#1642 Day 144 of getting there: Happy August Memories

Today, I did some washing. Hung it in our backyard.

I baked some muffins. Scents of banana and cocoa filled the walls within our home.

I ripped out old plants and dying branches from flowers that desperately needed a good prune. I tidied it up…

To make our home look more pretty.

And it was all the more convenient and timely, that I did these random, but interconnected odd jobs, as the theme unifying it all was that of the home.

Tending to the home.

Using the home.

Filling up the home.

Because on this day 4 years, we bought this home.

I made the winning bid. When I think of that day, I have to shake my head in disbelief sometimes. It was 4 years ago, but many parts of that day are still so clear to me, even now.

I remember the well wishes I received the morning of the auction by some amazing family and friends.

I remember driving up with my Mum and baby girl… and being so nervous, that both Mum and I had to stop at a servo to pee on the way.

I remember arriving 15 minutes into the inspection before auction. I remember the street being FULL of cars. I remember nosy neighbours walking off, having had enough of a sticky beak, not caring to see who would get the house.

I remember NOT ONE auctioneer approaching me as I wandered through the house for the final time before the dum dum daaaa! moment.

I remembered my sister seeing the view from upstairs and saying “it’s a great house” but saying it in a way like “shit, it will be competitive.”

I remember my bro-in-law saying similar words, saying he’d overheard a lot of interested parties talking about it.

I remember all of us standing outside in the front yard, with the strong Winter wind blowing around.

I remember baby girl running around the yard as the main auctioneer started his spiel, referring to her in his opening monologue.

I knew then, that that was a GOOD SIGN.

I remember him motioning to the water views behind us, while I secretly cursed him – “don’t remind them of the views!”

I remember him saying that the winning person could celebrate on the main street afterwards at one of the many cafes, and the desire was so strong in me then, because we had been to those cafes and those restaurants. We had walked those streets, we had holidayed here, and we had done our research.

We were ready.

I remember the auction beginning, and Mum standing near baby girl, watching her run around while mumbling under her breath that the price was going too high.

I remember my sister positioned closer to the nature strip, creating a barrier so that baby girl couldn’t escape.

And I remember my bro-in-law standing behind me, ready to whisper words of advice.

I remember staying quiet for a long time.

I remember the TOTAL SATISFACTION (this is SO clear to me) when I put up my hand, and made my first bid.

The auctioneer looked at me, and his expression conveyed something else.

I had come in later. He knew I meant business.

And I remember how when I made the second, third bid, one of the agents made a beeline to me, thinking he could now help me.

Huh. Where were you guys INSIDE the house?

I had my own agent behind me 😉

I remember holding that winning bid… and the auctioneer urging others to jump in… while I begged in my head “please no, just let it be over…”

Then, IT WAS OVER.

There was clapping. There was cheering. People around me were genuinely happy.

And we were over the moon!

Inside, a familiar face! I saw the agent I had been talking to leading up to that day… He had been hiding out with the owners, of course.

I signed contracts with shaky hands, and snapped a photo of the interior, with the price tag, to Hubbie.

HE WAS OVER THE MOON.

After celebratory photos with the auction board, we headed to the main street.

Mum, sis, baby girl and I had our celebratory coffees and treats.

And when we got home hours later, Hubbie was on cloud nine.

I remember all this so fondly, and I don’t think I can ever forget such a momentous day for us.

A day where we realised our big dream of sea changing, a day when we made it.

And so when baby girl snapped a sunset from my phone this evening (I’ve trained her well) I didn’t think much of it…

‘Til I previewed it later.

It was blurry. Much like a memory can be. But there was that lawn. I could still see that sign in my head.

The guy who was standing to the left of me… the two ladies on my right. The family of four who I thought of often, comprised of a couple with their two young girls, who walked off half-way through the auction…

I hope they found their dream house, just as we found ours.

Now there were different plants, different colours, and different people coming in and out…

And 4 years on, there’s no place we’d rather be. 💖🏡🌅🥰

#1639 Day 141 of getting there: blinded by the balcony light

There’s nothing quite like counteracting the dark…

With light.

Inside…

With outside.

Still air…

With fresh air.

Work…

With NO WORK.

After I finished my shift today baby girl and I headed upstairs to enjoy our coffee break on the balcony. The sun shone right into my eyes, so much so that I could barely see…

But I didn’t care.

I had the bay. I had coffee. I had sunshine.

I had baby girl.

We had August. We still have it, no matter what the world does or says.

It’s still ours.

And we sat there, surrounded by crisp air and blinding sunshine, taking it all in… 💖

#1631 Day 133 of getting there: happy for 6 more weeks

It sounds ridiculous, but…

I was actually excited about the stage 4 restrictions imposed today.

EXCITED. Wow. I never would have thought that weeks ago, I’d be happy to be in even further lockdown, and over my birthday month period out of all times!

But I am. I am more than happy to sacrifice my birthday this year, so that people actually get their act together.

I am more than happy to sacrifice, because honestly, being with my family and friends, HEALTHY, and being able to see them this year, means more to me, than going through what we were going through up until Christmas, or God knows when.

People not listening. Arguing with authority. Claiming personal rights, freedom!

Freedom to what, die?

Are your beliefs that strong, that stubborn, that important, that you are willing to risk endangering your family members lives over people like you not adhering to the rules?

You are willing for them to die over incompetent idiots such as yourselves?

I AM NOT. I am not willing to do that. Watching the so-called enlightened ones on social media is absolutely frustrating, because I find it insane on a whole other-worldly level, that this is a conspiracy, and the whole world, really, the WHOLE WORLD, are in on it.

Sit with that for a second. That insane, impossible concept, if you are such an enlightened one too. Go on.

I’ve refrained until now. And now is when I say – GOOD.

Good, that we are getting further lockdown.

So, that’s where I’m at. Happy. Relieved. Actually planning what other home jobs I can do in that time…

And hopeful that it will be over soon, and we can throw a belated birthday party. 🙂

Because it’s never too late. 😉

#1621 Day 123 of getting there: finding the roar in my words

It wasn’t a surprise to me this morning, when a friend reminded me it was now officially, the season of the lion.

The Leo horoscope, was upon us.

Only it wasn’t really a reminder to me. I wait for the changeover to this feline month, and the last month of Winter, not just because I love cats and hate the cold, but mainly for the fact that it’s my birthday month, and a celebration month for A LOT of my family.

But, things are a bit different this year. It’s guaranteed there will be none of the usual birthday hoo-ha’s this August, and so for the last little while, I’ve turned my attention elsewhere.

Well, it IS always there… I’m just really engaging all of my energies into it.

Photo by Negative Space on Pexels.com

It’s a scary place to be. Putting yourself out there, exposing your passions and insecurities right there on paper/word doc/social media…

Allowing people into your mind, your heart, your soul. But it’s what I love, and so a part of me must be masochistic, because I keep doing what terrifies me most, inching forward increment by increment, hoping to God that everything stays smooth.

Everything keeps sailing.

I took a bit of a leap recently. I joined a local writer’s group. It’s no basement-budget style catch up either – it’s a proper, paid, yearly membership, where you immerse yourself with other like-minded, passionate writerly types as yourself.

Today I joined the closed facebook group for the club… and you know, it felt SO GOOD. I was kinda terrified of putting myself out there, as is normal since writing is uber-important to me, but I did what I’ve been doing all this year it seems… and pushed past the fear.

“What’s the big deal?”

“Why are you so scared?”

“Stop over dramatising!”

All very valid thoughts you might be thinking, I get it.

But imposter syndrome is a real thing, and trying to push past the self-doubts, the questions as to why you’re there, the fear of rejection or denial, of discovering you’re actually shit… all of those things are genuine fears that keep people from doing what they should be doing.

From pursuing their dreams.

But the thing to understand is, these self-doubts we all experience are completely normal, to some degree. We all have them, we all feel them at some point or another, and as long as they’re not physically or mentally debilitating to our psyche, if we learn to accept them and push past them anyway…

Guess what we’ve just done?

ROARED!

Photo by Frans Van Heerden on Pexels.com

I actually came across a lovely quote today, quite indicative of the step I took:

“Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.” – Brendan Francis Behan.

And how convenient, that we are talking about all of this courage, at this particular month…

During this particular season.

Try to channel the lion in you, and take a step closer to what you most love to do.

To the person that you most want to be.

Go on, do as I did. ROAR.

#1295 Sunday surprises

It’s a lot nicer when you don’t expect anything, and then the opposite occurs.

Something. We were happily bound to our home for the day, Sunday, the first day of Spring (yippee!) and also, Father’s Day.

Baby girl had happily helped her Dad open up his presents after our late morning breakfast, still on a high from the night before yet feeling the lack of sleep, when I got word, that our quiet day might be different.

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I had seen my Dad at my bro-in-law’s birthday the night before after all… I had seen my whole family. 

But then I heard my Mum and Dad were going to my sister’s place for a quick visit, and so then we might as well pop on by…

And what started as a very non-expectant day, had us around a table talking, laughing, and then watching the rain pour down later when the clouds decided to merge overhead.

It didn’t affect the sunset though. Just as I had been longing for Winter to be over, just as quickly it came to an end… and this seems to happen every year. June, July and the start of August feel so long, then mine and baby girl’s birthday passes and it no time – BANG!

Spring. Sunshine. Sunsets like this:

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And so the message really is… don’t expect anything. Things are that much sweeter when you think of not much at all…

#1293 We made it! 2019 edition

Peeps… I am calling it.

WINTER IS OVER!

Who cares that today it’s August 30th, and that technically means 2 more days of Winter…

Who cares. (rhetorical question).

I sure don’t (but I’ll answer anyway) because Winter is pretty much done and dusted.

I am sad about August, only because the month is so full of love and laughter and good times what with our million and one birthdays.

But Winter… I am happy to see the back of YOU.

Ahh. Just, ahh. What a beautiful feeling to know we are on the cusp of continuous warm weather and sunshine-y days…

Yes ok. I know this is Melbourne we are talking about and there may just be a hailstorm next week.

But then, it will be Spring. And still, you just know, things have to get better.

(Things have to get better!)

They already have! Today for instance! Glorious!

I took shots as the sun went down, and the emotions that were summed up were blissful, warm and happy.

Ahhh. 

Tomorrow it is meant to be EVEN better. 3 degrees warmer! WOO HOO!

High on sunshine right now :):):)

#1270 Books where they should be

Today furniture was moved around.

Hubbie went to task putting some flat packs together while I blew my nose incessantly, sneezed when some stray dust blew my way from the open Ikea packages, and hurriedly drank lemon and honey tea in between holding the instruction book open and pointing at what Hubbie should do next.

Sneeze.

Sniffle.

Sigh.

And after all the arranging of new furniture, and re-shuffling of old, I am pleased to report…

Bibliophiles, the books are back.

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I lost my bookshelf a long while ago to baby girl’s toys… it wasn’t even her fault, it was entirely my own suggestion. And in this massive re-arranging, my books went in various, not very nice places all around the house.

It was not ideal.

But today, they are back where they began… and the shelf is entirely for me! (except for that cassette player for Hubbie, temporary though!;)) Looking at it makes me so happy, and also, almost, made me forget about my flu…

Until I re-shuffled some books and dust got to me and I sneezed.

But the books. Ohhh, the books. I have little section left at the bottom to assure myself, I am allowed to buy more books…

After all, it IS birthday month. 😉

#1268 Two steps forward, one step back

A little bit different and backwards to the Paula Abdul and random cat song, Opposites Attract…

“I take, two steps forward, I take two steps back…”

But that is what we are here, we are different. Good for some… not so for others.

Good for baby girl, because she had two bits of good news today… she moved two steps forward. Firstly she moved up a word group level at school, already so soon after having moved up not so long ago, so she was stoked, as were we.

And then after school she moved forward again, when she was at swimming and moved up to another swimming group! She had been getting tested by the walking swimmer-all-overseer, and when the woman bobbed down to tell her the good news, after having watched her give her all, diving like a fish, kicking like a kangaroo and putting everything she had into doing an olympic time across the swim lane, baby girl yelled “YIPPEE!” before doing a massive splash into the shallow end.

I knew what was going on before the woman came over to tell me.

I was so happy for her. I still am. She is heading into the BIG POOL.

Dum da dum dum.

But I am sad for myself because it is August and I am sick! Sick.

“I take two steps back…

More like ‘one’ step. WAAAA.

But you know what? Like all of Motherly sacrifices, I would rather it be her, than me…

It’s still crap. I am just hoping like the song goes…

“But when we get together it just all works out.”

 

#1257 The month of the Roar

I honestly had forgotten. It had completely slipped my mind.

Until I saw it was my cousin’s birthday on social media… I hadn’t realised.

Hadn’t realised, the month of the Lion had begun.

ROAR!

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Photo by Jonatan Pie on Unsplash

And not only had I forgotten, but I had failed to remember for a couple of days already…

The sign of the lion started on the 23rd of July.

(Face palm).

How could I forget one of the most exciting times of the year???

I feel things heating up already… take that as you will 😉