When death happens in the day, it’s hard to talk about anything else.
Death. Life. Death and Life, Life and Death. Both things trump pretty much everything else, yet we go on about the bullshit of day to day, the annoyances, grievances and grudges we hold like they actually matter.
They don’t. Like I said – Life and Death trumps all.
I heard of a death today. I didn’t even know the boy. Boy. That in itself speaks volumes. Not only was it a death, but a sudden, cruel and early exit.
But you don’t really need to know the person to feel sad, do you? Death in itself is scary and terrifying enough, but when it comes on so suddenly, and takes away someone that still has years and years and years ahead… it becomes so very heartbreaking.
It seems so very unfair.
There are about a million and one ways that we could die. Quite literally. Study biology and you will start to learn all of the diseases and bodily faults that can lead to our early demise. It is actually terrifying.
An accident, or an unlucky brush with the grim reaper, could be waiting for us at ANY TURN. Apart from hoping to God you stay healthy, you should also hope to God you don’t get hit by a car, a bookcase doesn’t fall on you, a tram runs into you, a flesh-eating bug eats away at your limbs and you eventually rot to death, a champagne cork pops in your direction and hits your temple, and, AND…
All the ways we can die are actually mind-numbingly baffling.
And yet, so many of us are LIVING. Day in, and day out.
We are in a sense, the lucky ones. The ones managing to escape death. That we are still alive today, and have managed to avoid disease and misfortune, and all the various ways in which our life could end, well that is a miracle. A true, unimaginable miracle.
We might be left behind, to cry, grieve, suffer as we experience deep loss, and wonder
“what is the point of it all?”
But still: We are the Lucky ones.
So today, on this day where I can’t think of much else but this fact, these are the things I am grateful for:
I am grateful I swept the floors.
I am grateful I mopped the floors.
I am grateful I changed the bed.
I am grateful I cleaned the toilet.
I am grateful that baby girl gave me attitude after kindergarten.
I am grateful we argued and she stormed off, slamming the door on me.
I am grateful, that harsh words were spoken to me.
I am grateful, that I spoke harsh words.
I am grateful, that I shook my head in disbelief.
I am grateful, that I sobbed.
I am grateful, that my heart broke just a little.
I am grateful for ALL of these things, all of these shitty, annoying, boring and fleeting things… because it means I’m ALIVE.
Because it means, I’m one of the LUCKY ONES.
And if you’re reading this, that means you are too.