Month: December 2023

#2916 Red to ring out the old year

Well, it’s definitely a different New Year’s Eve this year.

We haven’t actually spent it at home, alone, at all in our Sea Change home, since we moved here, but there’s always a FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING.

Baby boy entered our world this year. A true blessing, that’s an understatement. The year has been rife with sweetness and challenges, each one seemingly trumping the other before greater challenges and greater happiness presents on the horizon.

We spent the evening super low-key, grabbing some burgers and chips on the Main Street, before finishing the evening at home.

We kissed baby boy and hugged him, thanking him for entering our world, our family, this year.

Then baby girl and I braved the cold and went outside to look for fireworks, and we couldn’t see them… but now, I can hear them all around!

We enter 2024 with love, hope, happiness, and the mindset that we can get through. We have gone through some serious shit, and have come out the other side. Things can still get difficult, some things are still difficult, but I feel blessed that we have our family, each other, all under the one roof. 🙏

Another big thing to be grateful for? On the last day of 2023 I found the dress I’ll wear for baby boy’s christening, yay!

Super rapt. 😁😁

Happy New Year 2024/Whatever-You-Want-It-To-Be. Hope you have a great one, whatever that is. 😉🥳

#2915 Vows, hope and help

This year has seen me leave myself last.

I’ve forgotten myself.

I haven’t thought of my wellbeing.

Much to my detriment.

After several months of breastfeeding pain, today I privately saw a lactation consultant, hoping she could point me in the right direction to solve my health issues.

I’ve been up and down about doing this in the past, for many reasons.

My health has been down, but also up.

Finances.

The time factor. Did I really have to drop everything and put myself first?

The question of, could she really help?

I kept talking myself out of it – a bad thing.

I’ve realised in recent days that I’ve been causing myself so much pain by putting everyone and everything else first before me.

Kids.

Husband.

Family.

Work.

House stuff.

Christmas. 

Christening. 

The list goes on and on.

And though I don’t quite believe in the whole new year’s resolution stuff (believe what works for you I say, whether it’s a new year or a new day) I am actually vowing myself one thing as I enter 2024 (but I’m starting already).

I am totally putting myself first.

I will not wait until my health deteriorates to make an urgent call at the last minute.

I will tend to myself, with love, with care, with consideration, because let’s face it, if I’m suffering, then my family is f$%ked.

True story. 🤣

I’m thankful for this kind and educated soul that came to me today, and praying hard that her suggestions are the solutions to my health issues. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

#2913 Playdate reach out

I may have been just as happy as baby girl was this evening when her friend’s mum sent me a message asking if she was free for a playdate next week.

Just as she was happy to be thought of, so too was I as her mum, to know that someone is thinking of her on the holidays.

I love the girly excitement. 🤩❤

#2912 Emotional and physical supports

Today has been one of the hardest days by far. I thought sleep deprivation was bad (IT IS). Physical pain is a whole other level.

Three things helped me today. The facial I had pre-booked, trying to use up a voucher that very nearly expired this month. It was following a whole day of pain and discomfort, and so to lie there while someone tended to me, reminded me that the whole point of putting myself first is so important, and unfortunately the lack of it, is why I’m in this painful predicament in the first place.

New Years Resolution #1 Put myself first, to the detriment of everything else. I don’t care about all the other shit anymore!

Second. Bestie gave me some much needed advice regarding my pain, and I am hoping to God that it will help me. Having someone to lean on who has been through similar crap, can be better than any GP advice out there.

Third. My darling girl wrote me this note in the heat of my pain today:

I am so lucky to have her love and care. I am so lucky for a lot of things in my life, but I will be luckier still when I get this horrible discomfort out of my life.

But for now, these things were my saviours today. 🙏

#2911 Looking for the dress

Today was a bit of a weird disaster day.

I’m feeling quite desperate to find a dress for baby boy’s upcoming christening, with less than a month away… and so we headed down to the biggest shopping centre in Victoria.

Chadstone.

The whole family, including our 10 month old baby boy.

ON BOXING DAY. 😬

Let me just say, we are never doing that again. We are all a bit scarred from the event, so much so that I think we won’t be going to Chadstone on a regular shopping day anytime soon.

I didn’t find a dress… kind of. I tried one on, and the size above is a tad loose, the size under a tad tight.

There is no in-between ‘just right.’

But I tried, I can tick it off my list, and there may just be life in that dress yet…

#2910 Baby boy’s 1st Christmas

It was baby boy’s 1st Christmas today!

Was it busy? Yes.

Was it fun? Yes.

Was it different… yes. For good and bad. Good because now we have two kids opening presents on Christmas morning.

Bad because my sister was sick and couldn’t join in the family lunch.

These days of firsts, they’re blessings. But they’re also just days, and there will be plenty more days, plenty more firsts, plenty more happiness to be had, when we can all be together.

I still cherish these days, these incomplete, imperfect, raw and real and sleepless days.

At the end of the day he screamed, he needed help falling asleep. I nuzzled my nose into his neck, his little body resting against mine and becoming heavier and heavier.

These moments are real, they’re tiring, they’re hard, but I feel blessed to be his safe and happy place.

That’s what it’s all about. Family and love at Christmastime.

Hope you all had a beautiful day with your loved ones. 🥰🎄💖🙏

#2909 Christmas Eve relief

This Christmas Eve looks a whole lot different to ones past.

Firstly, the thing I am perhaps most grateful for at the moment is the diagnosis I received today. I’m grateful because it’s one I haven’t had before, and fingers crossed the mastitis (yikes, yes) that the doc says I have will be killed with the meds I rushed down to the pharmacy to get this evening.

So yep, things are different on a Christmas Eve with a new bubs in tow. 🙄🤦‍♀️

But there are the other things too. Like, it’s baby boy’s first Christmas. He doesn’t know it, but we do.

It’s also the first year as a family of 4… the first year that baby girl has a little brother to celebrate this most festive day with… the first year that I am more hopeful and grateful than ever, for the little things:

Family. Love. Peace.

Health. Sleep. 🤣

I am finally on the couch after a truly hectic day. I am eager to see baby girl’s and baby boy’s faces tomorrow morning as they open up our presents to them, but also as they get to see what Santa has gotten them this year…

The happiness and laughter will fill the air, but I will feel it more if my health continues to improve, as nothing makes you more grateful for good health than feeling poorly for so long.

But I think what will be most entertaining, is this simple fact: baby boy will have more fun with the wrapping paper, and trying to eat it, than he will playing with his new toys.

No wait. I know for a fact there are a few plush toys in there that he will love cuddling. 🥰

Loving where I am this year, this time, this Christmas Eve, with my beautiful family, my beautiful kids. With everything else upside down and uncertain and all… I still love it. 🙏🎄

#2908 Christmas feels on Christmas Eve Eve

I was pushing baby boy up the escalator with baby girl right behind me. All of a sudden, before we reached the main floor of our local shopping centre…

Trumpet!

The classic sounds of Christmas carols started loudly making their way over to us. A trumpet player was playing “Jingle Bell Rock” with a guy following with a musical speaker, and a Santa Claus and Mrs Claus too, with an Elf.

Shoppers were everywhere, but most funniest were those pushing big trolleys of food for their Christmas feasts, trying to get around the Christmas music and costumed folk, some looking bewildered at all the Christmas shenanigans, others smiling and laughing, much like we were as we reached the top.

We made our way around them as Santa and Mrs Claus sat on a nearby bench, and when they saw baby girl they urgently called her over to sit between them! I encouraged her, and as she sat down the Elf girl took a polaroid picture of them, handing me the cute photo.

Awww.

Baby girl and I kept laughing about the music and Santa folk, counting our lucky stars that the music started as we entered the building, kinda ideal, like in the movies…

Christmas movies. 🥰🎄🎅💖

#2907 The last Christmas package

The last one of my orders arrived today. On the last business day before Christmas. 😅

It was a present for baby girl, and the box clearly had the brand label on the front, left so nicely at our front door. 🤦‍♀️

Fortunately I saw the parcel before she did. I took it to another room, wrapped it, and it’s now under the tree. Unbeknownst to her there’s an extra present there she doesn’t know about. 🤣🎄🎁💖