On this day, the 30th of December, I can’t help but reflecting on the year that has passed…
I have grown. I have changed.
I have felt extreme lows that have physically rocked me.
I have felt dizzying highs that have surrounded my head in iridescent clouds.
Combined this has led me to a balance of in-between. Of remaining hopelessly optimistic as I travel through life, yet also being anxiously cautious of any shocks that may spring up unannounced.
With the cyclical nature of life, I am still happy. I am grateful for what I have, today. Every time that I observe something good, I am so happy for it, because I know that like everything, nothing lasts forever.
This stark truth keeps me paranoid, but the glass half-full gal in me ignores it until the very last moment.
I have what I need. Sure there are things that I want… but I remind myself of the important things. Of Hubbie and Baby Girl. Their love, their health. There are challenging days, and sometimes even tears, but I think the laughter we share as a family trumps that all.
Next year has a lot in store. So many changes. So much uncertainty and confusion, yet there is excitement in the unknown.
All the possibilities… what will eventuate? What will proceed? I am not alone in my life upheavals, with Baby Girl and Hubbie going through changes of their own… growing up, moving on, and discovering life.
We never stop discovering life.
So I am content. I am content in this not-knowing. It keeps me on edge and primed for action.
I am grateful with what I have now. Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes not having the things that you want is because there is a greater plan for you.
We aren’t meant to know it all. Just, let it go.
In this moment, life is good. And for that, on this second last day of 2018, I am supremely grateful.
Unsplash credit: Paola Chaaya