I am always running around the day before people come over, but in some weird way, I think I love the madness.
The rush to clean, buy things, cook things, get things ready… I am flat off my feet, usually spent by days end and with barely no time to even sit on the couch for 20 minutes, but I do it, again and again, so either I am a sucker for punishment, or I just forget easily… 🤣
OR, I like to do this. 🥰 Also when it’s for people you love, the madness comes more easy. 💖💙
Today was the 1st day of May, and the skies opened up to sunshine and put the last month of disarray behind us.
I always enter May feeling like things are quieting down, and they are slowly, as we enter June, but also May tends to be a busy month, full of anniversaries and birthdays and other events, even more so this year.
And although the cooler weather will be with us permanently soon, there is just something magical about this time of year.
Watching the orange/brown leaves fly up into the air as cars drive by.
Enjoying the feel of a warm cup of tea in your hands.
Cold evenings that start to freeze your face.
Those chilly but brilliantly sunny days.
Hello May. 👋🍂
A few things have occurred to me lately, and though they may be a bit ‘duh, Fred’ to some, they truly were a bit of an enlightening moment to me.
Realisation number #1 Things are just gonna keep being busy, and getting busier.
I had this thought in my mind that as baby boy got older, things would get easier… yes, in some respects. I don’t need to carry him everywhere. He can entertain himself a lot more. Nights are better, though not the best, than what they used to be last year.
But they are still challenging. He can get into cupboards, climb onto the couch, up the stairs… the safety issues are rife, there are so many dangers around! And he still wants us, so, so much, especially when like these past couple of days, he is under the weather.
So I spend my days, encouraging my boy to be more independent, but then following him around because he’s not allowed to open certain drawers, climb couches, stairs, etc. 🤦♀️
Sure, things will get easier at some stage… like when he’s in kinder, or it might even be way into prep, who knows. But as he gets older, and he has different needs, then school, after-school activities, his needs will merge with baby girl’s, and somehow I will be trying to balance and get to them both, as well as my own, as well as Hubbie’s, as well as Mister F’s (🤦♀️😸) as well as the house, as well as everyone in our life!
I just need to learn to adapt and move with this busy-ness, rather than expect it will get easier. It will get easier when they move out, and then I will be sad. 😭
So until then, I accept it all! Not happily all the time, no, but I accept it. 😅
And that takes me to my second realisation…
Realisation number #2 Accept that I can’t do everything and keep up with house stuff and my life right now.
This is kind of a realisation within a realisation… but with the busy-ness, obviously comes the fact that I can’t do all the things.
I can’t catch up on laundry. This is my never-ending story. I can’t have a clean house. I can’t have a neat house. There is always someplace I need to go, but I can’t go. There is always something I need to buy, but I don’t have the time to research.
Mess is everywhere and we have to accept that as baby boy moves through the house, his trail of destruction follows behind him.
This is life at the moment. This also won’t be forever, but this is the stage we’re in.
I am not the only one who has been in this stage. Every parent has gone through this stage of intensity, or rushed evenings, days, mornings. Always picking up the pieces, but never quite getting there. Living in what feels like mess, all the time.
I know all parents have difficulties during the young child phase, but it really hit me tonight, that they all go through this exact thing, including me. That’s why all the motherhood and parenthood poems I read online talk about messy homes, toys strewn everywhere, the inability to catch up, get food on the table, etc.
It felt like it was only me, but then I realised it wasn’t only me. And that made me feel better. This is but a stage. A full on, intense, busy one… full of love, happiness, plenty of laughs, and lots of little and big steps running across the house.
And now that I’ve accepted it, I think I’m going to enjoy this phase a bit more now. 🥰
As soon as I woke up I realised it was going to be a busy day.
I mean, every day is busy with a baby in tow, albeit a routine one that needs his naps on time and is hangry if the food enters his mouth half a second late. 🙄😆
But baby girl’s school was hosting a Harmony Week ceremony today by having a smoking ceremony to honour the land. They did this years ago, which Hubbie and I attended, and LOVED. What better way to celebrate cultural diversity than to honour the ways of the original people that walked this land.
Hearing they were doing it again, and because I do often miss out on school events due to work or baby boy’s nap times, I was excited to realise I could go.
I had to hang at the back and follow baby boy around as he performed his own land ceremony – you know, picking up sticks and rocks and trying to eat them… 🤣 as well as going up to random people to tap them and say hi. 👋 But it was done by the same local Aboriginal man, and just as before all the students, teachers and parents present were able to walk through the mystical smoke to cleanse themselves of any negativity.
I LOVE THIS STUFF.
It was then back at home for a nappy change, (baby boy) outfit change (myself, thanks Melbourne weather) grabbing some snacks and stuff, before jumping back in the car to incorporate baby boy’s nap into the drive to Mini Maestros.
Of course, I had to eat, so drive-through it was once he was asleep (the healthy person I am 🙄) and we arrived at the park just as his nap was meant to end, and my food and coffee were mostly finished. 😄
Why park? Wasn’t I going to Mini Maestros? Why yes. The things we do as parents you see. It is much easier for me to drive to Mini Maestros, about a 22 minute drive away, when baby boy is sleeping, rather than when he is awake and upset most of the time, so I get there earlier, go to a park literally a few streets away, and we hang out until his class time.
Like I said, the THINGS WE DO for peace.
The park was lovely. I was following him around, encouraging him to explore some low tree trunks they’ve turned into stepping stones, I was also feeding him as we went, and it was just perfect really… grand old trees stood on the outskirts of the park, the sun was shining bright, and the sounds of many children wafted down the street from what I assumed was a school not too far away.
But we were the only ones there.
It was as we were leaving the park to go to his Mini Maestro class, thinking how I was likely going to finish this term because this run around with naps and driving and trying to keep him from being upset was too much, too much pressure, when I kinda realised something…
I had incorporated a lovely little tradition into our Monday mornings. Sure it was all to avoid a big shitstorm in the car, you know, make sure he’s sleeping so we leave early but then need to go to the park etc, but would I have gone to a park if I wasn’t trying to avoid drama?
Would I have tried to go to a park, at all, that day, or any time that week, if I hadn’t gone for that reason?
And then the clincher, maybe trying to avoid all the car drama was a blessing, and I had in fact inadvertently created a special something that we could enjoy together?
And I guess you could say, I could always cancel Mini Maestros but still go to a park, right?
But you know how it is. As soon as you don’t need to do anything, you end up filling your day with crap, jobs, anything meaningless. It’s shit, I know. No matter how much you try, how much you want to make the most of it, life and jobs and day-to-day stuff gets in the way.
So, I don’t know… maybe I keep the mad Monday rush, just to keep a little slice of that peaceful park heaven.
What do you think? 🤔
Sometimes photos can tell you more, more positive things than words ever can.
So here are two such things from today:
A quick coffee this morning before work and life craziness began.
And a portrait of myself, drawn by my darling daughter. My eyes are like that because I’m looking down at my computer (I was working when she drew it) and I have no nose. 🤣
🥰💖
In my usual pre-party manner, I was running around today all frustrated and cranky, and then of course something happened.
Perspective happened.
Because I was feeding baby boy, and he suddenly stopped and looked at me doing an “eh,” pointing at a nearby decoration I had put up.
And I melted. He was noticing what I had done, but also reminding me of the very reason for all of this running around.
Him.
A celebration of his birth-day, his first year with us, and that in itself was anything but frustrating.
It was beautiful, it was blessed, it was joyful.
It was worth smiling about.
I got up with him nuzzled alongside me, properly re-framed, ready to tackle the rest of the day… with love. 🙏💖
I know this is not ‘the last time,’ but still I found myself wistfully observing all the little things baby girl and I do on the daily, on this day, the last day of her school holidays.
It’s been such a busy summer school holiday period. There was Christmas, Christening planning, I had a heap of health issues, and then all of a sudden, bang! There was like, a week left of holidays…
And now here we are. The day before.
I took all of her in as we did our morning walk to help baby boy sleep. She takes charge willingly, pushing the pram for the first part of the trip. I of course let her do this happily – anyone that helps me with one of my many daily things with baby boy I accept graciously.
And I don’t have any family and friends around who can help me on a regular basis, but I realised today she is my person. She is the one I lean on, and this whole time that Hubbie has been working, she has been my constant, day in and day out.
The weather was perfect. Still. Sunny. We stopped at the park as we usually do, and she had a play, before we continued on our journey.
There’s a cat I noticed before the holidays, that would come out of a particular house, it was so friendly and almost coming out to greet me as I’d walk by with the pram, but of course this cat has been awol the entire holiday period…
Until today!
It was actually in the driveway, and I was so happy to finally show baby girl the cat I had mentioned to her.
I love our time together, the things we do, and I already can’t wait until the next holidays (and it’s a short term term 1 too!)
But I am also so happy for her to be starting school, because I know she is. 🥰🥰
I am so damn busy I won’t even proof this post.
But it’s been a mad, mad day. I was earlier snapping it a bit at my family at home, rushing to do this, rushing to do that… why wasn’t this done earlier, why do I have so much left at the end, etc etc etc.
Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing, if only for the fact that you must STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING and feed your baby. I was doing this at his bedtime, momentarily paused from going mad, on my phone at the same time, and something jarred me.
Someone on social media had posted a sick photo of their niece, asking for donations for the sickness.
She was a year old.
My heart dropped. Everything fell into place. All my running and whinging and complaining and stressing, ALL of it, felt so very insignificant.
Suddenly, I was like, let me rush.
Let me be late going to bed.
Let me run around like crazy tomorrow morning.
Let me feel this crazy spell we’re under, because we are celebrating a beautiful thing tomorrow, our son’s christening. Something that at many times in the past, I seriously doubted I would say.
I am blessed. We are blessed. As long as we are healthy, and have each other, that is enough.
Stuff the details. The insignificant crap.
Tomorrow we are celebrating the most joyous occasion ever with our loved ones, and I for one can’t wait.
🥰🥰🙏🙏
Which proverb do you believe to be correct?
Too many cooks spoil the broth?
OR
Many hands make light work?
Well it doesn’t really matter, because the latter was our house today. I delegated and I delegated, and there’s nothing like stuff getting done while you are yourself getting stuff also done…
Ahh, while baby boy just crawled around and laughed and played through it all. No idea what all the fuss is about, that a huge day is coming for him, very, very soon.
🥰
I don’t spend a lot of time on our balcony lately, nor do I get a chance to just stare out our windows at the watery horizon beyond.
And this week is a hectic week for us, the week leading up to baby boy’s christening. Things are crazy busy with an 11 month-old and10 year-old, without throwing a special once-in-a-lifetime event like this in the mix (because whereas other things happen time and time again in a lifetime, a baby is christened only once, you see).
So it wouldn’t surprise you that I have been trying to pack up Christmas stuff for over a week now. 🤣 I always wait until after Orthodox Christmas, but I have waited extra (accidentally, lol) and today I finally got everything packed up and away, yay!
One of the last things to go was the outdoor lighting. I have lights hanging off the balcony, and following dinner I went upstairs to sit on the planks and de-thread them from the balcony wire.
Baby girl, Hubbie and baby boy joined me there, and were even talking to me from ground level below. They were pointing out the water, the sky, the sun reflecting off the water… even though I was busy busy busy, I stopped, for only a second.
It sure was beautiful.
And no, I have no picture, (I was too busy, remember) the picture is in my mind. A partly cloudy/sunny day, the sun directly shining on the water, summer in the air, and ease all around.
I love this place. I will always try and enjoy it, even when I’m crazy busy like today.🙏🌅
carcrashgratitude 