. 🙏
Something else growing? My belly. For some comic relief, here was the state of my bladder and pelvis today…
Yep. Under pressure! Today must have been one of those growth spurts for baby, because I was in Struggle Street big time. Struggling to move, walk, do much of anything really.
Or if it wasn’t a growth spurt, maybe it’s baby getting ready and rehearsing for their main appearance, the big reveal… 🥰🤰
Ok, so it wasn’t like it was literally my last supper… but we went out to a restaurant locally tonight, and it was something that I really wanted to do, because, well, like…
Baby could come at like ANY time of day now.
So we sat. We ate. We drank (water for me!) And we took it all in. 🥰
I had this gnocchi, and it was absolutely amazing. I am content. 🙏💖
Life is going to change very quickly for us all soon, and it occurred to me that it was imperative to capture a very important stage of life, about a very important person.
Baby girl. 🥰💞
My sunshine, my light, my angel. The one who without I wouldn’t have made it as well through so, so many days. I am convinced that God gave her to us, knowing the hardships that would lie ahead, knowing that she would be my guiding light in those very tough times. 🙏
She has grown physically and emotionally over the past couple of months. She is tall. Everyone asks how tall her Dad is if they don’t know him, and I tell them that I too was tall at her age… the tallest in my class! She is tall and thin and does gymnastics, and her hand stands and cartwheels are actually very good. I never was good at any of that, so I marvel at her physicality. 🥰
She has my facial features, my height from that age, but she has Hubbie’s physique. She is strong, she is cheeky, and she is STUBBORN. But then again, so are Hubbie and I, so we have a good few battles around the house, let me tell you.
She knows EVERYTHING. 🤦♀️ She knows stuff that I’ve known for decades, and yet she has learnt in the last day or two about it and knows more… she was trying to teach me about tennis, until I had to point out she was wrong, and then she went “oh.” 🤦♀️
She is a fighter. I hope she fights for what is right, and fights for her opinion, as much as she fights me on issues she doesn’t know much about. 😂
She has the kindest heart. She will do things for you, help you, run to your aid. She has been amazing during my pregnancy. She helps me with grocery shopping and picks out the cucumbers, sweet potatoes, broccoli, even pushed the trolley.
When I’m upset, her mothering, already big-sister nurturing kicks in. She tells me it will be ok, in a soothing, calm voice. Whether I’m upset at the trivial, losing for the 5th time straight in Nintendo Mario Kart, or upset about something more serious in life, she is there to hug me, tell me “there there” and say it will be alright. 💞
She uses “mate” a lot lately, “mate, you gotta see how…” and “bruh.” I used to tease her, but now I just let it go. I find it cute, a part of her personality she is testing out, seeing how it feels.
She loves school. But she loves sleep. Let’s see how Monday goes. 😂 But I honestly do think she needs to be busy, do things, and have a purpose, so in school she thrives.
She has a reading program. Several times a day she will go in her room, close the door, and read a book out loud to her toys. After asking me for a new chapter book, I managed to fish out of an old box my Sweet Valley Twins books. She’s started reading one, and likes it! WOW. From one generation to the next.
She has the best laugh. When she cracks up, I can’t help but join in.
She is a thinker. She questions everything.
She has inherited our quality of being hard on ourselves, which I hate. I try to be easy, tell her it’s ok to make mistakes… I want to try to stop that self-bashing that we do so often, so unnecessarily.
She is the most loving big sister already. So gentle, so soft. She comes up to me and pats my belly, says “hi baby,” and looks up at me adoringly. OH MY GOD. 😍
She is 9, going on 19. Our current discussions are usually about:
“What are we doing today?”
“I want a Ford Ranger when I’m older so I can put my dogs in the back and take them with me everywhere.” (Awwww! 🥰)
“I want a YouTube account by 10, an iPhone by 12, and a TikTok account by 12.”
“Nature is my passion.”
She is the sweetest, funniest, most entertaining girl, and I hope she keeps nurturing her passions and herself, growing into the amazing young woman I know she will become. 🙏💞🥰😍
It can be boring. Stressful. Anxiety-producing even.
But you just gotta get through it.
I’m trying my best to stay close to home… as you just don’t know. Today was one of those days where I didn’t care much for many things, either than doing stuff around the house, tidying, nesting, you know.
But I had plans for baby girl and me this afternoon. After getting some baby items (it feels never-ending) we went to the Main Street for some coffee and ice cream.
Waiting it out with ice cream isn’t a bad place to be.
Maybe when baby has enough ice cream, they won’t want to wait anymore. 🤷♀️😂
I guess I’ve been very caught up in more pressing matters. 🤰But tonight I saw this sky, and I just loved the spotted purple clouds, reminiscent of faraway places and kingdoms where dreams and fairy tales come true on the daily, the immediate blue of the sky making way for the colours to turn to lilac, then pink, then peach… and then the horizon of a deep purple ocean.
It really did look like a fantasy. Then I realised, it was, and it was real. I was seeing it with my own eyes.
Those fantasies and dreams are as true in real life as they are in the fairy tales.
Ok, enough with the anonymity. It’s about time I show you my face…
Mask. 😂
I bought these coffee and charcoal face masks from the Rachael Finch range, way before I fell pregnant, so it’s been at least a year they’ve been in my house that I HAVEN’T used them.
I figured, if it’s taking me so long to use them when I am pre-baby, imagine how much less time I’ll have for them once baby arrives…
It’s not even like there is much work involved, but it’s doing something that is out of practice, or out of your usual routine that makes it hard. Even though it isn’t.
It took me all of one minute to mix it up…
A couple more minutes to apply to my face…
10 minutes of lying there and meditating/visualising peacefully with said mask.
Then another good five minutes to get it off (it hardened well!)
So like, 20 minutes in total really!
It was a wonderful idea, and something I will definitely try to inject more time for, even when baby is here, now that I know how achievable (and short a time) it really is.
I just better make sure I don’t apply the mask and then attend to baby. You know… poor thing might get a shock or something.
carcrashgratitude 