#504 Work ‘break’

This ain’t the type of work break you’re thinking of.

You immediately thought I was grateful for getting a break from work, right?

WRONG.

I am so grateful today, that I was able to get a break, by going to work.

Yep. I’m hitting the gratitude game hard when I’m thankful for work on a Sunday. Let me explain.

I mentioned that yesterday was a difficult day for me. I was flat, lowly, and in my trakkies all day, having only left the house to walk down the driveway and wave off my sister in the late afternoon.

I was also physically unwell. I was really keen for it all to be over soon.

Soon came when I woke up at 5:30 this Sunday morning.

And I was ok. I was happy, even. I questioned myself at several moments throughout the work day, and realised that despite how low I had gotten yesterday, NOW I was actually quite, alright.

I felt really good actually.

How had this come about? Clarity? Hindsight? I can’t even put it down to a good night’s sleep, because baby girl woke me once throughout the night, I was struggling with too many covers at another point, and in total I probably had about 5 and a half hours of shut-eye.

Then I realised.

It was DISTANCE.

I had removed myself from the place where I had been so upset – our haven, our home, our security – and in doing so, stepped away and out of the problem.

Doing so made me feel fresh and bright-eyed again. The problem was still there. But now I could deal with it and take the steps necessary to move forward, with a level-head.

And often I find, when you have a problem and you throw yourself into something completely unrelated, i.e. work…. suddenly things seem much more manageable a couple of hours or so later.

Thank you work. You are actually my God-send, my relief, my break and my holiday, in so many, many, many ways.

 

#503 Sister’s surprise visit

Today was not as I had to expected it to be – and not in a nice way. It was pretty devastating and heartbreaking to tell you the truth.

I was going to spend the day at home, with baby girl, on this sunny day on the 1st of July, feeling sorry for myself. Disenchanted about life and everything in it, questioning signs, asking for answers, and tearing my hair out in the mess of it all.

And then, fate, divine intervention, a sixth sense stepped in… what else can we call it? Oh that’s right.

My sister.

She must somehow know these things, sense these things. Know that somehow, somewhere, a part of me is crying out for help, support, a shoulder to sob on…

She came by, and it was the most unexpectedly happy moment of the day.

I did ask for help. I did ask for support. And I did have her shoulder to cry on.

And she said yes, yes, yes, with all of her heart.

Not all the day was doom and gloom. We both purged. We both laughed. We both went deep and delved.

And I caught this light-filled moment, light in every definition of the word, as she and baby girl jumped on the trampoline.

IMAG4609

♥♥♥

Thank you sis. I couldn’t live without your love. 🙂

#478 Turning bad news, into a good day

Anyone who would have seen Hubbie galloping alongside baby girl this afternoon in a playful fashion, laughing excitedly as we all headed hungrily towards the Westfield Doncaster glammed-up food court, would not for a moment have guessed that less than an hour earlier, he was receiving not-so-favourable news.

It wasn’t good news.

You see, he had seen an Endodontist this morning, and had been told that the front tooth he was experiencing some sensitivity with, this tooth that had been hit in a basketball game over a decade earlier, was slowly dying from the root, and his body had been slowly rejecting it all this time.

The tooth, could not be saved. It had to be removed, a denture put in for a while, and then eventually a false tooth to be permanently drilled into his gum.

All for a fair bit of $$$.

As he laughed alongside baby girl, I observed them and you couldn’t really tell who was sillier, who was more childlike of the two. I had to wonder ‘had he just been given bad news?’

Yes, he had. And yet he turned the day around, accepted it for what it was, and despite the knowledge of what was ahead, and the realisation that he could not save his damaged tooth as he had hoped, he looked at the positive and moved forward.

So we had a delicious Schnitz lunch.

We splurged on some clothes from Dangerfield – his and hers.

We had some coffee and cake at Zumbo café – sharing a cronut, and taking no heed of the advice from the Endodontist that sugar can rot your teeth in as little as half an hour after eating it, and that no, brushing your teeth twice a day does apparently jack sh*t towards preventing decay. Yay.

And then later at home, we got some pizza for dinner, danced with baby girl around the kitchen to Wiggles songs (that could have been a gratitude post in itself) and then drank red wine and ate some more doughnuts (you only live once, so screw advice)

It was a great day, and we had a lot of fun.

I feel especially lucky and fortunate to have a man like Hubbie by my side. It wasn’t me instigating the turn around of negative to positive energies today. It was him. ALL him. He was certainly dismayed by the news, and it WAS NOT what he was hoping to hear, at all. But having gone through some serious, heavy shit these last few years, he knew, that in comparison, this was a pebble drop into a pond compared to some boulders he’s seen smash through the smooth surface of pristine waters.

His attitude shift and positivity inspire me, and the fact that he turned something bad, into good, is kind of the point of this blog, isn’t it?

Ain’t love grand 🙂

 

#390 Baby girl’s naps no.2 – catch-up

This post has very little to do with baby girl, and all to do with what I do when she is NOT around.

I’m lucky that at the age of 3 and a half, she still naps. About, an hour to 90 minutes a day, sometimes even 2 hours if we’ve been to the beach, or she’s been to kinder or run around heaps. And even then I start to make a lot of noise at the 90 minute mark, as I know that putting her to bed that night might be a tad difficult after a long nap.

She’s just like her Mum. She loves her sleep, and I’m fortunate to say, she always has.

Today she went for an hour 40 minutes. During this time, I plop myself in front of the laptop, and begin all kinds of writing tasks/passions.

Today it was personal journal writing; food review writing; and book review writing.

I’ve been behind in my food and book reviews for so long. Soooo long. You know when you are so behind in something, you start to consider giving it up?

‘It’s too hard. I can’t keep up.’

‘My life is too busy right now.’

‘This is getting out of hand.’

‘Maybe I’ll try this in 5 years time.’

I wasn’t sure, whether any of it was worth it. The reviews. The blog. Even the gratitude. I question myself on some days, when things are hard, when time is pressed, and I don’t think I’m going anywhere.

But, I am grateful for the stubborn Lion that I am.

Because I just can’t freaking give up so easy. It’s not in my DNA.

You shouldn’t either.

As hard as it has been in the last months/years/life since parenthood (!) I have still persevered. I have moved EVER SO SLOWLY. And I fortunately, have not given up. These moments I get when baby girl is napping, and then when she is sleeping late at night, I am able to move on, to try and catch up, to keep things going with my blogs, my personal writings, my passionate pursuits, as much as I can.

They are slow, ever so slow, baby steps. A snails pace. And there are days when I have to do other things. ‘Responsible’ things. I can’t write every day, and those days feel so wasted on me. But when I can, I try my damn best.

But today, after doing some more writing, and then taking a kind of step back to go ‘hmm, my food reviews are almost catching up,’ and ‘hmm, I’m heading through my current book review at a decent pace’ (with 3 more looming in the background but that’s not the point!) I felt, good. I felt like, I was getting somewhere. And I started to feel like, I might actually be catching up.

That was such a good feeling. And I am so grateful, I had it. More so, I’m grateful that baby girl’s reliable naps, gave me the opportunity for it 🙂

#331 Somebodies to love

I was having a really shitty morning. Even for a glass half-full gal like me, when I am upset at something, or as was the case today, when I am upset at a NUMBER of things, even I struggle to find a piece of good in it, or something to be grateful for in the day.

But, I try. As bloody shitty as I am.

And pissed off as I was, running around being a taxi driver, people not working with me, feeling like a failure, feeling like I had to answer to people, feeling like everything was up in the air, feeling confused, feeling AHH!…

I had a thought. And suddenly, I realised I was lucky.

Here I was, running around for baby girl.

Here I was, running around for my parents.

Here I was, with my mother-in-law who was dropping plans her own plans to help me with baby girl.

Here my sister was, helping amidst her busy family schedule, to help me, and help our family unit out.

And all of these people, who were helping me, or were the recipients of help, I realised were part of the ongoing help cycle that is “US.”

I help them often. And they help me, much, much more.

And then Freddie Mercury came to mind.

“Can anybody find me…. somebody to love?”

I had so many people to love. And they loved me.

Suddenly, running around didn’t seem like such a chore anymore.

Suddenly, running around for those I loved, no matter how trying or frustrating some moments were, and knowing that those people in my ‘unit’ had run around for me too, so many times before, and probably would until the end of time, well, it became a blessing.

And just like that, my frown turned upside down.

It’s amazing how a change of perspective can change a situation, instantly.

Now for some genius… Freddie Mercury. 52 seconds.

You’re welcome.

 

#319 Little Scares

Big things aren’t always the best things. Sometimes, the little things are much rather preferred.

Take a little scare, over a big scare, for example.

It’s been a long and tiring day. It felt like it took 3 times as long to drive to the hospital where Dad was, following his health scare this morning. Plagued with worries and unreal scenarios in my mind, indented by the picture I had of Dad smiling at us that I posted about the other day, I was a bit of an emotional mess.

But I had no reason to be. Because it was a little scare. For now it seems anyway, and they are keeping him overnight more as a precaution, than a real concern. Dad is good, his spirits are well, and I even noticed how we had a moment of silly family fun, as Mum, Sis and I waited for Dad to be moved into another room, joking with the ‘taxi driver’ (bed mover) in the process.

I will take a little scare any day. When it comes to my family, it allows me to at least, breathe a sigh of relief, and express deep heartfelt thanks for it.

 

#305 Christmas at my parents’

Today was a long-awaited, yet weird Christmas Day. Definitely not a normal one. But these unusual ones come every so often. Like that one year there were freak hail storms which damaged too many cars, houses and general premises alike. Or that Christmas where we caught a canary, which became Hubbie’s pet “Chrissy” for a good few years. Or that other one, where we threw water balloons at each other in the yard, and made such a mess that Dad told us all off and we got in big trouble.

Hold on, that was last year.

Anyway, we were clearly due again this year.

All my life we’ve spent Christmas Day at my parents’ house. That’s 33 Christmases in a row. That’s a lot of Christmases. They were filled with a lot of family, relos and friends when I was growing up… nowadays our group is intimate, consisting no more of my sister, bro-in-law, 2 nephews, hubbie, baby girl and I, and our parents.

And today, amidst the usual food, cake, opening of presents, D&Ms, some kind of water activity (this year a cactus sprinkler) and endless photo-taking, there was an at-home doctor’s visit, followed by a trip to the 24/7 medical centre; me scolding Hubbie for drinking more than he was eating, and subsequently throwing him ‘looks,’ and 3 hours plus driving time on the road.

I was a little shitty, and feeling under pressure many times throughout the day. But my realisation was this: I wouldn’t pick any other group of people to spend a tense and stressful day with, even if that unusual day had to be Christmas Day.

The tough moments. The ones who are there for you in the hard times, and who make your life easier then – those are the keepers.

I still loved the day, because I was with my group of number 1s.

I hope you all had a magical Christmas Day 🙂